The Worst Book You Ever Read

[GURUving]

What is it?

and why?

[BurtWorm]

1. Walker Percy's The Moviegoer

leaps to mind. That's probably unfair. I was expecting something deeper.

[GURUving]

3. what was the theme?

and why was it not a good read- where did it miss on the thoughts you had expected?

[BurtWorm]

I barely remember it. That's not a good sign.

It seemed promising, being set in New Orleans during Mardi Gras. I don't recall why it might have been called the Moviegoer. I was expecting more of a connection between movies and American life. If there was, I really don't remember it.

Smilla's Sense of Snow is now gurgling up. I couldn't read beyond a few chapters. The constant nagging pseudo-profundity wore on me pretty quickly.

[GURUving]

10. Smilla

I didn't read the book, but watched the entire movie. I was definitely disappointed.

[MercutioATC]

14. I read the book while I was on vacation in Paris...

(I'm a fast reader and I just read for an hour or two a couple of nights).

I enjoyed it.

[BurtWorm]

30. I'll bet the fact that you were in Paris on vacation

had something to do with your enjoyment of it. ;)

[MercutioATC]

62. That's a possibility...

:)

[devilgrrl]

49. I did too. :-)

What's his damage? :silly:

As for books that truly sucked, I'll have to go with John Grisham's 'The Firm.' I could only stand it up to a 1/3 in, then I had to put it down, what a pile of crap! :boring:

[MercutioATC]

63. Ahhh...I'm guilty of liking Grisham. Not much substance, but a fun read.

Not ALL of the time, but Grisham books make a nice diversion sometimes.

[alarimer]

117. king of torts

This is one of the bad ones. The main character (a class-action lawyer) has no redeeming qualities whatsoever. He made lots of money then lost it. It was not an enjoyable read at all.

[Wickerman]

9. Not his best

I'd say he captured roughly the same character and intent in The Last Gentleman and did it much better, but I think worst read is a little harsh. Its pretty dam well written.

I got tricked into reading Nicholas Sparks - The Notebook. What manipulative dreck.

[BurtWorm]

17. I know it's harsh.

It just leapt to mind. I think it's because I usually try to read only books that hold me. That one kept releasing its fingers.

[Wickerman]

21. I recently reread it

I read it 10- 12 years ago or so. Recently reread it. The first time I had a hard time reading it too. I was intrigued, but found the disaffection of the character didn't keep me tied to the novel (like you, I'd say), but I was compelled to finish the novel. The character never does find what he is looking for and that is off-putting, too. It worked better for me 10 years later and a second time...

[roughsatori]

12. A friend of mine LOVED the Moviegoer, I read it and

honestly can't remember a single thing about it. That is strange because I have an excellent memory when it comes to literature.

[mitchum]

123. all of Percy's novels are disappointing

[ZenLefty]

2. L. Ron Hubbard - Fear

I can't explain it. I read the first 20 pages, guessed the surprise ending, read the last two to confirm my guess, and put it back on the shelf. It's still there, untouched.

[GURUving]

4. Consider yourself lucky

You are a clear and maybe didn't even know it!

[wtmusic]

5. Prey by John Crichton

Just bad. Very, Very Bad.

[GURUving]

11. What was a genuinely good Crichton novel?

I didn't like any of them. That's just me though.

[Gogi]

38. 'Jurassic Park' was lousy.

Read the book and watched the movie, neither one did anything for me. I was really disappointed that Crichton had one major character giving a lecture while he is slowly dying of poison. Last time I read a book where the author used that device was 'The Day After'. Please, dying people in novels should'nt give graduate course lectures on mathematics or radiation sickness or anything else. I've come to the conclusion that authors do this because they can't write a realistic death scene.

[Kellanved]

64. there aren't any

For High-Tech novels/thriller Neal Stephenson is by far the better writer (IMHO).

[AquariDem]

6. Sweet Valley Twins--the series

I devoured those skinny little "novels" in elementary school. Why, oh why?

[smallprint]

73. snarrrrrrf...LOLOL!

Because they had the best covers, that's why! Those blond little twerps!

:D

[AquariDem]

126. I guess they painted this wonderful universe

where everyone had boyfriends (hey, I was in elementary school) and no one had any real problems...

