Why did God Invent the Jalapeno Pepper?

[tsipple]

Lunchtime, and I went to get some takeout from my favorite (and very authentic) Mexican greasy spoon.

So I just ate two grilled jalapeno peppers. I thought grilling them would do the same thing it does to garlic: mellow them.

Boy was that stupid. I'm still in agony. They get feistier with grilling. My esophagus and stomach are still feeling the heat.

A combination of water (not very effective), toothpaste, frijoles, and cranberry sauce (!) seems to have calmed the body parts I can reach, but what an adventure that was.

How do people eat those things?

[GOPisEvil]

1. Yum! Jalapenos!!!

:9

Oh, and dairy is really good at combatting the heat of peppers.

[Superfly]

2. And so is beer

or so I keep telling myself.

[dwckabal]

3. In Mexico

they tell you to put salt on your tongue if the heat is too much. Works great!

[Myra]

God wrote a chapter in Michael Moore's new book

And explained a lot of things, including
his biggest mistakes (like Bush).
But he didn't mention peppers.
Maybe he/she will in Moore's next book.

My sympathies to your GI tract.

[Forkboy]

4. Jalapenos-One of the very few reasons to believe a God even exists

:)

[Laughing Mirror]

5. God Invented the Jalapeno pepper

to put a little spice in your life

[theivoryqueen]

6. Because they are fun!

I guess being down in Texas and having been exposed to lots of jalapenos acclimatizes ones digestive system (mouth included) to the fire - after a while it's no more troublesome that wasabi. And yes, heating, bbq-ing or otherwise cooking jalapenos makes them hotter.

[tridim]

7. If it's that bad, they probably weren't standard jalapenos

Jalapenos are fairly low on the heat scale. Maybe a Habanero? Regardelss, try milk to calm your belly.

[Soloflecks]

9. I once had salsa so hot...

it literally took my breath away. Thought they'd have to call paramedics to resusitate me! The restaurant burned down a few weeks ago...............hhmmmmmm. Jalapenos may not be the hottest, but every now and then I run across some freaks of nature that would make you think they were.

[slackmaster]

8. They keep me regular

So I don't get cancer and die.

[grannylib]

10. Water will just spread the heat...

Salt is indeed a good "damper" for the heat of hot peppers - one of the reasons taco chips are so salty.
God made jalapenos because they are yummy, especially pickled and followed with a chaser of an ice-cold shot of Stolichnaya...

[On the Road]

11. Did You Eat Them All in One Bite?

I usually nibble to control the sensation better. And if they're particularly hot, sometimes it's wise just to avoid the seeds altogether.

Afterwards, I've always heard that bread or crackers work better than water -- by absorbing the oils.

[el_gato]

12. roasting jalapenos always makes them hotter

i guess it frees up the capcisum but I don't know why it does this.

[tsipple]

13. They're Tricky When Grilled

I just munched them like they were carrots. The grilling had two effects: (1) took the immediate sting off; (2) increased the delayed heat by an order of magnitude.

It took about 20 seconds before I knew what hit me.

Thank goodness the hombre behind the counter only put two of those suckers on my plastic plate.

[Tempest]

14. Jalapeno peppers created for wimps who can't handle Habanero peppers

And I love both in large quantities.

[Rowdyboy]

27. Good to know there's another habanero lover

I made hot sauce out of mine this weekend

[ArkDem]

29. What he said..

.

[mitchtv]

36. Habaneros may be hotter

but they can't match the flavor of a roastd ,peeled jalapeno- i only use habaneros to add heat when we get a bag of 'tamed' jalapenos. sometimes my homegrown are the hottest, i like to let them get red, then ther's a bit of sugar in them.

[hlthe2b]

15. Afraid you did the wrong things: drink milk, eat bread....

to neutralize the pepper....water, especially, makes it worse.

God created hot peppers, likely to keep people like me who enjoy hot spicy Mexican food from ballooning to 300 pounds!(peppers supposedly speed your metabolism, beyond limiting your overall consumption)

[hlthe2b]

16. Afraid you did the wrong things: drink milk, eat bread....

to neutralize the pepper....water, especially, makes it worse.

God created hot peppers, likely to keep people like me who enjoy hot spicy Mexican food from ballooning to 300 pounds!(peppers supposedly speed your metabolism, beyond limiting your overall consumption)

[tsipple]

23. Mexican Food is WONDERFUL

I'm not talking about the Taco Bell crap. I'm talking about the just-crossed-the-border chow line, where you have to order in Spanish.

For example, that monster tub of caldo de pollo (chicken soup) that they serve you is a slice of heaven. Comes with fresh lime, cilantro, and raw onions.

And the bakeries! The French and Italians have rivals.

We really do have a wonderful country, with immigrants bringing such wonderful and diverse cultural elements even to middle America.

By the way, I must recommend cranberry sauce as a hot pepper remedy. While my face and throat were on fire, I thought rationally for a brief moment about how to stimulate the other tastebuds. Cranberry sauce, which is both sweet and sour, did the trick. I had some homemade cranberry sauce in the refrigerator -- made with a little papaya, oddly enough -- and that put out the fire. I thought of bread and dairy, but I didn't have either of those categories handy.

[mitchtv]

37. Cranberry sauce with jalapenos in it

is quite delicious too ,like a hot chutney.

[cally]

17. So I'm trying to figure this out

Why did it take two to figure out that they were too hot. I love hot foods but I take a small bite first to determine how hot they are. I swear by lemon or limes after peppers. Diminishes the spiciness.

