What is considered to be an appropriate Bar Mitzvah gift?

[dancing kali]

I'm going to be attending my honorary nephew's Bar Mitzvah on Saturday. What is the protocol here? Should I just write out a cheque? What would be considered to be a reasonable amount? Would it be inappropriate to give him something that a 14 year old boy would be into... like a video game or dvd? Should I give it to him at Synagogue? The luncheon? The formal dinner/dance that night? Or should I just drop it off at the house before hand... they live close by.

I'm quite serious here... I really have no idea of what is expected... other than to keep his mother from going bats from all the preparations.

I've never had the opportunity to experience a Jewish ritual... I'm looking forward to this.

[sakabatou]

1. Money good.

Try a miniture torah on a stand.

[Bumblebee]

2. usually money or a book certificate

[rockymountaindem]

3. I know at my Bar Mitzvah I was showered with gold coins.

Hehe, I wish.

One of my friends from Canada got $14,000 at his Bar Mitzvah, invested it and now it's paying for all his college tuition.


Seriously, whatever you would get for a high school graduation present would be fine.

[madaboutharry]

4. Money is good.

Ask around as to area what is now being giving in terms of money. I would avoid giving money at a synagogue since it is traditional not to handle money on Saturday, unless they are reformed where things are more liberal. I would drop by the house and give it beforehand.

[RPM]

5. Scotch

if you are now a man, you can drink like a man.

...smooooooth.............

[RummyTheDummy]

6. Family sized pack of Trojans

Hey, he's a man now. I'm just sayin...

Seriously, if he's into video games a gift card might be nice.

[dancing kali]

9. His mother would kill me...

after she picked herself off the floor from laughing.

However I will pass this on to one of his "honorary" uncles... they would happily give him such a gift... just to poke at mom. The kid hasn't shown any inclinations in that direction yet... other than getting caught in the bathroom at school comparing sizes with another kid a few years ago... Mom was pretty cool about it - she simply gave him a little talk about appropriate places.

[jim3775]

7. Boggle n/t

[Chicago Democrat]

8. A Hooker

(kidding)

Money

[Bat Boy]

10. Socks.

Wait...no, that's Hanukkah.

No idea. My Judaism stopped just short of that.

[dancing kali]

11. Many thanks folks.

I appreciate the suggestions... and the humour.

I wasn't aware about money on the Sabbath thing... while mom is probably as loose as possible while still being in the community, the Synagogue is the one she grew up going to and she described it as being somewhere between reformed and conservative but not orthodox. I'll drop off the cheque before Saturday.

I'm betting his mother already has condoms squirreled away for the moment he does start displaying interest.

Hookers -- I think I'll wait until I know what his orientation is first.

Scotch -- His grandfather keeps the best scotch I've ever tasted. I don't know who makes it but there aren't enough "m's" in smooth to describe it... and I know I can't afford it.