San Diego Homes Impossible to Sell or Flip: US Real Estate Crash (Satire)

[Bush_Eats_Beef]

San Diego Homes and Condos Now Impossible to Sell or Flip, Heralding US Real Estate Crash

http://www.thespoof.com/news/spoof.cfm?headline=s8i8827

SAN DIEGO (ARF)— When the housing market was white-hot only 8 months ago, Alex Flapper could buy a luxury downtown condo in San Diego, California with as little as $50 down and sell it one month later for a staggering profit of $4,000,000. But Flapper now says those “easy money days” are long gone and never coming back.

“I’m really stuck up the creek with a lot of property I’m trying to unload on anyone dumb enough to buy it,” he moans.

Flapper has been a “real estate flipper” and is currently trying to sell 38 condos he’d bought here with all of his quick earnings. But none of them have drawn a single offer although they’ve been on the market for more than five months. He has pleaded with potential buyers that he's willing to fantastically reduce the price of them and would be happy just to break even.

"It's totally impossible now," said Flapper, 22, who became a full-time property investor five years ago after a short career as a financial analyst for the LA Mob. "Everyone here now thinks this market has peaked and is now heading straight down the tube." Flapper says he made close to $190 million in the last three years buying and selling new condos in downtown San Diego, but all those profits are now invested in his unsold stock of housing and quickly diminishing. “I think I’m going to shoot myself,” he warned.

[tjwash]

1. In all honesty...

...there are real life assholes like that here that are screwing up the market big time for everyone else. The no down, interest only ARM's have amateur speculators, that really have no clue that R.E. is a long term investment acting like it is the stock market, just like the early nineties. And just like the early nineties, they are going to be in for a rude awakening.

[Bush_Eats_Beef]

2. Absolutely.

Some people say "Oh, I don't want to see ANYONE hurt if the bubble breaks."

And I respect their opinion, but one of the main reason that many families are now priced out of the homeowners market is the house flippers.

I'd like to see them lose their shirts.

:toast:

[tjwash]

3. Real Estate should always be looked at as long term.

I am hoping the RE flippers get everything coming to them karma-wise.

I always tell everyone that if you buy a place as an investment property, always make sure that you will be happy living in it for five years.

Why do I say this? Two reasons. First, is capital gains. Living in the house for two of five years eliminates the CG tax when you sell. Second, is you may have no choice. I lived through the market crash in 90-91, where if you were lucky you could actually find a buyer for your place in a year.