Titles for Books You'll Never Write

[BurtWorm]

Here's a title for a book I'll never write about gun nuts and the Second Amendment:

"The Uncivil Right"

[TXlib]

1. Uncivil War: American politics from 1992 to the present

[LynneSin]

2. "One Night in DC"

The tales of passion, sex, lust, turmoil, espionage and yak grooming in a downtown DC hotel the night before a major protest. It'll be the book where I out all the secrets of that fateful night of drinking, carousing and sweet Virginia.

[BurtWorm]

7. I thought you wrote "that fateful night of drinking, carousing and

sweet Viagra." I would buy that book!

[THUNDER HANDS]

"Trust Me, I Know What I'm Talking About"

A guide to women and dating, by Magic Rat

:)

[LynneSin]

5. Maybe you can convince Richard Mellon Scaife to bulk-order your book

like he does for Ann Coulter and Laura Ingram

:shrug:

[brainshrub]

3. "How I made a million dollars by posting on DU"

[Screaming Lord Byron]

4. George Bush : 2004 - The Landslide

Couldn't resist

[DisgustipatedinCA]

6. A Memoir: Ain't No Restrainin' Order Stronger Than Our Love

[JohnKleeb]

8. Kleeb reflects on his many girlfriends

Ive had zippo so far.

[WindRavenX]

9. "How to convert from being a Yankees fan to being a Sox fan"

I have a feeling I'm going to marry a Sox fan though.....:(

[Vespasian]

16. Repent, sinner!

And you shall be saved!

:D

[DisgustipatedinCA]

10. Archetypal Lifeguard: Jungian Themes in the Works of Hasselhoff

[Screaming Lord Byron]

11. The Wit and Wisdom of Joe Lieberman.

[Robb]

12. "Quit pretending you don't like it:"

"The John Fund Story."

[DisgustipatedinCA]

15. Oh, that's a good one!

[Character Assassin]

13. "Sexual Applications of Transmission Fluid"

Others:

"The Three Muskatards"
"Implications of Magnetic Therapy on Design Tastes of Recovering Cokeheads"

Others that someone else will never write:

"More Credit Than He Deserved: The Bob Mayo Story", by Peter Frampton

A magazine I'll never publish: Postmodern Bride.

[fishnfla]

14. "Suicide Prevention Put Me on Hold, So I Hung Up"

I'm sorry about the gal's troubles, but that was an all-time classic line

[BurtWorm]

17. Flightsuit Prancin': George W. Bush as "Commander-in-Chief"

[ronzo]

18. Ronzo's Big Book of Guitar Licks

[mitchum]

19. "Pissants and Pomeranians"

sort of a Ronald Firbank knockoff

[matcom]

20. Smiley's, Asses, Thongs and Internet Message Boards

An Autobiography

:D

[ScreamingMeemie]

21. I Promise Not to Laugh During the Seance'.

I actually have about 10 chapters of this written. It's a "girl coming of age" novel. Got the idea from a sleep over my daughter was at, where they all had to sign a piece of paper with this as the header. I looked at it and said, "Hey, that'd make a great name for a book."

[UrbScotty]

22. Reasons why I love Our Great Dictator President

:puke:

[annagull]

23. "How to be a Non- Procrastinator"

yep, in a pig's eye!

[Rabrrrrrr]

24. Matcomism and ZombyCoffee: The Evil Methodology of Liberal Brainwashing

Or "8 Years Of Unholy Terror On DU, How They Kept Me There, And How I Finally Escaped Their Gods"

[matcom]

26. Fiction right?

i mean you really can NEVER "escape"

:D

[Rabrrrrrr]

28. well, that was the fiction I was alluding to

That there will never be any escape.

I have accepted my position, and I am okay with it now.

I shall stay. I shall be good. I shall never speak out of line.

Hail Matcom! And please, more ZombyCoffee - I almost thought for myself, Lord Matcom, and that terrifies me. Please, do not force me to make decisions for myself. More ZombyCoffee! I love you for your sacrifice as you take care of us who are not smart enough to care for ourselves! Your love is infinite. This we know!

[matcom]

29. war is peace

freedom is slavery
love is hate

you must NEVER procreate!

*sing along if you like* :D

[Rabrrrrrr]

31. You have only but to command it, and I shall sing

Lead me, O Great One! Teach me more of liberal groupthink! brainwash me into the evil liberal anti-famliy agenda! I am an open vessel for your knowledge!

[matcom]

34. you shall sing like an angel or..............

you shall visit "Room 101"

[Rabrrrrrr]

35. no! Not Room 101!! Don't punish me!

I'm sorry I make mistakes, I really try, but I know how horrible it is for you to deal with such ignorant people as myself and I bless you that you are so willing to scarfice yourself and your time to try to teach me! I shall sing like an angel for you, because you deserve it!

[matcom]

36. no need to be afraid of Room 101

for you know nothing of it!

RIGHT?
RIGHT??
RIGHT???

there IS no Room 101
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

unless of course, you are there

[Rabrrrrrr]

39. No, of course, I don't know about room 101.

Never heard of it.

[matcom]

41. then why did you say you didn't want to go there?

if you don't KNOW about it, then you can't NOT want to visit right?

RIGHT??
RIGHT??

so let me fill you in....

Room 101 is a LOVELY place with soft music, gourmet foods, body massages, and strippers (both male and female)

NOW you want to "visit" don't you?

you KNOW you do!

[Rabrrrrrr]

42. Yes, I do want to visit. Naked.

Thank you Lord Matcom!

I shine your shoes! I sacrifice my spittle to feed your holy plants! I shake vigorously your cough medicine for you!

[GoddessOfGuinness]

25. "There's a Special Place in Hell"

A saga about poorly engineered highway interchanges and the people who designed them.

[HEyHEY]

27. Hatred...a dying art

[jobycom]

30. Reagan was NOT a Good President, Damnit!

That's mine.

[Jonte_1979]

32. "Some Musings on Plato and Other Philosophical Lightweights"

(nt.)

[info being]

33. The State that I am in

oops...I actually wrote and published that. I don't know if I'd recommend the process to others though.

[JVS]

37. "Shattered Glass and Shattered Dreams: The Fatty Arbuckle Story"

It is about the career and life of Fatty Arbuckle. Including the scandalous event which ended his career and it's aftermath.

PM me for details!

[Vespasian]

38. "The American Dream:

A Life in Service of King Bush."

:puke:

[NightTrain]

40. Curious George and the Electric Fence

n/t