Paul Lynde's greatest answers on Hollywood Squares . . .

[OneBlueSky]

http://www.classicsquares.com/lyndesquares.html



Peter Marshall: If the right part comes along, will George C. Scott do a nude scene?
Paul Lynde: You mean he doesn't have the right part?

Peter Marshall: Diamonds should not be kept with your family jewels, why?
Paul Lynde: They're so cold!

Peter Marshall: What is a pullet?
Paul Lynde: A little show of affection...

Peter Marshall: When Richard Nixon was Vice-President, he went someplace on a "good will mission," but instead wound up being stoned and shouted at. Where did this take place?
Paul Lynde: Pat's room .

Peter Marshall: True or false, the navy has trained whales to recover objects a mile deep.
Paul Lynde: At first they tried unsuccessfully with cocker spaniels...

Peter Marshall: It is the most abused and neglected part of your body-- what is it?
Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused but it certainly isn't neglected!

- much more . . .

http://www.classicsquares.com/lyndesquares.html

[fortyfeetunder]

1. My favorite:

Thanks for that website link. I always looked forward to seeing the original Hollywood Squares during summer vacation.

I remember Paul Lynde...and now wondering my parents had no clue I was looking at this show!!

But this was the one that I will always chuckle about.

Peter Marshall: What should you do if you're going 55 miles per hour and your tires suddenly blow out?
Paul Lynde: Honk if you believe in Jesus.

I think there was also a variation to this particular question related to losing the brakes on the freeway.

[NoMoreMrNiceGuy]

2. Paul's delivery was so funny he could say anything and make me laugh

Add to that the witty answers he came up with and I think he is one of the most underated comics of all time. Unfortunately, he had a hard time dealing with his homosexuality and turned to alcohol and drugs which ended his life at a young age...I think we was like 55 or so.

[hlthe2b]

5. Shoot, just looking at his facial expression (as in the pics)...

made me laugh. I loved that guy...

[Doctor_J]

3. Here are some more, from Lynde and others

Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

Q If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years.
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.

Q. According to Cosmo, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
A. Rose Marie: No; wait until morning.

Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.

Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I Love You"?
A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty.

Q. What are "Do It," "I Can Help," and "I Can't Get Enough"?
A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment!

Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question, Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.

Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.

Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.

Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other?
A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures.

Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.

Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?

Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark.

Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.

Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected.

Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your
elephant?
A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant?

Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex?
A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him.

Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.

Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?

A. Paul Lynde: Point and Laugh

[havocmom]

4. Paul Lynde was a gem

My favorite from that show;

Marshall: What should you do if your parakeet has a temperature of 112 degrees?

Lynde: Baste him!