Having asperger's sucks.

[Deja Q]

In this bullshit "society" anyway.

I don't even know how to fight injustices bestowed upon me.

[GreenPartyVoter]

1. :^(

[stellanoir]

2. Can you tell me a little more about it beyond it sucking?

I'm sort of seeing a dude who thinks he has it. His daughter definitely does but he was adopted so has no clue as to his genetic roots.

His behavior varies wildly. At least it does with me. Any insights would be welcomed.

[Deja Q]

5. Aspergers? I will answer the best I can.

It can be seen in children in the manifestations of social isolation or eccentric behavior. The social isolation being a result of the odd behavior, which is either the person aggrevating other kids and/or other kids seeing that the asperger's person is "different" and taunt/ridicule/insult/assault/molest/whatever him in an effort to get him to respond.

People with aspergers often have high IQs. However, their emotional quotient is low. They may not look at people eye-to-eye or have to learn to do so and then when they do look it's an overbearing stare.

People w/aspergers have trouble with "critical thinking". They can see the parts of the puzzle but not be able to put it together. Or see the whole puzzle but don't understand the pieces. Or like a TV show, they can be zonked by the plot yet memorize the entire cast and crew and other shows they've worked on. (or memorizing phone directories, for example.)

People w/aspergers also have difficulty relating to people. They don't understand. This is also why they often speak of themselves. It's not always self-absorbtion/ego, but they do not know how to interact or relate. That's a big difference many don't understand. I didn't...

We are also often misdiagnosed with schizophrenia, schizoaffective, schizotypal, or other related disorders.

We often don't have interests that our age-related peers have. Our interests are not age-appropriate.

We have have odd fixations on something for no reason.

We often have a narrow range of interests.

We can be clumsy and awkward in terms of motor behavior and verbal articulation. (and sometimes writing as well; I often end up going tangential on something or missing the point of what I am saying. Which leads to:

Aspies often have ADD or related disorders.

We have rituals or ways of doing things that would seem bizarre to regular people. Our rituals are ones we strongly 'adhere' to.

We are far more sensitive to change than regular people.

We have stereotyped and repetitive mannerisms. (e.g. flapping/waving one's hands when talking. )

We don't volunteer things of interests to people (usually as children, though by adults and depending on life events this can change to an extent. I can for some people that I know VERY VERY well but that's 2 people, and I've only just opened up to my Aunt and I still have troubles trying to be open or share things/ideas/etc.)

Lack of social and emotional reciprocity. We act as if we don't understand or don't care. I can't speak for all, but I don't understand. I sure as hell want to, but don't know how.

We are isolated, don't make friends easily, can't keep them easily. We are alone, we don't always want to be alone. Many of us find ways to make being alone enjoyable but it can be a difficult struggle.

We also misread others' emotions. I've never understood why dad got mad... Or anyone else for that matter. I never knew what I did, or even knew that I did it. Not consciously!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Problems understanding consequences is another issue. It goes back to critical thinking. amongst other things. I for one can't fathom the future, even if I remember past events. So I'm still surprised when something happens even though something much related happened a couple days back. Sometimes we can fathom things out but (depending on the person) we're slow in that area. (so I won't become a lawyer any time soon!)

These issues can affect a person in adulthood in terms of friendships, relationships, careers/work/to-get-money-so-we-can-frigging-survive.

Worst of all, because normal people don't understand us, we get belittled or abused or misdiagnosed.



Even when you tell a counselor/psych your life history, they may or may not readily discount it. The person's past is damn well important. Schizo-whatever starts with adulthood and many psychs will summarily discount the person's childhood. This happened to me MANY times. (meanwhile, their drugs did nothing for me. D-U-fucking-H. :grr: Couldn't they figure it out after 3 years? Nope.) So those people, should they discount even one attosecond of your life and make their own quick conclusions, drop 'em or report them to their boss if you're so inclined. (I didn't report anybody, though one person was such an obvious quack... but I digress. My new counselor had told me, much to my surprise, she was going to talk to previous one as she utterly disagreed with what the old had said!



http://www.aspergers.com/ has a lot more on it.

As does http://www.aspergers.org/what_is_aspergers_syndrome.htm



Thanks for reading.

[Shrubhater]

12. Actually, I'm thinking of something here...

I myself, have Asperger's syndrome. I'm actually thinking about what you just said about people with Asperger's often having high IQ'. I'm thinking that people with Asperger's often carry the illusion of high intelligence, because they memorize a lot more facts than normal people, so people think they have a very high IQ, when in fact, sometimes they have normal or below average IQ's. Intelligence is not how much you know, it's your ability to figure things out.

P.S. do you have Asperger's Syndrome?

[Deja Q]

15. Yes, no, maybe, and a packet of corn flakes...

I do have Asperger's.

My IQ has been officially rated at 129. Those cutesie $30 crap shrinkwrap versions claim I'm 127, 130, or 131. It depends on the type of test and the factors involved.

But then, it depends on the IQ test. My mind works primarily on a visual level so those cute tests where you have to determine how many blocks there are where you have to mentally interpolate the logic behind the blocks' shape and layout) are a whiz for me.

I can even do extensive computer programming if I hyperfocus on it all day. I have a sufficient ability to comprehend and reason mathemetics, though I do struggle with advanced functions and concepts.