[BigMcLargehuge]

7. tie between L. Ron Hubbard and Grant/Naylor

The Invaders Plan (book one of the Mission Earth series): L Ron Hubbard, reading it made me wish for both blindness and illiteracy.

Better than Life: Grant/Naylor Red Dwarf does not translate well to the written word.

[TrogL]

119. Mission Earth is sarcasm

or it's at least readable if taken as sarcasm with an unreliable narrator (see other thread).

[roughsatori]

8. Confederacy of Dunces

Boring, and NOT funny. Yet, most people I know LOVE that book. I found the cleverness cloying and discovered that the book's defenders will resort to fisticuffs--luckily I am quite the pugilist for a book-worm.

[GURUving]

13. I didn't find it particularly clever, though

I did thoroughly enjoy it. This was a one of a kind book. It won't be seen again.

[CanuckAmok]

15. I agree...Dunces isn't great.

A woman I was trying to seduce loved it, so I gave it a try. Luckily she wasn't into Gravity's Rainbow, too!

My worst book experience is probably "The Alienist" by Caleb Carr. Terrible, just terrible.

[roughsatori]

20. Seduction among the literate is a marvel

I have read so many books because of sex and love. It is kind of funny. But the worst is when I realize I've tricked myself into pretending a writer is gifted just to get laid.

I have been told that I have a great speaking voice. I once read the entire contents of Lolita aloud for love. It took me a few weeks of chaste dates that were dedicated to reading those words of Nabokov's. When I finished we had sex and then dated for 3 years.


If you are ever stuck try reading the poem "When We With Sappho" by Rexroth aloud to your next victim. Only a cold-hearted wretch could refuse you after that beautiful poem.

[Wickerman]

22. I once read Willard and His Bowling Trophies out loud

to a conquest. Why that got me laid is a mystery, but it worked. Your mileage may vary. Richard Brautigan rocks.

[roughsatori]

25. I had a paramour who would read Mallarmé in French after sex

The poetry was perfect as an after sex activity when the mind was clear. And it is funny you mention Brautigan, one of my first sexual experience occurred after reading Watermelon Pickle to each other.

[Cocoa]

97. there's a Saturday Night Live sketch about you, I think

it's Will Ferrell and Rachel Dratch as college professors. :-)

[thebigidea]

102. I'm not even going to bring up clever uses for NAKED LUNCH

or maybe I just did...

[foo_bar]

52. met my girlfriend reading The Moviegoer

and it sucked, speaking of dangling modifiers.

[DisgustipatedinCA]

50. r.e. Gravity's Rainbow

I began reading this book 2 days ago and I'm still only 50-someodd pages into it. I find myself re-reading a lot of passages. I'm waiting to synch with the rhythm of Pynchon's writing style, but damned if it isn't difficult for me.

But I'm going to read the thing, oh yes. Even if I hate every page (which I suspect won't be the case), I'm going to read the thing out of stubbornness.

And then there's Ulysses...

[stanwyck]

67. Like I say

reading this book is strictly for bragging rights. Although why you'd want to brag about wasting your time like this...stop now. Save yourself.

[DisgustipatedinCA]

70. It's not for bragging rights

It's so that I can wrestle it to the ground, defeat it. It's for purposes of grim satisfaction. :)

[stanwyck]

101. You're a better person than me

good luck to you.

[bif]

86. Vineland by Pinchon

I made myself finish it. Totally pointless and a real waste of good trees.

[bif]

98. I tried reading it about once a year starting in college

got about 50 pages into it and gave up. It's a book written by an english scholar to impress other English scholars and English profs. I finally threw it out. Totally self-serving kind of novel in my opinion. Do yourself a favor and don't read it.

[JanMichael]

107. Ulysses? Out of 100 people 1 has read it.

Of those who have read it only 1 in 10 understands it well.

I've read it and probably only understood 30% of it...Liked it though, I really did. I dig the stream of conciousness style.

Reading Pynchon's book though is like banging my head into a granite table...Repeatedly.

But, since you'll stick it out, I promise to finish it.

