Do you dread the Holidays or love them?

[SOteric]

Some people are absolutely thrilled with the holidays, seeing family and friends, cooking, baking, shopping.

For others it seems that regardless of what things may be going right in life, the holidays drag everything back into a swirling, toilet-like hole of depression and foreboding.

And of course, there's likely some grey area.

I love the holidays. With enough Quiche Lorraine and Bloody Mary's for breakfast, my family's actually pretty tolerable. And the festive mood everywhere picks me up even if I was otherwise feeling blue.

How about you?

:hi:

[Don_G]

1. I'm Dreading Them

First holiday season since my Mom's death and my brother is a greedy, @#*% free republican.

[SOteric]

3. I understand Don,

The first holiday season after my mother died was pretty hard, too. Mum used to hit the holiday kitchen baking pies and issuing orders like a field marshall directing troups. I can't believe how much we missed that.

Honestly, it does get more managable. :hug:

[cosmicdot]

20. been there, my friend

the first is the most difficult ...

I used to enjoy the holidays ... the annual dysfunction which often ensued soured my spirit ...

mine are very quiet

[Piperay]

26. I know how you feel

Christmas was my mother's favorite holiday it has been really hard since she died (which was two days after Christmas in 1997). I guess one of the reasons I dread the holidays is because of missing her.

:hug:

[VOX]

44. Right there with you, Don. Lost my mom this year, too.

Yesterday, my wife was cleaning off the glassware in anticipation of Thanksgiving, humming along with the radio, very much into the gravitational pull of the coming holidays.

I couldn't escape the idea that my mom will *not* be there, and, in fact, we will be making a stop at the cemetary on Thanksgiving Day for a toast at her niche. I'm grateful that we are able to do this, but it is very, very weird.

Hang in there, and let the good memories rule the day, as sad as it is.

Best --

[Maple]

2. Other

A family dinner is nice. I skip the frantic shopping, the horrible Xmas carols, the ridiculous gift ideas (buy mom a car!) and the religion part of it.

I prefer the Solstice idea...as an atheist.

And enough with the avalanche of plastic, the Dickens Victorian Xmas, centuries out of date, and the overdone consumer society.

[Bronco69]

4. I hate the holidays!

Everything is so da**ed commercial! I agree with George Costanza's father on Seinfeld, "Festivus for the rest of us!"

[mlawson]

18. 1000% with you, Bronco69!!!

Already, the f-----g media is featuring smarmy voices reminding us about "this holiday season". And attempting to PROGRAM us into believing that if we aren't going to have the TIME OF OUR LIVES "this holiday season", then it's OUR fault for not spending enough money!!!

I'm already depressed, and six fucking weeks or more to go!!!!!

[Deja Q]

5. Apart from being able to get Christmas lights, I'm not keen on this time

Forced capitalism hijacked what was once a religion holiday (the birth of Christ).

Not that I am a Christian, but I certainly will give them some respect. I'm amazed more Christians don't go after the reich-wing for the sacriligous usurping.

[Supply Side Jesus]

6. I usually like them....but

since me and my girl are about to break up, I am really not looking forward to it this year. Except the eggnog :P

[SOteric]

9. Oh, poor SSJ...

A little extra rum in that nog for ya? :hi:

[Supply Side Jesus]

35. thats what i'm talking about!

heres to three years! :beer:

[roughsatori]

7. I love the holidays. I love to give presents and decorate

And my relatives are not so bad after they all have gone to church and come home to a few drinks. I rarely like presents that people give me, but I excel on picking out gifts for others. I keep a little notebook and when ever I am talking to a friend or family member and they mention some kind of unusual thing I write it down to purchase later. I keep a few gifts in the closet wrapped that I can give if anyone shows up with out a present or if my relatives bring a friend with them I don't want that guest to feel left out.

[SOteric]

11. Great idea!

About the all-purpose gift in the cupboard!

[ayeshahaqqiqa]

8. Sufis, they say

celebrate all holidays, but I find the commercialism of Christmas as a definate turn-off. I'd rather give gifts to others at other times of the year. Thanksgiving I like, as I feel it is the one holiday that can bring persons of differing beliefs together.

