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arwalden Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 03:01 PM
Original message
What Do You Call The Parents Of Your Spouse/Partner/SO?
Mom? Dad? Mr & Mrs ______? John & Judy?

Does it feel awkward to you to address someone who's NOT your parent by a name that's traditionally reserved for your actual parents? Or is it weird to be formal and call someone Mr & Mrs (Whatever) when they are your relatives. Or... is calling your elders by their first name too weird?

I choose the formal option. My partner uses my parents' first names.
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phiddle Donating Member (749 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 03:03 PM
Response to Original message
1. "jerks"
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arwalden Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 03:05 PM
Response to Reply #1
4. Wow! Do you say that to them directly?
Or is it just your private reference to them?
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Kire Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 04:41 PM
Original message
self delete
Edited on Fri Aug-12-05 04:42 PM by Kire
wrong location
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davidinalameda Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 03:04 PM
Response to Original message
2. I don't have a spouse or a partner or anything
:cry:
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ScreamingMeemie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 03:04 PM
Response to Original message
3. I call her mom (only when my mother is not around. When my mother
is around I tap her on the shoulder or something...isn't that odd?)

My husband calls my parents Mr And Mrs Insert last name here. :hi:

Now separated though.
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arwalden Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 03:06 PM
Response to Reply #3
8. Any Relation To The Insert Last Name Here Family Of Baltimore?
:hi:
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ScreamingMeemie Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 03:09 PM
Response to Reply #8
14. Possibly cousins on my mother's side.
But I'm not sure. Our line gets mixed up when you get to the Fill In the Blanks. ;)
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arwalden Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 03:10 PM
Response to Reply #14
15. Oh!
:rofl:
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LisaM Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 03:05 PM
Original message
DOCTOR! Can you believe it?
They are so attached to titles in that family. He went into a care facility last April and they were offended that a staff member referred to him by his first name rather than as "Doctor."

Even funnier, his dad had a PhD and he has an MD. At their house, there were boxes laballed John Doe, MD and John Doe, PhD because they have the same first name! But they called the son by his middle name, so there was no reason to even use the other name anyway. I howled when I saw those boxes.

Their stock response is, "But Lisa, you don't UNDERSTAND...." and it makes me laugh more - I think I understand all too well. Elitist credentialists!
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Shoeempress Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 03:17 PM
Response to Original message
18. But you do understand, they are arrogant asses.
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LisaM Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 03:41 PM
Response to Reply #18
28. Yeah, that side of the family is stuck up
Once we were all at a family reunion, and his aunt was blathering on about how everyone in that family is so smart, and how they all have big foreheads. They went around the entire table and looked at all their foreheads one by one, and they conspicuously ignored mine (I guess they were being polite about my small brain.)
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Shoeempress Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 04:27 PM
Response to Reply #28
35. Damn those reunions sound like such fun. You are far more polite than
I could be under such circumstances.
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LisaM Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 06:13 PM
Response to Reply #35
48. I know! Can you imagine being proud of being fatheads?
They're basically nice people but very conceited. The first time I met the grandmother (since passed away), she said, "Does anyone in your family drink?" My impulse of course was to say, "yes, as much as possible", but I politely lied and said, "oh, just wine at dinner."

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Midlodemocrat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 03:05 PM
Response to Original message
5. Grandpa.
Grandma is dead, which prevents me from ever talking to that evil, lying witch again.

Dad and Mom were my parents, it doesn't feel right to me.
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Shell Beau Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 03:05 PM
Response to Original message
6. I call them by their first names, although I did say one time
to my M-I-L that I didn't know if I should call her first name or Mrs. her first name or what. She said you can call me mom. I still call her by her first name. It is just weird to call someone else mom.
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Missy M Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 03:05 PM
Response to Original message
7. I had a difficult time calling my in-laws Mom and Dad......
my daughter-in-law calls me by my first name which is fine with me and what I prefer.
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ElsewheresDaughter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 03:07 PM
Response to Original message
9. The Outlaws...no really mom and pop
Edited on Fri Aug-12-05 03:52 PM by ElsewheresDaughter
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William769 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 03:07 PM
Response to Original message
10. By her first name.
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scarlet_owl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 03:08 PM
Response to Original message
11. I call her by her first name.
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Parrcrow Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 03:08 PM
Response to Original message
12. My Father in Law is retired from a career in the military
and he's quite liberal. I call him Sarge or by his first name.
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BikeWriter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 04:32 PM
Response to Reply #12
37. Very good. Most vets enjoy their former rank being mentioned.
Unless it's Private.
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CBGLuthier Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 03:08 PM
Response to Original message
13. nothing at all
Since my wife's parents are deceased, but to be more helpful,

My wife calls my parents by their first names.