[TrogL]

121. You need to get further into it

and start watching for synchronicity and things with curves

I still haven't sorted out what the dancing girls are for (other than that they have curves)

[gate of the sun]

45. I was thinking of saying

that exact book I hated it and tried twice to read it and never could. I felt weird because it was supposed to be so great.....I read alot of books so sorry i thought it sucked.

[RobinA]

71. Ya Got That Right

Everybody raves about this book (CoD), so I got it. It was awful. Clever? Where? I have no idea what anybody sees in this thing. The character had no application to anything in life, and I didn't care about the guy. Couldn't stand him, as a matter of fact. This book is great on a galaxy far, far away from where I live. Ugh.

[youngred]

88. I agree

you're one of the only people I've ever say they dislike it. Perhaps I just don't "get it" but I found the book to be unfunny, overdone and stupid.

[Cocoa]

93. I don't want to punch you, but....

that is the funniest book I've ever read. I remember embarrassing myself on the train laughing uncontrollably and having to put down the book to catch my breath.

Just curious, do you have similar negative reaction to the sarcastic comic book guy on the Simpsons? :-)

[Maple]

16. A Confederacy of Dunces

for moi aussi.

The first 23 publishers that turned it down were right.

It sucked, majorly.

[roughsatori]

23. Maple, now I know why I like you

I hated that too. I used to joke that Dunces was a book to love for people who hadn't read much.

[Cocoa]

94. yuck

that attitude sucks.

[bicentennial_baby]

99. Really?

I'm sure my English professor who's been teaching for 30 years would be most surprised to hear that! :eyes:

[RandomKoolzip]

54. I dunno, I liked it.

I know The parts where Ignatius explains his philosophy in his journals really drags the book down, but Toole captured life in NEw Orleans pretty well, and....well, let's just agree to disgree....

[Catfish]

78. This book elicits strong opinions

I've seen it many times on lists of favorites and on lists of most hated. I didn't like it but you're right the feel you get for life in N.O. is accurate.

[Philostopher]

18. Gravity's (fucking) Rainbow.

Gaaaah! Just thinking about the book, and having read it, inspires a great desire in me to dig it out of a box upstairs and throw it across the room again!

Why was it the worst? Because I have never, ever, in over thirty years of reading novels (I read 'Alice in Wonderland/Through the Looking Glass' when I was six or seven), ever read a novel that reminded me, every single paragraph I finished, that I was reading a novel.

Now, I've read 'Ulysses' and 'Remembrance of Things Past.' I've read most of the Hemingway novels. There were books I liked better than others, and books that were emotionally or intellectually rewarding or harrowing to read for various reasons (I've never gotten more than six pages into 'Finnegan's Wake'), but no book has ever given me the singular experience of never once drawing me into the story to the point I was no longer aware I was sitting in a chair with a book in my hand.

Thomas Pynchon can bite me, if anybody can track him down.

[markses]

47. You didn't get into the story of GR?

I find that bizarre. I think it's a brilliant story.

[Philostopher]

120. I guess it was just Pynchon's writing style, I don't know.

And that's really what gave me trouble -- the technique. It was a grueling read, for me, in ways that 'Ulysses' wasn't, and I know plenty of people who say something very similar about it.

I'm perfectly willing to accept it's just my preferences on writing style -- if 'The Crying of Lot 49' had been any longer, I might never have finished it or gone on to read 'Gravity's Rainbow,' so there you have it -- I'm just allergic to Pynchon, I guess.

[stanwyck]

66. Totally agree

This is one of those books people like to brag about reading...I guess it's like surviving boot camp. Dreadful, but, once it's over, you get to go all macho. Hated it. Psuedo-intellectual junk.

[Nailzberg]

19. The O'Reilly Factor

Utter piece of garbage. And I'm not being my usual smartass self. I actually read it.

Let me explain. It was a gift. Before I got completely fed up with his show, I used to watch it because I like knowing what the Freepers talking points are gonna be so I can better arm myself for debate.