[SOteric]

10. I hear ya!

But Christmas doesn't have to be commercial. Sure, - it's pretty in your face. My family has always been oriented toward the less commercial aspects, so we don't really let much of the adverts sink in. We're not all that special. If we can do it, I'm sure other folks do, as well.

[Nay]

31. Amen, Soteric, I love the holidays because we do the same thing.

It's all very low-key at our household. None of the running around to the malls. Lots of home baking, home decoration with natural materials like pine boughs and fall leaves, inviting friends over for a big holiday dinner where everyone wears jeans and brings a dish plus its recipe.

We put up and decorate our solstice tree to the sound of Pavarotti singing Christmas songs and with mugs of homemade hot chocolate at our lips. Wonderful. When we turn on the tree lights, we rush outdoors to oooh and aaah at how it looks in our front window.

[THUNDER HANDS]

12. I hate holiday music

It's soooo irritating.

[SOteric]

13. Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell rock...

Buwaaaahahah! :evilgrin:

[scarlet_owl]

14. I love everything about the holidays except

having my family over. My sister comes into my house and has to be critical of my decor and she insults me in my own home, my mom is just plain crazy, my stepfather is annoying and really gets on my nerves, and my sister's boyfriend never takes his hat off inside, even at the table, and that really bothers me. And then there's the dishes afterwards. Nothing pleasant at all about this family.

[Nikia]

15. I used to like them

Now I live far away from my family. It is difficult to get there. We haven't decorated for the holidays because we have very few people over and it is just the two of us. When we go to my in laws, it is just us and his parents. His mother cooks too much food and wonders why she has lots of left overs. His mother buys me everything on my list which takes the fun out of getting presents. My husband is used to this and doesn't appreciate the suprise aspect of Christmas. I think it is pointless to buy exactly what someone wants. When I used to try and suprise him, he asked me what I got him while I was sleeping and I told him evidently. This takes all the fun out of it for me.
As a child, I went to four or five family gatherings and we all appreciated suprise gifts.

[Skittles]

16. can't stand them

I always volunteer to be on-call. I despise the phoniness and the materialistic greed I see.

[hussar]

17. Couldn't agree more

All through the rest of the year you and everyone else is an asshole but holiday time "good will to all men" give me a break

[LastKnight]

19. my stance on it...

i can tiptoe through the minefield of thanksgiving, dodge the whirling blades of xmas... dodge the bullets of new years... but then thiers always that cupid bastard waiting to nail you a little later...

the holidays sucks for the antisocials and introverted types... like me...

-LK

[mlawson]

21. Holiday lovers seem to assume that EVERYONE

loves the holidays. WRONG!!! And like religion, many try in some ways to FORCE the holidays on everyone. If I might make a few sincere suggestions:

--- Please do not ask people you don't really know, if they have a "BIG" xmas planned. They might not, and endlessly repeated questions like that make it much worse.

--- If you see someone looking very sad during the week before the 25th, please do not make a huge thing of wishing them a "Merry Christmas". Chances are, the reason they look that way is because of the holidays, and they will probably feel MUCH better, starting Dec 26th. "Happy New Year" or Boxing day, would be better.

--- If you know that someone is going to be alone over that period, or just WANTS to be alone, please do not go on and on and on, in front of them, about all YOUR wonderful fun: "Oh, WE did this, and WE did that", and "I have so many invitations, and things to DO, that I will NEVER get it all done", etc etc ad nauseum. And inviting them to something will not necessarily help, either; the last thing that many holiday haters want, is to be a in a room full of the opposite types. The Christmas Carol was a fantasy, after all.

[SOteric]

29. It's always a good idea

not to be a presumptive, compassionless, insenstive clod of a person.

Unfortunately, people who truly are such types of person will not read these warnings, see themself and adjust their behaviour.

I know your post was well-intended, but I can see just as much harm in not doing some the things you warn against as in doing them. There's just as much potential for despair in realising that even one's eejit coworkers couldn't be bothered to offer a few phony good wishes for the holidays.

