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progressivebydesign Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-27-03 12:06 AM
Original message
Question for guys.. HELP!!!
Okay. I'm trying to figure this out, and.. well.. it's not something I can ask my husband about.

I'm 44. There appears to be an employee at a biz that I visit often, that has got a thing for me. He started flirting with me last month.. on my 44th birthday. At first I thought it was a joke, then I realized that he pretended he'd never seen me before when I came in there with my husband. His flirtations are getting bolder. It's pretty funny.

Oh, and he's pretty hot. My 20 year old stepdaughter told me that he is. And.. he's 25!!! So. What in the HELL does a 25 year old guy want with a married 44 year old woman. Okay, SEX, I'm sure. But.. what goes through a guy's mind when he's doing something so hopeless. He guessed tonight that I was around 32, and who was I to correct him? Obviously, I'm not running off with the young pup, but I'm totally curious as to what makes a guy that age tick.

Caliphoto.
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La_Serpiente Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-27-03 12:16 AM
Original message
Hmmm
I've never experienced anything like this. Then again, I am a gay man.

Well...it depends...is he respectful of you? If so, maybe he'll back off and restrain himself. However, he might still want to be friends with you.

If he's a really horny guy (you can usually tell this by the way he flirts) then he's horny. Maybe he still has his eye on you. ;-)

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hussar Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-27-03 12:16 AM
Response to Original message
1. He likes older women like I do
You must be giving off sort of signal unbeknown to you, its a woman thing can't explain, think I'd better go to bed
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BlueJazz Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-27-03 12:23 AM
Response to Original message
2. Maybe you're just one Hot lookin' Mama!
:)
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OffWithTheirHeads Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-27-03 12:33 AM
Response to Original message
3. You know the drill
God gave us two brains and only enough blood to operate one at a time.

8 to 80, if your hot your hot. Just be flattered and enjoy.
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Booberdawg Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-27-03 12:42 AM
Response to Reply #3
6. That's two heads, and one of them doesn't have a brain.
;-)

Actually I think the saying is that God gave men a brain and a penis and only enough blood to operated one at a time.
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Fuzz Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-27-03 12:34 AM
Response to Original message
4. What makes a guy that age tick?
Seriously? C'mon. You know the answer to that question!

Testosterone and your obvious sexual magnetism!

:think:

:)
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corarose Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-27-03 12:39 AM
Response to Original message
5. Hey, I am a couple years younger then you are
I have boys coming up to me at Culinary College and I don't know how to deal with them.

I had one guy sit next to me in all of the classes that I had with him. He got touchy feely and I told him that my teeth were false and that still didn't drive him away.

What is up with this younger guys anyways?

Take it as a compliment.
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progressivebydesign Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-27-03 01:37 AM
Response to Original message
7. Hmmm.. a bushel of things to ponder.
1) Perhaps I am hot?? I have this Roseanna Arquette lookalike thing going on.. have for years.

2) ACK! I'm giving off signals???

3) I'll just enjoy it. Harmless fun, right?

4) Sex is what makes guys tick.. that's it pretty much. I had hoped for something more profound.

Thanks for the tips. Too funny.. now go to sleep.
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Barad Simith Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-27-03 01:45 AM
Response to Original message
8. The "HELP!!!" in your subject line...
...leads me to believe there's more to your question than merely wanting to know what makes guys tick.

Run from this situation. Cut the conversations short when he starts flirting. If you have to, don't visit that business without your husband.

Because when it all goes to hell, you'll have nothing to console yourself with, other than the knowledge that you brought the pain on yourself by failing to do the right thing. And that's not much consolation.