Also note: Aspies also tend to think in linear terms; not laterally like many. This adds to the misconception we all have lower IQs. (So a proper test is the ONLY way to suss out how worthy the person is in our 'society'. And even then, our society judges monetary value over a person's ability or even the planet we're stuck on, so why does it matter? (Can a person with a IQ of 80 fathom that out? Judging by the bulk of the populace who can't "think outside the box" (a trait some aspies can easily do, ironically), how many people with an IQ of 115 be able to realize that grizzly truth?!)) Again, it's not a blanket statement of aspies but how we can best be put to advantageous use. Even normal people aren't good at everything. (I will admit I'm guilty of taking the "high IQ' statement from a resource web site but, let's face it, from my POV or yours, a blanket statement does nary any good.)

So you are correct that fact memorizing is quite dfferent than critical thinking and can lead to false assumptions. Those people who think we aspies are bright when we're all retard-wannabes must have a lower IQ then than the person they falsely accuse of being bright. :D (I just insulted 3 coworkers now that I'm thinking about it. I've never considered myself as being bright, but if I'm bright enough to realize I'm not so bright... philosophical paradoxes weren't my strong point either... or at least until I get my morning cup of coffee and I haven't had that in 2 weeks...)

[stellanoir]

14. thanks for the explanation

though I truly loathe these simplistic labels, it's always interesting to hear what they are theorizing.

Take care.

[Deja Q]

16. Well, let's just say I'm a simple sort of person.

Useless, not deserving of life, but I do the best I can.

Sorry to make you feel so loathesome to retaliate with a hidden dig at me.

I'll be sure never to post again.


Just how complex of an answer did you want anyway? Do you think my intent was to insult your intelligence? Don't bother responding. Life's enough of a pain without getting these responses which in turn don't do me well either.

[cornermouse]

3. A lot of people without asperger's also have trouble

with it. You're not alone. The entire world seems to be messed up.

[Deja Q]

7. See post 5 for a deeper clarification of this:

I now see your viewpoint, but you have no idea what I'm going through (in terms of not just a current issue that my parents and their friends find bizarre and shocked over (my employer is not the stereotype people think it to be...) but how we perceive the world.

[cornermouse]

11. I don't know exactly what you're going through but I do have a

hint or two. I am the parent of an autistic child. I do know about rituals and repetitive behavior. I've seen it a lot.

As a parent, it can be hard to watch and cope with partly because it can get on your nerves and partly because you want to give your child everything and you can't.

As a parent, sometimes you have to clamp your jaws shut and sit on your hands to keep from interfering.

As a parent, it hurts when you see your child hurt by other people and/or the world because you love your child.

The world's not as hard on little kids with disabilities, they're cuter. But when they grow up and aren't as cute any more, there appears to be less flexibility, less willingness to understand, more pressure to conform even when my child can not.

I consider autism as a missing connection inside the head, not mental illness. And I do know that there are a few ignorant doctors that think otherwise, because I ran into one. It was an unpleasant experience and I never took my child back.

I don't know if this helps any, but I thought when you talked about your parents that you might like a few ideas of what they're thinking and feeling.

[tnlefty]

4. My youngest child has a friend who has asperger's. They're 5

weeks apart in age, mine being the older, and it's been interesting watching them together for these years. Mine is wound up tighter than a drum, is constantly into things, talks all of the time, and the friend's mom has always felt like being around my son was good for hers. He had to learn to cope with stimuli and my boy wouldn't ever allow him to withdraw for very long.

Hope that you resolve whatever it is that's causing you difficulty now.

[MyshkinCommaPrince]

6. I am in full agreement.

Can I call you comrade?

I get a bit frustrated with the media coverage of Aspies. They always highlight those who have found great success in spite of, or because of, their condition. Speculation that Newton or Einstein may have had Asperger's are interesting, but they serve to distort public opinion, I suspect. I have not found the condition advantageous, nor have most others, if the Aspie message boards are to be believed.

I can't say, "don't let it get you down," because I routinely fail in that effort, myself. It seems like the kind of thing one is supposed to say, however. (I'm not sure whether a smile icon or a frown icon is more appropriate, here, so please insert whichever seems right to you.)

[Deja Q]

9. Please do! And welcome to DU too!

:party: :hug:

I've found it to often be a hinderance, as with my current situation (which I might see legal help on; I hadn't fathomed that until dad yelled at me today for not asking questions or doing more about the situation. I can't blame him, but I'm a fool for not being able to think the situation. Here's the embarrassing part... I'm thirty-three.)

Of course, when I first told them of my situation,. they said to take the high road and not get legal action (the first thing being "How am I going to be able to pay for it?" A valid question, but now they're saying legal action. Which only served to confuse me more. :crazy: ) Life is so bizarre I've gone to great lengths to ask anybody and everybody for help or what I'm missing on.

I won't let it get me down. For now. There's still plenty of time. :D

[Lindsay]

8. A lot in this society sucks.

:hug:

I know it won't help for me to remind you that it's society that's messed up, not you.

But I hear ya.

[Deja Q]

10. It is, in a way.

I know society's screwed up; but with our "ownershit society" or whatever it's called, it's up to me to find all the answers in a 'society' that's increasingly convoluted and distorted and almost seemingly out to "get" people rather than be fair or of help.

Dog eat dog gone madm and I never liked dog-eat-dog to begin with. Too inhuman.

[tnlefty]

13. I agree, and I wonder if you have a coach or a therapist who can

help you to cope with the times that are difficult? I know that the mainfestations of ADHD and Asperger's can be very similar at times and that adults with ADHD won't present as a child who has ADHD often does. I've had more experience with ADHD in children and I've talked to lots of adults who have ADHD and they find help with a support network, coaches and therapists who are readily available.

Perceptions are different, and sometimes having access to someone who understands fully what you're dealing with, someone who you trust, can be very helpful.