What is your Battle Cry? (funny site)

[Robb]

I don't know if this is new, or just new to me, but this site is more fun than a barrel of monkeys.

FWIW, mine is:

Striding on the steppes, wielding a sharpened screwdriver,
cometh Robb! And he gives a mighty howl:
"I'm going to reduce you to ash,
and sell you as spice!!!"

[omshanti]

1. *she says in a gutteral grunt*

Who is that, rampaging through the freeway! It is Om Shanti, hands clutching a studded crowbar! And with a gutteral grunt, her voice cometh:

"I'm going to pound you into a fine spicy powder!"

[7th_Sephiroth]

2. mine

"i'm gonna tear off your head and shit down your neck"

[VelmaD]

3. This is too fun

Hark! Who is that, rampaging amidst the plains! It is DarthVelma, hands clutching a sharpened screwdriver! She howls mightily:

"I'm going to pulverize you in such an inhumane manner, your pets won't recognize you!!"

on edit: Oh my god. I used my actual DU name and it gets better.

Yea, verily: Who is that, rampaging on the mountains! It is VelmaD, hands clutching a piece of chainlink fence! She screams apocalyptically:

"I'm going to fuck you so forcibly, Buddha will explode!"

[TXlib]

6. I can totally see you saying that!

[VelmaD]

8. Which one...

the pet thing or the exploding Buddha?

[TXlib]

12. I replied before you added the Buddha thing

I can see your DU persona saying the Buddha thing; you seem a bit more reserved in real life.

[VelmaD]

14. Yup, that's me...

shy and reserved. Practically delicate. *snort*

[TXlib]

22. I did NOT say "Shy and reserved"

I just said that in real life you are more reserved than you are online. Which isn't really saying much.

(Unless you're with Will Pitt, that is...) :evilgrin:

[VelmaD]

27. I'm never getting to live that down...

am I? What can I say...that boy is a born instigator.

In my defense, he took off his shirt and showed his tattoos too.

[TXlib]

30. His was not the ONLY shirt-removal, as I recall...

Admit it, you wanton strumpet!

[VelmaD]

34. I said "too"...

I'm not denying that I got a little more nekkid than I intended to...in public anyway. (People, see what you miss when you don't attend DU gatherings.)

Hee...wanton strumpet...snort...that's the nicest thing anybody's said about me all week. *smooch*

[pmbryant]

4. Yikes!

Zang! Who is that, running across the mini-mall parking lot! It is Pmbryant, hands clutching a burning branch! And with a vengeful grunt, his voice cometh:

"I'm going to cram objects into you from every conceivable angle!!!"

I didn't know I was so violent! :scared:

--Peter

[7th_Sephiroth]

9. even better

Who is that, stalking amidst the terrain! It is 7th_Sephiroth, hands clutching a mighty sword! He grunts gutterally:

"In the name of malice, I sow darkness and discord like a river of pure piranha!!"

[everythingsxen]

67. Sweet

A perfect Sephiroth battle cry. :D

Prowling on the fields, clutching a thorned whip, cometh Everythingsxen! And he gives a cruel bellow:

"I'm going to pound you all the way to Abu Dhabi!!!"


I've never even been to Abu Dhabi! :evilgrin:

[TXlib]

5. Sprinting across the desert,

clutching gilded boxing gloves, cometh TXLib! And he gives an ominous cry:

"Hail the blood-letting! I slice through beating hearts like a four-year-old on a sugar rampage!"

---

That was using my real name; using my DU name:

Lo! Who is that, striding across the fields! It is TXLib, hands clutching a burning branch! And with an ominous howl, his voice cometh:

"I'm going to brutalize you to the moon and back!!"

[HEyHEY]

7. ahhhH!!!!!

"I'm going to bruise you until the cops have to tear me off your wraithly spirit!!!"

[Bertha Venation]

10. LO!

Lo! Who is that, rampaging across the fields! It is Kimberly, hands clutching a meaty axe! And with a mighty howl, her voice cometh:

"I'm going to pummel you with such disregard for common sense, your momma won't recognize you!"

[supernova]

11. Sprinting through the fields

Sprinting through the fields, wielding a jeweled meat hammer, cometh Supernova! And she gives an ominous roar:

"I'm going to redefine your concept of 'playing hardball with the big boys'!"


Here's my real name. LMAO!!

Zang! Who is that, running amidst the mountains! It is Denice, hands clutching gilded boxing gloves! And with a gutteral scream, her voice cometh:

"I'm going to fuck you into the fast lane!"

[ronnykmarshall]

13. This is too funny!

Sprinting amidst the hotel lobby, brandishing a thorned whip, cometh Ronnykmarshall! And he gives a gutteral bellow:

"I'm going to fuck you so utterly, your reincarnation will be a scientific anomaly!!"