My parents knew I watched it a lot. They had no clue at the time who he was, most people didn't know who he was at this time. My parents never heard me screaming at him and calling him an effing fool, cause I don't scream at the TV when I lived in thier house.
So they bought it for me without knowing who O'Reilly was or what he stood for. So I read his shit book. There was actually one chapter where I might have agreed with him. He thought the war on drugs was a joke and we need to treat drug users, and I said to myself, "Holy Shit, I agree with Bill O'Reilly," then I brought it to a used book dropoff site.
And I bet he doesn't express that opinion anymore lest the brass at Fox send him a memo.

[AquariDem]

26. Hope the new owners won't mind dried

chunks between every page, except those in the one better chapter... :puke:

[Zero Gravitas]

24. Anne Rice

some vampire book by Anne Rice. I love to read & I read everything from "Great Literature" to cheap pulp Sci-Fi and everything in between. Almost always I'll finish a book, even if I don't really enjoy it. I read a vampire book by Rice once (forget which one) and found it so awful that I just threw it away about 1/3 of the way through. Apologies to any Rice fans here, but to me it was beyond awful.

[BigMcLargehuge]

27. they bored the shit out of me too

I made it through interview with the vampire, and half of the vampire lestat then decided to read the ingredient list on the cereal boxes in my cabinets because they weren't so verbose.

[Gogi]

34. I have a rule..

I don't read any contemporary literature that features vampires. Ann Rice is persona non grata in my library. I am a Sherlockian and a lot of pastiche writers always want to write stories about Sherlock Holmes meeting Dracula. Very boring.

[Cat Atomic]

46. She should've stopped at one book.

The first one was good. The others were... eh... not.

[Bridget Burke]

90. Interview with the Vampire was pretty good

I also liked The Feast of All Saints (a non-occult novel about New Orleans Creoles).

I've read more of her stuff--just because it was available--but found it plodding & leaden, with occasional interesting flashes. Apparently, she's decreed that she doesn't need an editor. Anne, this is not true!

For weirdness, I'll take Tanith Lee, any day.

[TrogL]

122. She had a dry spell

and started writing to formula.

I'm reading her latest one (can't remember the title - it's at home) and it's an improvement once you get past the first 15 pages (recap of about a dozen other books).

[monkeyboy]

28. Hillary's book

Sorry, but that was the most boring damn thing I ever read. Only got half way through it and gave up.

[GURUving]

29. Yep - that Hillary Schmenken book was forgettable

yep.

[Gogi]

31. Spirit Lake by McKinlay Kantor.

I bought this book because my G-G-G Grandfather was involved in the Spirit Lake massacre in Iowa. (He did'nt kill anyone and he lost his left arm and his youngest son.) Anyway, I had read Kantor's 'Missouri Bittersweet' and enjoyed it so I expected to enjoy this. Kantor's writing style in this book is, at least to me, unreadable.

[jobycom]

32. Worst good book-- Ulysses

I mean, I've read some real dog fantasy, detective and mystery novels, but they were supposed to be bad. There was one called the Sonic Slave about a nympho countessa who sleeps and fights her way through some really bad spy scenarios that stands out more than the others.

[BurtWorm]

36. Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man

is the worst--or at least the most terminally dull--good book I've read. And I've read some Henry James novels!

[Interrobang]

33. Oh dear goodness, I'm an ex-English major, where to start?

So many bad books, so little time, even though I read at warp speed. The worst book ever? Was it:

The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald?
The Dubliners by James Joyce?
The Name of the Rose by Umberto Eco?
anything at all by Jaques Lacan?
Pamela by Samuel Richardson?
anything at all by Ayn Rand (but especially Anthem, which is plagiarized from Yevgeny Zamyatin's brilliant novel We)?
The Sword of Shannara by Terry Brooks?
anything at all by David Eddings?
anything at all by John Brunner?
Solaris by Stanislaw Lem?
anything at all by JRR Tolkien?
Great Expectations by Charles Dickens? (although I must admit some of his other novels are quite good)
Mein Kampf by Adolf Hitler? (wins the award for "Most Revolting Read," although I'm not sure his prose is the worst, strictly technically speaking, but that could have been translator's license)
Lives of Girls and Women by Alice Munro?
Who Has Seen The Wind by W.O. Mitchell?
The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood? (note to Marg: If you're going to write SF, do us a favour and *read some* first!)
The Mountain and the Valley by Ernest Buckler?

