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datasuspect Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Thu Aug-11-05 10:13 PM
Original message
when people ask you:
"what do you do?" within 2 seconds of meeting you, do you find this a bit intrusive?

i always say that i am independently wealthy.
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lpbk2713 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 12:12 AM
Response to Original message
1. It is, really.



The unspoken message is "Are you important enough to be taking up my time?" I usually find a way to find someone else to talk to.
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Orsino Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 02:03 PM
Response to Reply #1
53. Good grief.
I never read that into the question. It seems to me to be a perfect conversation opener with someone you don't know well. Requesting a bit of not-very-personal information doesn't seem intrusive, can lead to further chat--inconsequential or not--and it's easy to lie if one doesn't really wish to answer.

I don't believe in telling people what they can and can't take offense at, but I'm not understanding your position.
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WeRQ4U Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 12:14 AM
Response to Original message
2. It is a rather odd question.
Kind of like when people ask my wife if she's breast feeding our little boy. THat always strikes me as rather intimate for a stranger to inquire about.
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Floogeldy Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 12:19 AM
Response to Original message
3. I always say: "I just lay there."
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Jamastiene Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 07:39 AM
Response to Reply #3
29. Bwaaahahahaha
:rofl: Good one. I have told people that I am a full time bum before just to get a reaction, but I like your's better...
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ghostsofgiants Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 12:22 AM
Response to Original message
4. You have to make up something really outlandish to tell them...
"Well I'm the tooth fairy, but I also moonlight as Santa Claus once a year." Something like that.
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AllieB Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 12:25 AM
Response to Original message
5. It's a way people try to get a sense of who you are
and unfortunately, people in this country define others by their jobs and possessions.
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Spider Jerusalem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 12:29 AM
Response to Original message
6. Intrusive and annoying...
I often want to say I'm a professional Jesus impersonator, available to turn wine into urine (sorry, haven't gotten the water into wine thing down) at their next wedding or bar mitzvah for a reasonable fee...

Or, depending on my mood, I'll say "I read, write prose and poetry, appreciate music, take photographs, sketch, play chess..." et cetera. Which probably isn't what they wanted to know, but then they shouldn't have asked.

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sleipnir Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 12:34 AM
Response to Original message
7. "I do whatever the voices tell me."
n/t
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enigmatic Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 01:13 AM
Response to Reply #7
12. Correct answer!
I'm saving that for the next time!
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u4ic Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 03:00 AM
Response to Reply #7
14. THAT is priceless!!!
:rofl:
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datasuspect Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 07:24 AM
Response to Reply #7
23. oh yeah!
do you mind if i borrow that one?
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knowbody0 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 12:45 AM
Response to Original message
8. "nothing"
usually freaks them out.
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Spock_is_Skeptical Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 12:48 AM
Response to Original message
9. Yes, it can be intrusive.
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mykpart Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 01:06 AM
Response to Original message
10. That's not as bad as when they ask what your husband does.
As if they already know you couldn't possibly be very important on your own.
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datasuspect Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 07:24 AM
Response to Reply #10
24. ugggh
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Lydia Leftcoast Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 01:07 AM
Response to Original message
11. I find it unimaginative
Edited on Fri Aug-12-05 01:09 AM by Lydia Leftcoast
The answer in my case always leads to the same conversation, so I almost feel as if I should record the routine and play a tape whenever the subject comes up.

I've always enjoyed meeting people who take a long time to get around to that question.

When I was in grad school, the equivalent question was, "What department are you in?"

I always preferred the men who took hours or even days to get around to that question.

BTW, during my period of unemployment in the 1980s, I joined a church choir, and when I was introduced, the director asked, "And what do you do?" And I answered, "Nothing," which got a round of applause from the choir.
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eauclaireliberal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 01:46 AM
Response to Original message
13. RE: "when people ask you:"
"what do you do?"

"I insert suppositories, withdraw blood for lab testing with really large needles, take temps where it's easiest to get...anything else? No? Not to worry, this won't hurt a bit."
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eauclaireliberal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 11:48 AM
Response to Reply #13
45. n/t
Edited on Fri Aug-12-05 11:49 AM by eauclaireliberal
n/t
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yurbud Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 03:10 AM
Response to Original message
15. If the question bothers you, it needs a follow up--WHY do you do it then?
a lot of people work to live instead of live to work.

if you don't give a shit about your job and its something to pay the bills, say so.