[pmbryant]

17. That might be the best yet

:crazy:

[BigMcLargehuge]

15. I think I'll make this my new sig line!!!!

what do you think?

Hark! Who is that, striding along the mini-mall parking lot! It is Big McLargehuge, hands clutching buzzsaw hand extensions! And with a bloodthirsty scream, his voice cometh:

"I'm going to beat you so badly, you'll age fifty years!!

[Az]

16. SPPPPOOOOooooooonnnnnnnn!!!

Can there ever be another battle cry?

[TXlib]

25. Uh, OK, Tick!

[kmla]

18. Quite amusing. I never realised my glands weren't quite satisfied...

Who is that, sprinting across the candy store! It is kmla (name changed to protect my anonymity), hands clutching a bladed baseball bat! And with a mighty roar, his voice cometh:

"In the name of malice, I carve into flesh until my glands are satisfied!"

On edit, my DU username is pretty funny as well:

Yea, verily: Who is that, sprinting across the steppes! It is Kmla, hands clutching a meaty axe! He grunts gutterally:

"I'm going to torment you like a wrecking ball, then steal your lederhosen!!!"

I can always use more lederhosen...

[ProudGerman]

19. a couple from different user names I have

For ProudGerman
Lo! Who is that, striding out of the plains! It is ProudGerman, hands clutching a jeweled meat hammer! And with a spectacular cry, his voice cometh:

"I'm going to flog you until you turn inside-out, and dip you in uranium!!"

For Ekscalybur

Hark! Who is that, prowling amidst the tarmac! It is Ekscalybur, hands clutching a sharpened screwdriver! He grunts homicidally:

"I'm going to torment you until your mortal mind doth snap!!"

For ProberSE

Zang! Who is that, running through the candy store! It is ProberSE, hands clutching a thorned whip! And with a gutteral scream, his voice cometh:

"By Odin's mighty spear, I carve into flesh until everything has croaked!"

and for the holy shit! category Brimstone Surfer

Zang! Who is that, stalking across the tarmac! It is Brimstone Surfer, hands clutching a bladed baseball bat! He howls homicidally:

"I'm going to fuck you until you're a parapalegic, and plug you into a power plant!"

[elcondor]

20. Fun site!

Rampaging over the fields, clutching a bladed baseball bat, cometh Elcondor! And she gives a cruel howl:

"For the love of carnage and discord, the enemy is as grass before my mighty tempest!!!"

LOL, my weapon would sooo totally be a bladed baseball bat too! (If I ever were to be rampaging over the fields.)

[meegbear]

21. LOL

Sprinting along the candy store, carrying a reflective halberd, cometh Meegbear! And he gives a vengeful cry:

"Hail the blood-letting! I shall traumatize the entire planet!!"

[GOPisEvil]

23. Bwahahahahaha! This is fun!

Lo! Who is that, rampaging out of the hotel lobby! It is Gopisevil, hands clutching a mighty sword! He roars homicidally:

"In the name of Thor the Mighty, I lay waste to all I see like a river of pure piranha!"

[Richardo]

24. Fear the mighty Richardo! Or, give him a perplexed look....

Rampaging through the mountains, cutting down all who dare stand in the way using a jeweled meat hammer, cometh Richardo! And he gives a spectacular bellow:

"I'm going to bruise you until you acquire caulrophobia!"**


** I had to look it up, too. It's "fear of clowns". My theory is that if you have to stop and explain your battle cry, you should get a new battle cry.

[GOPisEvil]

29. *snarf*

OK - that made me laugh REALLY hard!

[Robb]

38. LOL!

That's freaking hilarious, Richardo!

I knew this would be a hit in the Lounge. :)

[pmbryant]

26. Here's Howard Dean's battle cry

Skulking amidst the terrain, attacking with a jeweled meat hammer, cometh Howard Dean! And he gives a booming cry:

"I'm going to pound you harder than God thought possible, and hit you with a steamroller!!"

[pmbryant]

28. And Wesley Clark's...

Sprinting on the mountains, wielding a thorned whip, cometh Wesley Clark! And he gives a cruel cry:

"By Odin's mighty spear, I desecrate until everything has croaked!!!"

EDIT: Gotta prefer Dean's battle cry. Maybe this is how I can finally decide between these two. ;-)

[ProudGerman]

32. Here's John Kerry's

Striding amidst the terrain, brandishing a thorned whip, cometh John Kerry! And he gives a spectacular cry:

"I'm going to pummel you to the moon and back, and grin like a fucking maniac!!"

[pmbryant]

35. Tom DeLay and Karl Rove, just so we know what we're up against

Who is that, sprinting along the cliffs! It is Tom DeLay, hands clutching a studded crowbar! And with a cruel howl, his voice cometh:

"I'm seriously going to torment you until the cops have to tear me off your wraithly spirit!!"