We have been married just a few weeks shy of 20 years though.

She never addressed them as mom and dad and I don't think I would or ever did the same for her parents.

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Divameow77 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 03:11 PM
Response to Original message
16. I don't call them anything
because they are not nice people and we don't talk to them, my husband calls my mom Mary or sometimes he calls her mom.
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dback Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 03:17 PM
Response to Original message
17. I use their first names
Since I lost my mom in July, I know Judi my mother-in-law would be pleased if I started calling her "mom." But I can't--she isn't, though I care for her very much.

When we speak of them as a package, it's "The Jews." (My partner is Jewish, he converted when he met me.) Thus, we tell friends "Yes, The Jews are coming for the weekend--we've laid in lox and bagels." My partner thus takes to kvetching and saying "Oy" a lot when referring to them. (His usual description of them is "Pain in the ass.")

On the flip side, he calls my dad "Jim," but interestingly he calls my grandmother--the only grandparent left on either side--"Grandma," which she seems to like.
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Semi_subversive Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 03:28 PM
Response to Original message
19. Endora or Old Bat, but with love
My 88 y.o. m-i-l has lived with us for 10 years. She's my drinking buddy.
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arwalden Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 09:31 PM
Response to Reply #19
59. Endora? Are you kidding, Durwood?
:rofl:
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Semi_subversive Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-14-05 01:55 AM
Response to Reply #59
62. Nope!
We've had a lot of chuckles over it the last 25 years. And it's Darren!!!
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DeposeTheBoyKing Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 03:30 PM
Response to Original message
20. Dead
All of our parents are dead, unfortunately.
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yellowcanine Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 03:33 PM
Response to Original message
21. "Daddy" and "Mom" - what my spouse calls them. Out of respect and love.
First of all, my own Dad isn't living so I am happy to have someone to address that way. And usually my own Mom isn't there when my spouse's parents are around so there is no confusion.
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SidDithers Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 03:35 PM
Response to Original message
22. First names...
I just could never get comfortable calling them Mom and Dad. My wife, on the other hand, has no problem calling my parents Mom and Dad.

Go figure...

Sid
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bertha katzenengel Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 03:35 PM
Response to Original message
23. by their first names
but they love me :loveya:
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Modem Butterfly Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 03:36 PM
Response to Original message
24. My partner's dad has the same name as my partner
So I call him Doctor or Doc (he's a college professor). I call his mother by her first name. He calls my folks by their first names. No one has objected so far.
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Saphire Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 03:36 PM
Response to Original message
25. I don't call them anything.. I refuse to speak to them.
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JVS Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 03:37 PM
Response to Original message
26. Fargin bastiges
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Debi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 06:17 PM
Response to Reply #26
50. Iceholes?
:shrug:
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Kerrytravelers Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 03:38 PM
Response to Original message
27. assholes... motherfuckers... hounds from hell... slimy bastards...
bush-loving-murdererous-fundamenatlist-fruitcake-nazi-saluting-homophobic-intolerant-biggot pigs who will never be around our children unsupervised.


And that's just what I can say in public. Imagine what I really feel.\


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steely Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 03:48 PM
Response to Original message
29. Go with first names, you'll get used to it.
They should let you off the hook themselves, but if they're not with it - use their names. I say you are more sensitive to manners (in a good way) than they are.

You could also call them Mom and Dad -

Personally, I did the same thing - and I didn't like "mom & Dad" either.

Be glad you didn't ask what we'd like to call them. (just kidding)

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Withywindle Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 03:55 PM
Response to Original message
30. Brian & Elaine
Why would I call them anything else?


IMO, once you're out of high school, you call fellow adults whatever they want you to call them. His family's not formal at all, neither is mine (actually I was raised calling my parents by their first names as well, but that's a whole other thing I guess...).

He calls my parents by their first names too--bigger deal for him since my mom has a name that looks simple on paper but is really not easy for English speakers to pronounce; I'm glad I've had my whole life to get the hang of it. :)
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LeftyMom Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 04:15 PM
Response to Original message
31. First names
Which can be wierd because my mother and LeftyDad's biomom (he's adopted, they met a few years ago) has the same first name as my mom. If the phone rings and he says it's "mom" that could be his childhood mom or his bio mom, if he says it's Debbie it could be his bio mom or my mother.

