BIZARRO SEA-LAB!

[Khephra]

Bridge

Quinn and Murphy are tied up.

Quinn: Why did you let them on board in the first place?

Murphy: I uh, we-, at first they seemed nice but turns out they're...

Bizarro Murphy, who is basically Captain Murphy in a black wetsuit with a scar, a gun holster and an eye-patch.

Bizarro Murphy: Bizarro!

Cutscene to comic book image of crew of Sealab tied up while Bizarros opposite and Bizarro Murphy in middle with flames behind.


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Series opening montage and theme song.

If you're looking for me,
You better check under the sea,
'cause that is where you'll find me,
Underneath the sea, lab,
Underneath the water,
Sea lab, at the bottom of the sea.

Sealab 2021 logo. The number one flips over with evil music. "Bizarro" is then spraypainted over title.


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Bridge

Debbie, Stormy and Sparks are tied up. Bizarro Murphy is shown with a gun holster.

Bizarro Murphy: For the last time cretins (pronounced wrong), where is the Destruct-O-Beam?

Camera spans across showing Marco, Murphy and Quinn also tied up.

Quinn: Look, we don't have one of those.

Murphy: Just give him the damn beans!

Quinn: We don't have a beam.

Shows Bizarro Murphy.

Bizarro Murphy: The Destruct-O-Beam is the most powerful destructive weapon ever wrought by man. Capable of vaporizing earth into... vapor.

Shows Sparks and Stormy.

Sparks: Why would we blow up the earth... where we are? Right now?

Bizarro Murphy walks over.

Bizarro Murphy: Because it's Bizarro.

Sparks: It's stupid.

Bizarro Murphy: Bizarro.

Sparks: Stupid!

Bizarro Murphy punches Sparks in the face, knocking him over. Camera goes to Marco.

Marco: You dirty coward, untie me you bastards! I'll take you all on myself.

Cut to Bizarro Murphy.

Bizarro Murphy: Bizarro Marco?

Camera to Marco as Bizarro Marco walks over holding an 8 ball. Bizarro Marco's jaw is steel as referenced in episode 2, when Marco and Sparks are talking about Marco becoming a henchman. Bizarro Marco commences to take a bite out of the eight ball.

Marco: Wha? What is that supposed to be?

Bizarro Marco: Are you freaking out?

Marco: No, just pissed off.

Bizarro Marco: Bizzaro pissed off?

Cut to Bizarro Murphy, Bizarro Debbie (Debbie with pink hair and a prosthetic right arm), and Bizarro Sparks (Sparks' head in a floating jar.)

Bizarro Debbie: Screw this. They won't talk? Then I say we gut 'em.

Bizarro Sparks: Don't you mean, Bizarro, gut them?

Camera to Stormy and Bizarro Stormy, who spits out ice cubes as he talks and has white hair.

Bizarro Stormy: I am Bizarro Stormy.

Stormy: I'm regular Stormy.

Bizarro Debbie walks over.

Bizarro Debbie: Shut up, idiots.

Bizarro Stormy: Don't you mean Bizarro shut up?

Cut to Murphy and Quinn.

Murphy: Ok, ok, look, we'll give you the damn beans, huh?

Quinn: That's good, you stall them, I'll think of a plan.

Cut to Bizarro Murphy.

Bizarro Murphy: Silence, Dr. Quinn. You'll think of nothing once your mind is blown by the razor sharp intellect of... Bizarro Quinn.

Camera shows an egg now next to Quinn. Where the hell did that come from?

Quinn: What? My guy's an egg? How is that gonna blow my mind?

Egg hatches to reveal what looks like Quinn mixed with a penguin with red hair.

Oh sweet God!

Bizarro Quinn: Bizarro, Bizzaro.. (repeats itself over and over)

Bizarro Quinn jumps on everybody's laps as they scream.

Stormy: Holy crap! That's nasty.

Back to Bizarro Murphy.

Bizarro Murphy: Now, where are the diamonds?

Zoom out a bit to show Stormy, Bizarro Stormy, Bizarro Murphy and Debbie.

Debbie: I thought you wanted a laser beam.

Bizarro Murphy: Now we want both, and to show you just how serious we are... Bizarro Stormy?

