elshiva
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Mon Jun-06-05 11:49 PM
Original message |
Internalized Homophobia stinks! |
AlienGirl
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Mon Jun-06-05 11:50 PM
Response to Original message |
1. Internalized prejudice of all kinds does. n/t |
elshiva
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Mon Jun-06-05 11:52 PM
Response to Reply #1 |
2. So true! Hi, AlienGirl! How are you? |
AlienGirl
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Mon Jun-06-05 11:55 PM
Response to Reply #2 |
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Kids will be here in a couple days, parents a day after that, graduate the day after THAT, just found out my credit score is 500 and almost jumped from the 11th floor because of it, the usual...
How's things by you?
Tucker
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elshiva
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Mon Jun-06-05 11:57 PM
Response to Reply #4 |
7. Kids? Who's Kids? Did you graduate, from where? |
AlienGirl
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Mon Jun-06-05 11:59 PM
Response to Reply #7 |
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Riley, age 9, and Lark, age 7. (Not their real names--like me they have pen names, lol.)
I graduate from The Evergreen State College on June 10 with a long-delayed BA! The bad news is then I need to start paying on my student loans, which means I need a Real Job, which is gonna be hard to find in this economy...
Tucker
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elshiva
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Tue Jun-07-05 12:01 AM
Response to Reply #9 |
10. Wow did not know about your kids... |
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Now I am unemployed too. It is hard... :cry:
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AlienGirl
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Tue Jun-07-05 12:06 AM
Response to Reply #10 |
13. The kids live with their dad during the school year (2000 miles away) |
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When their dad left I was extremely ill--recovering from cancer--and unable to care for them. So they live in his hometown, where he moved after leaving me. I get them for the summers. I have to pay for half their plane ticket, even though my ex makes ten times what I make. (Literally, almost exactly ten times.)
I'm afraid as they get older they'll hate coming to stay with me because I'm not upper-middle-class like their dad and I can't afford all the fun he can.
Tucker
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elshiva
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Tue Jun-07-05 03:23 PM
Response to Reply #13 |
evlbstrd
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Tue Jun-07-05 12:01 AM
Response to Reply #9 |
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And I think the credit score is stacked against us all.
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AlienGirl
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Tue Jun-07-05 12:10 AM
Response to Reply #11 |
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I am OK with never being able to own a house or buy a new car but lately *employers* are looking at credit score, and I fear mine will keep me from ever getting a good job. :scared:
Note to lurking you-know-whats: my ex ran up a good portion of that bad debt, and the rest was the result of cancer. I know, I should have "made better choices" like not marrying a douchebag and not getting cancer...but I was young and naieve...
Tucker
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evlbstrd
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Tue Jun-07-05 12:16 AM
Response to Reply #15 |
17. We all make bad choices, |
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but, unless you smoke like a chimney as I do, or some other optional risk factor, you did not choose cancer. I wish you and your children all of the best the universe can provide for you.
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AlienGirl
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Tue Jun-07-05 12:18 AM
Response to Reply #17 |
18. Eh, I was parodying the freeptards/CUmstains |
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I know my cancer was a one-in-a-million bit of bad genetic luck. Seriously, it was a kind I have no risk factors for, and the doctors wouldn't even biopsy the lesion till I *insisted* because I wasn't in a risk group...
Tucker
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evlbstrd
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Tue Jun-07-05 12:56 AM
Response to Reply #18 |
21. OK, I've fucked up twice so far. |
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Man, what's wrong with me?
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AlienGirl
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Tue Jun-07-05 01:36 AM
Response to Reply #21 |
Behind the Aegis
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Tue Jun-07-05 01:50 AM
Response to Reply #4 |
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Congratulations on your graduation!!! :party:
As for the credit thing, do the best that you can, it is all that anyone can do. There are a few tricks to getting it to jump quickly though, you can contact a FREE counseling service or call that odd woman, Suze Orman, who knows, it may help! :)
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LoZoccolo
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Mon Jun-06-05 11:55 PM
Response to Original message |
3. Which thread is this about? n/t |
AlienGirl
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Mon Jun-06-05 11:56 PM
Response to Reply #3 |
6. I'm not sure, I just replied... |
elshiva
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Mon Jun-06-05 11:58 PM
Response to Reply #3 |
8. I am a lesbian and internally homophobic that is it. |
Behind the Aegis
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Tue Jun-07-05 01:47 AM
Response to Reply #8 |
23. If not too personal... |
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Do you know why? Are you getting counseling? If that is too personal, don't divulge. But, I have seen a NUMBER of your posts and they are usually so caring and empathetic, so I was surprised to see this statement.
