I need all the advice I can get

[leftofthedial]

I am embarking on being single for the first time since (gulp!) 1976.

I have no idea how to do this. No clue at all.

Any words of wisdom from all you gorgeous, debonair, single, happy DUers. I know all of you have amazing social lives and love lives. How does one do it?

[Neoma]

1. Flirt.

I guess.
:hide:

[leftofthedial]

2. I'm not sure I even know how to do that right.

I guess practicing will be fun though.

Say, what's your sign?

(See how long it's been? LOL)

[autorank]

3. Well pardner,

A friend of mine said (when he was 48): "Auto, If you've got a full head of hair, if you can look down and see your toes when standing up, and if you're ambulatory, the oopportunities are endless." This guy was real busy and with some very nice women.

There is a huge, let's call it secondary market, out there. It's all about what your'e willing to do (this is from active singles BTW). They meet at all the normal places but also through this crazy internet thing. See a pic, call someone, meet them at Starbucks and nobody loses if you bag out. Single women want to be shown respect and that goes a long way.

Go for it. Good luck.

[leftofthedial]

4. In my line of work, I meet LOTS of single women

and married women who are looking

They seem to be interested.

It's just weird to be "in the market" after having been monogamous for so long.

I know the plumbing works, but the wiring maybe needs a little work.

Thanks for the encouragement.

[autorank]

6. Like riding a bike...except there's no kick-stand.

As they say in marketing, "It's all about positioning."

Good luck, but you won't need it!

[Madrone]

5. I don't!

But then, I'm weird. 32, never married, no kids.

I think I gave up. If I like them - they don't know I exist. If I don't like them - they think they love me like they've never loved anyone before.

LOL

I don't think you want advice from me! ;)

[leftofthedial]

7. maybe what doesn't work for you would work for me

or else you could tell me what NOT to do.

You should keep going for it. Life's too short not to be sharing good times with someone.

[Madrone]

8. Thing is ...

I'm as cool with being alone as I would be with being in the perfect relationship. Either way is good. I am NOT cool with being in a relationship that brings bullshit along with it. Any amount of bullshit.

Alone is it, for now. :)


As for what NOT to do... As a female, some of my turnoffs are:

Desperation

Phoniness

Neediness

Co-dependence

Passive Aggressiveness

Machismo

Trying too hard

Being republican is a pretty big turnoff - but that's most certainly not a problem for you, since you're a member here.

[leftofthedial]

11. yeah, I'm fed up with bullshit

I'm looking forward to just having some fun for a couple of years.

Good luck to you.

[Madrone]

14. The problem with having "fun" for a couple of years...

Is you run a high risk of your fun ending sooner than you'd like.

If you want to play the field, have some casual encounters, etc, you've got to worry about someone feeling more deeply for you than you do for them in return, and the resulting drama.

Be careful.

You could be one of the lucky ones though, and run into your perfect mate tomorrow. Good luck to you too!

[leftofthedial]

16. I'm not likely to become a raging slut

I've had a couple of experiences the past few years as my marriage was failing of women friends who clearly wanted more than I could give. (Despite our troubles, I gave my marriage the best shot I could. I'm loyal to a fault.)

It's hard to find someone with matching expectations, I suppose.

Despite my persona here at DU, I'm the epitome of the sensitive, empathetic guy. I'd hate to hurt anyone.

[Madrone]

17. LOL! I'm sorry - I didn't mean to imply I thought you would.

;)

Yes, the expectations thing is a bitch.

for clarification:

I didn't mean you'd want to be a slut and a heartbreaker - it was just a reminder about how we women can be - with expectations. Since we both agree on disliking that bullshit, it was just a friendly reminder and warning. :hi:

[Heidi]

9. Learn how to enjoy being alone.

Independent men who can take care of their own emotional, spiritual and physical needs are very attractive to women who value the same qualities in themselves.

You'll do fine out there, leftofdial. :hi:

[leftofthedial]

12. thanks Heidi!

I'm pretty self-reliant. :hi: backatcha

[Heidi]

15. Cool.

Then you're ahead of most people re-entering "the dating world." Take good care of _you_.

[JohnnyCougar]

10. Just find out who you are by yourself.

That is the most valuable gift in life!!!

[leftofthedial]

13. that will be the text of my adventure for the foreseeable future

For a long, long time, I've defined myself according to other people's expectations of me . . . husband, father (still the best "me" I've ever known), employee, boss.

I'm starting to like myself without anyone else's expectations getting in the way.

great words of wisdom!

[valis]

18. Get a pet! Singles have much shorter lifespans without pets.

basic stats..