Hey A-Schwarzenegger, how's Oscar?

[LynneSin]

About a year ago you started a thread about an animal you inherited from a late relative but we weren't sure what it was you inherited and I think there was an update that Oscar might even be pregnant.

Oscar was always a favorite of the lounge - how is he (or she) doing?

Here's the original thread

The Story of Oscar

[Maddy McCall]

1. When DU was considering new tee shirts, we should have...

requested an Oscar tee.

[RandomKoolzip]

2. Man, I miss Oscar.

I think I became addicted to DU after reading the Oscar Chronicles.

[blondeatlast]

3. We are definitely due for an update.

I was just thinking about Oscar the other day.

[MuseRider]

4. Every now and then

I go to my bookmarks and read that thread and the one about what you should not say while viewing the Passion. Two very good DU threads to perk you up when you are down.

I would love to hear more about Oscar.

Edit to add link to Passion thread

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=818212

[ronnykmarshall]

8. You evil bastard!!

I'm taking a break from transcribing minutes from a BORING meeting and now I'm gonna have to read that one too!

[MuseRider]

13. LOL

I may be way too late but that is not a good thread to read in an office if they would get mad at you for laughing and not doing your work. It is WAY too funny. :rofl:

BTW, I am an evil bitch. Just sos ya know. :hi:

[myrna minx]

5. O Oscar, my Oscar.

:-) That is my favorite thread ever.

[LynneSin]

6. I can't believe people have forgotten Oscar already1

:cry:

[ronnykmarshall]

10. I am loving reading this!

I don't why I didn't read this last year.

OSCAR RULES!!

[ronnykmarshall]

7. I never got into the hole Oscar thread ....

but for bring it up ..... you owe me a new monitor.

That is some funny shit!

[A-Schwarzenegger]

9. Yes the mixed animal formerly known as Oscar

gave birth to a somewhat of a super litter. I do
not know how many. He has a pouch full of squirming
infant something or others. One popped its head out and it
looked like a small red kumquat with sort of light blue
fuzz and closed eye-like bumps on its forehead. It looks
like thirty or so in there to me. It looks like a big golden furry
purse full of squirming kumquats. They make a very faint sort
of beeping sound like a bunch of very small cars. He won't let
me near him/them of course, and has taken to refusing to answer
when I call him Oscar. I have tried a bunch of other names of
both sexes but nothing works so far. A couple times he
started to respond, but stopped, as if to give me a hint
that I was close. Plus, somewhere he got (stole) a cell phone that
the ringer is a recording of Dylan Thomas reading "Fern Hill."
Try getting woked up a few times a night to the Welch bard
blaring, "Now as I was young and easy under the apple boughs
about the lilting house and happy as the grass was green."
I tried to take it away from him but he bared one row of his
mouth and kind of chuckled or something. So I just asked him
to turn it down a little and he thought about it and shrugged
and did. He doesnt talk into it but he listens and makes faces
for hours at a time. Other than that, nothing new.

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

11. Hmmm..who got Oscar knocked up?

[A-Schwarzenegger]

12. God only knows, but I will say this.

About the time it happened, Oscar had been missing for
several weeks. I didnn't think anything of it because that's
what he does and turns up with a new fur color or stolen
object or strange friend sooner or later. But this one
time I awaked one night to the sound of a hammering out
in the yard. I looked out and Oscar was sitting there by the
garbage cans with his tail waging and banging into the garbage
cans and make them bang into one another every time. It was
like the Blue Men were in my yard. So I went down there and Oscar
was just stariung into the sky with a kind of Sylvester
Stallone glaze on his eyes. I looked up to see what he was
looking at and caiught what I thought was the tail end of
a meteorite going away from the earth. I nudged him with my
foot and he fell over like a statue for a minute and then
snapped out of it and ran around and went up and slept for
four days. But the next morning I found a trapezoid shape
burned patch in the weeds by the garbage cans, and a small
type of some object that looked like a silver inlaid bobsled
the size of a Milky Way bar that weighed about twelve pounds.
I gave it to Fred Dorcht this amateur geneologist that I
know to find out what it was and when I asked him about
later it he said he lost it. The only thing on an instinct
is I went on e-bay and found out he had sold it for fifty
dollars and got drugs. I told him what's going on. And then
a few weeks later Oscar begun to swole and chewed a hole in the
wall and made a nest of stuff from the compost heap.

[salin]

14. how is his career as obscure

but odd artist, going?