Sensitivity and a genuine interest in people can solve a lot of the 'should I/shouldn't I' issues that go in one's mind. Would that it came in pill form and we could just slip a bit in someone's morning coffee.

[hippiechick]

40. AGREED !!!

The holidays and all the marketing crap are aimed at couples, families, and people with lots of disposable cash.

Those of us who are none of the above get to spend 3 months on the outside looking in and being asked questions like 'So what are you and your boyfriend <husband, S.O.> doing for Christmas?' then having to explain that there is no such, and/or coming back to work AFTER the holidays and being subjected to the water-cooler talk about what cool gifts everyone got/gave and dreading being asked because you have given/gotten nothing due to your financial and or 'single' status.


I FUCKING HATE THE HOLIDAYS !!!!



:hippie:

[mlawson]

43. Oh, I know!

Have you ever suspected that many many people have been *programmed* to do all the stuff they do during f-----g December??? If you can stand to listen carefully to them, you might hear lines like, "Well, tonight we HAVE to go to X's party, so I HAVE to buy them all gifts, and also stop by and pick up some liquor, etc etc." Or, I have ALL these relatives to buy for, and I have ALL these cards to send, etc etc"....

My answer is, NO, you don't have to. (With the exception of gifts for small children, I guess.) You can make separate agreements with all your friends and relatives, that from now on, you won't exchange gifts. Believe me, many will welcome this. My friends and I accomplished this years ago, and it works perfectly, with no hard feelings.

People CAN deprogram themselves on this thing. I did it when I was about 15. No regrets.

[ChoralScholar]

22. I saw gallons of Apple Cider at the grocery store earlier

It's almost time for me to make some Wassail. Yes... the holidays are fast approaching, and I enjoy the heck out of it.

[The Raven]

23. I look forward to the holidays each year!

It's the only time of the year where I'm actually happy.

The Raven

[Piperay]

24. I look forward to Halloween BUT

I HATE what comes after and the day after Halloween feel a sense of dread. Here on out is just a waste of time where everything in my life gets put on hold because of Christmas. :argh:

[Piperay]

28. Also I HATE

how the stores start up with all the Christmas stuff as soon as Labor Day and they really go full blast as soon as Halloween ends. The whole jumping up of the season is such a turn-off. :puke:

[Capn Sunshine]

25. The commercialization has burned me out

It used to be....I dunno, "different". There was a vibe that ended about 1989.

fucking corporatists.

[mlawson]

27. And every commercial begins with

"THIS holiday season".... Which implies two HORRIBLE ideas: 1) YOU, the listener, are so programmed with this shit, that you will spend yourself into debt, THIS year, too! and 2) there will, every year, be yet another 'holiday season'!!! x(

[Ophelia]

30. Annoying relatives make me tense.

But I like the fun stuff too! I love singing especially and holiday goodies.

[leftist_rebel1569]

32. For the first time in my life, I'm dreading them

Normally, I would be happy when the holiday season comes around. I'd see my family who I may not see until Easter, and then until the Fourth of July. I'd spend lots of time with my friends, who would be as cheery as I would be. And being someone of my age, I would recieve lots of presents without spending too much on other people because of the lack of income.

But, this year's different. I won't be getting as much gifts as years before because money is starting to become a problem, but that really doesn't matter too much. I don't care about gifts as much because there's less and less I want. So far, all I think that's on my list is a mirror for my new room. But spending time with my family and friends is going to be tough for me. I'm thinking that my loneliness is going to get to me. Sure, the coming break from school in December will be nice, but I'll still have lots of work to do (and I mean LOTS of work). Basically, i'll still be feeling the stress of work while out of school. That, and spending the time with my friends is hard. I just got over something girl-related recently that took much longer than I expected and hurt quite a bit. I'm fine now, but seeing some of my friends with their near perfect-seeming relationships that have been dating for several months probably won't help. Holidays tend to bring out that emotion of love that others seem to have so easily returned to them that I don't.

