What's The Message On Your Home Answering Machine / Voice Mail?

[arwalden]

Mine is boring: "You've reached XXX-XXX-XXXX. Nobody is here to take your call, so please leave a message."

YAWN! HO-hum!

We tried cute and clever messages... but we just couldn't pull it off without sounding like complete asshats. So... we settled for boring instead of embarrassing.

So what's your message say?

-- Allen

PS: Our message doesn't really say "X-X-X"... we actually use our real telephone number in the message. I'm sure you knew that already... but I just wanted to make sure you know, we're not complete idiots. :silly:

[grannylib]

1. ours is pretty much the same - 'you have reached ***-****, leave a

message'

I HATE cutesie messages and I HATE fakey-sweet voices on answering machines, drives me nuts.
I don't even tell people to wait for the beep or whatever, holy shit, it's the 21st century, figure it out already.

[RevolutionaryActs]

2. Actually, wouldn't that be really funny if you did say 'X'

in your message instead of the number? :o

[Kathy in Cambridge]

3. When I was younger, I had Valley of the Dolls themes on my answering

machine:

"sparkle, Neely, sparkle!"

"Look, they drummed you right outta Hollywood. So you come crawling back to Broadway. Well, Broadway doesn't go for booze and dope"

"Boobies, boobies. Who needs them?"

That was, of course, before I had a real job.

[arwalden]

11. Wonderful!!

I love that one!

[Spider Jerusalem]

4. "Hello, you have reached XXX-XXX-XXXX. Leave a message at the tone."

Short and simple.

[dajoki]

5. leave a message.

that's enough:)

[pitohui]

6. same thing

you have reached, leave a message

[Ariana Celeste]

7. "Ok. Here's the deal- you have to leave a message, or I'm

not going to pick up the phone.... and uhhh. That just how it works."

Imagine this said with a stoned male voice.

[u4ic]

8. We used to have

fun answering machine messages...the last one was the Pink Panther theme; Inspector Clouseau answering, right before Cato came at him. (I know a couple of people who are master impersonators, and pull these voices off great)

Right now it's boring...but the next one will be Humphrey Bogart or Rod Serling.

[OldLeftieLawyer]

9. Duh

I've never understood why people restate their phone number on their answer machine message. I mean, what's the purpose? Do you think the caller maybe didn't know your number? And, if s/he didn't, then why would you state it for them?

Lemmings. Lemmings everywhere.

Our machine has me saying "Beep." And then laughing.

[arwalden]

13. I Announce My Number For The Idiots Who THINK They Dialed Something Else..

When they hear the ACTUAL number, they won't bother leaving a message for the person they thought they were dialing. (Most of the time. Sometimes the wrong-number folks are so stoned they just ignore the blah-blah-blah and just wait for the beep.)

[progmom]

23. well.....that's rude!

:shrug:

[Obamarama]

10. If this is the phone company, the check is in the mail....

If this is a telemarketer, I don't need any of whatever it is you're selling...

And if this is the Republican National Committee, you've DEFINITELY reached a WRONG NUMBER.

If you are friend or family, you know what to do at the beep. I'll get back to you as soon as possible.

[Hotler]

12. You make the message sound like you really answer.

"Hello!!!"
Pause
Ha ha just kidding. Can't answer the phone right now blah, blah
you get it.
Burns them all time.
Got to pause long enough to get them to run off at the mouth.

[BikeWriter]

14. I don't answer my phone. I'm online. :-)

[XemaSab]

15. Answering machines

are for sheep.

I prefer to be an individualist, and let the fickle hands of fate decide who gets ahold of me.

[Tikki]

16. Please leave a message after the tone......n/t

[progmom]

17. I always end with "...I'll return your call as soon as I'm able."

...which leads to at least one message a week saying: "Hi Mabel!"

:eyes:

[arwalden]

20. Thinking....

:spray:

:rofl:

[evlbstrd]

18. The default.

That electronic pseudo-femine voice that says ,"Not available at this time."
Damned thing keeps getting unplugged and I'm tired of resetting the options.

[flamingyouth]

19. Hi, you've reached xxx-xxx-xxxx. Please leave your message after the tone

I took my name off of it a while ago...

[arwalden]

21. Smart!

Or you could use a fake tongue-twister last name... like Apu's last name. Your friends would know it's really you, but strangers and solicitors would have a hell of a time trying use and pronounce it.

[flamingyouth]

22. They have a hard enough time with my name as it is

- the solicitors, that is. :D