I just said "no" to a job that paid $105k. Am I nuts?

[stopbush]

Here I am, out of work for 2.5 years. I relocated from New Jersey (I've lived and worked in NJ and NYC over the past 25 years) to Las Vegas in June. My recruiter here just called and asked me if I'd be willing to relocate to Biloxi, Miss, for a job that paid $105k. I asked my wife - who said "no effing way!" So I turned it down.

Are we nuts? The salary was in the ballpark of what I've made in my best years (maybe a bit under), and in this economy, it's certainly nothing to sniff at. BUT, we just can't imagine ourselves living in the Heart of the Red States, let alone the Heart of Dixie (at this point, not having a relative within 1000 miles hasn't been a debit in my job search. I'm willing to relocate to Europe, for example). That is the ONLY reason I wouldn't even consider the job (and, I'd probably do well on the COLA).

Are my gut-reaction anti-South prejudices getting in the way? Is Biloxi a liberal oasis in the right-wing storm, sort of like Austin in Texas? With our political beliefs, we had a hard enough time in Dem-heavy NJ as we lived in a town that was a pocket of radical repigs. We were never really accepted by most of our neighbors (it didn't help that we're humanists who don't even attend church for the social benefits). Here in sin city, we've got fundies across the street and down the block - and our kids have had to hear about how non-Xtians are all going to hell (yes, I've had THAT conversation with the parents, but it hasn't stopped it 100%). So, bush's South just seems out of the question.

Tell me I made the right decision.

[quinnox]

1. Yes, you are nuts

but isn't this a lounge topic?

[DisgustipatedinCA]

2. Can't tell you if it was right or wrong

But you did the same thing I would've done. Money isn't everything, and yeah, I can say that because I'm unemployed too.

Good luck to you.

[Demobrat]

3. When faced with a similar decision

I just kept telling myself "If there's one bad job there's another one". Turned it down and never regretted it for a moment.

[Loonman]

4. There isn't much I wouldn't do

For that kind of cake!

[jsw_81]

5. I think you made the right choice

You would have probably been miserable down there.

[supernova]

6. What do you do?

Biloxi is a military town, FWIW. But I've not heard anything especially bad about it. 105K would be a VERY GOOD salary there. There's liberal and conservative people everywhere.

[loudnclear]

23. Biloxi has casinos.

When we were there, we found the people to be rather friendly. The place has casinos and attracks a varitey of casino-goers from all races and religions. Didn't stay long enough to really learn how the natives are after church and after 9/11. I think I would have taken the job, bought a nice house and if things didn't work out, sell at a profit and move on.

[elfwitch]

26. 105K in Biloxi

Is a huge amount of money!
It would be like pulling in 200-250K in NY or LA.
Mississippi is a little scary, but it isn't nearly as bad in the bigger cities.
As uncertain as things are these days it wouldn't be a horrible idea to check out the opportunity, especially if they are offering relocation money.

[Julien Sorel]

7. 100k in Mississippi is worth a lot more than 100k

in NJ or NV, maybe enough of a difference to make your wife happy about the move.

But I understand the reluctance, having made a similar decision myself once.

[htuttle]

8. You made the right choice...

...assuming you can continue to live indoors at the moment.

Money isn't everything. I turned down a job at $80K/year awhile ago because I didn't really need the extra money (about double what I make now), and didn't want to relocate. Plus I like my current job -- why make a move?

[Uzybone]

9. You must not need the money

if you let anti south prejudices get in the way of a well paying job after being jobless for over 2 years. Now if you did REALLY need the income, then yes you are nuts.

[Yupster]

10. I grew up in NYC

moved to Texas 22 years ago and have never looked back.

You sure don't want to go somewhere your wife doesn't want, but don't let prejudices confine you. At least give a place a look.

[XNASA]

11. You could like like a king for $105K in Biloxi.

And besides, New Orleans would be right down the road.

I'm a northern liberal who did 6 years in Houston, and I made it out OK. I wouldn't go back, but I wouldn't trade the experience for anything either.

[xultar]

12. YES

[Terran]

13. You are crazy

90% of us will never make a salary anywhere near that. And Biloxi is a beautiful place. Great beaches, from what I understand.