[tsipple]

18. Those Peppers Had a VERY Delayed Reaction

Quite impressive, actually, that God could come up with a mechanism like that. She's clever. Or devious. :-) :-)

[Robb]

19. God created all hot peppers

to remind Man not to touch his willy so often. ;)

[GOPisEvil]

20. And certainly NOT after having just chopped peppers!

I made the mistake of touching the space where my tear duct meets my nose after chopping anaheims. I thought I was going to have to keep my face submerged in water for an hour...boy that smarted!

[texastoast]

21. Happily . . .

How can you not eat them? Spice of life. Full of Vitamin C. Can't eat a plate of eggs or a burger without them.

Here are a couple of ways that are supposed to help the uninitiated (as we all were at one time). Try a spoonful of sugar when your mouth is on fire. The Mexicans make these wonderful praline candies that are traditionally enjoyed after one of their meals, which are, of course, full of sugar.

I've heard other people swear by milk. This probably helps out the gastrointestinal parts somewhat.

Removing the placenta and seeds before eating them helps to cool the heat. But don't rub your eyes for a couple of days.

Trust me, you will feel the heat again, but probably not until tomorrow.

Meanwhile, stay away from the habaneros. On the heat scale, jalapenos are at 1500. Habaneros--300,000.

[caledesi]

22. To clean out your sinuses of course. nt

[forgethell]

24. God created the Jalapeno & Habernero Peppers Because

He loves us, and he wants us to be happy.

:9 :bounce: :grr: :cry:

[xJlM]

25. Because Allah loves wonderous variety!

That's a line stolen from Robin Hood, Prince Of Thieves.

[Hubert Flottz]

26. So Mr Coors Could Sell More Beer!

It's a plot!

EDIT: :tinfoilhat:

[tridim]

28. Gawd, beer and hot peppers

don't go together at all. I never understood why they make that pepper beer. Maybe the taste goes together, but for heat management beer is the worst. Then again, maybe it's just me.

[gratuitous]

30. The hot pepper, like the tattoo, is an intelligence quiz

And I don't indulge either, so guess where I rank myself in comparison to numerous posters on this thread.

[matcom]

31. if you take away the Jalepeno Pepper...

then WHERE would i eat my Jalepeno POPPERS?

x(

[YellowRubberDuckie]

32. Just imagine how it's going to feel coming out...lol

I don't envy you bud.
Duckie

[Buns_of_Fire]

40. A few years ago, when I had money,

I sent a "group Christmas present" to my loved ones in Atlanta, and Collie-For-Nyah -- a box full of assorted hot sauces (Dave's Insanity Sauce, Tongues of Fire, Ground Zero, and the like). I also sent them a box of toothpicks to sample them with, along with directions (have milk, bread, and the like handy... keep them away from the kids...) that ended with a one-sentence warning: If it burns going in, it'll burn going out.

A few days after Christmas, I got an e-mail. All it said was, "My God -- are you trying to kill us?" :shrug:

[skip fox]

33. God invented the jalapeno because of a mistake.

He'd gotten drunk one night and the next morning, in the midst of a raging hangover, he invented conservatives. That afternoon, after realizing what he'd done, he invented the jalapeno to get the sour taste out of his mouth. (The next morning, by the way, he invened napalm.)

[patdem]

34. DO NOT, I REPEAT, DO NOT MASTERBATE AFTER HANDELING

Jalapeno Peppers, just trust me on this one! :cry:

[Nikia]

35. Don't eat them plain

I like them as an ingredient in chili and other Mexican food. They can be good with other stuff too but only eat small amounts at a time. I once had jalapeno based (as opposed to tomato based) salsa and that was too much for me.

[Skittles]

38. because people are SICK

that's why they eat them

[henslee]

39. I slice the little ones up and pour olive oil all over them..yum.

I keep them around for days, They only get better. Good on toast, asian food, eggs, vegetarian stuff.

[Kamika]

41. drink milk

The fat will reduce the agony.

Water doesnt help

[4323Lopez]

42. one word- MILK !

Milk calms down any hot food, that's why lots of mexican food is served with sour cream. I was raised eating Jalapenos in my babyfood, man, and I can tell you they are the Best! I love them soooo much, I grave them constantly. Not only are they very, very good for you, but they keep your metabolism way up!

[forgethell]

43. Ever eaten 3 Habeneros on dare?

And chew? Don't. take my word for it. they sure taseted good going down, though.

[Brewman_Jax]

44. Why? Because...

She loves us and wants us to have spicy food any and everyone can eat, and drink beer. (Thanks/apologies to Ben Franklin :thumbsup:)

[LeftistGorilla]

45. God? I dunno....

but my mouth loves em and my bum hates em.... guess who wins out?

[KittyWampus]

46. Why Did God Invent Jalapenos?

To seperate the men from the boys. :)

As a woman, I've found that it seems to be a macho thing amongst men... being able to eat really hot food.

I had a Chinese friend in University days who cooked food that would melt your teeth.

[ProudGerman]

47. Apparently they were invented to keep you from eating them

Now you are supposed to remember this experience and not eat anymore. Mother Nature even went so far as to remind you about them on their way out. At least that's how I think Nature is supposed to work. Of course, she didn't think about those who are gluttons for punishment.

I view hot foods like I view poisonous fruit, I wasn't meant to eat it.