I just got a bible tract pushed through my door

[gollygee]

I was sitting here and thought I heard the cat scratching at the door, but it was a bible tract being pushed around the edge of the door. I need new weatherstripping or something. Or maybe a security door.

It says I'm going to Hell.

how are you today? :hi:

[ewagner]

1. Going to hell huh?

Well, the way I figure it, if the fundies are right, we'll be so busy shaking hands we won't even notice the heat.... :evilgrin:

[gollygee]

9. No A/C in hell I suppose

Oh well. I hope it's a dry heat.

[tk2kewl]

2. Hell-bound and happy, here!

:evilgrin:

[gollygee]

13. There are a lot of us

I guess someone has to go or Ghandi and all those other heathens will be lonely. Let's see . . . do I want to hang out with Ghandi or Pat Robertson? Oh, decisions decisions.

[demnan]

3. Hey, I'll have a gin and tonic ready for ya'

you have one ready for me!

[gollygee]

10. I'll be ready

if the gin doesn't catch fire!

[BattyDem]

4. Pack some sunscreen and enjoy the trip!

:hi:

The rest of us will be there soon. :evilgrin:

[gollygee]

7. Sunscreen? You must be reading GD :D

LOL

[BattyDem]

12. Why ... did somebody already say that? LOL!

Oh damn ... I must be spending too much time here, again. :crazy:

[gollygee]

27. Apparently sunscreen is a sin too

or it causes more cancer than the sun

or something like that

[jswordy]

5. Wash the area with Chlorox immediately.

See you in hell...I'm bringing the marshmellows!

:rofl:

[gollygee]

11. bleach the door

good idea :D

I saved the bible tract for my husband. I thought he might like a bit of comedy after the long work week.

[jswordy]

14. Then he will be roasting marshmellows too? Hafta bring more!

:rofl:

Note to self: Stop by store on way to Hell.

[BikeWriter]

6. Don't bother to kiss your ass goodbye yet. The fundies have been...

wrong about a lot of things lately.

[gollygee]

15. The fundies, wrong?

really? But the bible tells them so!

[BikeWriter]

34. ROFLMFAO!

[jswordy]

17. Just wondering Bob: Can anyone actually DO THAT??? n/t

[BikeWriter]

36. I've got pictures of it here somewhere...

[GreenPartyVoter]

8. Get finger prints and run it through AFIS

[gollygee]

16. ooh finger prints

I hadn't thought of that.

[joneschick]

18. you will share which particular sin

you're being selected for won't you? Inquiring minds.....

[gollygee]

20. I think everyone in the neighborhood got them?

Hmm I assumed that. Actually it could just be me since I think everyone else in my neighborhood goes to church. We're the token heathens here.

It says that God doesn't love me - he only loves those who believe in him. That explained a lot to me.

[Aiptasia]

19. hellerrific! How are you?

Christans aren't supposed to judge others anyway. Judging others is a hell worthy offense, so we'll see um there.

[gollygee]

21. It says the day of judgement is near so someone is judging others

it also says that I have to pray to god to help me get an intense hatred for my sins. My sins are sending me to hell.

[joneschick]

23. mine take me out for drinks and a movie.

maybe you SHOULD repent. Or try some new ones. yup, that's what I would do.

[gollygee]

25. It's a lot harder to sin since I got married

I used to do it all the time before that.

I'll have to swear more or something. Maybe teach my daughter to swear. I wish I knew what all 10 commandments were so I could find some new sins.

:D

[jobycom]

22. With this group freedom means slavery, war means peace

I think we can assume the same about Hell.

I figure, either way it works for me. Either Falwell and Graham are right, and I'll be in Hell, or they are wrong, and they'll be in Hell. Either way I want to wind up in the opposite place from them.

If God is a Fundie, I sure don't want to live in Heaven.

[gollygee]

29. But it says in the bible . . .

uh . . .

Actually I have no idea what it says in teh bible. Something about heaven being good I think.

:D

[jobycom]

32. I've read the book

Heaven didn't sound that nice, unless you like mansions.

Hell, too, is way overhyped. It's more a pit of darkness. I'm a night person, anyway.

Guess I should mention for disclaimer that I'm an atheist and don't believe in either, but I have fun talking about them.

[Mutley]

24. At this point

I'm pretty sure I'd prefer hell....

[gollygee]

30. I'll see you there!

We've got a party going here!

[Mutley]

31. Woo Hoo!

[yellowcanine]

26. If it is a Jack Chick tract, hang on to it. There are people who collect

those and it might be worth big bucks in about 25 years.

[gollygee]

28. No, I was hoping

it was a really boring one with no pictures, just a lot of talk about hell and judgement day.

*sigh* I can't even get the good bible tracts.

[sinkingfeeling]

33. Push it back!!

[CanuckAmok]

35. Maybe it's from a weatherstripping/siding company.

Does it say "if you can read this tract, your home is poorly insulated, but that's okay, because hell is nice and warm"?