[dave29]

14. You should move there

the South isn't so bad, and if it is, you can work to fix it :)

[Ediacara]

15. what was the job?

I suspect that like ALL red states, there are liberal oases scattered around, and Biloxi might be one of them. You might do some research on Biloxi, and call your recruiter back.

[Mairead]

29. Biloxi is military, or at least it was when last I visited it, in '82

[FreedomSpirit]

16. Good for you

You have to live your truth. Especially if your wife said "no effing way" (which BTW is what I would also have said). I lived in Missouri & Kentucky for several years (transplant from NYC area)back in the 1980s and there was a huge cultural divide which these days must be even worse. And the Bible Thumpers were constantly at the door making my dogs crazy and waking up my babies.

Selling your soul for money is never a good idea.

[bushisanidiot]

17. I'd Take It. Even If I had to work there, rent an apt. and send $ back

home to my family.

[Kolesar]

40. I know Ohioans who winter in AL so they can sail all winter

He is a retiree tows his 2200 pound sailboat down there every winter so he can sail on the Gulf of Mexico. I guess he and his wife like it.

[bif]

18. I'd look at it too.

I don't like the south either. But we visited Biloxi when I ws a kid and it seemed like a decent place. And that kind of money would go darn far down there.

[HFishbine]

19. Biloxi has a great beach

they dump their sewage on it. You don't know what you've missed.

[NuckinFutz]

31. unless they've cleaned it up

I wouldn't move there either. When I was there for military training in the late eighties, the odor was incredible, especially after a rain. It smelled like a mix of formaldehyde and old coffee breath. Fortunately, I was only there for six months.

[IrateCitizen]

20. If you're wife didn't want to go, you made the right choice

So long as you're not going through the couch cushions yet for bread money, it seems that you're still OK. If your wife was that adamant about it, why on earth would you go anyway and put unnecessary strain on your marriage.

Your wife is probably more important than your job. I know that mine is. And if so, then you've got your priorities straight.

[ShaneGR]

21. You aren't nuts, you're totally insane.... here's why

First off, you could live like a king in Biloxi making that kind of money. Second off, the area you are talking about isn't that conservative. Third off, despite their conservative leanings, southerners can be very friendly people. Besides, couldn't you affect change there?

[drfemoe]

22. imo - wrong

decision -- as long as the "work" is right for you. Mississippi is a beautiful state and Biloxi is right on the gulf .. beautiful. If it was in louisiana.. I would say, no way .. but if it's not too late maybe reconsider.

I lived in vegas too and loved the climate .. but I found the people to be suspicious and cold. I lived in northern miss for three months, and the people are just downright friendly .. even the blackjack dealers ;) ..





I would jump on it ..
.02
btw.. please don't refer to the South as belonging to res .. it irks me no end that his web site for kids lists "Midland" as his "hometown" .. just NOT true.

[ewagner]

24. Biloxi isn't that bad

It's big enough where you can pick and choose among the places you want to hang and and with whom you want to hang out.

A good friend of mine relocated to Gulf Shores Alabama a few years ago. I told him he was nuts but he really likes the place. btw...he's more left wing than I am........

should check the place out!

[cmf]

25. I would look harder at the decision.

You should look at it harder. Actually research the town. You might not find it that bad. Biloxi is on the coast and it's very close to New Orleans. It's not really a bad place. There are fundies everywhere and there are liberals everywhere, too. Why let predjudice get in the way of just researching what the city is all about?

[Cat Atomic]

27. You could buy the damn state for $105k and turn it blue if it you like.

So yes, you're nuts.

:P

[yankeeinlouisiana]

28. Yes, you're nuts!

Take it and keep looking. 2.5 years is a long time to be out of work. It is always easier to find a job when you have a job.

[3CardMonte]

30. Your choice

but I don't want to hear any complaints that you are out of work.

[AP]

32. Biloxi's OK. I've been there.

Work there for two years. Vote Democratic. Get involved in local politics. Live like a king.

[cally]

33. Yes you are nuts

I think your southern prejudice is wrong. I've considered moving south many times. You could make a change in the local politics.