My advise is unsolicited, I know. But in case you're even a little bit tempted by this guy, please take this unsolicited advice from someone who failed to do the right thing, and caused himself severe, indescribable pain because of it.
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progressivebydesign Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-27-03 11:50 AM
Response to Reply #8
9. Thank you RegularBrad.
You did read into that post correctly. I'm a bit flummoxed by the whole situation. I've seen too many lives blown apart by what started as an innocent flirtation. If I stop going there completely, that'll be a bit wierd. I have made a plan to only go with the hubby, or take the stepdaughters with me. My goal lately is to difuse the situation by removing the flirtatious nature of the conversation... have it be more of a joke, if that makes sense. Until he can see that there is no opportunity there. I have been having this runaway train feeling lately about this.. as though something is looming ahead. I'm avoiding that light at the end of the tunnel, which is another train barreling down on me. Thank you for your wisdom.
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Guaranteed Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-27-03 01:11 PM
Response to Reply #9
13. Yup
Cut it off at the knees. Wouldn't suggest that you try to "make a joke of it" either. I understand you're enjoying being oggled by a younger guy, but you gotta really run from this.
Another way of putting it is this: The more you don't want to "cut off" what is happening, the more you really need to do it. If you see yourself resisting the idea, do it swiftly and decisively.
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qwertyMike Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-27-03 11:52 AM
Response to Original message
10. Signals
Edited on Mon Oct-27-03 11:53 AM by qwertyMike
He's responing to signals.
Takes two to flirt.

Phereonomoemeneommeneooomomenreornrmees or however ya spellit

Sniff

HOTTEST woman I ever dated was 48.
51 when we finished with eachother.
never recovered :)
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Aristus Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-27-03 11:57 AM
Response to Original message
11. I've been on the other end of that situation, Caliphoto.
Edited on Mon Oct-27-03 11:58 AM by Aristus
I've had it bad for older women for YEARS! There was this one woman, a customer at the store where I worked for a while. I was totally hot for her. She was about ten years older than me, and had a sixteen year old daughter. This woman was hot! Hot, hot, HOT! Younger women don't do a thing for me. I'll take Susan Sullivan over Britney Spears any day of the week and twice on Sunday. This woman just exuded sex out of every pore. I'd get weak in the knees just watching her pass by. Well, my flirtation was successful. We got it on and made out a couple of times. But I think my situation in life at the time turned her away. She found someone else. And so did I. My wife is eight years older than me, and neither of us could be happier with the arrangement.

Since you're already married, better let the guy know his advances aren't welcome; even if they are! I'll just bet you're a beautiful, sexy woman. 44 is mind-bogglingly good for a woman. Don't believe what Hollywood says. My wife is 43. :-)

Edit: spelling
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KinkyDem Donating Member (748 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-27-03 12:25 PM
Response to Original message
12. Advice from the kinky one ...
Tell your husband.

Invite this boy home.

Rock his world.

If everyone agrees it could be a wonderfull thing.

Just a thought.

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geniph Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-27-03 01:44 PM
Response to Reply #12
17. I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought of that approach
that was my first reaction as well, "oh boy, party time!" But then, my husband likes it when that happens.
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hippiechick Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-27-03 01:21 PM
Response to Original message
14. run as fast and as far as you can !!
....take it from a 37 yo who messed with that fire not too long ago.
i still smell like singed cat fur from the emotional spankin' this hot 22 year old put on me.

they want the sex and they'll tell ya you're the best and hottest and most wonderful thing since ice cream, but all it is, is a rite of passage for them.

take care of yourself ...

:hippie:
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jmm Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-27-03 01:27 PM
Response to Original message
15. Not a guy but
it's ok to be flattered by the attention just make it clear that nothing will ever happen between the two of you. Every time he starts flirting remind him of your husband. If he compliments your hair style say that your husband loves it too, if he invites offers to take you somewhere say yes then ask when he's picking you and your husband up, etc. Some men will pick up anything and call it a sign so just be extra careful in letting him know that you're not interested.

Some people just love to flirt and even though he may be coming on strong that doesn't mean he really beleives anything will happen between the two of you. There's one guy at my job who recently invited me to Florida. Yeah it may seem like he wants me and is very bold but I know two other women he's also invited.
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BiggJawn Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Oct-27-03 01:33 PM
Response to Original message
16. Had 40-year-olds when I was 20, 56 at 40....
Had a 36 y-o at 40, too, and she was a HUGE dissappointment!

Maybe he just likes older women?
Nothing wrong with that!
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