Hark! Who is that, running on the fields! It is Karl Rove, hands clutching a bladed baseball bat! And with an ominous howl, his voice cometh:

"I'm going to clobber you like it's a new extreme sport, and throw you out the window!"


Somehow I can actually imagine these guys saying these things.

--Peter

[TXlib]

31. KCDem's

Who is that, stalking along the fields! It is KCDem, hands clutching a bladed baseball bat! And with a mighty roar, her voice cometh:

"I'm going to spank you all the way to Chung-Chong-Buk-Do, and launch you into deep space!!!"

[GOPisEvil]

33. Where the hell is Chung-Chong-Buk-Do?

Leave it to her to get the spanking battle cry. :D

[LuLu550]

36. I put in both my user names

LuLu's is: "By Odin's mighty spear, I slice through beating hearts like a mad dog who can only get madder!!!"


VeriGroovi's is: "I'm going to hump you with such disregard for common sense, you will see ultraviolet!!"

Is that type casting or what???

[WilliamPitt]

37. Yea, verily

Yea, verily: Who is that, rampaging across the tundra! It is William Pitt, hands clutching a bladed baseball bat! And with a bloodthirsty grunt, his voice cometh:

"I'm going to punch you into the stuff of nightmares!"

[youngred]

39. "I'm seriously going to forcibly reverse your gender!!"

Striding over the tundra, cutting down all who dare stand in the way using a burning branch, cometh Youngred! And he gives a bloodthirsty scream:

"I'm seriously going to forcibly reverse your gender!!"

[Dookus]

40. Dookus yields

"I'm seriously going to bludgeon you until your anus and mouth reverse their functions!"

[Dookus]

41. my boyfriend's name results in

"I'm going to hump you until you have puppies."

[kixot]

42. This ones's mine, and kinda weird.

Hark! Who is that, stalking along the mini-mall parking lot! It is Kixot, hands clutching an oversized scalpel! And with a bloodthirsty howl, his voice cometh:

"I'm going to hump you all the way to Dorflingen, Austria!!"

[Dookus]

43. Wasn't that

Ahnuld's campaign slogan?

[TrogL]

44. I thought you could only contort yourself

"I'm going to contort you so utterly, you will wake up from the Matrix!!"

[THUNDER HANDS]

45. OH MY GOD...MINE IS AMAZINGLY ACCURATE

Skulking across the candy store, cutting down all who dare stand in the way using a meaty axe, cometh Magic Rat! And he gives an ominous grunt:

"I'm going to forcibly reverse your gender!!!"

[YellowRubberDuckie]

57. ROTFLMFAO!!

These are hilarious.
Duckie

[MisterP]

46. Vengeance and goo flow from my veins!

I will bend the enemy to my wicked will!

Mr. P: I'm going to smack you until the Earth stands still!

[ArkDem]

47. Hmmmmm...

Sprinting on the candy store, cutting down all who dare stand in the way using a thorned whip, cometh Arkdem! And he gives an ominous grunt:

"I'm going to contort you until you are unable to sit properly!"

[MisterP]

48. Politicos:

Yea, verily: Who is that, skulking out of the wasteland! It is George W. Bush, hands clutching a reflective halberd! And with a gutteral howl, his voice cometh:
"I'm going to wrap you in bacon, and throw you on the grill!"


Skulking out of the freeway, attacking with a piece of chainlink fence, cometh Al Gore! And he gives a cruel bellow:
"I'm going to clobber you until you taste like chicken!!!"


Lo! Who is that, prowling out of the terrain! It is Bob Dole, hands clutching a mighty sword! And with a mighty bellow, his voice cometh:
"I'm going to beat you beyond your expiration date, and plunge you into financial ruin!"


Zang! Who is that, skulking out of the tarmac! It is Dick Cheney, hands clutching a mighty sword! And with a bloodthirsty bellow, his voice cometh:
"I'm going to spank you into the fourth dimension, and throw you out the window!!"

Sprinting on the mountains, wielding a thorned whip, cometh Wesley Clark! And he gives a cruel cry:
"By Odin's mighty spear, I desecrate until everything has croaked!!!"

[Brewman_Jax]

49. Here's mine...

Yea, verily: Who is that, skulking along the cliffs! It is Lurking Argyle, hands clutching a mighty sword! He grunts apocalyptically:

"I'm going to spank you into your own personal hell!"

(I don't skulk, 'specially with a monster sword in hand.)

One of my personal favorites...

"I will rip out your eyes and piss on your brains!"

[Jonte_1979]

50. LOL

Sprinting along the wasteland, swinging a meaty axe, cometh Jonte_1979! And he gives a bloodthirsty bellow:

"Blood and souls for my dark lord! Skulls will be fucked for Satan!!!"