On edit: If you have kids then I would be more concerned. I would look at the schools and also your own kids. Are they able to emerge whole from a less liberal education.

[w4rma]

34. Nope. I will not tell you that you made the right decision. (n/t)

[Zero Gravitas]

35. At least

At least visit the place, who knows you might like it. Your finances are your concern of course, but if it were me I would be getting a little nervous after 2.5 years w/o a job.

[ithacan]

36. you definitely made the right decision

if you lived in the NY area for so long, you do not want to move to MS, you'll be miserable.

There is much more to life than money, as your wife clearly knows. especially given your political beliefs.

Do you have kids? If so, do you really want to raise them in that environment? No.

I could be making tons more money than I am, but living in a progressive oasis like Ithaca (upstate NY) is worth at least a few hundred thousand dollars a year to me in terms of peace of mind.... In fact, even if I lost my job I'd stay here rather than moving to an area that was overwhelmingly conservative.

You did the right thing. Don't let anyone make you feel bad about it.

[SammyWinstonJack]

37. That's a lot of money to pass on

We moved from Calf. to Texas 11 yrs ago and are actually better off financially.OTOH, we tried to make a go of it in Vegas a couple of yrs ago, lasted 7 weeks before we moved back to Texas. Here to stay now. $105k would make for a very good living in Miss. Guess you gotta do what you think is right.

[Bake]

38. As a recent transplant to MS, I can say yes, you are nuts

Mississippi, for all its faults, is a beautiful place with some of the nicest people anywhere in the US. If you've been out of work for over two years, and turn down a job with that kind of money (assuming, of course, that it's doing the kind of work you enjoy for a company that's not in Chapter 11 or soon to be in Chapter 11, etc.) just because it's in the South, although you'd consider going anywhere else, then yes, you're nuts and I feel sorry for you.

I've found quite a few kindred liberal spirits down here in Jackson, MS. And with Biloxi, you're close to New Orleans, close to Mobile and nice beaches, etc.

The only thing that takes some getting used to is the humidity! When it's hot here, it's hot and humid -- unlike Vegas!

Bake

[OKNancy]

39. No you didn't make the right decision

because no matter where you go, there will always be like-minded people. I live in Tulsa, Oklahoma. Did you know that the largest Unitarian Church is here? And even if you didn't find a perfect place politically, can you imagine what life in Mississippi would be like? It is a beautiful place. It is the place of Faulkner.

I can't imagine that someone would turn down a good job after being out of work for so long.

And the prejudice and lack of insight and adventure is another thing I can't quite imagine.

[Closer]

41. Yes you're nuts!

I know the thought of Mississippi sucks, but you can do ANYTHING in a year or two, then move to something else. 105k is HUGE in that area of the country. You could have really saved up. I've been through Mississippi just once, on my way to New Orleans, and I must say (though I know it's hard to believe) but Biloxi was BEAUTIFUL! I remember being surprised myself. Then again, we were driving throughout sunset, too.

[Hammie]

42. Hell yes!

You made a major life decision based on uninformed predjudice. Way to go! I'd start with nuts and throw in some other choice adjectives.

In the interest of not locking the thread I'll stop here.

[Selwynn]

43. It must be nice to be able to PASS UP 105K opportunities..

[livinontheedge]

44. You can't be serious. No way. No one can be that shortsighted.

Your first job is to provide for your family. There are plenty of democrats to cavort with in EVERY state. Give me a break.

[Rowdyboy]

45. Biloxi 2003 is urban, casino /entertainment

oriented, not pot-bellied, toothless, gum-smacking rednecks. However, if you want to live your life based on stereotypes, be my guest. It's your loss, my friend.

[bmbmd]

46. As Lucy Van Pelt once said

"I always knew you were crazy, Charlie Brown, but now I can see your nuts". Biloxi is a beautiful city with fabulous casinos and wonderful beaches. Good fishing, stable economy, university town. A little hot and muggy in the summer(which runs from March 'til November)and the occasional hurricane make the weather a little dicey. If it's not too late, you ought to at least look at the joint.