But hey, I think i'll be ok. I mean, it could always be worse. Like, in Don_G's case, I think my problems seem petty compared to his (big hug, buddy...hope everything works out for you :hug:). That, and I might find someone who would like me back in the time. Who knows, I've seen weirder shit happen. But, I still dread the holidays and I have a feeling of imminent pain. Sorry about the bitching about something that isn't even for sure, I just wanted to let this out because i've been thinking about this for a few days.

(oh, and after looking at the way I typed all this, that doesn't sound a thing like me talking. :P)

[Kenneth ken]

33. aren't 2 & 4 the same answer? n/t

[ewagner]

34. Why don't we drop

the pretense of Christmas being a religous holiday and just make it a pure Commercial holiday? Why dont' we give prizes for the family that drives itself into bankruptcy with Christmas spending the fastest? Why don't we make purchases based on driving the GDP up instead of celebrating "peace on earth"?

That's why I hate the holidays!

[Snow]

36. Ya'know a funny thing about being in a country where the usual

western holidays aren't celebrated, for two years, was that I found myself feeling loneliest and most pitiful on the local holidays. Korea's a very family/clan oriented country, and of course I didn't have one with me. People were very kind, though, and did their best to include me. Really terrific people. Guess that's why I married them.

[nuxvomica]

37. Starting last year, we changed the gift-giving rules in my family

We each picked two names from a hat so each person gets two presents. The rule is you can spend as much or as little on supplies as you like but you have to make the presents yourself. So you can write a poem, mix a music cd, knit a sweater, prepare a meal, whatever. I did two paintings though I hadn't painted for decades and the subjects were things the recipients really cared about. All the gifts were like that: personal, creative and thoughtful. Everyone was excited and a little anxious at the unwrapping but we all loved what we got. It was the best Christmas ever.

[Skittles]

38. the very idea that RULES must be applied

to GIFT GIVING is just sad.

[nuxvomica]

39. Not really

We actually had no rules before and everyone gave according to his capacity. Some in my family are well off while others struggle. We love each other and support each other but we all have felt the pressure of commercialism during the holidays. We agreed upon these rules as a shield against that influence and it worked. No sadness here I am happy to say.

[fortyfeetunder]

41. another effing year dealing with the outlaws

I hate the holidays with a passion. It got worse after my mother died because my monster in law assumed since I had no mother (my dad is still alive) I am obligated to spend all the winter holidays with them. And they take it out on me by giving me shit -- and I do mean shit because it smells like they stored it in their bathroom for Christmas....

I get depressed from November 1 to January 2.

I think this Christmas Day I will volunteer at a homeless shelter or something, anything to get out of looking at a woman past due for a dirtnap.

[curse10]

42. The Holidays ruin shopping

all the idiots come out. Even going to the grocery store is more difficult during that time of year. For those of us not celebrating the holiday it's a real pain in the ass.

[mvd]

45. I LOVE the holidays!

Everything about it. The Christmas carols have some of the most beautiful melodies, IMO. I'm a non-practicing Catholic, but I still appreciate the religious part of it - and I feel really good. Christmas brings out the child in me, too - it still feels like a magical time. As for the shopping and displays, they just serve to remind me of a time I love. I like getting things for my loved ones as well as receiving. Plus, I shop relatively early. I understand that based on your experiences, you can feel differently. But you can't ruin it for the holiday lovers like me. :)

Kind of busy now, but had to get my 2 cents in. I always look forward to Halloween being over..

[VOX]

46. "12 days of Christmas? One day of Christmas is loathsome enough."

Laurence Harvey's great line from "The Manchurian Candidate" always makes me laugh.

There are some aspects of the holidays that I enjoy -- the conversation, the food, the fireplace.

But I do not care for the short days and early darkness, the crass commercialism, the desperate shopping, the obligations, the forced "good time," even though you may not be feeling 100%.

I breathe a sigh of relief when the holidays are over. I'm even more relieved when February turns to March, and the promise of spring returns.

[TheZoo]

47. I hate them

Especially after Marie's passing.

Fu-k them, they're all about $$$ to me now. I would have voted for the option about February, but that's Valentine's day.

Wake me up when it's Groundhog's Day. I can't even really say that since we did live in Punxsutawney during that time.