the world ends tomorrow

[datasuspect]

and you may DIE!!!

ARE WE CONTROLLED BY SECRET FORCES?
ARE ALIEN SPACE MONSTERS BRINGING A STARTLING NEW WORLD?
DO PEOPLE THINK YOU'RE STRANGE?
DO YOU??
...THEN YOU MAY BE ON THE RIGHT TRACK!

"Unpredictables" are not alone and possess amazing hidden powers of their own!
Are You Abnormal?
YES! YOUR KIND SHALL TRIUMPH!

If you are what they call "different" --
If you think we're entering a new Dark Ages --
If you see the universe as one vast morbid sense of humor --
If you are looking for an inherently bogus religion that will condone superior degeneracy and tell you that you are "above" everyone else --

If you can help us with a donation --

the the CHURCH OF THE SUBGENIUS

could save your sanity!



"You'd PAY to know what you REALLY think." --Dobbs 1961

Now you, too, can speak to benevolent aliens at the Alter of X-ist Contact. Learn Frame Straightening, Body Repair, Gripe Elaboration, FunKQu, Frenzy Techniques, Excremeditation, the Essentials of Survival and TIME CONTROL.

Attend End O' The World Drills and Chance Labs. Learn to 'Tenlike. Evaluate the so-called "accidents" and "coincidences" in your timestream. Perform long, complicated rites of initiation and rituals of Communionication. Accullate yourself to the Church, where you will be isolated, given a new diet, a new set of habits, and an altered label and appearance. The new void in your bran-pan will be refilled with corrected info and subconsciously implanted ritual experiences. Follow your FOLLIES and COMPULSIONS and become rich like us.

Explore the "Zen" of stupidity! Channel chronic procrastination into life-saving paranoia and precise anatityl MAKE WASTE!!
Find out who your Personal Saviors may be and who are the False Prophets in your life!

www.subgenius.com

[hyphenate]

1. Glad I haven't wasted much time

lately on cleaning house, then!

[Vinnie From Indy]

2. Unexplained Cow Mutilations are Waaay up this year!

It's got to mean something!

[jim3775]

3. SLACK!

Edit: Oh yeah, Hail Eris too.