[Skittles]

47. I was stationed in Biloxi, Mississippi

Ithought it sucked.

[Cocoa]

48. is this a question?

or a parable?

[ithacan]

I don't think most people have actually read your whole post...

I think this is a really important part that everyone seems to be ignoring:

With our political beliefs, we had a hard enough time in Dem-heavy NJ as we lived in a town that was a pocket of radical repigs. We were never really accepted by most of our neighbors (it didn't help that we're humanists who don't even attend church for the social benefits). Here in sin city, we've got fundies across the street and down the block - and our kids have had to hear about how non-Xtians are all going to hell (yes, I've had THAT conversation with the parents, but it hasn't stopped it 100%).

This is Extremely important. I'm just amazed at how many people are willing to put money above all else.

People, stopbush has made it clear that he and his family have lived in conservative territory and that they have found it hostile.

When you have kids you MUST think about the environment in which they are growing up, the attitudes they will encounter, etc.

So stopbush, I think you need to keep in mind that most people on this threat are responding only to the initial question, that they did not actually read your post about your priorities and experiences.

[DemBones DemBones]

55. I don't think anyone said, or meant, "money uber alles," ithacan.

Perhaps stopbush is an exception but most people need employment to survive.

We'd all prefer to live in a progressive nirvana but food and shelter are Extremely Important.

[lysergik]

49. YES, You are nuts. Seek mental help immediately!

For 105k I'd be there in a Heartbeat. I'd be almost anywhere for considerably less than that if it would mean I didn't have to be on unemployment anymore.

[Timefortruth]

50. Why didn't you ask us BEFORE you turned it down?

Is there any way to reconsider?

Does your wife have a really good job? That would be the only good reason to turn it down.

[jiacinto]

51. Yes

I am without a job and would have killed for it.

Were they going to pay your relocation?

[Media_Lies_Daily]

52. No, you're not "nuts". Stupid maybe, but not "nuts"....

...in 1990 I moved to northern Alabama from just outside of Washington, DC. I like this place so much I'd never leave unless it was for someplace along I-81 in Virginia. The people are very nice, the pace of life is much slower than that of the DC area, and winters are pretty mild. Regardless of what gets reported in the media, the schools are not all that bad because parents and teachers want what's best for the kids.

IMHO, and this is going to be harsh, you have some rather broad negative stereotypical perceptions of the South that you should never mention in public. They make you appear as ignorant as the people you think live in the South.

[DemBones DemBones]

53. Call that recruiter back NOW and set up an interview. Take your

wife along and take a good look at Biloxi for yourselves, keeping an open mind. The Gulf Coast is beautiful, that's a HUGE salary for the area, you're close to New Orleans, and you do find good people everywhere if you're looking for them. You may well find a sizable population of New Yorkers and other Yankees living in Biloxi for the climate, the coast, and the cash going farther. We've lived in a conservative area of Georgia for more than thirty years and there are many Northern "transplants" here. Southerners are generally friendly and polite (your kids will learn to say "ma'am" and "sir") and you just ignore any who aren't. You did encounter assholes in NY, didn't you? They seem to have branch offices everywhere.

[Bake]

58. And if you like seafood, it's fantastic!

Big ol' Gulf shrimp! Mmmmmmmmmm!

Hey, food is important too!

Bake

[SammyWinstonJack]

64. ROFL

"You did encounter assholes in NY. didn't you? They seem to have branch offices everywhere."

Vegas certainly has atleast one branch office , where the poster currently resides. I know, I lived there. I would much rather live in Biloxi making $105k then live in Vegas, unemployed. Politics aside, the Southern states are beautiful. People tend to be laid back and quite friendly , and as you said polite, generally. You're correct about children learning to say "ma'am" and "sir." I grew up in California and when I came to live in Texas, I was quite impressed to hear that out of young people, it carries through to adulthood.

[Undemcided]

54. You're potty.

Move to Biloxi, take the 105 large and whilst you're making decent money start looking for other gigs where you'd really like to live.

"If we do not find anything very pleasant, at least we shall find something new."
~ Voltaire

[Garage Queen]

56. Uh. I think "nuts" doesn't even begin to describe it.

I make 1/3 of what you do, and would relocate to GW Bush's RANCH to make $105K.