[A-Schwarzenegger]

15. Where is that post? I forgot what I reported.

[salin]

17. not sure where the thread is, but

he had found a friend, a young man, that only he could really see clearly - and that the friend had taught him how to tie up a series of tarps, and then do a strange dance with paint brushes - to create unique art pieces. It seems that each piece takes a while to create - and that the space involved in the process was a tad problematic, and that a market had not yet been found for these 'creations' - but that you had a sense that somewhere - there might be an avenue to make some money out of this strange endeavor.

[A-Schwarzenegger]

18. Here. (Yes, I am always trying to find a way to make a buck off him

but only to pay for his groceries that he goes
through like a Hoover. Here on the art:
http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=3255315#3255965

[maveric]

19. Get him a job as the new San Diego Padres mascot!

I heard that he's a Friar fan.

[A-Schwarzenegger]

24. He's as moody as a autumn ocean.

I don't think that would work as a mascot. You
have to be peppy all the time to be a mascot.
Plus I have to keep him away from ball park franks.
The old retired amateur scientist couple that lives in
the house on the corner with the crumbling gables was barbecuing
and left out a tub of ball park franks to soak in brine
water and he ate them and bloated so bad he couldn't get
on the bus for when we went for our ride up to the observatory
with the banjo club. He got stuck in the door and everybody
had to use the back door of the bus until he sweated off
the franks on the way home. You don't want him as a mascot.
He is as unpredictable as the path of a lightning both, plus
laconic.

[salin]

21. You could turn his artwork into car ribbons

and make a mint.

Do any of the oscar offspring show artistic tendencies? You may be coexisting with a virtual gold mine...

[A-Schwarzenegger]

27. More shall be revealed.

At the moment they are as artistic as transparent red
potatoes with legs like grapes with tiny needle sharp claws.
All they can do is writh around when they get out of the pouch.
You could dip them in paint and let them wiggle around on
a canvas and hope for something but it probably wouldn't
be good for them yet, plus you would loose digits messing
with any of them while the mather Oscar is around. I would
love to swipe one for a while and study it close and see
what I could see through the transparent skin but he keeps
count of them and never sleeps.

[LynneSin]

20. So I'm curious, is it possible to adopt any of Oscar's offspring?

I mean, do you think an Oscar Jr could be made to live indoors in a nice environment?

[A-Schwarzenegger]

22. It would not be a safe bet to think they could be made

to do anything, if Oscar is any indicator.
And reverse psychology doesn't work either,
because I tried it. He just smirks and scratches his
self. But as for the ofspring, they are only like
little red potatoes at the moment. They flee the
pouch and roll north on the floor because of the slight
house tilt until they bonk against the wall or he notices
and grabs them first and dumps them back in the pouch.
He's always counting them and I like to ask him
questions like, "Who were you talking to on the cell?"
so he loses count and raises a laconic eyebrow
and has to start counting over.
Like him you can't tell what end of them is front or
back at times. Their skin is transparent for now so
you can see inside them at least while they are
rolling. I.E. they are not ready to be adopted or
rented or as the case may be. But when the time comes
of course I will be open to all offers as long as my costs
get covered plus a little little.

[LynneSin]

28. Oh hell, I'd pay money to adopt one but the bigger question is

why no pictures? Is Oscar camera shy?

[A-Schwarzenegger]

29. Camera shy is not the words.

There is a part Lower Mali warrior in him that brings
fear of losing essence from photography. He can smell a
camera, film, the tourist's heart. See original thread.
Search: camera, photograph, no, believe. This subject
brought many to the brink of doubt where they hung without
photo. For some doubt is the path to perception. Others
see in the midst of the cloud of unknowing. But no, no
pictures, only words. He is like a mixed J.D. Salinger.

[ronnykmarshall]

16. I'm fucking hooked!

I can't believe some of the assholes screeching "lock this thread" and shit.

Fuck that!

Oscar's the bomb.

[yellowdogintexas]

23. I was just thinking about Oscar when the picture of the possum

popped up a while ago.

Nice to know Oscar is still out there.


Oscar is a real day brightener!!!!

[gardenista]

25. Don't you think that it's a bit unfair of Oscar to bear his mixed animal

(and possibly alien life force) children in a city? He is a creature of the woods, and no matter how much he shows off with cell phones and such, I think he does himself and his offspring a great dis-service by bringing them up in a non-woods environment. You uncle is probably rolling in his grave right now. Frankly, I'm somewhat disappointed in Oscar, and I also kind of wonder about how you're enabling him to deny his heritage.

