Strange, strange woman

[Not_Giving_Up]

Yesterday, I was sitting on the steps to my deck waiting for the kids to get home from school. It was 5 PM before they got home thanks to an idiot at the transportation department. It seems that they decided to try to cram two buses of kids onto one bus, and when that didn't work, they had to sit at the school and wait for a back-up bus to arrive.

A woman, whom I had never seen before, came walking up the road. she said "Hi, how ya doing?", I responded, and she walked over. She proceeded to tell me that her roomie had let people move in with them that she had said were not allowed, and now she's been written up because their furniture is all on her deck. (Trailer park owners try to make people not have cluttered porches.) She tells me that her phone was supposed to be connected the day before, but no one came, so she just got off of the pay phone with the phone company. She went on and on about her roomie, explaining that she is bi-polar and that her meds will only do so much. Somewhere in all of this, she gave me her first name and I gave her mine. She sees my lighter and asks if she can bum a cig. I tell her that I'm out. She talked for a good twenty minutes before telling me her address six times and telling me to come down and visit.

Today, after the kids got home, there was a knock on the door. I figured it was a kid looking for one of mine. Nope, it was this woman. She just wanted to tell me that her phone was working now. Um, OK, that's great. Then she asked me again for a cig. I again told her that I was out. I didn't ask her for her newly connected phone number, and I sure haven't offered mine. I'm hoping she'll take a hint.

Maybe it's just me, but I had never seen her before yesterday, and all of a sudden, she's telling me her life story. :wtf:

[graywarrior]

1. That's how bi-polar's are. I have personal self knowledge of this

I would tell bus drivers my life history. Sounds like she's on a manic high. depending on her cycle, she may crash into depression in a day, or a few days, or a few weeks or maybe months.

Good luck. I was a pain in a fucking ass when I was at my worst.

[Not_Giving_Up]

8. My husband is bipolar

But he tends to be down more than up. Don't get me wrong, I'll talk your ear off....but not when I don't know who you are or anything about you!

[Democracy White]

10. Yeah I can get that way...

Having both bi-polar and Asperger's Disorder, I tend to let it get the run of me at times and start talking about my life story. I guess it's a way of desperately trying to connect to people in a way and make friends . My mom usually tells me when it's time to quit or tell me not talk about my personal problems

Here are some sites about Asperger's Disorder in case you are curious and also explains some of my behavior here on DU:

http://www.aspergers.com/

http://web.syr.edu/~rjkopp/data/as_diag_list.html

Dee

[Not_Giving_Up]

24. My son is an Aspie

I know ALL about that one. He tends to shy away from people that he doesn't know. People that he knows well are used to him talking their ears off about video games that they know nothing about.

[Old_Fart]

27. Who diagnosed you as bi-polar?

One of my degrees is in Psychiatry and that is not a symptom of being a bi-polar. They didn't put you on meds for it did they?

[graywarrior]

46. Interesting story. A psychiatrist diagnosed me in 80.

In 90, another psychiatrist told me that based on losing both parents a year apart, a failed marriage the same year, the loss of a job I had for 7 years the same year and a few other losses around that time, that I was experiencing situaltional depression mad worse by alcoholic drinking.
I've been off meds since 90, changed my diet, got help and have so symptoms of bi-polar.

[Susang]

49. Psychiatry isn't just a random degree

It's a medical specialty. You have to be an MD to be earn a and advanced degree in psychiatrist. Are you saying you are also an MD?

And while I have no idea if the poster you were responding to is bipolar or not, excessive talking and inappropriate behavior are most certainly symptoms of the disorder.

[aquaman]

53. I agree.....

As a clinical social worker, and yes I have masters degree in social work, I would have to agree that many clients that are experiencing mania do talk excessively at times and often act impulsively. Regarding one of your degrees being in psychiatry, are you a medical doctor, if not, psychology maybe??

[Debi]

2. You must seem REALLY friendly

And look like you can help....:silly:

[WCGreen]

6. My thoughts exactly....

[Not_Giving_Up]

11. I think I was the only one outside

It was truly strange. What was even more strange...she came around the curve in the road and I heard a female yell "Run!" and she said something along the lines of "bite me". It's obvious she's not running anywhere anytime soon. Not being rude, but lets just say she hasn't missed any meals. Then, she stopped and talked to me forever! Ummm...Isn't there someone waiting for you? I guess it was the roomie that she's trying to avoid.

[Old_Fart]

30. The person was lonely?

Chill out man, hostility runs ramped in society today and I would take a chill pill.

She is fat, so what?

[Not_Giving_Up]

31. I am chilled

I was just taken aback by her yesterday, and then she knocked on my door today. I wasn't making a big deal out of her weight either.