Or say what your real passion is, like collecting pygmy goat porn.
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NMMNG Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 03:53 AM
Response to Reply #15
17. You collect pygmy goat porn?
Freeper!!!!
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yurbud Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 01:46 PM
Response to Reply #17
50. It helps me understand the hillbilly right
Hillbilly Hitler art:



Blog:


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datasuspect Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 07:26 AM
Response to Reply #15
25. i like what i do
but i prefer some idle chit chat before someone starts "qualifying" me.
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Dastard Stepchild Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 03:13 AM
Response to Original message
16. Meh..... people never know how to get the conversation started...
This seems to be a tried and true method. Since I love what I do, I never mind answering the question, but I suppose I would be of a different mind if I was feeling any sense of dissatisfaction about my life.

Not that I am suggesting you feel that way. :)
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datasuspect Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 07:29 AM
Response to Reply #16
26. i am actually learning
that happiness isn't contingent upon what you do, where you live, or any other externality.

it's what's between your ears.

i'm convinced a person could be happy shovelling shit if they have the right attitude towards life.

often, the self-important types who feel tremendous insecurity often want to "size you up" during a conversation.
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Dastard Stepchild Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 11:11 AM
Response to Reply #26
43. Oh... I suppose it very well could be a "size you up" thing...
I tend to be somewhat oblivious to that - years of being teased and tormented as a child keeps me from getting overly flustered when people try to "put me in my place."
But, I can see your point - the question can be used for good or for evil.
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fleabert Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 04:11 AM
Response to Original message
18. I like to say, "When, exactly?"
and yes, it's intrusive. and it's not at all what I am all about. I am more interested in what people believe in, rather than what they make money doing.
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khashka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 04:15 AM
Response to Original message
19. Whatever I can get away with n/t
Khash.
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Omphaloskepsis Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 04:25 AM
Response to Original message
20. I usually tell them..
"My family is doing fine." And I fucking hate it when people ask me that. But that is what I hear 95% of the time when I see someone I haven't seen in a few years. My income doesn't define me..

If I get a few drinks in me. I tell them I touch their kids while they are at work. That approach usually doesn't end well. But, it makes me giggle.
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WannaJumpMyScooter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 04:27 AM
Response to Original message
21. Very intrusive and rude.
I usually say, well I don't talk to social climbing shits like you if I am in a bad mood, which if I am somewhere that question is asked, I most likely am.
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bliss_eternal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 04:27 AM
Response to Original message
22. I hate that question--but 'how old are you' always pisses me off
more!

My recent response to the age thing is,"age is only relevant when discussing wine or cheese..."

It either gets a laugh, a quizzical look, or a comment about how accurate the statement truly is.

A friend of mine used to say (to the age query),"is it your manners or your business? In other words, do bad manners make you ask me my age or is it any of your business?"

I LOVE that one!
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datasuspect Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 07:30 AM
Response to Reply #22
27. that is a good one!!
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Jamastiene Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 07:37 AM
Response to Original message
28. I tell them I sleep, eat, go to the bathroom
and put my pants on one leg at the time just like anybody else does. Yes, I find it utterly intrusive and shallow. Like what something has to do for a living is ALL that defines a person.
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rbnyc Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 08:03 AM
Response to Original message
30. It depends on the context.
If it's at a party or someplace where people are trying to get to know one another, I don't see the problem. You can learn a lot about a person by what they do.

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Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 08:16 AM
Response to Original message
31. I guess it could be considered intrusive,
but it also could be someone just trying to get a better understanding of who you are. I don't typically find it to be nosy. But it does sound that way now that you mention it.
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Misunderestimator Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 08:17 AM
Response to Reply #31
32. What do you do, Shell?
:D
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Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 08:33 AM
Response to Reply #32
34. As someone else said earlier, I am independently wealthy!
Edited on Fri Aug-12-05 08:33 AM by Shell Beau


Yeah right, I wish! I really am in the oil and gas business, and it sucks b/c the people here have royalty interests and when the cost of oil and gas goes up, the get off all over themselves while people like you and me suffer.
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Misunderestimator Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 08:45 AM
Response to Reply #34
35. You're in the oil and gas business?
But.... what do you DO in the oil and gas business?