I'm torn. I can't decide which is "worst."

There are a lot of others which don't quite make the "worst" list, and a lot I'm avoiding just on general principles (say, like The Bridges of Madison County).

On edit: Thought of some more. Gee, there are a lot. Guess I'm opinionated or something. :) Or maybe Ted Sturgeon was right all along.

[Paul Hood]

43. What books do you like?

[Interrobang]

56. Oh, tons and tons, but I've read tens of thousands of books...

Heck, I *own* something like 2000 books, and I'm having trouble compiling a list of my 50 worst books ever. (Some years ago, I did a piece on My 50 Books You Should Read Before You Die, and this makes an interesting sequel...)

[jobycom]

75. Well, since you dissed many of my favorites, give us some of the others!

Damn. You didn't like "The Great Gatsby?" I can't even imagine that. But oh well, I hate Faulkner, and I catch grief for that, so c'est la vie.

Seriously, what kind of books do you like? Top three or five.

[SiobhanClancy]

89. I also have read "tens of thousands" of books....

And I would have a hard time coming up with an absolute "worst". It's such a subjective term,and I've found that the "worst" usually don't get finished(by me,at least). "Dubliners" would never be on any such list,though...it's actually a favourite of mine:)

[BurtWorm]

113. That would make a good thread here

Books to Read Before You Die. I might post it myself one of these days.

[tom_paine]

35. "Battlefield Earth" by L. Ron Scamartist

Written like a third-grader. Dull dialog. Characters unfleshed out and cardboard aqnd who gives a shit whether they live or die.

The overall idea not bad, but trying to wade through 1000 pages of that juvenile writing is ponderous, awful.

[maggrwaggr]

37. Cujo by Stephen King. Almost anything by Stephen King reeks

to high heaven.

[Gogi]

40. Stephen King was once quoted as saying that

his writing was crap and he did it for the money. As one reviewer put it: if the author denigrates his own writing the reader is forewarned.

[Interrobang]

57. That's damn funny, because...

I'm all over Stephen King's writing, and as far as I know, he's never said a thing like that. In fact, there's a heck of a lot of his writing that he's done NOT for the money, that (as near as I can tell) he's been pleased to have published because without his name on it, it'd be pretty well unplaceable.

Personally, I think King is one of the best living North American regionalists working, mostly since he's detoxed.

[geniph]

125. The Gormenghast Trilogy

slogged through the whole goddamned depressing thing, then said, "now what the hell was THAT all about?"

However, that was only one of the most annoying. The worst book(s) I've ever read are probably John Norman's Gor novels. The first five were at least marginally interesting, but all copies the remaining 478 in the series should be consigned to a woodchipper STAT.

[AquariDem]

127. I just hate the way he covertly bashes hippies

There's something anti-hippie in three books of his I've read (Cujo, Needful Things and The Tommyknockers). Remember Steve Kemp? Ugh.

[SeveneightyWhoa]

39. Ralph Nader's book..

..about his presidential run.
Very pointless to read unless you're a huge Nader fan and want to know every detail of his campaign to help the Republicans take the White House in '00.

[NightTrain]

135. Get a life, please

The only one who kept Al Gore out of the White House was Al Gore. Now how about ya stop yer damn whining and help get King George the Lesser out of our White House next year?

[NightTrain]

41. "Embrace the Serpent" by Marilyn Quayle & Nancy Northcott

That's right, folks. Back around 1991, Marilyn and her sister--undoubtedly taking full advantage of the fact that Danny Quayle's family has a publishing empire--got their one and only novel onto the shelves.

"Embrace the Serpent" was an ostensible espionage thriller set at some point in the foreseeable future, in which Fidel Castro dies and all hell breaks loose viz-a-vis (sp?) who's going to succeed him. The "hero" is an African-American Republican--who, like all the Republican characters, leads an exemplary family life--who finally manages to convince the president--who, like all the Democratic characters, is a naive party animal who will stick his dick into anything with a pulse--that an evil commie plot is afoot in Cuba.

