Postman
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Thu Oct-23-03 05:06 PM
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Late Night Chucklers..... |
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"In California this week, grocery clerks have gone on strike. That means for the second time in two weeks, Gray Davis is out of a job." —Jimmy Fallon, Saturday Night Live's "Weekend Update"
"Three suspicious bags filled with clay-like material, bleach and box-cutters were found on two Southwest Airlines planes in New Orleans and Houston. That's the bad news. The good news, we have been so successful in cutting off terrorist funding they have been forced to fly Southwest." —Jay Leno
China sent its first man into space. Experts say China's space program is just intended to direct people's attention away from the country's economic problems. Hey, it beats going to war." —Jay Leno
"Bush's approval rating has risen to 56%, the stock market is up, the economy is doing better. See, that's the good thing about these baseball playoffs. Bush is so distracted, he can't screw anything up." —Jay Leno
"The White House now has a big PR campaign to convince the nation things are going well in Iraq, but their slogan is not the best: 'This is not your father's Vietnam.'" —Jay Leno
"Vice President Dick Cheney has given another speech linking Saddam Hussein with the terrorist attacks of 9/11. Didn't President Bush say Saddam Hussein has nothing to do with the terrorist attacks? Here's my question, what if it turns out that Dick Cheney is the dumb one?" —Jay Leno
"President Bush says he is now working on a plan to destabilize the Cuban economy and drive it into huge deficits. He knows it works because he has been testing it here since the day he took office." —Jay Leno
"On the Christian Broadcasting Network, Pat Robertson said the State Department should be blown up with nuclear bombs. I guess he just asked himself: What Would Jesus Do?" —Jay Leno
"There is an investigation now, they say Rush could go to prison. You thought he was against gay marriages before!" —Jay Leno
"Big news on CNN, a search has uncovered illegal biochemical agents, toxins and other dangerous substances. Not in Iraq, in Rush Limbaugh's medicine cabinet." —Jay Leno
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Postman
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Thu Oct-23-03 05:09 PM
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"The Bush Administration said there will be a delay in restoring a newly elected democratic government in Iraq. However, they said the delay will not be as long as the one we have had in this country." —Jay Leno
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ComerPerro
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Thu Oct-23-03 05:10 PM
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2. Pretty soon Leno won't have an audience |
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Its nice to see he is working on the right (at least in these jokes here). But he whored so much for Arnold and Dennis Miller when they were on the show, as well as just for Republicans in general, that I have decided to just avoid his show entirely. Now it looks like he might piss off the right wing...
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amlouden
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Thu Oct-23-03 05:13 PM
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and that's to piss off every person possible
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ShimokitaJer
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Thu Oct-23-03 05:31 PM
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4. Leno isn't choosing to attack the right |
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Leno jokes about whatever is in the news, so whatever the media chooses to talk about, THAT will be his joke for the day. You can almost predict what jokes he'll tell and what order they'll be in by watching CNN that day.
I guess you could consider it a good sign that there's finally enough negative news about Bush that it's so easy to make fun of, but I don't give Leno credit for that.
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Fri May 03rd 2024, 02:46 AM
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