You are a fluke of the Universe. You have no right to be here.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

Go placidly amid the noise and waste,
and remember what comfort there may be in owning a piece of the rock.
Avoid quiet and passive persons, unless you are in need of sleep.
Rotate your tires.
Speak glowingly of those greater than yourself
and heed well their advice, even though they be turkeys.
Know what to kiss... and when.
Consider that two wrongs never make a right... but that three do.
Wherever possible, put people on hold.
Be comforted that in the face of all erudity and disillusionment,
and despite the changing fortunes of time,
there is always a big future in computer maintainance.

Remember the Pueblo.
Strive at all times to bend, fold, spindle, and mutilate.
Know yourself. If you need help, call the FBI.
Exercise caution in your daily affairs,
especially with those persons closest to you...
that lemon on your left, for instance.
Be assured that a walk through the ocean of most souls
would scarcely get your feet wet.
Fall not in love, therefore; it will stick to your face.
Gracefully surrender the things of youth,
birds, clean air, tuna, Taiwan,
and let not the sands of time get in your lunch.
Hire people with hooks.
For a good time call 606-4311. Ask for Ken.
Take heart amid the deepening gloom
that your dog is finally getting enough cheese,
and reflect that whatever misfortune may be your lot,
it could only be worse in Milwaukee.

You are a fluke of the Universe.
You have no right to be here,
and whether you can hear it or not,
the Universe is laughing behind your back.

Therefore, make peace with your god,
whatever you conceive him to be:
hairy thunderer or cosmic muffin.
With all its hopes, dreams, promises, and urban renewal,
the world continues to deteriorate.

Give up.


(National Lampoon 1972 - Melissa Manchester's first big singing gig)

[catzies]

1. I'm so old I remember hearing that on the radio when I was a kid

Doctor Demento played it. I think I was 10! :silly:

[bif]

22. I'm so old I remember hearing it as a teen

Late 60s?

[AlabamaYankee]

30. I'm so old I bought the poster

When it first came out. I may still have it somewhere, but I've moved a few times and things do get lost.

[Skip Intro]

2. The universe is a fluke of me

just reverse the flow

(i dunno)

welcome back

[zubeneshamali]

4. Viewpoint is everything, right?

:toast:

[Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin]

3. Yes

The Bush administration's theme song.

[Richardo]

5. LOL!! They played that on KPFT last weekend!

I hadn't heard it since college (1974-78).

What a crack up. Thx, NSMA!

:D :thumbsup:

[ForrestGump]

6. Cool! How did I never hear that before?

I've led such a sheltered life...

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

7. Nah just taking a break from being gone

I think I'll resume being gone again soon...life is much happier that way :D

[ForrestGump]

10. Well....

*sniff sniff*....

If it makes you happy, then - *sniff sniff* - I'm happy...




By the way, I'm sorry about all this sniffing. You just smell good - like papoosas, only better.

And I'm sorry about that...uh...the thing with your leg. I'm just very affectionate.

[LearnedHand]

16. That reminds me of HotBlack Desiato...

...who was taking a year off dead for tax purposes.

[oneighty]

20. Don't go. Don't go.

"Don't go. Don't go.

From another song Ms. Tenna.

Ed

[Richardo]

9. Nat'l Lampoon called it "Deteriorata" - a parody of the "Desiderata"

...a simplistic, treacle-y proto-"new age" thingy from 1927 that saw a revival in the early 70s.
--------------------------------------
After a google, here it is!

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant, they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit.

If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let not this blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.

Therefore, be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams; it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful.

Strive to be happy.


--- Max Ehrmann, 1927

[ForrestGump]

14. Thanks! I first saw it as a poster in a dentist's office,

that I guess is kind of a natural habitat for it. The "go placidly" bit was in big letters, in fancy script, and I remember thinking "no way - this dentist's going to have to defeat me, physically, before I'll submit to his sadistic oral fixation."

Isn't there (or wasn't there) some controversy over how old the thing is and who penned it?

[catzies]

23. Well, not quite controversy but there is a story...

The Confused History of "Desiderata"

The author is Max Ehrmann, a poet and lawyer from Terre Haute, Indiana, who lived from 1872 to 1945. It has been reported that Desiderata was inspired by an urge that Ehrmann wrote about in his diary:

"I should like, if I could, to leave a humble gift -- a bit of chaste prose that had caught up some noble moods."

