The Worst Mix Tape Ever, part II

[RandomKoolzip]

Y'all know what time it is.

Here's the deal: I started this thread a few months ago, some people loved it, some didn't quite understand it, most people avoided it. To this last group, I say: may you lead a happy, productive life, knowing that you are a better person than I will ever be.

Let's say you wanted to make everyone at a party feel sincerely uncomfortable while maintaining a hip, happenein' facade. Or there's a guy/gal who's getting too clingy and you're not ready for a relationship and you want them to get a bad impression of you without hurting their feelings. Or you want your friends to think that you're an odd and somewhat unpleasant person. Or you just have a bunch of people in your house and you want them to leave....okay? What would you do? You'd make them a really bad mix tape!

That's right! Not just a tape of bad songs, no! That's too simple! What you want is the APPEARANCE of sincerity, so the real unsettling thing to do is to juxtapose songs with an ear to the greatest possible uncomfortability factor; i.e. "The Pretender" by Jackson Browne followed by "Back Dat Azz Up" by Mystikal. Get the idea?

Yah. Uh, don't just say, "Yoko Ono" or just give me the name of one artist/ band/ song. No es bueno. What I want is enough material to fill up two sides of a 90- minute cassette or a 80- minute CD-R. The odder the juxtaposition of songs, the better. Feel free to be as obscure as you want.

Man, is this ever gonna suck!

Okay, here's mine:

SIDE ONE:
"White Lines" -Melle Mel
"The Gates of Delerium"- Yes
"Apology for an Accident"- American Music Club
"Easy Lover" - Phil Collins & Phillip Bailey
"Guilty of Being White" - Minor Threat
"Your Mama Don't Dance" - Loggins & Messina
"A Plague of Lighthouse Keepers"- VanDerGraaf Generator
"Crazy in Love"- Beyonce

SIDE TWO:
"How You Remind Me"- Nickelback
"Ballad of the Green Berets"- Sgt Barry Sadler
"Dyslexia"- 100 Flowers
"Step in the Name of Love"- R. Kelly
"Thing with a Hook"- Half Japanese
"Hell in a Bucket"- Grateful Dead
"Don't Leave Me Now" -Pink Floyd
"Suspended in Air"- New Kingdom
"Whiffenpoof Song" - The Godz
"Beautiful" -Christina Aguilera
"Don't Try to Call" - Husker Du
"My Mummy's Dead" -John Lennon
"Never Scared" -Bonecrusher
"T-Bone" -Neil Young

Whew!

Let the pain parade commence!!!

[The Raven]

1. this will be good enough...

any country music song. :) :P

[RandomKoolzip]

4. I know you mean well, but....

One song cannot fill a whole tape.

PS I hate country, too!

[The Raven]

7. nah...

I mean any # of combinations of country music :)

[RandomKoolzip]

10. Okay, how about a mix tape made of entirely Darryl Worly and Toby Keith?

Puking yet?

[no name no slogan]

2. I would say all four sides of

"Tales from Topographic Oceans", but that's way too damn easy.

[RandomKoolzip]

8. Hey man, lay off Yes!

I love Topographic Oceans (no, I'm not kidding!) and just a section of one side of that album could really spice up a punk/ hip hop mix tape and make it the kind of thing you'd go to jail for giving to somebody....But yes, I have to agree, Topographic Oceans by itself could clear a room full of people who aren't tripping.

[pink_poodle]

3. Here are a couple of CD's I just made in case you see anything you.....

could use from here for suggestions:

Leftfield - Shallow Grave
Ministry - New World Order
KMFDM - A Drug Against War
28 Days Later - Rip It Up
Atrocity - Taste Of Sin
Ministry - Jesus Built My Hotrod
Atrocity - Shake Your Heads
Fear Factory - Hurt Conveyer
Hate Dept. - Little Let Down
Fear Factory - Genetic Blueprint
Sepultura - A Hora E A Vez Do Cabelo Nasce
Ministry - Just One Fix
Ministry - Crumbs
Fear Factory - Obsolete
KMFDM - Godlike
KMFDM - Beast
Fear Factory - Shock
Nitzer Ebb - Let Beauty Loose