Bizarro Stormy: I am Bizarro Stormy.

Stormy: I'm regular Stormy.

Bizarro Murphy: Show them how serious we are.

Bizarro Murphy hands Bizarro Stormy what appears to be a laser gun. Bizarro Stormy then blows his own head off.

Debbie: No!

Crew yells. Bizarro Quinn continues to repeat Bizarro, then jumps on Murphy's lap.

Murphy: OK.

Debbie: (to Stormy) Hey, show them how serious we are.

Bizarro Murphy: And there's plenty more where that came from. Now who's feeling... talky?

Cut back to Murphy and Quinn.

Murphy: Somebody give him the damn laser... uh diamond bean?

Quinn: We don't have a laser beam.

Bizarro Debbie walks up behind him.

Bizarro Debbie: My breasts are sensing that this one knows something.

Bizarro Sparks: Let's cut his entire body off.

Bizarro Debbie: I will interrogate him, with my breasts!

Bizarro Murphy: Yes, Bizarro Debbie, take him away for interrogation, Bizarro style.

Debbie: Get your hands off him, you bitch.

Marco: Don't talk, Quinn.

Show Quinn being dragged into a room with Bizarro Debbie.

Quinn: I don't know anything.

Marco: That's the stuff.

Bizarro Murphy: Maybe his screams will loosen your tongues!

Debbie: What are you gonna do to him?

Bizarro Sparks: Don't you worry your pretty little he- hey hey!

Bizarro Quinn snatches Bizarro Sparks' head out of the air and bounces away with it.

Bizarro Sparks: Be careful with my head jar, ass!

Bizarro Murphy: It is Bizarro!

Bizarro Sparks: Put me down! Put me down! Eh, Bizarro put me down! Put, put me down!

Bizarro Quinn: We're friends!

Bizarro Quinn then throws Bizarro Sparks down and smashes his head jar open.

Bizarro Sparks: Ah! Can't, Bizarro breathe. Help me, help meeee!

Bizarro Sparks screams as Bizarro Quinn jumps on his head. Cut to Murphy and Marco.

Marco: Come on, now's our chance to escape.

Murphy: Eh... too freaked out.

Bizarro Murphy: Don't you mean, Bizarro-ed out?

Murphy: Uh, yea.

Bizarro Murphy then starts laughing maniacally, Murphy then joins him as Bizarro Quinn sings. Cut to Bizarro Quinn and Bizarro Sparks. Bizarro Quinn starts pouring salt on Sparks' disembodied head.

Bizarro Quinn: I'm helping. I'm helping. I'm helping you.

Quinn screams in the background.

Bizarro Murphy: Dr. Quinn's Bizarro torture begins.

Debbie: You animals! What is she doing to him?

Screams turn into noises of passionate sex as the screen shakes.

Murphy: Good Lord, she's killing him!

Debbie: That bitch!

Quinn: The doctor, is in!

Bizarro Debbie: Oh, is he ever.

Debbie: That bastard!

Murphy: He's out of his mind with pain!

Bizarro Quinn jumps on Debbie's lap.

Bizarro Quinn: You wanna make him jealous? Get delicious Bizarro revenge, ok? Mmmm... delicious.

Debbie: Ah, get off of me you disgusting little monster.

Bizarro Quinn: You likey likey likey likey likey. Bizarro... (etc.)

Debbie: No no no no no no no no no no.

Bizarro Quinn: You can do it. You can do it in there. Give me it in there. (unintellegible) in my pants.

Murphy: That's it, resist his charms.

Stormy: Hey, hey I know some stuff, interrogate me!

Bizarro Marco: Ok...

Bizarro Marco, Bizarro Murphy and Bizarro Quinn start screaming Bizarro as Debbie and Stormy scream No and ouch, respectively.

Debbie: No!
Stormy: Ouch!

Murphy: I hate the Bizarros...

Bizarro Murphy: Don't you mean you hate the Bizarros?

Debbie: Hiii-ya!

Debbie headbutts Bizarro Quinn off her lap. Bizarro Quinn falls on his back and can't get up.

Murphy: Heh heh, like a little turtle.

Bizarro Murphy: Don't you mean, a Bizarro turtle?

Marco: That's it, I've had it with this. All of it, you people are idiots.