[Tom Yossarian Joad]

57. Full tilt bozos. Old South Architecture on the Ocean...

You've been hoisted by your own pitard. I'm originally from the MW and now live in AL. The idea so many have about the South is waaay wrong.

[Braden]

59. no It would take more than $105k for me to move to Mississippi

I am sure Biloxi is wonderful. If you are hard up for $$$ then you are truly nuts, but I wouldn't move there for just a good paycheck.

Although I admit the lifestyle you could live there for that is a nice perk.

In Boston or New York $105,000 is enough to afford a house and live a decent lifestyle and not much more.

[TXlib]

60. I moved to Houston for a job, over Ann Arbor, and it's not so bad.

It helps that we've managed to make some liberal friends.

You'll prolly find a UU church in the area (as an atheist who goes to a UU church and loves it, I can attest to the liberal nature of UU).

Sometimes, I wish I'd taken the Ann Arbor job, though.

[neuvocat]

61. Did the job have right-wingers as bosses?

Because then it won't matter how much you make because you'll spend all that cash on therapy.

[bif]

62. You already said no

So it's too late. Don't look back and don't regret it. Move on!

[MojoKrunch]

63. DUDE!

Biloxi is right on the Gulf Coast, not far from New Orleans, not too far from Florida resort beaches and a growing Casino heaven.

Ok, it *IS* Mississippi, but come on!
If you don't have kids to educate there you're fine.

105K will buy you way more than in any other state in the nation.

Plus you get *fresh seafood*!

//Tell me I made the right decision.//
For 105K, I'da moved and I hate the people in the area with a passion.

Mojo

[ithacan]

65. he DOES have kids

he says so clearly in his post

[MojoKrunch]

67. Missed it obviously.

Easy solution; private school.

Unless he's a really social guy, interacting with conservative Mississippians isn't terribly difficult.
Just treat them like you would any other wild animal.
Don't make any sudden moves and never look them in the eyes.

:D

Mojo

[DoNotRefill]

66. Yup...completely insane.

Just as there are bastions of conservatives in the "liberal" northeast, I'm sure there are bastions of liberals in the South.

The key is to find them before you buy a house, and then shop accordingly.

and $105K is great money there, what with the much lower cost of living.

[onebigbadwulf]

68. Sorry Mr. Nuts

That kind of opportunity won't come back until a dem comes into the White House

[Deja Q]

69. I'd withstand the heat for that much dough

Dunno how long I could stay, what with me being a flaming fairy and all that... but I'd try.

[Nay]

70. Not just nuts. Totally bonkers. Completely around the bend.

As a past resident of the Fla Gulf Coast, I can tell you that the area is quite beautiful. About the kids? Send 'em to a Catholic private school to get the best ed anywhere.

As someone else said, you can buy the damn STATE for $105,000. You would live like a king. You could pay your house off in two years, if you didn't buy a mansion.

Take back your "no" and at least take the family down for a look-see.

[stopbush]

71. First off, I need to say "thanks" for all the great input.

There were so many great things said on both sides of the equation, that it got me thinking. As I said in my original post, my rejection of this job was based solely on my wariness about the South. I think that the over-whelming consensus I've taken away from the posts was that I reacted too quickly and that the job is worth at least investigating. (BTW-I've been through the South along the Atlantic seaboard, but I've only spent any real time in Florida).

I also discussed it further with wifey, and her initial reaction (as in, "no effing way") was based in part on the experience of her cousin who was in the military and spent the better part of 15 years being shipped around the South. She hated it and moved back to California as soon as she retired from the military.

So, after considering all things, I'm sticking a toe in and re-examining my decision.