and # 2
28 Days After - In A Heartbeat - (God Speed You Black Emperor)
28 Days After - Ave Maria
Die Form - Cantique
Die Form - Savage Logic
Atrocity - Sound of Silence
lio - Rapture
Die Form - Deep Inside (L'ame Immortelle)
Goldfrapp - Utopia
Atrocity - Maid Of Orleans
Die Form - Silent Order
Lacrimosa - Copycat
Atrocity - Taste Of Sin
Nitzer Ebb - Let Beauty Loose
Atrocity - Don´t Go
Letzte Instanz - Der Geigenschüler
Death In Vegas - Killing Smile
Nitzer Ebb - Hearts And Minds
28 Days After - Rip It Up
Yanni - Flower Duet From Lakme (Delibes)
28 Days Later - In Paradisum

I love mixed up combos!!!!! I have loads of these!

[RandomKoolzip]

5. If you could thread some Melissa Etheridge or Carly Simon in there,

then you'd be talkin'!

[pink_poodle]

6. Sorry, but I can't go there. Nyet to both of them.....................

Just never been able to do either of those. I like some of the ones you have in your mixes though!!!!

[RandomKoolzip]

9. That's the point!!!!!

The goal here is to make a BAD mix tape. Interspersing terrible songs with great ones, etc. The juxtapositions are what make it interestingly bad.

[pink_poodle]

13. I get it!!!!! Well there is no shortage of awful tunes ..............

out there. ha ha ha!!!

[Cleve Steamer]

11. Here's the link to the original, archived thread

...for the masochists among us:

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=show_topic&forum=105&topic_id=49421

From one of my posts in the earlier thread:

--------

I wanted more of a challenge, so this hypothetical CD-R is organized into song pairs that are intended to provoke maximum offense (and also provide some jarring stylistic discontinuities):

Michael Jackson - "Smooth Criminal"
Hypocrisy - "The Pleasure of Molestation" (death metal)

Vanessa Williams - "Save The Best For Last"
J. Geils Band - "Centerfold"

Great White - "Once Bitten, Twice Shy"
Carcass - "Burnt To A Crisp" (grindcore)

Ike & Tina Turner - "Proud Mary"
Prodigy - "Smack My Bitch Up"

Def Leppard - "Bringin' on the Heartbreak"
Dismember - "Dismembered" (death metal)

INXS - "Never Tear Us Apart"
Suicidal Tendencies - "Suicide's an Alternative"

Cher - "If I Could Turn Back Time"
Brutal Truth - "Walking Corpse" (grindcore)

Ritchie Valens - "La Bamba"
Slayer - "Raining Blood"

[RandomKoolzip]

14. B E A U T I F U L !!!! That's what I'm talking 'bout!!!!!

Man, you get the gold star and a gentle kiss on the foot. I'm laughing my ass off! La bamba/ Reign in Blood?!? You nut!

Cleve Steamer, you are officially "kosher" in my book.

[pink_poodle]

15. Lovin' You by Minnie Ripperton. Enuf said! -nm

:

[RandomKoolzip]

18. Yeah, but what would follow that song

to make it the most unsettling experience possible for the listener?

Not that that song by itself isn't unsettling as all hell....

[Cleve Steamer]

20. You want something REALLY offensive?

The Minnie Ripperton tune could be followed by any song by the death metal band Cancer.

[pink_poodle]

22. But Minnie Ripperton IS the offensive song. -nm

:

[RandomKoolzip]

23. As they say on MST 3K: "Owie! Stingie!"

That'll leave scars!

[Cleve Steamer]

19. Thanks, and here's another repost

My mix CD in post #11 is organized around the cruel and offensive meta-commentary for the song/artist pairs (e.g., the Def Leppard drummer who had his arm ripped off followed by the death-metal song "Dismembered"). However, the following track list (also reposted from the original thread) is more viscerally disturbing:

SIDE A
Darryl Worley - "Have You Forgotten?"
Cannibal Corpse - "Stripped, Raped & Strangled" (death metal)
Theme song to "Three's Company"
Burzum - "Hvis Lyset Tar Oss" (black metal)
Jermaine Stewart - "We Don't Have To Take Our Clothes Off"
Bethlehem - "Schuld Unsres Knöchrigen Faltpferd" (black metal from the soundtrack to Gummo)
Pat Boone's cover version of "Crazy Train"
Carcass - "Exhume To Consume" (grindcore)
William Shatner - "Rocket Man"