[A-Schwarzenegger]

26. I live in a village.

There are urban parts to it, because of poor planning,
such as cannon ball holes in the mayor's hut from the drunken
militia training going bad, but mostly no, it's quite rural and
backwards as can be. Hill folks abound, hayseeds flourish, and
bumpkins multiply in every nook in cranny. I don't know why you
come to think I live in a city per se. Anyway please I didn't ask
to inherit the little ruffian oddity don't forget. He could of
stayed in the woods and lived in the cabin where Uncle
Leonard passed, but he chose to willingly hop back in me and my
sister's Morris Minor and come here to dwell and seek his future.
Once he's rich and famous from his 10 per cent share of
whatever I make from Oscar Enterprises, then he can move
wherever he wants, which he could do now anyway because he
makes friends everywhere he goes, which I don't get because
he's gruff, laconic, omnimoody, stand-offish, smirksome,
irkish, peeveable, smelly, sarcastic, prone to stare, angst-ridden,
self-centered, gaseous, bellicose, secretive, temperamental,
unreliable, gaseous, and hard-to-read.

[gardenista]

42. My mistake. Still, I think a trip back to Uncle Leaonard's place

while the children are still small enough to absorb the woodsiness without the distractions of Lindsay Lohan would be a good idea.

You said gaseous twice.

[A-Schwarzenegger]

43. One nickname of his is Gaseous Glay.

You know I keep hearing about Lindsay Lohan but I wouldn't
know him if he walked in my shack, made himself a tuna sambwich,
and sat down and ate it while watching the mice scurry through
the tumbleweeds in my living room. If you're careful, you can
turn any room into a rural setting just by waiting.

[LynneSin]

30. So that's it - no one else loves Oscar except us few

:cry:

[A-Schwarzenegger]

31. Shhhh ...

He is our secret. Wonder is a lonely onlyness. Smmmmooooch!

[LynneSin]

32. But I just never get enough Oscar information

Did you ever get pictures of him! I want to see his babies!

[A-Schwarzenegger]

33. They're twice as big today as they were yesterday.

They're like shoe-sized. It's like a pouch full of squirming red Florsheims.

[LynneSin]

34. amazing

you think OScar would let you close enough to touch one

[Hugin]

35. Astounding!

Oscar sounds to be quite the character.

Busy busy busy.

[A-Schwarzenegger]

37. He's gotta sleep sometime.

I think he sleeps only when I sleep and
then wakes up right before I wake up. Although how
can you sleep at all with thirty expanding creature
shoe beings expanding in your pocket. They are starting
to open up their eyes, but it is hard to tell which is
their eyes because they have a number of false eyes all
over their face and fur to throw you off. I guess so
they can sleep and still look awake. They line up poking
their heads out along his pouch like living red shoes with
a lot of eyes that of only two blink. To be honest, it is a
little disconcerting. There must be some peacock in them.

[myrna minx]

36. I did love the "This American Life"

show on mixed animals. I laughed AND cried. Ira Glass really captured the poignancy of being a mixed animal in America.

[LynneSin]

38. I can't believe all you people forgot about Oscar

:cry:

[A-Schwarzenegger]

39. Oscar say don't push river.

I think most current Loungerinos weren't
even here back then. Nevertheless, Oscar is
always here, rain or shine, watching, listening,
scratching.

[brook]

41. I've often...

thought about Oscar and have missed his 'goings-ons'. His was the one thread I'd rush to check every day.

Thanks for bringing him back for a 'visit'. "Red florsheims", my, my.

[A-Schwarzenegger]

44. More like those red round-toed foam rubber slippers

but with potato eyes all over them.

[brook]

46. Eeeek!

It just so happens that Matilda Mugworth's Must Have Mercantile over at 67 Main Dirt Road was broken into on Wednesday afternoon - (Matilda had failed to open the store at the regular hour due to the fact that her alarm clock appears to have been confiscated by a cantankeroous ex-Canadian goose - but I digress...) and GUESS WHAT!? Well, of course, you know. 37and 1/2 pairs of fuzzy foam red slippers are missing!

edited to add:Just in from Deputy Rockworth (he's Matilda's 3rd cousin four x's removed - but that's another story) False alarm! Said shoes were recovered from a duck blind on Snicklagger Lake. Or a blind duck. I couldn't tell. There's a lt of static on that damned snooper radio thingie.

Anyway. Love to Oscar.

[Corgigal]

40. Have you ever tried to contact

someone from an Australian zoo? She (oscar-ette) sounds like some type of marsupial and if anyone in the world could understand a animal like your Oscar-ette they should. Of course if she's alien then you might have to contact NASA but they would attempt to take her from you.

Just a thought.

[A-Schwarzenegger]

45. Can marsupials have sex with themselves?

I wouldn't put anything past him. His charmingness
belies an amoral tawdryness. I would like to see NASA
try and take him. First of all, they would lock him in
the lab or so they think, and then turn around and there
he is out already and in the breakroom with his whole head
in their do-nuts bag.