Around 1959, the Rev. Frederick Kates, the rector of St. Paul's Church in Baltimore, Maryland, used the poem in a collection of devotional materials he compiled for his congregation. (Some years earlier he had come across a copy of Desiderata.) At the top of the handout was the notation, "Old St. Paul's Church, Baltimore A.C. 1692." The church was founded in 1692. <1>

As the material was handed from one friend to another, the authorship became clouded. Copies with the "Old St. Paul's Church" notation were printed and distributed liberally in the years that followed. It is perhaps understandable that a later publisher would interpret this notation as meaning that the poem itself was found in Old St. Paul's Church, dated 1692. This notation no doubt added to the charm and historic appeal of the poem, despite the fact that the actual language in the poem suggests a more modern origin. The poem was popular prose for the "make peace, not war" movement of the 1960s.

When Adlai Stevenson died in 1965, a guest in his home found a copy of Desiderata near his bedside and discovered that Stevenson had planned to use it in his Christmas cards. The publicity that followed gave widespread fame to the poem as well as the mistaken relationship to St. Paul's Church. <1>

As of 1977, the rector of St. Paul's Church was not amused by the confusion. Having dealt with the confusion "40 times a week for 15 years," he was sick of it. <1>

This misinterpretation has only added to the confusion concerning whether or not the poem is in the public domain.

By the way, Desiderata is Latin for "Things to be Desired."

[SOteric]

8. The catechumenates used to pass that around

for laughs when I was in CCD.

[Jack Rabbit]

11. College Dorm story

One dorm room had a copy of Desiderata on the door with a plume. Next door was a copy of the above, Deteriorada, with a plucked rubber chicken.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

13. Too funny

and did I miss your birthday or did I remember to drop a note in your inbox? I can't remember...either way Happy Birthday (I think it was recently, if not HB anyway :D )

[Jack Rabbit]

15. Thanks

It's a week from next Monday.

!!

[Paragon]

12. Or, as Bill Hicks put it:

"If you have children I am sorry to tell you this: They are not special. You think your child is special because one out of 200 million sperm connected? Gee, what are the fuckin' odds? You know what that means? That means I have wiped entire civilizations off my chest with a gray gym sock. I've tossed universes in my underpants. While napping. That is special."

[pdx_prog]

17. Good lord....

The Radio Dinner LP....

I liked the '72 Nixon........beep beep....lol

[MaineDem]

18. Oh man, does this bring back memories!

Good ones. Protests and, um....ummmm...well, heck, I was single then. There was no AIDS threat. You know how it goes! :evilgrin:

[gratuitous]

19. Yeah, uh, memories

Memories of . . . well, let's see.

Hell folks, it was the 1970s and I was in college. You do the math!

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

21. You're OLD!

[BiggJawn]

28. Yeah, I remember....No AIDS....

Herpes was the worst thing modern squalor could throw at us then...
and even not-so-good-looking geeky guys could score regularly.

[Hubert Flottz]

24. We are smack in the middle of the Magical Misery Tour!

I like to soak my feet in the wading pool!

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

25. That was my OTHER favorite on that disc!

Genius is PAIN!

[Hubert Flottz]

26. I have the Lampoon album and the Lennon bootleg album!

I subscribed to National Lampoon magazine! The FBI was checking out Lampoon subscribers for a while, but I never found out if they kept tabs on me! The Lennon/Plastic Oh-No Band album was recorded in Canada, but I got my copy in Germany! The album cover was round and made of plastic! The album was Never sold in the US, because Nixon was trying to keep John Lennon and his music out of the US! Bush is Nixon II!

[DinahMoeHum]

27. Ahhhh, the memories. . .

from National Lampoon's Radio Dinner album.

[Kat45]

29. I always LOVED "Deteriorata" - Back then in the early 70s,

I was in high school and all the girls were really into "Desiderata," which made me want to puke. My friends all had the poster of it on their bedroom wall. Then I heard "Deteriorata" and I laughed my ass off. Man, did I love it--it was the perfect antidote to the popular sappy, sickening 'poem'. But I'll bet none of the other girls would have appreciated it. LOL

[geniph]

31. Hiya Teena!

boy, do I ever remember this...Doctor Demento used to play it on the radio. I loved it, as I was eternally being nauseated by the Desiderata posters all the happy-happy types had on their walls.