I just got Wal-Mart's latest employee rules!

[Archae]

In my e-mail!

Dress Code: Come to work dressed according to your
salary. If we see you wearing Prada shoes and
carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing
well financially and therefore do not need a raise.
If you dress poorly, you need to manage your money
better so you can buy nicer clothes and therefore you
do not need a raise. If you dress just right you do
not need a raise.

Sick Days: A doctor's statement will no longer be
accepted as proof of sickness. If you are able to go
to the doctor, you are able to come to work.

Bereavement Leave: This is no excuse for missing
work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends or
relatives. Every effort should be made to have
non-employees attend to the funeral arrangements. In
rare cases where employee involvement is necessary,
the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon.
We will be glad to allow you to work through your
lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.

Bathroom Breaks: There is now a strict 3-minute time
limit in the stalls. At the end of 3 minutes an alarm
will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract and the
stall door will open so that a picture can be taken.
After the second offense, your picture will be posted
on the company bulletin board. Anyone caught smiling
in the picture will be sanctioned under the company's
mental health policy.

Lunch Break: Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch
as they need to eat more so that they look healthy.
Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a
balanced meal to maintain their average figure.
Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch because that is
all the time you need to drink a "slim fast"

:rofl:

[BroadwayBrat]

1. OMG!

That is funny... thanks for the laugh

[GracieM]

2. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch...

Love it

[zbdent]

3. Did Wally-world re-instate the "Potty Breaks in Alphabetical Order"

yet?

[LeftPeopleFinishFirst]

4. They should really do the bathroom rule.

nt