My 20 yr old niece is a heroin addict who is now prostituting herself.

[IdaBriggs]

Any advice?

ON EDIT: Thank you, everyone! My mind had become so caught up in the horror, I was having trouble figuring out where to go next. I keep remembering what a sweet baby she was, how smart, how clever -- and how much I love her. I will check out each of the sites suggested.

In the meantime, prayers / good thoughts would be most welcome....

And THANK YOU for being here tonight.....

:grouphug:

[Jara sang]

1. Oh shit...

There isn't much you CAN do. You can offer your love and support and try to get her treatment. You need to let her know that while she is doing any of that stuff that she can not be around you though.

[IdaBriggs]

7. We will not let her "stay the night" unless she can pass a drug test.

Once she was told the rules, she decided not to come around anymore.

[Wapsie B]

2. What in the world would make her do that?

I'd try to get her into some kind of treatment.

[jonnyblitz]

4. because heroin is a nice buzz. that is the reason why people

do it despite the terrible outcome. seriously, its as simple as that.there is no feeling like although it is evil.

[IdaBriggs]

9. No money, no skills, and a strong urge to get high.

How does one get someone into treatment who doesn't want to go?

[Trajan]

17. That is too bad ...

she seems a likely candidate for continued use until insanity, jail or death (as they say) ....

I found this website : http://www.drug-rehabs.org/ .... But it will not be of any use UNLESS she is ready to stop ....

When someone goes over the edge like that, you may eventually decide to DISENGAGE from her, to protect your own loved ones from the negative effects of addictive behaviors, like some are mentioning here .... Do not provide shelter or money UNTIL she is dedicated to changing her behavior .....

There is one other place I know of : Rational Recovery - http://www.rational.org/ .... They are a NON AA, NON 12 step program ....

[pretzel4gore]

29. thomas de quincy and coleridge were addicts...

but that was in the day when the righteous didn't know what was best for society (and before they realized all the good jobs for the armbandit's kids as cops jail guards parole office etc)
addiction is a medical problem. prostituting herself, or stealing, or joining a troop of robbers worsens an already bad medical problem...too bad our societies are fulla dupes. during the 2nd world war, millions of soldiers etc suffered seasickness when marajuwanna is a known anti nausea medication, but because the drug and booze industries, plus righteous asshole arm bandits, intervened, the medication was denied an entire generation of servicemen (most of whom had no idea they had been conspired against by the type they later voted for ie nixon, reagan, bush)
you should make a case for the girl, say her addiction is medical, not criminal,....blame fukking society if you must, but she can get on drug maintanence program, maybe)

[HereSince1628]

3. Be careful about facilitating her problem, and for sure

talk to some people who are pro's in this.

[IdaBriggs]

16. We can't provide her a place to stay for fear of giving her more

money for her drugs. We can't "force" her into a rehab program because she is an adult. I feel so helpless! I am going to study the Nar-Anon site; hopefully that will help!

[Trajan]

5. Egads ....

As the son of an alcoholic, and as one familiar with abuse issues, I know there will be disagreement on what should (or can) be done ...

IF you can make contact with her, and let her know you CARE about what is happening, and you only want to help her help herself, then you would want to do what you can to get her IN HOUSE in a legit treatment program .... In So Cal, Fifth Avenue in Oxnard is well known for its effective programs. Perhaps her parents medical insurance could help ? .... Perhaps the city, county or state you live in provides free treatment ? ...

This is a very tough one: she is obviously willing to conduct very dangerous behaviors to affect her habit, and so is likely to resist your efforts, and so you may have no effect whatsoever ... in that case, 'hitting bottom' may be the only effective stop for her behavior. Sometimes that is what it takes for someone to see the negative impacts their drug use has on their lives. BUT you could possibly spur her treatment with care, love and concern ....

A loving heart can win some back .....

Good luck in any case ....

[IdaBriggs]

11. Both of her parents are dead; her father died from a heroin

overdose, and her mother provided illegal drugs to her, along with a "no big deal" attitude about them. There is no insurance. She has been in rehab twice -- once for six weeks, and once for two. Big surprise: she wasn't "cured."

[Trajan]

20. Wow ....

Im sorry ....

She has been 'programmed' by her early life to follow this path ....

You need to free yourself from enmeshment, IE strong emotional concern for someone who is not concerned about themslves .... neither sweet talk, interventions or pontifical pronouncements are going to be of any use .... She may will hit bottom very hard .... Damn ........

It doesnt mean you cant try though .... just DONT be used by her ..... She will take you for a ride if she can get away with it ...

I am so sorry .....

[rawtribe]

6. Have you been

to the Narcotics Anonymous site? Lots of information.

http://na.org/

[IdaBriggs]

12. Thank you! I will study it! nt

[Akoto]

8. In my opinion ...

It's really important that you get her all the help you can before this goes any further. The heroin addiction is dangerous enough. I don't even want to begin considering the dangers she could face with the prostitution.

There are lots of not-for-profit organizations out there designed to help people in your niece's position. They've often got professionals connected to them. My advice would be to contact some of these groups and see what advice/help they can give you.

[nosmokes]

10. i'm sorry,

as an addict/alcoholic myself may i suggest that you and her parents check out nar-anon or al-anon, 12 step programs for friends and family of those w/ drug and alcohol problems. unfortunately, not much is going to help your niece until she's ready. denial is mighty powerful. good thoughts, good luck.

[IdaBriggs]

13. Thank you. Her bio-parents are both dead, while her

"pseudo" step-father (mother's boyfriend for eighteen years) is an active alcoholic. She has had a rough couple of years....:(

[Lydia Leftcoast]

21. With that background, it would be amazing if she weren't addicted

I'm so sorry. :hug:

[graywarrior]

14. I second that. You can't handle this on your own.

Get some help.