(And I'm really just kidding in asking this, you know.)
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Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 09:03 AM
Response to Reply #35
36. I know you're teasing. But it does suck b/c everyone here
that gets the royalty interest off of all our oil wells is ecstatic. While people like you and me have to pay an arm and a leg to fill our cars up. Oh well! I have a job and get paid well, I can't complain. And BTW, what is it that YOU do? }(
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Misunderestimator Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 09:06 AM
Response to Reply #36
37. I own an oil and gas company... we're doing great right now...
:D :bounce:
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Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 09:11 AM
Response to Reply #37
38. Yeah, I bet y'all are. Can I have some royalties in some of your wells?
Just enough to bring in an extra 5 grand a month. That isn't too much to ask is it? I know some of the MEN around here (the men really prosper in this business :eyes:) can bring in $50,000-$250,000 a month on their royalties.
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Misunderestimator Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 09:27 AM
Response to Reply #38
39. You betcha... just PM me with your bank info so I can wire it.
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Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 09:45 AM
Response to Reply #39
40. Wow! Is it that easy! Okay, I will be sure to give you my account number!
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lukasahero Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 12:02 PM
Response to Reply #40
47. Be sure to include your SSN and PIN. ;) eom
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movie_girl99 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 08:33 AM
Response to Original message
33. i don't like it when people ask but
i think it's just a way of making small talk. It doesn't offend me but it does bug me a bit.
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lildreamer316 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 09:47 AM
Response to Original message
41. Very interesting for me
because they really don't want the answer. I dread it because of all the inevitable questions and immediate judgement that usually follow.
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DeposeTheBoyKing Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 09:49 AM
Response to Original message
42. You should have my life
I'm married to a Pakistani who grew up in Karachi and whose native language is Urdu. Whenever I meet one of his friends (and he has a seemingly endless supply!), the wife invariably asks me the following questions:

1. Do you have children?
2. How long have you been married? (and then a pause to consider why we have no children when we've been married 10 years)
3. Have you learned to speak Urdu?
4. Have you learned to cook Pakistani dishes?

I get very sick of it. When I'm in a group of these women, the talk is ALL about recipes and their kids. Even if they're educated, that's the main topic of conversation. Because I have no kids and don't cook 10 types of biryani, I have nothing to say. I always wish I could go to the mens' sitting area and discuss politics and sports!

End of rant.
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Shakespeare Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 11:24 AM
Response to Original message
44. Then don't EVER move to L.A. n/t
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eauclaireliberal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 11:50 AM
Response to Original message
46. Hey! Here's a good one!
See if you can guess which movie this is from:

"So what are you doing with your life now, Martin?"

"I'm a professional killer."

"Oh, good for you. That's a growth industry."
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lukasahero Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 12:03 PM
Response to Reply #46
48. I know I know!!!
Grosse Point Blank, right? Excellent movie.
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eauclaireliberal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 08:53 PM
Response to Reply #48
55. Yep!
I love that flick. Funny as hell.
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Ron Mexico Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 12:07 PM
Response to Original message
49. "Lottery winner."
And technically, that's correct: I won about $1400 some years ago. Not a cent before or since, but in the strictest of technical terms I'm telling the truth.

You'd be amazed at how transparent and "friendly" some of these assholes get when I say that.
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scarlet_owl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 01:52 PM
Response to Original message
51. A lady asked me that one time upon meeting me for the first time.
I answered honestly. I told her I was a homemaker. She gave me a dirty look and said "Well I guess that means your husband makes a good living." I wanted to smack her. We're dirt poor because I'm on disability and my husband makes a crappy wage. What I really love are the people who just have to ask why I'm on disability. But that's a whole other can of worms.
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Lowell Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 01:57 PM
Response to Original message
52. Special Investigator for the IRS
usually shuts them up. I'm not of course, but by time I get around to straightening them out they are gone.
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bridgit Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 02:05 PM
Response to Original message
54. i tell them i work for vandelay industries...
x(
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Syncronaut Seven Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 11:37 PM
Response to Original message
56. I almost invariably tell them drug dealer or terrorist
But then I explain it's really a cover for CIA. Is that illegal?

Watch them stuff that in the little box they had prepared for me. :evilgrin:
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