Ok; I've got a problem I need help with.Please...

[lildreamer316]

This may seem kinda weird but it is affecting some aspects of daily life; esp. where it concerns the politics of this war.
I have what I am calling "baby sensitivity". I cannot STAND to see ANYTHING REMOTELY bad about a baby (being hurt, killed, abused, crying in relation to these, etc.etc.etc.) If the news reports anything like this (happened yesterday here; some man killed his 3 month old) I have to change the channel, plug my ears. I feel PHYSICALLY sick. I cannot read some books I used to enjoy because they talk about something happening to a baby. There is a poster here who has a pic in their sig line of a man holding his baby with blood all over it that makes me want to throw up, even though I understand it.
I'M A FRIGGIN' WIMP!!!!!
I tear up at any baby in a show, real or fiction.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME??
My argument is that I need a steel stomach for arguing with neocons about this war. I need to be able to show them these horrible pictures and speak about this without running away from it. I know that as a relitively new parent some of this sensitivity will never change, but I cannot be as active (even in this community) as I would like because of this problem.
Anyone else ever heard of anything like this? What do I do? Do I need professional help?
I really want to regain my perspective. Any suggestions would be appreciated. Thanks for listening.

[friesianrider]

1. I was never that affected by babies...animals yes, but babies no

I never felt one way or another about babies (I never really cared about babies that much to be honest - but maybe I'm weird), but feel the same as you with animals. I used to love the book Black Beauty and haven't been able to bring myself to re-read it in years.

You mentioned you're a new parent - perhaps this has something to do with it?

[lildreamer316]

3. Well

yes and no. It's been over a year and a half. I just thought it would have changed by now, but no end in sight...

[friesianrider]

5. Maybe it is just that...

You have a child now, and love that child so much and want to protect him/her. I'm sure it has changed your perspective...and it likely has at least something to do with now being a parent.

[lildreamer316]

7. Oh,

you're right, I just have a problem functioning on THIS level of sensitivity. I mean, it's ridiculous. I can't be as effective as I'd like to be, do you know what I mean?

[friesianrider]

11. Oh, of course...

As I said, I can COMPLETELY relate with my own silly level of sensitivity for animals - it makes it extremely difficult for me to function at my rescue and I've even considered giving it up because I just get SO emotional and affected by it. It's to the point where I become physically sick from the dumb reasons people just dump their pets at a shelter. It is obvious you care for children like I care for animals, and want to help, but your sensitivity is so enormous that it makes it nearly impossible. I wish I knew the answer...I'd be interested to know, too.

Have you lost anyone close to you recently? I was extremely close with my grandmother, and lost her last November (then my doggie in December, and two kitties earlier this year) :cry:. Things for me have gotten a lot worse since then and I think it has something to do with it. Have you lost anyone in your family or a friend or anything?

[lildreamer316]

12. See above; and

well; let's put a timeline on it:
(I'm 32)
Dad:1994; sudden heart attack
Mother:2004 (Jan.2; one week after my baby was born)Cancer (had since 1976)
Fiance: 2001; motorcycle wreck (died same day; with him 8 years)

They're all buried at the same cemetary. I live around the corner from my fiance's parents in my mother's house.

It's a bit of a bitch.

[elehhhhna]

18. Lil, my girls are 11 & 9 and IT NEVER goes away, imo--

I was steel until they came along and since then can't handle baby/children news either.

So what the heck is wrong with that? Emotions(horror & disgust, especially)SHOULD come into play, no? Why deny your own humanity?

[lildreamer316]

20. I was always

disgusted. Now I'm so upset I can't stop thinking about it, or sometimes (rarely) I can't sleep; or I have to constantly not watch some of my fave shows because they have babies or young children being molested or dying in the storyline. I enjoy cop shows for the deductive reasoning, not the sensationalisim (I reread my Sherlock Holmes often) but lately am having to avoid alot of them for this reason,and of course the news whenever I do watch (local mostly). It just seems to be everywhere; although I realize the MSM likes to sensationalize it and make it sound more prevelant than it is. It's just REALLY bothering me, and has been for months.

[elehhhhna]

22. The first thing I stopped watching was ER.

I know EXACTLY how you feel.

[Tallison]

16. I'm the same way

I'm pretty compassionate about human suffering, but when I see or hear about cases of animal cruelty I have to shut the book or leave the room it's so upsetting.

[enigmatic]

2. I'm the same way w/ animals

my wife, too.

I don't know what to tell you, other than I understand..

[lildreamer316]

4. Thanks so much.

Glad to know I'm not completely crazy.
That's so sweet about your wife....
Note on that:I had a finace of 8 years die on me, so I've actually faced that demon and survived...sorta.

[enigmatic]

6. I'm so sorry

:hug:

[lildreamer316]

9. No Biggie....

it was a great learning experience for me, and since I'm such a believer in reincarnation, I was alot calmer than many of my friends and his family. I firmly believe that it happened for a reason.(several actually). That may be part of my sensitivity, though. Its a process....

