ESPN: Tyson says producers "interested in getting (him) involved in" porn

[Bush_Eats_Beef]

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=kamenetzky/050720

"I've talked to some people, I just talked to a gentleman named Jimmy, whose involved with Club Jenna, you know Jenna Jameson," said Tyson. "They said they were interested in getting me involved in that kind of business as well." Tyson doesn't proceed to announce a three-picture deal, but doesn't dismiss the notion, either.

Mike Tyson, the adult film actor? Crazy as it may sound, this could very well be the ticket. His real life offers endless elements for his future scripts to implement, sucking potential viewers in with a blend of fact, fiction, and the adult film industry's penchant for parodying high-profile films. If any athlete's gonna cross over, Tyson's the prime candidate. Here are a few prime suggestions for Mike's future filmography.

"Crouching Tiger, Fornicating Dragon"
Our hero, ancient warrior Iron Mike, is incensed that a rare magical tiger, a gift from his master, was stolen by a beautiful thief. It's the most special tiger in Iron Mike's entire collection, and he's determined to get it back by any means possible … So he can pawn it for the money he really needs by any means possible. After a chase through the treetops, across riverbanks and endless sword battles, Iron Mike is impressed enough by the young lady to offer her martial arts training in exchange for the tiger. She refuses … saying she'd rather have lessons in love. Cue sex.

"Porn of the Worlds"
Tyson plays Ray, a construction worker who uses an alien invasion as a means of becoming a better father to his children (unfortunately, he caps off this achievement by eating them). The aliens are intent on destroying the earth and trying to use our blood to fertilize it. But Ray convinces the aliens (who happen to be female) that their time on earth could be put to better use than killing random humans. Let's just say the results are out of this world.

[supernova]

1. No way, no how

you couldn't even pay me for that. Ugh.

[youspeakmylanguage]

4. To watch his "movie" or to "perform" with him? (n/t)

[supernova]

7. BOth!

:puke: :puke:

[Mojambo]

2. A rapist entering the porn industry

Not going to do much for their public relations.

[youspeakmylanguage]

9. I don't see the industry accepting him...

I think he'll have the same "adult" career as John Wayne Bobbitt - a producer desperate for publicity will finance one movie, market it as a "autobiography", and then drop him like a stone once the title is dropped into the bargain bin.

[Mojambo]

10. Yeah, Bobbitt came to my mind as well

Tyson is just swirling down the drain.

Good riddance, he's a pretty despicable human being (and I'm generally not a very judgemental person.)

[youspeakmylanguage]

11. I pity him...

His whole life has been a trainwreck. If he hadn't become a successful champion boxer, I think he would have been dead before he turned 25.

[ohiosmith]

3. Well he is a fucking idiot.

[regnaD kciN]

5. Any jokes involving the terms "bite me" or "eating"...

...are too obvious to even mention.

:evilgrin:

[Shell Beau]

6. I feel like I could throw up!

:puke: Yuck, yuck, yuck!

[AngryAmish]

8. This is like Roman Polanski making a children's movie

Unfortunately, he is. There is no way that fiction could be more twisted than real life.

[BigMcLargehuge]

12. I'll watch it only if David Attenborough narrates