I feel like completely giving up.

[Writer]

So I used to have a career, right?

Then my husband was relocated. No more career.

So I tried fiction writing for a year. A few shorts but nothing published.

So I tried for an MFA. Didn't get accepted.

So I tried for an MA. Got accepted, but I have no frickin' clue where it's going.

So I now am wondering if I'll ever have a career again. Maybe I should toss my shoes off, let myself go completely, squirt out a few puppies, and work about the farm.

Why do I even try anymore?

Writer.

[sir_captain]

1. Hang in there

If nothing else, having an MA should boost your pay if/when you find yourself back in the workforce. I'm guessing from your post that the degree is in English, and if so, and you don't want to be a high school English teacher, upping your pay grade is, sadly, probably all that it's good for.

[Writer]

5. Actually, it's in Mass Comm.

I have a B.S. in Radio-TV-Film that I actually put to use for a while.

So an old professor friend of mine says that an M.A. isn't worth as much as an M.S. in "the business" which made me feel a little sad about what I'm doing.

But hey - thanks for the encouragement. It's always nice to have a few chums around who are listening.

[Floogeldy]

2. You just keep trying

That is what it is all about.

B-)

[fleabert]

3. Kids may never be boring, but they are not the answer for boredom!

:-) Can't do the old job in the new town? anyway to recreate it or start your own biz?

I am sure this is a momentary thing, and you will find your path again. We all go thru this from time to time. I am 31 and still don't know what I want to be when I grow up!

[HEyHEY]

4. Here's how you look at it

Don't write for the sake of money, write for the sake of writing

[Writer]

6. Writing's always in my shadow...

I won't stop doing that, but I still have these pesky student loans...

I agree. Write for the sake of writing. Writing has helped me survive my Bush days. Catharsis supreme.

[serryjw]

7. .....Because the alternative sucks

Everyone needs to find a purpose. What do you want to do with you MA? Start writing online. If you have the luxury of not needing the money to survive use you craft to get experience and a following. You never know whom may read it!

[EFerrari]

8. So, how sleep deprived have you been lately?

When I was in grad school -- reentry, single mom, two young teens, I had nights just like this. I think I was just tired!

[Writer]

9. I just finished a rather sleep-deprived semester.

No kids here. Lots of good work behind me, but I understand what you mean about "being tired."

Hrmmm... now that I'm feeling this loose, maybe I ought to share my stories sometime. Reveal a little intrigue from my first years working. Considering that, I think the word "burn-out" may apply.

[EFerrari]

10. I'm up for some intrigue

:)

[Writer]

11. So I get out of college, just made 22, and started this job...

at this hotsy-totsy major market television station. I was into ratings research. Enjoyed it quite a bit. I started working under these two women who hated each other. Let's call them Buffy and Duffy. So they each pulled me aside at one time or another to talk about the other behind her back. Caused quite a bit of tension, you know?

So enter one of the execs. Male. Let's call him Pee Wee. Began giving me his ear about my situation. He "understood." Then he began to flirt. And flirt he did. So along comes his former assistant, now working in a different department, who becomes quite jealous of the fact that Pee Wee's giving me attention. Let's call her Fifi. Apparently Pee Wee and Fifi were "very good friends" at one time or another. So Fifi spreads rumors about me - that I'm having affairs with people about the office, and certainly, with him. etc.

Back to Buffy and Duffy. Meanwhile, I'm moved out from under Buffy completely, promoted (whoopee) and am placed under Duffy. Duffy, it turns out, had been lying about Buffy the entire time and became an incredibly abusive boss. Suddenly I was doing all of her projects while she took the credit. I also noticed that, quite frankly, she didn't know what she was doing. This was vexing as I was hoping to learn. She immediately turned on me. Became very threatened by me, etc.

So what did 22 year-old me do? I went back to Pee Wee. Pee Wee was "supportive." And Pee Wee still flirted. Any pulling away from Pee Wee meant less attention, etc. He had me in a trap, it seemed. Then there was Fifi who was a further annoyance. Pee Wee caught on that Fifi was an annoyance and then the two of them began flirting with each other in front of me, doing whatever they could to humiliate me.

So I decided to go to HR about Pee Wee, anonymously, hoping to get advice. They immediately stamped it as sexual harrassment and turned it into a large affair. Pee Wee (again I remind you he's an exec in this company) continued into less sexual and more workplace abuses. Chastising me at meetings, etc. I decided to work on my relationship with Duffy (which hadn't improved) and continue.

Then Duffy decided to go to HR about me. She claimed that I was insubordinate. I of course didn't agree, but I could tell that the writing was on the wall. She even sat on my evaluation for weeks so I wouldn't get my raise. She was a narcissist who abused her authority and she abused me as her assistant.

So I was getting punched from all sides. No amount of conversations with HR helped, as they viewed me as a possible lawsuit threat. It was extremely unfair, and the impact on me physically was devastating.

What did I do? "Screw 'em," I said. "I'm going to New York!" So I did. I got a better job in NYC with the parent company. Within two years I was with another company in a managerial position. I was only 25 years-old.

So, there you have my saga. Ah, where are those violins? Anyway, a part of me wants to get back in there and recapture some of my lost years. I'm turning 30 next month.

Thanks for reading!

Writer.

[EFerrari]

12. 22. O my god. It' s like they see the fresh meat coming.

I have always had this "pulling my eyelashes" feeling when confronted with corporate b.s. It's such a waste of life.

You know what I did when I turned 30? I sat straight up in bed and said out loud to the Universe, "Finally! Now I can tell ANYBODY to F&CK OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

It was so good, too good. And gets better. That's a secret, so don't tell anyone or we'll both be in deep, deep trouble.

I think you have yourself a script there. Do it. :)

[gardenista]

13. Wow, it took me 'til I was 40 to have that epiphany!

Sure feels good, tho!

[gardenista]

14. You got caught in a toxic workplace.

Happens to lots of people, and you did the best thing, you got OUT! Good for you.

I agree that there's a great story in there. You've got the outline, send it in to a publisher who specializes in "chick lit".

Don't be insulted by the suggestion that you exploit the chick lit trend. It's hot, you're a writer, you've got a great story. Go for it.

[Writer]

15. Crap.

I am like a sports car in 5th gear, stuck, lurching at a light turning green.

All I need is for someone to release the brake.