Why is it that when people address you as "friend" on DU....

[tx_dem41]

...they almost always mean the opposite?

I've always noticed that form of address used in posts that are intended to rebuke the addressee.

All it gives me is the creeps.

[Bunny]

1. Maybe they're Quakers?

:shrug:

[MissB]

2. Okay, friend.

;)

[salin]

4. it was so tempting

am refraining (since you did it for me)

Once stated my irritation with those who make a statement and end it with 'nuff said. As it sounded snotty and shut off all further conversation. I can not tell you how long folks responded to me with 'nuff said (and still sometimes do).

To topic, though, I sometimes use the term 'friend', to underline that while there might be disagreement on a particular point, it doesn't change the underscoring respect I feel for the person with whom I am conversing.

[tx_dem41]

16. That's an explanation that I had not thought of. Thanks. n/t

[salin]

17. I don't know the thread to which you are referring

but it could be that in the tenseness of an argument - the two parties are straining to keep remembering that aside from this particular argument they are friends... think of it as if when they were in person it might be said with clenched teeth- not to denote insult -but because the passions are so high at the moment that it is hard to restrain not getting personal... hence the use of the term, even when strained.

[petronius]

19. "'nuff said" is pretty lame

although personally I think "mm 'kay" is even lamer (especially in conjunction with an eye-roll smiley).

[salin]

20. first time I have seen that one

yep that would bug me even more - at least the nuff said is usually following some statement that at least acknowledges the previous poster's post.

[Droopy]

3. Well, friend

I can't say that I've noticed that. Whenever I use the word 'friend' I mean it in the literal sense.

[last_texas_dem]

5. I've never had that happen on here

At least that I can remember. However, there was a right-winger who used to call me that as we sparred back and forth via letters to the editor in the local newspaper. That always got on my nerves; it just seemed so snarky and sarcastic. I guess I'd feel the same way if somebody on DU started doing that for the same purpose.

[Cooley Hurd]

6. "Friend" status takes a bit longer to establish than the length of time...

...it takes to just say it.

We've had our differences, long since resolved, but if I call you 'friend,' I mean it.:thumbsup:

[tx_dem41]

9. Thanks, Cooley....

...that means a lot to me.

I brought it up because I was just reading a thread in GD, where "friend" was used a lot, always disrespectfully.

[undeterred]

7. With all due respect

Whenever you hear that said, you know that whatever comes next won't be too respectful!

[tx_dem41]

11. Oh, I agree....

At least when they put it in the Subject Title, you have a warning.

[tx_dem41]

8. Ahhh....my initiation into DU Lounge....

and it doesn't disappoint! :)

How come I have a feeling I've made a whole bunch of new "friends"?

LOL...thanks for the laugh.

[Left Is Write]

10. Listen, pal, that's just the way it is.

;)

[tx_dem41]

13. Yep...I guess so, buddy!

:)

[Ready4Change]

12. I've noticed that in real life, too.

Sets me on edge, and gets me looking for whatever con they are attempting to pull.

I've noticed another similar behavior. People who end statements inconversations with Peace, Love, or something like "Praise Jesus."

What they are really saying is " If you dare disagree with me, I've framed this so that YOU look like an aggressive jerk." Or, in other words, Shut up.

[tx_dem41]

14. I agree. I didn't mean to imply it was a "DU-only" thing. n/t

[Abelman]

15. I only use the word "friend"

when I mean "friend." I don't like the sarcastic usage much at all.

[Longgrain]

18. I seriously don't see where you are coming from?

If I call someone a friend, I usually mean it.

So does that make me a creep?

[tx_dem41]

21. Not at all....

I guess I would have to point out examples of it being used (obviously more often in GD and GD-P than DU Lounge) in the context I am attempting to describe. I just want to be accused of "calling out" a specific poster.

[Midlodemocrat]

22. I hadn't noticed that, actually.

However, if the person puts 'asshat' in the subject line, I don't think it is going to end well.

Just my opinion.

[tx_dem41]

24. And a great opinion, at that!

:)

[leftofthedial]

23. listen pal

when I call you buddy, it means whatever I want it to mean

;-)