SIDE B
The Carpenters - "We've Only Just Begun"
Hypocrisy - "Infant Sacrifices" (death metal)
Eric Cartman as J-Lo - "Taco-Flavored Kisses"
Mortification - "J.G.S.H. (Jesus Grind Satan's Head)" (Christian-themed death metal)
Toby Keith - "Angry American"
C.W. McCall - "Convoy"
Korova - "Latin Dreams in Turpentine" (experimental, atonal black metal)
The Chipmunks - "Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer"
Napalm Death - "Multinational Corporations" (grindcore)
Neil Diamond - "Coming to America"

[RandomKoolzip]

24. Do you have the other half of this amulet?

Cleve Steamer, ladies and gentlemen. Take a bow, that's some hot shit!

Is it possible to actually MAKE me that tape and send it to me? God, I'm giddy just thinking about inflicting it upon some coworkers of mine....

[Cleve Steamer]

29. Believe it or not

...with two or three exceptions, I have everything on that list in MP3 format. (Some time ago, I went on a year-long MP3 downloading spree from Usenet. I ended up with over 100 GBs of death/black metal and 200 GBs of mainstream music, mostly in the form of complete albums.)

Two of the exceptions are the Worley and Keith tracks, which I know only by reputation. In theory, I could replace those two songs with a couple of MP3s from white supremacist "artists" like Rahowa (rock) and Johnny Rebel (country). Talk about room-clearing power!

Sadly, I don't have a tape recorder, and I no longer have the capacity to burn CD-Rs. For now, my worst mixtape will remain only a dream . . . :(

[binaryline]

12. A couple of years ago

this cute, tortured-soul emo girl gave me a crush mix that would be so perfect for this thread. It was an *awful* CD... I think that she was trying to impress me with her knowledge of obscure music and just forgot to make the mix actually sound good.

It was sweet, though. Kinda ;-).

[RandomKoolzip]

16. Post the track listing!

I bet it was PAINFULLY earnest with a capital "E." Were there any jarring song combos? Like "Udu Wudu" by Magma followed by "Theme From CHiPs?" (Okay, that is pretty unlikely, but we can dream, can we not?)

[binaryline]

17. Unfortunately

Cute Emo Girl's mix has gone on to a better place. It was, however, the most painfully earnest (it was also heart-rending, intense and full of deep wordless longing ;-) ) mix I've ever had the pleasure of knowing.

Hee-hee. I shouldn't make fun-- I'm single now and could really use a cute emo girl to make me a mix.

Wait, wait... one of the songs was the Mt. Holyoke a cappella group doing a version of Monica and Brandy's "The Boy is Mine". Except it was "The Girl is Mine", cuz, you know... lesbian chorus ;-)

[RandomKoolzip]

21. Ah, very clever.

Have you heard of Kathy Fire? She is/was a mind-shearingly strident lesbian folksinger of some renown who recorded some material so unpleasantly militant and shrill that she's gotten something of a cult following among outsider music fans. Her song "Mother Rage" can be found in the audio archive at incorrectmusic.com. It's almost inspiringly harsh.

I've still got a mix tape that a girl gave me in high school, and this girl was a big fan of the Eagles, TV theme songs (like the theme from CHiPs) and Steve Miller, apparently. Rest assured, that particular courtship died on the vine....

[binaryline]

25. If there's one thing I love

it's shrill folk music performed by militant lesbians.

Seriously, though... is this a free download? I'd love to have "Mother Rage" in my collection for silly mix tape purposes.

on edit: okay, I just read the lyrics, and I laughed so hard I woke the dog up.

Come Sisters, rise
We have been scarred by this war upon all womonkind
Stand side by side
We can healed by the passions of lesbian pride!

[RandomKoolzip]

28. Oh yeah, all you need is realplayer.

Seriously, have a few yucks. It's my favorite site on the web after DU (and GBV.com). And if it's silly you want, it's silly thay have. They archive entire shows, so having to wade through setlists and stuff is required, but patience pays off in golden moments in this case....

[RandomKoolzip]

32. When the first line of a song is

"Get your rapist's hands off my body" you know you're in for some premium grade saturday night entertainment! Can't wait for the 12" house remix of "Mother Rage" to start burning up the clubs....