Murphy: Silly little turtle.

Marco: You are the dumbest villains I've ever seen. We don't have any lasers, and we don't have any freaking diamonds.

Debbie: And the only thing you're good at is yelling Bizarro all the time.

Bizarro Debbie is now screaming louder than ever.

And you are a whore.

Bizarro Debbie: (through the wall) I know! OH, I know it's naughty oh yes!

Bizarro Quinn now jumps on Murphy's lap.

Murphy: Aww... this little guy. Buddy, if I had a peanut I'd give it to you.

Bizarro Quinn: (vaguely to the tune of the "Tomorrow" song from "Annie") Bizarro, I love you, Bizarro, I love you.

Murphy: Hey, who's got a peanut for turtleface?

Bizarro Murphy: Don't, he's allergic!

Bizarro Quinn: They'll kill me.

Bizarro Debbie and Quinn, now wearing a robe and smoking a pipe, come out of the "interrogation room".

Bizarro Debbie: Well, I tried everything.

Bizarro Quinn: (in background) I can't have peanut!

Bizarro Debbie: He wouldn't talk.

Debbie: Oh, whatever.

Murphy: Way to go, Quinn.

Bizarro Murphy: Did you try ing him in the ?

Bizarro Debbie: Yes.

Quinn: Twice!

Bizarro Murphy: That usually works.

Murphy: Way to go, Quinn.

Quinn: I did- (yawns), I did what I could.

Debbie: You're a bastard!

Bizarro Murphy: Enough. It is now clear to me that this calls for stronger methods of... persuasion.

Marco: Don't you mean Bizarro... persuasion?

Debbie: Yea, make it really bizarre-o. Ohhhh! Bizarre-ohhhh!

Bizarro Murphy: Silence. I will now ply your minds with... Bizarre-o-vision!

Climactic music plays in the background.

Bizarro Murphy: Behold and be helpless against... it.

Lights dim and a screen drops from nowhere.

Murphy: I hate them all except turtleface.

Bizarro Quinn: Bizarro I love you, Bizarro I love you.

Murphy: Shh. Movie.

The screen shows colors radiating from the center as a deep voice says Bizarro.

Murphy: Look turtleface, Star Wars! (laughs) Yea!

Bizarro Murphy: You will be bewildered and amazed by Bizarre-o-vision.

Bizarroes begin to join in with saying Bizarro.

Marco: Psst... Quinn, check it out.

Quinn waves his hand in front of Bizarro Debbie's face. She doesn't move but keeps on repeating Bizarro. Quinn walks to the controls and turns the lights on and the movie off.

Murphy: Aww...

Quinn: Alright, listen up. Bizarro people, parties over, you gotta go.

Bizarro Quinn: Bizarro I love you.

Murphy: OK.

Debbie: What's going on?

Quinn: Bizarre-o-vision. They're hypnotized baby.

Debbie: Yea well you're a bastard.

Murphy: Wait, they're hypnotized! Turtleface, you're a chicken.

Bizarro Quinn: Bawk bawk! Bawk bawk bawk! Bawk bawk! I made an egg for you. Bawk bawk!

Murphy: Heh heh, OK. Get out.

The door closes on the Bizarroes.

Marco: Ok Quinn, untie us. Hurry up before they...

Bizarro Murphy: Greetings fools. Give us the destruct-o-beam or suffer the Bizarro consequences.

Quinn: Uh... we already gave it to you. It's umm... it's in your truck.

Bizarro Murphy: To the truck!

The door closes once again.

Marco: Untie us now, hurry.

The door opens up, revealing the Bizarroes again. Bizarro Quinn clucks then the door closes again.

Bizarro Murphy: Seriously, how do we get out of here?

Crew: (in unison) Hit two!

Bizarro Murphy: Thank you.


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Marco: Man, I'm glad that's over. Damn!
Quinn: What a bunch of idiots.

Debbie: You're a bastard.

Murphy: (laughs maniacally)

Debbie: What is so funny?

Murphy: I gave... (laughs) during the movie I gave turtleface a whole bag of peanuts!

[Khephra]

1. Bizarro kick

:kick:

[DrGonzoLives]

2. BIZARRO! BIZARRO!

Greatest......episode.....ever