My email box is buzzing this morning....

[whistle]

<snip>
CHILDREN AND THE CHURCH

A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his
cousin asked him,
"How many women can a man marry?"
"Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an answer
so quickly.
"How do you know that?"
"Easy," the little boy said. "All you have to do is add it up, like the
Bishop said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer."

After a church service on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced
to his mother,
"Mom, I've decided to become a minister When I grow up."
"That's okay with us, but what made you decide that?"
"Well," said the little boy, "I have to go to church on Sunday anyway,
and I figure it will be more fun to stand up and yell, than to sit and
listen.

A 6-year-old was overheard reciting the Lord's Prayer at a church
service:
"And forgive us our trash passes, as we forgive those who passed trash
against us."

A boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon. "How do you know
what to say?" he asked.
"Why, God tells me."
"Oh, then why do you keep crossing things out?"

A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on and on.
Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered, "Mommy, if we give
him the money now will he let us go?

After the christening of his baby brother in church, little Johnny sobbed
all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him three
times what was wrong.
Finally, Johnny replied, "That priest said he wanted us brought up in a
Christian home,and I want to stay with you guys!"

Terri asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of their favorite
Bible stories. She was puzzled by Kyle's picture, which showed four
people on an airplane, so she asked him which story it was meant to
represent. The Flight to Egypt, was his reply.
Pointing at each figure, Ms. Terri said, "That must be Mary, Joseph, and
Baby Jesus.
But who's the fourth person?"
"Oh, that's Pontius - the pilot.

The Sunday School Teacher asked, "Now, Johnny, tell me frankly do you say
prayers before eating?"
"No sir," little Johnny replied, "I don't have to. My Mom is a good
cook."

A college drama group presented a play in which one character would stand
on a trap door and announce, "I descend into hell!" A stagehand below
would then pull a rope, the trapdoor would spring, and the actor would
drop from view.
The play was well received. When the actor playing the part became ill,
another actor who was quite overweight took his place. When the new actor
announced, "I descend into hell!" the stagehand pulled the rope, and the
actor began his plunge, but became hopelessly stuck. No amount of tugging
on the rope could make him descend.
One student in the balcony jumped up and yelled: "Hallelujah! Hell is
full!"

Pastor Dave Charlton tells us, "After a worship service at First Baptist
Church in Newcastle, Kentucky, a mother with a fidgety seven-year old boy
told me how she finally got her son to sit still and be quiet. About
halfway through the sermon, she leaned over and whispered,'If you don't
be quiet, Pastor Charlton is going to lose his place and will have to
start his sermon all over again!'
It worked."

This is the best one .. A little girl was sitting on her grandfather's
lap as he read her a bedtime story. From time to time, she would take her
eyes off the book and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek. She was
alternately stroking her own cheek, then his again. Finally she spoke up,
"Grandpa, did God make you?"
"Yes, sweetheart," he answered, "God made me a long time ago."
"Oh," she paused, "Grandpa, did God make me too?"
"Yes, indeed, honey," he said, "God made you just a little while ago."
Touching and feeling their respective faces again, she observed, "God's getting better
at it, isn't he?"

Have a great day... :hi:

[Rainbowreflect]

1. Thanks for the laugh.

I had to send those on to my brother who is a minister.

[trof]

2. Round John

A couple of weeks before Christmas, the Sunday school class of third graders drew pictures of the nativity scene.

One little boy had done a pretty fair job, but had one unidentifiable figure in his drawing.
"And who is that?" asked the teacher.
"That's Round John."
"I don't understand. Who is Round John?"
"You know. Round John Virgin, Mother, And Child?"