This is a sign of the apocalypse.

[Kire]

Yes, it is.

The producers of "Sesame Street" have decided that Cookie Monster is gay.

Hold the phone. I'm kidding. But try to hold onto your reaction for a moment because what they've really done to Cookie Monster is worse - they've taken away his reason for being.

Since my copy of "Meditations" by Marcus Aurelius is in storage, let me explain by paraphrasing Hannibal Lecter's famous dialogue with Clarice Starling in "Silence of the Lambs." Imagine Lecter isn't a superhuman cannibalistic serial killer and that, instead of being a doe-eyed feminist naif in the FBI, Ms. Starling is a doe-eyed feminist naif at the Children's Television Workshop.

Lecter: "First principles, Clarice. Read Marcus Aurelius. Of each particular thing, ask: What is it in itself? What is its nature? What does he do, this creature you seek?

Starling: He entertains children..

Lecter: "No! That is incidental. What is the first and principal thing he does? What need does he serve by entertaining children?

Starling: Social acceptance? Personal frustration?

Lecter: No: He craves. That's his nature. And what does he crave? Make an effort to answer.

Starling: Food?

Lecter: No! He is not a "food monster!" He is a cookie monster!

But not according to the well-meaning social engineers of PBS. After three decades, they've announced he's not a Cookie Monster at all. In the interests of teaching kids not to be gluttons, CTW has transformed Cookie Monster into just another monster who happens to like cookies. His trademark song, "C is for Cookie" has been changed to "A Cookie Is a Sometimes Food." And this is a complete and total reversal of Cookie Monster's ontology, his telos, his raison d'etre, his essential Cookie-Monster-ness.

More: http://www.townhall.com/columnists/jonahgoldberg/jg20050422.shtml

[alittlelark]

1. Coooookiiieeeees!!!!!

Puhlease... this is so wrong.;(

[kiraboo]

2. If not the apolcalypse, then surely our loss of innocence. n/t

[Hatalles]

3. I think the Daily Show mentioned this...

Can't remember for certain though.

[shesemsmom]

4. This only affirms for me

that most of the world has gone nuts:scared:

[havocmom]

5. Next: Oscar is no longer a "grouch"

He is plagued with a chemical imbalance which creates a tendency to be under-cheerful. They will fill him with Prozac and change his name to Oscar the Sexually Dysfunctional Insomniac

[nytemare]

6. Ernie and Burt have spread their agenda to Cookie Monster!

What will the world ever do now!

:)

[DS1]

7. His unrelenting quest for cookies was the only thing I respected in him

I could look past the garbage can thing. Not anymore.

[FuzzySlippers]

13. Ummm.....I think you're a little confused.

Oscar the Grouch lives in the garbage can.:-)

[necso]

8. "The Meditations"

http://classics.mit.edu/Antoninus/meditations.html

"This thing, what is it in itself, in its own constitution? What is its substance and material? And what its causal nature (or form)? And what is it doing in the world? And how long does it subsist?"

[youthere]

9. Ummm

I was raised on sesame street, and even as a five year old I picked up on the fact that CM wasn't really EATING the cookies. Good God what have they done?

[Huckebein the Raven]

10. Damn their black hearts

Cookie Monster is not the same without his craving for cookies. Someone deserves a foot in their ass

x(

[Mugweed]

11. I almost choked on my cookie

when I first saw the news. C is for "cease and desist", a potential lawsuit is good enough for me. What was it, did they think eventually fat kids were going to sue them for some cookie addiction? I was a kid once and was smart enough to know these things:
1) It's a puppet
2) Cookies are a snack or a treat
3) No real person eats that many cookies, so don't imitate it


Stupid people raising stupid children....

[_testify_]

12. I can't imagine a child who wanted to BE cookie monster n/t