[nickgutierrez]

8. That IS your perspective.

I would even argue that this particular "weakness" might make you more effective than most of the rest of us in arguing against the war, because you have a perspective that is more in line with what the rest of us should be thinking. The loss of any innocent life is a detriment to society - the loss of a young child is immeasurably moreso.

[lildreamer316]

10. Yes, but

I just feel that it is a little OVERsensitive. I kinda wish I could toss some things off a little; it can be emotionally overwhelming. We all have to draw a line somewhere or we would just commit mass suicide; you know what I mean.I can't be effective because if I try to talk about it I won't be able to finish. There's no way that would be effective. I feel like I should be stronger; does that make any sense? The killing isn't going to stop anytime soon just because I can't stomach it. And I literally can't.
You do make a good point, I just need to see my way to putting it to use. Not doing very well with it atm.

[neweurope]

13. I'm no expert other than having some skeletons in my closet.

But it's usually said that feelings as strong as yours mean that there is something buried within you, something concerning either your very young childhood or an extremely frightening situation or something like that. Since this is affecting you so deeply I would ask for professional help.

I'm the same way with animals, too, as another poster has said. Which is also a handicap since we have horses. Thank god I have an understanding veterinary :)

------------------

Remember Fallujah

Bush to The Hague!

[lildreamer316]

14. Thanks

for your response; please see my post #12 above. You're probably right; I just really don't want to go the conventional route. I need someone that will not belittle my sprirituality & worldview; and I fear that will be a lttle hard to find. I guess I keep hoping I'll work through it....

[neweurope]

15. It's always best to go and DO it. *smiles*

What's happening to you is a sign of alarm already; it would be nice if things will sort themselves out but I fear usually they don't.

And I was lucky enough to find a therapist which is both excellent AND shares a lot of my views. There are some around and it's possible to find them :) I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.


--------------

Remember Fallujah

Bush to The Hague!

[LaurenG]

17. Sounds as if you are what is known in some circles as

an empath. Is is getting harder and harder to watch violent programs? Are you constantly upset and have to stop and ask yourself what set you off, only to find it was some blurb on the tv or radio that upset you?

If this is what is happening as well pm me and I'll give you my experience/take on this.
In any case you are sensitive and stuff like this upsets you. Don't watch/listen to negative stuff for awhile. I wish you a happy day.

[caty]

19. When I was pregnant

every time a commercial came on TV with a baby in it, I would tear up. "I'm going to have one of those", I would think--"they're so sweet".

I would take the pictures you are going to use and look at them several times a day until I could look at them without crying. Desensitize myself to them.

[mzteris]

21. How new?

You said: " I know that as a relitively new parent"

If you have a little one you might be transferring your anguish for those other babies into fear for your own. In a world gone mad, being fearful for the fate of our children is not crazy. That said......

If it you are a really new parent - maybe there is some post-partum depression. Or losing other people close to you, maybe there is some other form of depression.

OCD and/or post-traumatic stress disorder also can manifest itself in "fearful/unwanted" thoughts which can just get worse if left unaddressed.

If it's debilitating, it can't hurt for you to seek a professional's opinion.

Good luck. And go kiss/hug/cuddle that little one......

[lildreamer316]

24. Oh, I do..

kiss and cuddle him all the time;and he is 19 months old.
Please see post #12 aout other ppl close to me. I think that may be part of the problem; not really sure. No serious abuse issues; I mean some stuff but nothing really bad.
Dunno; thought I was pretty well adjusted; I mean I know being a parent changes your perspective but it just seems I can't stomach alot of the "normal" stuff.
Here he is:

[SmokingJacket]

23. I have peole on Ignore because of hurt babies in their siglines.

My children are now school age, but I still can't take it. Only now it's not babies, it's all children.

I don't watch TV -- don't have it -- and that helps. My friends keep telling me how much I'd love "Six Feet Under" and that I should come over and watch with them, but I saw it once and a child was killed within minutes of the beginning. I can't stop thinking about that ten minutes of TV I watched two years ago!!!!

If you're still breast feeding, that will account for some of it, but it's pretty normal. My women friends tell me the same thing. If I recommend a book, they say, warily: does anything happen to a child in it?

This is probably the new normal for you, but if it's really upsetting, go talk to a professional about it. That never hurts during the crazy early childbearing years....

[lildreamer316]

25. You really helped me there.

I think I'm gonna have to copy you in that respect (the Ignore thing.) There was a CSI episode where someone left a baby in a car. Almost have nightmares about that one. I make sure I read the description BEFORE I watch any of those crime dramas now. ( I love the deductive reasoning; not the violence--yes I LOVE Sherlock Holmes)Thank god for cable guides.
Nope on the breastfeeding.After all these responses I think maybe my hormones are just still kinda haywire. I really didn't have what you would term post-partum depression; but I think just the many deaths in my immediate circle in combo with the birth may have started some kind of problem.(see post #12)
Glad to know I'm not completely crazy and not the only one. Thank you so much!!