[salib]

15. Yes. Check out these sites

Alternatives to the usual xxx-Anonymous programs. You do realize that the first step in those 12-step programs is powerlessness and blind faith, right?

Here are others:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/links/12stepalternatives.html

My favorite is harsh, but the strongest to me:

http://www.rational.org/

No recovery groups. No one saying they can do it for you.

[IdaBriggs]

19. Thank you. I will check them out! nt

[Trajan]

24. I was going to offer RR as well ...

But RR is of little use to loved ones of users .... SHE will have to see a need for it first: she is apparently in a deep usage pattern without seeing a 'problem' ....

I swear by RR and Trimpey's AVRT techniques .... I heard the beast talk, and I smashed it hard .... The little booger hasnt shown it's 'face' for over 3 years now ....

I think RR is the way for people to stop use. But they MUST WANT to quit first .....

[UTUSN]

18. Really? Oh, So Sorry

Advice from ME? She needs totally INDIVIDUAL attention----------I guess, from YOU.

[WhollyHeretic]

22. You should contact a professional or support group. One thing I think

could be a big help is to get her out of whatever state she lives in. I lost my best friend to heroin 9 years ago September 6th, he was 19 years old when he died. I've basically lost several other friends to heroin, they are still alive(last I heard) but their lives are totally destroyed. My friend who had died was trying to quit at the time and everyone I know has tried and most have gotten clean for months at a time but they always fall back into it. I know it may be impossible but if there was a way to get her help away from where she lives now so she can't fall back into old patterns. Heroin is a horrible drug and the hardest drug to quit.

You should make sure that she has no opportunity to get near any of your valuables and especially warn older relatives. A lot of heroin addicts will get money or steal things from older relatives.

Good luck with helping her, it is a difficult road but to save someone that young is especially worth the effort.

[dajoki]

23. she needs to be in a legitimate...

strick treatment center(no methadone clinic), but she's going have to be willing to go. you are correct in setting the rules, just let her know that you love her and will help if she is absolutely serious about getting and STAYING clean. she will need a good after care program as soon as she gets out of rehab. it is also very important she does not go back into the environment that got her involved with that stuff to begin with. and i wouldn't advise putting her into rehab with one of her so called "friends". i would start looking for a facility RIGHT NOW, as far away as possible, in the meantime try to at least get her into counseling ASAP.(their is financial aide available in most states). also the entire family must be involved. i hate to say this but if she doesn't get help she could end up dead or in prison. GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS YOU ALL!!

[Dastard Stepchild]

25. May I ask what state she lives in?

I do a lot of work with heroin users, but I'm centered out of Chicago.

[madrchsod]

30. you have quite a job..

although i never used many of the people i knew did during the late 60`s. the ones that survived are now dieing of hep c. i thought i`d never see anything that bad again but crack and meth has replaced heroin. i commend you on doing a job that few would ever do..i gave up on caring after revving two of my friends who od`..

[Dastard Stepchild]

31. Hep C is really taking its toll...

It's just terrible. A very close friend of mine has it as well.

Here in Chicago, we have a rapidly growing heroin problem, and meth is creeping its way in slowly but surely. Naturally, funding cuts are starting to hit some agencies hard, but we're all doing what we can.

As for ODs... I work with an organization that is now able to prescribe naloxone to users... thus far, it's saved about 350 lives that we are aware of. Hope we can work to save even more.

[IdaBriggs]

33. Michigan. nt

[madrchsod]

26. a wise man once told me

"you can offer a junkie a full loaf of bread and they`ll only take half" he was a chicago cop for 18 yrs and then became a minister. my friend gave up herion and years later died of drinking.
sorry but there is really nothing you can do but to understand the problem and learn how to deal with the pain of knowing there is nothing you can do. i`ve been thru what you are going thru and it`s really really painful to watch and to feel. i guess thru good fortune my famliy members somehow stopped. i think one day they decided they couldn`t go on anymore and decided to take the long hard road to recover their soul. may you recieve blessings because you care for someone who has great pain. maybe someday she will decide not to die and you can be there for her

[Maru Kitteh]

27. you have our prayers

I hope you all make it through this difficult time.

[roguevalley]

28. oh god. I wouldn't wish this on an enemy. I wish you both well and

hope something changes. Bless you and her both.

[hyphenate]

32. How ironic

I was on another board earlier and we were discussing similar topics. It is getting to the point where we all pretty much know of someone in our lives who has an addiction of some sort. What we need to do, though, is offer support to these people, without giving them ammunition to drag us into their little, destructive world.

Some people are born with an addictive personality, and it seems that there is absolutely nothing anyone can do to alter that situation. We certainly can't control anyone else as far as their addictions. We can advise, we can caution them and we can give them our love, but once we allow them to continue their spiral downward by enabling them, we are in the abyss ourselves. We need to look at the situation with some objectivity in order to keep from being dragged into that nasty situation.

It's their life--it's their choice, even if we disagree with every fiber of our being, we can't make their choices for them.

Your niece is a legal adult. Though without her parents around, you could check with her legal guardians if there are any, and see if you can't in some way suggest some restraints on her. You can also try legal means to stop her from self-destruction--if she could be declared mentally incompetent, you could find a way to take over guardianship and prevent her from destroying herself. I found this link online which gives more inforamation on that:

http://www.legal-info-legale.nb.ca/pub-manage-affairs.asp

Good luck, regardless of how it turns out.