[Xithras]

51. Mine sounds almost kinky

Zang! Who is that, stalking out of the cliffs! It is Xithras, hands clutching a studded crowbar! He grunts vengefully:

"I'm going to pulverize you like it's my job, and roll you in creamy neugut!"

Mmm...human candy bars :evilgrin:

[Cadfael]

52. my battlecry (apparently)

"I'm going to flog you backwards in time, and launch you into deep space!"

[zonmoy]

53. Here is a perfect one for bush

I have become death, destroyer of worlds.

[kyrasdad]

54. hmmmm

And he gives a booming grunt:

"I'm going to pulverize you until Amnesty International campaigns against it!!"

[YellowRubberDuckie]

55. Oh my god...This is hilarious...

Rampaging amidst the hotel lobby,
attacking with a meaty axe,
cometh YellowRubberDuckie!
And she gives a booming scream:

"I'm going to contort you like a wrecking ball, then bake cookies!!"

LOL
Duckie

[goobergunch]

56. *chuckles*

Stalking through the mini-mall parking lot, swinging a piece of chainlink fence, cometh Goobergunch! And he gives an ominous howl:

"I'm going to smash you with such zeal, you'll age fifty years!"

[patdem]

58. Too Funny...like a horoscope...says what you wanna hear...mine

Yea, verily: Who is that, stalking out of the cliffs! It is Patdem, hands clutching a burning branch! She cries homicidally:

"I'm going to clobber you so hard, your blood will flow counter-clockwise!!"

[nini]

59. "I'm going to smack you into a fine spicy powder!!!"

Lo! Who is that, skulking amidst the hotel lobby! It is Nini, hands clutching a thorned whip! She grunts homicidally:

"I'm going to smack you into a fine spicy powder!!!"

[dolo amber]

60. Oh no...no no no no no

This has you all beat. :D

(I used a name I use on another board because dolo amber was crap :P)

Stalking amidst the cliffs, cutting down all who dare stand in the way using two hardened pitas, cometh Blue Jam! And she gives an ominous scream:


:bounce: "I'm going to beat the flaming shit out of you!" :bounce:


(with my two hardened pitas, no less! :D)

[SOteric]

61. Oh Ghod. I'm a bimbo....

Lo! Who is that, sprinting across the mountains! It is SOteric, hands clutching gilded boxing gloves! And with a gutteral bellow, her voice cometh:

"I'm going to exfoliate you to the bone!"

[Mr. Brown of MD]

62. Rampaging through the mountains...

Rampaging through the mountains, carrying an oversized scalpel, cometh College Dude! And he gives a mighty cry:

"I'm going to forcibly reverse your gender!!"

-CollegeDude
Loves that site

[binaryline]

63. This is the best ...toy... ever...

Here's mine:

Lo! Who is that, striding over the candy store! It is binaryline, hands clutching a burning branch! She cries homicidally:

"In the name of malice, I bring darkness and mayhem like a sentient bulldozer!"

Goddamn right I do! ;-)

[MSchreader]

64. It is Martin, hands clutching a burning branch!

And with an ominous grunt, his voice cometh:

"I'm going to pierce a hole in you the size of God!!!"

:evilgrin:

Martin

[Kenneth ken]

65. rampaging out of the candy store!

Who is that, rampaging out of the candy store! It is Kennethken, hands clutching a meaty axe! And with an ominous grunt, his voice cometh:

"I'm going to pound you until you pee fire!"

[BritishHuman]

66. Kinda cheesy

Lo! Who is that, prowling out of the desert! It is BritishHuman, hands clutching a reflective halberd! He roars homicidally:

"I'm going to punch you in such an inhumane manner, the Earth will spin twice as fast!!!"

[Kamika]

68. "I'm going to clobber you until you are hot and bothered!"

heh

[grannylib]

69. Flip Cootie, Fuck Wild, YAH YAH!

Don't know where the hell that came from , but it was popular among a group of my female friends in high school...

[foxy]

70. Here's mine

Prowling out of the terrain, clutching a burning branch, cometh Foxy! And she gives a bloodthirsty bellow:

"I'm going to flog you until the cops have to tear me off your wraithly spirit!"

I knew I was kinky but this is ridiculous. Truly funny stuff. Thanks for the laugh. :)

[Nailzberg]

71. Striding on the hotel lobby, attacking with a mighty sword...

cometh Nailzberg! And he gives a gutteral howl:

"I'm going to brutalize you so hard, I will be high on life for years to come!!"

[Vespasian]

72. Zang! Who is that, rampaging across the wasteland!

It is Vespasian, hands clutching a studded crowbar! And with a spectacular bellow, his voice cometh:

"Brace yourself, oh human speck of dust! I slice through beating hearts like the world's mightiest bad-ass!!!"

Hardcore :D