I called my recruiter back and asked him to flesh out the position a little more. It turns out that the position is, in fact, with one of the big casinos in Biloxi (it's a marketing director job). The casino's home offices are here in Vegas, so I'll be able to do at least an initial interview here. Interesting point - my recruiter told me he wasn't surprised at my reaction as he is having a very difficult time finding any qualified candidates here in LV who are willing to consider a relocation to Biloxi. My understanding is that there is something of a merry-go-round here in LV when it comes to these types of positions, ie: someone leaves the Riviera to take a job at the Bell'agio so someone from Caesars goes to the Riviera, etc. Most of the local candidates want to improve their lot in LV rather than relocating. At the same time, my recruiter is working on a similar position here in LV with a different company (something I didn't know until I called him back. I guess the local job is not as fully developed in the recruiting process. The Biloxi job involves a more-rapid hiring timeframe).

I was also moved to rethink my decision by those posters who pointed out that I could possibly make a difference in the political landscape there. I have to admit that selfishness (as in, "I'm so sick of fighting the fundie mind set") had blinded me entirely to that possibility. I'm not proud of those feelings, and I thank those who added some insight to my world view.

As far as the money, while that's important, it hasn't been the be-all and end-all to my way of thinking for some time. Otherwise, I would have stayed in the job I had in NJ for 5 years (that paid very well). I left because as I moved up in the trust of the family that owned the business, I became increasingly aware of their lack of principles and basic morals. I fought them when they tried to blame their lower-rung employees for their self-created problems, especially at yearly review time. And, near the end of my time there, I discovered they were skating rather close to the edge of illegality in their dealings with their vendors, and that really pushed me out the door. BTW - the patriarchs of the family were staunch repugs while the kids running the business were "don't ask, don't tell" Dems. I don't necessarily believe either political party is immune from engaging in questionable business practices.

As far as my own financial position, it is currently OK (ie: I could go about another 12 months without a job if I absolutely had to), but that's only because up until 2001 I was working 50-80 hour weeks with lots of travel involved and I saved money like a Congressman at a healthcare expo. Plus the fact that we made a decent profit when we sold out home in NJ. But I certainly don't want or expect to keep this particular lifestyle much longer...I'm going nuts (even with all the quality time I'm able to spend with the kids - something that was sorely missing for the first 7 years of my son's life) and need to be doing something constructive somewhere. And living off one's savings is not only austere but a bit scary.

So, thanks for the guiding lights out there. I guess I'm pulling a flip-flop on this one, though the ultimate outcome is not a done deal.

[Noordam]

77. If they are having a hard time filling the position they will pay

for a trip to Miss for you and the wife......

[Iris]

72. Don't do it! (Move to Mississippi, I mean!)

Being stuck in the South, I can tell you, it wouldn't be worth it.

(You'd spend all your money on booze or drugs to kill the pain!)

[kodi]

73. dude, money don't buy happiness.

if you're not happy in your head, where you live and how much you earn doesn't matter.

[Noordam]

74. Should have check with DU first

jchild was the leader of the Mississippi voting threads here and lives in Ms. PM her.

Member since Before July 6th, 2003
Number of posts 3716
Avatar Image
Gender undeclared
State Mississippi
Comment Southern girl and damned proud of it.

[JVS]

75. I'd have taken it!

I hate the South, but that is good money.

You'd have lived like a god. Complete with white suit and mint Julep.

[Noordam]

76. And Lisa lives near by

http://www.allhatnocattle.net/about_us.htm



Here she is after Bush was selected president

in a Coup d'Robe by the U.S. Supreme Court.
* stolen from her site :evilgrin:

[John_H]

78. You just blew it big time.

I moved to S. Mississippi for five years in the nineties, and lived like the king of Mardi Gras on about 3/4 of that salary.

Having grown up a city boy's city boy from the midwest, I dreaded that move like 4000 root canals, but ended up having tears in my eyes when I moved away.

It ain't NJ, and some of their ways take a little getting used to, but the Mississippi coast has little to do with the rest of MS culturally--people are from all over the US thanks to the casinos, some major shipping companies, and an agressive business development program.

Plus, there are no property taxes, 105k in Biloxi (you'd probably live in a beautiful, postcard town called Ocean Springs at that income level)is 210k or more in NYC area, and you're 45 minutes from New Orleans and an hour from some of the best undiscovered gulf coast beaches left (Gulf Shores, AL).

You owe yourself a trip down there if the offer's still open. Hell, use the spare cash to do a weekend in NY every couple of months.