I only read the novel because the New York Times Review of Books gave it such a bad review. I had to see if "Embrace the Serpent" was as laughably awful as the critic said. (I specifically recall the reviewer citing the book's "tin-ear dialogue, conservative prosletyzing (sp?), and Democrat-bashing.") Let's just say it was and leave it at that!

[jiacinto]

42. Jane Eyre

nt

[Supply Side Jesus]

44. Runaway Jury- Grisham. What a POS!

[Cat Atomic]

48. Moby Dick. Sorry. I hated it. I still hate it.

[whirlygigspin]

51. The Bible

Even though it started with a bang and had lots of sex and
violence, it is really too long and has a bad ending.

[BurtWorm]

110. The Bible...lots of in-out in-out and ultraviolence.

Horrorshow, droogs!

[SPQR]

116. Remember what Homer said about the Bible:

"EVERYONE in it's a sinner. Except this guy."

[RandomKoolzip]

53. "slapstick" by Kurt Vonnegut.

Listen, I know Vonnegut is a hero too many, and I agree wholheartedly with his political views, but I have always found his literature cloying, precious, and unmoving. "Slapstick" in particular was so fucking cutesy ("Hi-Ho." every eighth paragraph; ugh, spare us, oh clever one...)

Runner-up:
The Updated Book of Rock Lists, edited by Dave Marsh, 1993
The first was great, but Marsh has turned into the "grumpy old trivia expert" (in the words of Joe Carducci) since its publication. Marsh's odd opinions dominate the book, and render it unreadable to anyone except those who share his view that music should be subservient to politics.

"Case Closed" by Gerald Posner

Because it is complete shit.

[kyrasdad]

55. It'a a tie

Slander or Treason by Ann Coulter

So many words, so few facts...

[Hong Kong Cavalier]

58. "Naked Empire" by Terry Goodkind, or...

Anything by L. Ron Hubbard. (Especially Battlefield Earth)
I used to enjoy Goodkind's Sword of Truth series, until he started on this major anti-socialist crusade in his books. Everything after the fourth book was about the "evils" of the Imperial Order and their goal for equality. True, the Order was evil, but Goodkind's motives were painfully clear: liberalism is evil, and conservativism is good.

L. Ron Hubbard just sucks as a writer.

[jobycom]

76. OH MY GOD That was a horrible book!!!!!

Terry Goodkind is a horrible writer but a great storyteller. "Wizard's First Rule" was so infuriating in it's lack of writing style (on about page twenty he has his lead character and obvious hero throughout the book get in a fight in which he "knew he was going to die--" despite the fact that it was in no way possible for the character to die. He then had his character "know" the same thing at least twice a book.) that I would throw it down in disgust two or three times a night, but the story and characters were so engrossing that I kept reading. But when he got to "Pillars of Creation" I couldn't take it anymore. He stopped being a writer and became a preacher, and a bad, bad one at that. You think he drove him his extraneous message enough times? Think he was subtle enough? He would go on for ten pages on a single rant that had nothing to do with the story and was nothing more than a single thought said a hundred ways, none of them original.

Blech!!! Sorry about the rant. A good series ruined by a writer too full of his own importance.

[leftofthedial]

59. the bible

It's like a handbook for sadomasochists.

[wickerwoman]

60. Catcher in the Rye

I probably shouldn't write this just before bedtime but what a total load of bollocks.

Granted, I probably read it when I was too old (21) and too female but I had a lot of trouble drumming up sympathy for old Holden.

On edit: OK, it's tied with the Marquis de Sade's 100 Nights in Sodom and Gomorrah(or whatever it was called.)

[GOPisEvil]

72. I agree with you.

OK, so maybe it's not the WORST book I've ever read, but it is FAR, FAR from a favorite. I read it too late in life I think. I just felt like smacking Holden upside the head and screaming at him to grow the fuck up.

Maybe if I'd read it at 16 instead of almost 30, I'd feel differently. :shrug:

[jobycom]

77. But, that was the point

You were supposed to be infuriated by Holden. The book reads one way for those able to relate to him, and another for those who are beyond that stage. It's the ultimate unreliable narrator novel. Mark of a great novel.

But that's okay, you have my permission to not like it. Am I not gracious? (Sorry, that's what I get for watching Gladiator. Pomposity.)