Eventually somebody's getting a new appelation or my head's going to explode.
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hallc Donating Member (231 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 04:17 PM
Response to Original message
32. This is gonna sound funny...
But I don't call them anything!!! I kind of avoid the situations where i would have to call them by a name...I think it would be weird calling the Roy and Lee...and equally as weird calling them Mom and Dad. And I refuse to say Mr. and Mrs. - so its nothing for right now.
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Rising Phoenix Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 04:20 PM
Response to Original message
33. I call them by their first names
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BamaGirl Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 04:22 PM
Response to Original message
34. Out-laws ;)
Edited on Fri Aug-12-05 04:22 PM by BamaGirl
If I'm forced to deal with them face to face, I call them by their names. My husband calls my parents by their names too. Now, my best friend's mother, I call mom lol. ;)
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ahem Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 04:30 PM
Response to Original message
36. I use her first name.
I could never imagine calling her Ms. <blank>, that's far too formal for family. (Plus I never address anyone formally unless they address me the formally.) And she's not my mom, so I can't imagine feeling comfortable calling her that. She just a great woman, who I address as I would a friend--a friend who just happened to have given birth to my spouse. :)
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pitohui Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 04:34 PM
Response to Original message
38. ****heads
we haven't spoken in a couple decades


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Ilsa Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 04:36 PM
Response to Original message
39. First names. n/t
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trackfan Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 04:38 PM
Response to Original message
40. First names
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trof Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 04:40 PM
Response to Original message
41. Mom and Pop.
Since I had neither there was no confusion.
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Old_Fart Donating Member (805 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 04:41 PM
Response to Original message
42. Dust
n/t
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sundog Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 04:41 PM
Response to Original message
43. non existent
:D
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Kire Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 04:42 PM
Response to Original message
44. Colonel
If I were married, I'd love to call my father-in-law Colonel.
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terrya Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 04:43 PM
Response to Original message
45. Dead
Doug's mom and dad died several years ago. I wish I had met them.
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arwalden Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 09:29 PM
Response to Reply #45
58. Similar...
... Mike's mom died just before I met him. I love hearing stories about her and he thinks we would have gotten along with each other very well.
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SarahB Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 04:47 PM
Response to Original message
46. Arrrggghhhh!
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Pale Blue Dot Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 09:18 PM
Response to Reply #46
55. "Your Majesty" works.
Or, you could call them by their pet names for each other, "Turkey" (dad) and "Cocky"(mom). You should know that these nicknames resulted from a 4-year-old's mispronunciations, and not some bizarre sexual in-joke between the two of them :puke:.

:hi::loveya:
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SarahB Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sun Aug-14-05 02:10 AM
Response to Reply #55
63. I so want to call your mom "Cocky".
Just because it would be acceptable. It's ok though, when you meet my mom, you can call her Cocky too! Not sure what she'd do, but I'd sure love to see her face. :evilgrin:
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GoddessOfGuinness Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 04:53 PM
Response to Original message
47. It felt awkward to call them Mom and Dad at first,
but I got used to it. My mom hated it; but learned how to deal. I credit my in-laws for teaching me what kind of mother-in-law I don't want to be.

If and when my kids find partners, we'll have a chat about what we all feel comfortable with.
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Debi Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 06:14 PM
Response to Original message
49. Dead.
Cuz they're well, dead.

But my husband call my parents by their first names (as well as my grandparents).

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flamingyouth Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 06:18 PM
Response to Original message
51. By their first names.
They're really nice, cool people. I'm lucky. :)
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Left Is Write Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 06:20 PM
Response to Original message
52. I call them by their first names.
Edited on Fri Aug-12-05 06:20 PM by Left Is Write
I should add that my husband calls my parents "Mom" and "Dad" unless he's speaking about them to his own parents, and then he refers to them by their first names.
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Maat Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 09:06 PM
Response to Original message
53. Pre-blessed-with-kid: by their first names.
After we were blessed with Beloved Daughter: 'Nana and Papa.'
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tinfoilinfor2005 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 09:08 PM
Response to Original message
54. deceased.
Sorry, bad joke, because they were wonderful people. I called them mom and dad.
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MrSlayer Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 09:19 PM
Response to Original message
56. I call them by their first names.
I don't call anyone Mom and Dad except Mom and Dad. Heh.
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RetroLounge Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 09:23 PM
Response to Original message
57. I call my mother-in-law Mom
My FIL passed away before I met my wife, but I know I would call him by his first name and we would have gotten along great. I feel cheated not having had known him...

RL
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NMDemDist2 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 09:59 PM
Response to Original message
60. Phil or Gail n/t
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bliss_eternal Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Fri Aug-12-05 10:11 PM
Response to Original message
61. To her face--her first name
behind her back--crazy, evil bitch most of the time.

Thankfully, I don't have to see her anymore, so most of the time dh and I just refer to her as 'that woman.'

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