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elshiva
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Tue Jun-07-05 03:25 PM
Response to Reply #23 |
Behind the Aegis
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Tue Jun-07-05 03:32 PM
Response to Reply #29 |
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You are doing the right thing! Hopefully, your self-hate will end soon, and think of all that you will learn from the experience. Sometimes, we learn more from our set-backs and tragedies, than we learn from our accomplishments and triumphs!!!
You ever want to vent..PM me!!!!
:hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug: :hug:
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elshiva
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Tue Jun-07-05 03:39 PM
Response to Reply #30 |
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:hug: Find it hard to live myself being a total failure and all... :hug:
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Behind the Aegis
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Tue Jun-07-05 03:48 PM
Response to Reply #32 |
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I have been unemployed for 2 years now, as of this month. So, I COMPLETELY understand questioning one's self worth. When you start getting down, call someone, or come see us. It seems you have quite a few friends here that can remind you why you are not a total failure. If we can see you are not a failure, maybe we can help you see it!!! :)
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elshiva
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Tue Jun-07-05 03:51 PM
Response to Reply #34 |
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I've been unemployed for several months... :hug:
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Misunderestimator
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Tue Jun-07-05 03:36 PM
Response to Reply #8 |
31. May I ask why? And... how does it manifest itself? |
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Edited on Tue Jun-07-05 03:36 PM by Misunderestimator
Is it entirely personal, or does it extend to other gay people?
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elshiva
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Tue Jun-07-05 03:41 PM
Response to Reply #31 |
33. Just towards myself really. I support gay rights. |
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Gay is good, but I myself am awful.
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Misunderestimator
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Tue Jun-07-05 03:48 PM
Response to Reply #33 |
35. Is there a reason you think you are? |
elshiva
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Tue Jun-07-05 03:50 PM
Response to Reply #35 |
36. Why I am gay? Just attracted to other women.... |
Misunderestimator
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Tue Jun-07-05 03:50 PM
Response to Reply #36 |
37. No, I meant why you think you're "awful" |
elshiva
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Wed Jun-08-05 03:04 PM
Response to Reply #37 |
39. Just because I fell in love with a straight, single mom with two kids |
Misunderestimator
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Wed Jun-08-05 03:48 PM
Response to Reply #39 |
40. I still don't understand what that has to do with internal homophobia. |
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Unfortunate, yes... if she's straight. But why would that be any different than falling in love with ANYONE who doesn't reciprocate (man, woman, straight or gay)? Has nothing to do with being gay.
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Floogeldy
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Mon Jun-06-05 11:55 PM
Response to Original message |
evlbstrd
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Tue Jun-07-05 12:03 AM
Response to Original message |
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You got a self-hatin' thing goin' on? From what little I know of you, you shouldn't. Stop it! You are loved.
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AlienGirl
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Tue Jun-07-05 12:07 AM
Response to Reply #12 |
14. She is loved but she's a Dep like me |
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so of course there's some self-hate. It comes with the brain chemistry. The trick is not letting it matter. (Easier said than done.)
Tucker
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evlbstrd
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Tue Jun-07-05 12:11 AM
Response to Reply #14 |
16. No matter the "orientation," |
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it can be so very hard to find comfort in one's own skin. It took me into my late thirties. And now I'm almost fifty, and not quite there.
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AlienGirl
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Tue Jun-07-05 12:19 AM
Response to Reply #16 |
19. Dep(ression) isn't related to orientation, just to serotonin and dopamine. |
evlbstrd
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Tue Jun-07-05 12:55 AM
Response to Reply #19 |
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I'm thick as a brick sometimes. The thread title was a wee bit misleading in that regard. But my daughter has the same issues, and I really do feel for you.
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BlueIris
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Tue Jun-07-05 04:45 AM
Response to Original message |
25. Kick. It sucks snake nuts. n/t |
iconoclastic cat
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Tue Jun-07-05 05:43 AM
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Orsino
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Tue Jun-07-05 06:30 AM
Response to Original message |
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...I have to applaud anyone who keeps that sh-t to himself.
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Sun May 05th 2024, 05:13 PM
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