[GOPisEvil]

82. Oh...ok then...

Maybe I got it more than I thought I did. :-)

I guess the book itself is fine. Maybe I was rebelling against all those people who name their kid Holden. I always wanted to ask why they'd want to name a child after THAT character. :shrug:

[Kolesar]

83. Wow, three posters keeping last night's thread alive

"the ultimate unreliable narrator novel" I think I shall keep that thought in my mind and roll it around for awhile. Are you a literature instructor?

[Kolesar]

80. I think the "dirty words" in it made it "controversial" many years ago

My classmates read it in high school, but I did not read it until I was 26. Holden Caufield's world of a sulky prep school boy was so different from my life growing up in a mill town that I could not relate to him.

There was one passage I liked: Never wish someone "good luck". When you wish them good luck, it sounds like you are saying that they are going to need luck to get by. To this day, I still tell people "best wishes".

My high school buddy read with glee the section describing Ackley as "walking around with a red hot poker up his ass". That is kind of funny.

[tishaLA]

61. Oh goodness. I'm finishing my PhD in English...

and there are so many. But right now, I will place my vote for Wide, Wide World by Susan Warner.

Some of my favorite books are really terrible by conventional standards, but at least they are interesting.

[peacefreak]

65. Shipping News

Yeah, I know that there are lots of people who loved this. I tried reading it about 4 times. I felt it was "Beans of Egypt" with a better class of people. OK, Beans was no prize either. Funny thing though, I loved "Shipping News" the movie.

[Kamika]

68. Haroun and the sea of stories

by Salman Rushdie

I think he came up with it during a visit to the toilet or something

[libertad]

69. Last of the Mohicans.

nt

[jobycom]

79. I can't agree, but only on technical grounds, since I couldn't finish it.

So it's on my short list of worst books I started but abandoned.

[libertad]

85. I had to finish it, I was in high school and it was our assigned book.

n/t

[Kolesar]

84. I could not finish "The Heart of Darkness"

There was something about Joseph Conrad's writing style that I found difficult to read. He did not learn English until he moved from Poland to England as an adult, and I think that that might have been part of it. It was also 19th century literature, which is structured differently in my observation.

edit:I meant this as a response to the original post.

[bif]

74. I NEVER finish bad books

I give a book 50 pages more or less. If it grabs me, I keep on to the end. If it stinks, I quit reading it. Life is too short to read lousy books.

[Catfish]

81. I'm compulsive

I usually finish any book I start no matter how bad. Only exception I can think of is The Ya Ya Sisterhood or something like that. It was given to me highly recommended but I thought it was close to the worst book I've ever tried to read.

[youngred]

87. Great Expectations

Long, boring, stupid, obvious, annoying, excessive, shall I go on?

I love Dickens, I simply cannot stand that book though.

[AquariDem]

129. Aw man, that's one of my faves!

I thought he did a good job of developing the main characters, if not the supporting. Kept me hooked 'til the end.

[DS1]

91. The Old Man and the Sea

Slowest, most excrutiatingly boring book I've ever laid eyes on. Then again, I hate everything that overrated hack Hemingway wrote.

[Loonman]

92. Contact, by Carl Sagan

It's her father!

[Cocoa]

95. the Pelican Brief

I bought it for a road trip, I felt ripped off at the $2 I paid for it at the used book store, and ended up throwing it out the window of the moving car.

[VermontDem2004]

96. The No Spin Zone-by Bill O'reilly

[Nailzberg]

131. Me too, I feel your pain.

:puke:

[Emboldened Chimp]

100. "Friend of the Earth", by TC Boyle

I don't know what it was--maybe it was a main character, who kept doing the stupidest things despite his better judgment, and all for no rhyme or reason. The secondary characters were supposed to be funny, particularly the washed-up rock star, but they weren't. And though the entire world was thrown into chaos because of global warming, we only see a speck of what happened. Boyle does not have a head for the dystopian future genre. His brand of humor--off-beat, and sometimes downright strange--just doesn't work well with a plot centered around worldwide catastrophe.

[BiggJawn]

103. "Of Human Bondage" W. Sommerset Maughm....

Drier than a popcorn fart, and only half as satisfying....

