How the Hell, do ya have Phone Sex?

[Hubert Flottz]

Where do I insert my token? I've looked and looked at the telephone and it just doesn't arouse me, am I abbynormal?

[regnaD kciN]

1. Well, first thing is...

...unscrewing the mouthpiece on your receiver, then...

;-)

[Hubert Flottz]

5. I wanted to know about screwing not unscrewing!

Isn't there electrical current in the phone? Does that mean a speedy withdrawal is needed to avoid a shortcircut?

[SOteric]

2. Well really...

You have to have 'stubby little equipment' to get any kind of thrill out of the dial-plate.

[Hubert Flottz]

10. Mine ain't very long but it's as big around as a beercan!

Phone I mean!

[BritishHuman]

15. You can use my dictaphone if you like

Just put your lips up reeeeal close...

:evilgrin:

[short bus president]

3. duh!

Phone sex is only for girls. And they have to set it to "vibrate" first.

;-)

[matcom]

4. its all how you push the buttons

unless you have an old Rotary phone. then it damn near impossible! x(

[Hubert Flottz]

11. When I pick up the receiver the lady's voice on the phone says,

"Sorry I Have A Headache!"

[Richardo]

6. I guess you start by calling LBJ...

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=373318

[THUNDER HANDS]

7. well

first you get:

(a) a cordless phone
(b) a jar of KY Jelly
(c) a 1/5 of Jack Daniels
(d) something to bite down on

:)

[BritishHuman]

16. I make it a rule not to indulge in anything

whose ingredients include "something to bite down on". That's usually a giveaway that it may not be as pleasant as it sounds.

[TXlib]

8. The little holes in the mouthpiece and earpiece are a little tight.

[Bertha Venation]

9. It helps if you have a phone shaped like a . . . uh . . . YOU know . . .

[Hubert Flottz]

12. Can I get Pregnant if they reverse the charges?

Somebody else wants to know all this stuff!

[Kamika]

13. easy: VIBRATOR MODE

Should I tell you some of the stuff I done with my cell?

[BiggJawn]

14. Gives "Ricki don't lose that Number" a WHOLE new meaning....

or Blondie's "Call Me"....:evilgrin:
did you "wrap that rascal"?

[WoodrowFan]

22. yes please.

yes please, and slowlllyyy . :evilgrin:

[BigMcLargehuge]

17. you need a condom with an RJ45 connector on the end

the Telecom tickler

[Hubert Flottz]

18. Is that how one reaches out and touches someone?

"Sorry your phone orgy can not be completed at this time due to a headache in the line! Please try again later!"

[Hubert Flottz]

19. BTW, do you think Leesa had phone sex up on the pole at........

Green Acres?

[nuxvomica]

21. There is something called "acoustic boot" technology...

that allows transmittal of tactile sensations over phone lines. You can literally "touch" the hand of someone who also has an acoustic boot hooked up to their phone line. Is this what you are referring to?

[kodi]

20. what? you never heard of aural sex?

when someone tells you they're gonna' give you an earful, be sure to wear ear muffs.

i will leave for another to explain how one contracts hearing aids with aural zex