[Cleve Steamer]

26. Great link!

Wow, that's a treasure trove of some interesting, uh, "finds":

http://incorrectmusic.com/audio/

I haven't run across stuff that obscure since someone sent me a link to MP3s of white supremacist music! :scared:

Note to self: revise worst mixtape to include anything from Rahowa.

[RandomKoolzip]

27. I thought they were called Rahowa 13?

Ick, the bizarro world version of Crass.

Incorrectitude...my favorites on that site are the Y. Bhekhirst and Sri Darwin Gross. Oh, and since I'm getting a definite "metal" motif in your earlier posts, thers's a guy named Anton Maiden who does solo covers of Iron Maiden tunes entirely on the synthesizer and sings in a voice that could be considered the opposite of Bruce Dickinson's. YOU MUST HEAR his version of "Run to the Hills."

[soup]

30. Obscure? No, but I've just made myself very ill

YMCA - Village People
Feelings - Morris Albert
Harper Valley P.T.A. - Jeannie C. Riley
I Love Rock and Roll - Joan Jett
Midnight at the Oasis - Maria Muldair
Party Up (up in here) - DMX
Both Sides Now - Judy Collins
Get Up, Stand Up - Bob Marley
Short People - Randy Newman
D-i-v-o-r-c-e - Tammy Wynette
Jesus Just Left Chicago - ZZ Top
Go Away Little Girl - Donny Osmond
Somebody Kill Me - Adam Sandler
Fly Me To the Moon - Frank Sinatra
Bye Bye Bye - Nsync
War - Edwin Starr
I Hope You Dance - LeAnn Womack
Jump Around - House of Pain
Fields Of Gold - Sting
I Love Rock and Roll - Joan Jett
Daddy Don't you Walk so Fast - Wayne Newton

[RandomKoolzip]

31. Hot hot hot!

Now there's a CD i'd like to burn. I mean, I'd actually like to burn the...oh, never mind.

Nice choices!


I NEED MORE!

[soup]

33. Just noticed the double-up on Joan Jett

Proof positive I spent way too much time juggling those around to get just the wrong mix...

[RandomKoolzip]

36. Pshaw. There's no such thing as "too much time...."

When it comes to something this important.

[DisgustipatedinCA]

34. Guaranteed to clear out any party

…Or cause the onset of schizophrenia for any who dare stay.

1. Ronnie Milsap – It Was Almost Like a Song
2. Queen – Don’t Try Suicide
3. Wang Chung – Everybody Have Fun Tonight
4. Tom Waits – Innocent When You Dream
5. Thomas Dolby – She Blinded Me With Science
6. John Holt – Police in Helicopter
7. William Shatner – Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds
8. Arlo Guthrie – Coming Into Los Angeles
9. Pink Floyd – Shine on You Crazy Diamond, Parts VI-IX
10. Chilliwack – My Girl
11. Roger Whittaker – Danny Boy
12. Tool – Opiate
13. Bonnie Tyler – Total Eclipse of the Heart
14. Stevie Ray Vaughan – Life by the Drop
15. Warren Zevon – Lawyers, Guns, and Money
16. Neil Sedaka – Laughter in the Rain
17. Terry Jacks – Seasons in the Sun
18. Neko Case – Ghost Wiring
19. The Amboy Dukes – Journey to the Center of Your Mind
20. Bruce Cockburn – If I Had a Rocket Launcher

[RandomKoolzip]

35. Bravo! Bravo!

What we have here is one truly disturbing flow of tunes. I'd hate to be tripping and hear that CD! Very nice, Disgustipated!

Jeez, I feel guilty that I have no actual prize to give for the best tape/CD.....Just imagine that I'm giving you a back-rub or something, okay?

[DisgustipatedinCA]

37. I'll skip the back rub

and I'll just pretend that you're paying for the institutionalization that I so desperately need. And that the nice people at The Center let me play my songs in the Common Room.

[RandomKoolzip]

38. Oh, Camp Snoopy. I always enjoyed "song day" there....

The Center was full of nice people. I like nice people.

[RandomKoolzip]

39. Self-kick

Self-kicking this thread to give a chance for the sunday afternoon DUers to respond. Have fun!