Gawd, that book SUCKED!!!!

And I won't even make any jokes about how I was waiting to get to the part with the nipple clips....

[nothingshocksmeanymore]

104. The Celestine Prophecy

A crock of shit that read like a "See Dick Run" reader.

"We saw the green pastures. The energy wafted up from the scenery. And it was good" :eyes:

[ChoralScholar]

105. How to Keep your Kids on Your Team

by Charles Stanley

Loaned by my in-laws. Dr. Stanley made it a whole THREE PARAGRAPHS before he attacked liberals.

[joeybee12]

106. Atlas Shrugged! Infantile writing, simple minded and dead wrong

philosophy combined to make the biggest piece of s**t ever published!

[regularguy]

109. This book made me realize that I was a liberal.

It would be funny if it weren't 14,256 pages long.

[joeybee12]

111. The truly scary thing is that there are people who worship this piece of

crap and the stupid b**ch who wrote it! They're almost like cults!

[BurtWorm]

128. I've never wasted a second reading an Ayn Rand novel.

I've wasted too much time reading some of her essays to know it wouldn't be worth it.

[joeybee12]

132. I read it just to inform myself about her whacko theories

It was unbearale, but I felt ready to disupte anybody--for a while--now I've forgotten a lot about it.

The Fountainhead also sucked, as did the movie version of it, even though it had Gary Cooper.

[Bertha Venation]

108. I can't remember - I quit reading after page 4. eom

[MisterP]

112. 3001

The only time I felt violence towards a book; good thing I didn't have a stake, a mallet, and a shovel with me.
It takes a Kubrick to rescue a Clarke.

[Snow]

114. Gotta go with "Silas Marner"

moralizing, puerile piece of crap beloved of school "literature" curricula. Like others have noted, if a book is obviously a stinker, I never finish it unless forced. For other bad books recommended by the authorities, "Moby Dick" is right up there, and most of Hemingway as well. "Snows of Kilimanjaro" is an exception, but I've never seen that on a required reading list. Likewise, when Steinbeck is assigned, it's usually "Grapes of Wrath" - I enjoyed "Cannery Row" much more. And speaking of Steinbeck, wouldn't "The Pearl" make an excellent replacement for "Old Man and the Sea".

My daughter had to suffer through "Silas Marner" in her junior year of high school in an honors English class, because it was short. The teacher stood up front, held up two books - "Silas Marner" and "Ivanhoe" - and the majority voted for Silas because it was shorter!

[rustydog]

115. My Turn- Nancy Reagan

let me explain that I did not cancel the book of the month club offer in time and it was sent.
I made it past the 2nd chapter, threw up and never read the rest.
Nancy Reagan is a shallow, hollow human being who is concerned about appearances only and about Nancy and Ron only. The rest of the world can go to hell. I can see why Reagan was silent about Aids for 5 years..They just don't care who dies as long as it isn't them.

[TrogL]

118. Anything by Gnid Blyton

especially her early stuff

• racist
  
• sexist
  
• right-wing
  
• homophobic
  

[mitchum]

124. Pynchon's "V' is just a shaggy dog story for geeks

other modern suckfests:
"The Corrections"
"Fear of Flying"
most John Hawkes
all Donald Barthalme
most magical realism

[Hand]

130. From the Closed World to the Infinite Universe...

By Bernard Koyre--one of several choices for a freshman history paper. Interesting subject--very!--but this Koyre guy was the WORST, most BORING, pedantic blowhard you ever read. I slahed the damn book to ribbons in my paper and garnered a B+ for my efforts (and that was a GOOD grade from the sadistic bastard prof--I think he hated the damn book as much as I did).

[DrWeird]

133. The Country Doctor.

It's too kafkaesque.

In The Prison Colony was great, though.

[Mass_Liberal]

134. this one book by Clive Clussler

this horrible author whose work is frequently found at WHS Smith's in airports across the world. His main character is called Dirk Pitt. Ugh....

[Ramsey]

136. The Red Pony

By John Steinbeck, I freaking hate that book!

Oh, and in second place for worst book ever: As I Lay Dying, by William Faulkner. Yes, I know this is a controversial opinion, but it sucks! Unreadable.