I recently found out someone I admired was a KKK member in the 50's

[Shell Beau]

and 60's. Uuugh! How could I not have known that? It made me feel sick. He is now in his 80's. But I admired this man. He was a mathematical genius. He was such a kind-hearted person (or so I thought). It is amazing the things you can learn about someone. This one really blew me away. I think he finally got past the ignorance and hatred. I have always thought hate was taught. But once you are old enough to realize, it is your responsibility to educate yourself and make changes. I still love him, but hate that about him. I don't want to elaborate on who this guy is (not a family member, though).

[GOPisEvil]

1. Sen. Byrd was a member of the KKK, too.

However, he's disavowed it now and apologized for his membership. People change over time. What are this person's thoughts and actions NOW? Those are more important that what they did 40-50 years ago.

[Shell Beau]

2. I've never asked. This person

is in a nursing home now, but it never occurred to me to ask such a question. I just always assumed this person was the most caring and generous and loving person out there. That is what makes it more shocking.

[Heidi]

3. Agreed.

People should get some credit for enlightenment, which more often comes as a result of a difficult personal process than as a sudden epiphany. (If I were still held accountable for all the stupid things and thoughtless things I've said and thought in my life, probably I wouldn't have one friend in the world. :blush: )

(Edited, left out a word)

[Shell Beau]

4. I agree, but saying stupid things and actually joining a hate

group, there is a difference. I know things have progressed and changed a lot since then (hopefully he has too). But who knows what this group did in the 50's and 60's, or what he contributed to this group.

[GOPisEvil]

5. Well, if this person was an important figure (or desired to be) he might

have HAD to join. In the south at that time, a lot of networking was done through KKK membership. I won't say that excuses it, but there's a difference between being on the membership rolls and out in someone's yard burning a cross.

[Shell Beau]

7. I am not sure about any of the details, but his daughter said

when she was little, she found the hood in the trunk of the car. So, I am not sure as to what part he played (if any) in the group. But the hood was pretty damning.

[GOPisEvil]

8. Well, like I said, people change.

Look at George Wallace...

[Shell Beau]

11. I hope he did change. For his sake.

[Heidi]

6. I'd ask him.

Really, if I were bothered by something like that in someone's history, I'd ask them about it in a non-confrontational way. It's really the only way to find out whether you have reason to be bothered.

Good luck, Shell Beau. :hug:

[Shell Beau]

9. Thanks! I would ask and I may, but

he is in a fragile condition these days. It would certainly be awkward, but I will give it some thought!

[Taverner]

19. Truman was in the KKK as well

and recanted...and of course Truman was the one to integrate the troops...so people can change...

[youspeakmylanguage]

10. To me it would depend on the extent of his crimes...

If never participated in any violent acts, then I could see forgiving him if he has truly denounced what he once believed. But if he participated in Klan violence, then I would have a hard time maintaining any relationship with him. Some things simply can't be forgiven.

I once believed some things that I deeply regret now. I won't go into them, but I will say that I am glad I mostly kept them to myself and didn't actually do anything stupid. I can lock away that sad chapter of my adolescence for good. I hope this man can say the same thing.

[Shell Beau]

12. I agree. He was and is not a violent person at all.

In fact, he was just the opposite. But how do I really know for sure, b/c I would have never guessed this.

[AlGore-08.com]

13. You're still assuming a lot by not asking him whether he was in the KKK

You're assuming a lot of things based on his daughter saying she saw a hood in the trunk of his car. How old was she when she saw this hood? Did she ever discuss this with her father or other adults in the family - - did they confirm that he was in the KKK?

If not, you don't know that he was a Klan member. You just know that his daughter says she found a hood in his trunk when she was a kid.

You can either continue to assume the worst about him, or you can ask him (and his wife if she's still living) whether he was in the Klan or not. But also be aware that you could be putting yourself in the middle of - - or starting - - a family fight.

[Shell Beau]

14. His wife confirmed it to me. She said she was so angry when

she found out. I wouldn't assume such.

[AlGore-08.com]

15. Sorry for assuming you were assuming then :)

Then it all comes down to whether you want to discuss it with him.

If he regrets having been a member, he might welcome the chance to discuss it. And you'll have the opportunity to learn, first hand, how he came to regret it - - what changed in him and his life to turn him around.

Or, if he doesn't regret it, if he's still a racist, you've learned something equally valuable - - that you can be mistaken about people, and that people with horrifying politics can still seem like really nice people.

Interestingly enough, there's an article on the BBC site today that covers the same ground:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/4734661.stm

My grandad the Nazi

Dan Tetsell grew up with an uncomfortable family secret - his grandfather was an SS officer. The more he's got to know about him, the more Dan realises his grandad was, in many ways, just an ordinary guy. And that's what's worried him.

(snip)

I don't mean a Nazi in the jobsworth sense. No, unfortunately, my grandfather Kurt Martens was in the Leibstandarte SS Adolf Hitler, the premier regiment of the Waffen SS.

Kurt was killed or went missing during the fighting around Prague castle sometime in early May 1945, so I never knew him. In fact, my mother was born a few months after his death/disappearance, so she too never got to know the man.

(snip)

A few years ago my mother uncovered a few rolls of undeveloped film that my grandfather had brought back with him while on leave from the front. They are a fascinating insight into a angle on the war we rarely see - the Waffen SS at play.

(snip)

Looking at these photographs it's impossible to avoid what one always hopes wasn't true about the Third Reich - these men are not monsters. No matter what sort of gangsters, charlatans and psychopaths they may have been following, the vast majority of the German people, even the vast majority of the Waffen SS were normal people.

In fact, my grandfather liked football and swimming, he seems to have been more normal than I am. And his two last letters home speak of a loving family man desperate for the war to end so he could return to his pregnant wife and young daughter.

And that, I suppose, is why I find this microscopic story of an insignificant part of the Third Reich so fascinating. If it shows that my grandfather can not only stand aside while bad things happen but actively take part, then it could happen to any of us. It's a lesson that's been taught again and again, but in this anniversary year it's worth hearing again.

[Shell Beau]

16. Very interesting (and similar). I may

discuss it with him, but as I mentioned earlier, he is in a very fragile state. He is very old and is in a nursing home on a feeding tube b/c a medicine he takes causes him to choke. His mind is not fragile and I know he would remember all. I need to build up the courage to do it first.

[China_cat]

17. Try finding out that your great-grandfather

was a founder of the klan in western PA. Found out when my grandfather died. My grandfather who I never, ever (and he raised me so I wouldn't have just missed it) said or did anything bigotted and never allowed me to, either.

[Shell Beau]

18. It is hard to find out someone like that

was part of such bullshit hatred. I am just glad that I am brighter than that, and I try not to judge people, but when I do, it is b/c of their actions rather than their race, origin, nationality, etc.