[Old_Fart]

33. "I have to remember this is not the 60's"

She was invading an area that is your space. I wouldn't call that bi-polar at all. I would get the anger checked out.

[swimmernsecretsea]

3. Uh-oh. You've got one of those...

Now, you're going to have to be firm, or you'll end up the subject of a Maury Povich show. From now on, when she wants to co-opt your time, simply and firmly say, "I'd love to talk, but I've some things to get to." Then, leave. Don't just stand there exchanging more plesantries, or feeling guilty. DO IT. And don't let her inside your door, even for an excuse that might seem necessary. "May I use your phone? Mine isn't getting a dial-tone." "No, I'm sorry." "Did you hear that loud noise?" "No. Andd if you'll excuse me, I've got to go."

Don't do this, and you'll get an acquired conjoined twin.

[Not_Giving_Up]

14. I realize this

When she knocked today, there was no invitation for her to come in. I stood in the doorway, and then I closed the door. I don't have a peephole...I guess the screen door is supposed to protect me from bad guys when I open the door to see who it is. I think I'll have my kids open the door for a while, and tell them to tell her that I'm not here, asleep, or in the shower.

I don't need a conjoined twin.

[Old_Fart]

32. Did you say that you were bi-polar?

Whats up with all of your anger?

[neuvocat]

4. She could be a meth freak.

There was woman who came by my friend's house a few times and the times that she came by she would either ask for a twinkie or a cookie or something like that. That woman you talk about seems pretty creepy though.

[Not_Giving_Up]

15. Aren't meth freaks generally very underweight?

If she was on meth, she's not a regular.

[neuvocat]

38. Hm. Maybe not then.

I didn't think to ask about the weight.

[Maddy McCall]

41. Not always.

Many aren't that thin. Some are overweight.

[Shakespeare]

5. Annoying, but kinda sad.

Sounds as if she's very, very lonely, or perhaps a bit off mentally/emotionally (or both).

[LisaL]

9. The lady had said she was bi-polar. I think that explains her

behavior.

[Not_Giving_Up]

17. True

Like I said above, my husband is bp, but he's usually down, not up. When he's up, I'm ready to run screaming.

[Shakespeare]

29. I mis-read, then. Thought she said her roommate was bipolar.

Yup, that explains it.

[LisaL]

44. Hmm. I don't know who is bi-polar, her or her roommate.

Probably both are.

[tjdee]

7. I have an older married couple like that down the street.

And she told me she babysits for a "colored" girl. :eyes:

Though, mine used to knock on everyone's door in the morning looking to bum a ride. I gave them a ride to the supermarket once, before I knew better, and she promptly said "I know a joke!" It was a joke with a punchline being something about a black kid giving their teacher something offensive without them realizing it, because that black kid was so stupid!

I was like....you do realize I am....black??

Then later she was telling me about "Catherine" and how she was a nurse but blah blah blah blah...then she told me we should come for tea sometimes, and what did my little girl want for Christmas?

Hmm.

[graywarrior]

12. My brother (bi-polar) does that to my sister who adopted two

kids from the West Indies. He calls her and tells her black jokes. He does that in public, too. It's t-o-r-t-u-r-e being with him.

[Sequoia]

13. Wait, your kids are in school now, it's the middle of summer?

This is like the 3rd post today. I think it's a crime kids have to go to school in the summer. No wonder they go balistic sometimes. Year round school screws everyone, and I hate it.

Hey, maybe Cig Woman went to school in the summer too!

[Not_Giving_Up]

18. It's not year round school

They just started back Wednesday

[hickman1937]

16. Poor woman, but be cautious.

Nothing good ever comes from someone trying to get to know you too fast. Stay back, and try to be as kind as possible. She may be in trouble, but then again, she may be just trouble.

[Not_Giving_Up]

20. Yeah

I was polite both times, but not overly friendly or rude. I've lived in this park over a year, and she is the first person to start a spontaneous conversation. Most people just keep to themselves. The only people I know are the parents of the kids my kids play with.

[Old_Fart]

36. "If she is trouble you don't want to make her more angry"

n/t

[prole_for_peace]

19. my neighbor is like that but she is always drunk.

the first time she came running over to introduce herself she HUGGED me. then she saw my hand was all wrapped and asked me about it and i told her i just had carpel tunnel surgery and she asked if she could buy some of my pain meds. now i try to be real careful when i am outside. i wish i could be nastier and tell her if i had wanted to be friends i would have come over in the 3 weeks between them moving in and her catching me outside.

[fleabert]

21. she told you, she's bipolar. and probably a bit manic right now from the

sound of things.

since my mom is bipolar, and I know how hard it is for her to find and keep friends- I ask that you be kind and empathetic, you don't have to be best friends or anything, but I am sure she gets 'wtf?' all too often. Feel free to ask me anything you'd like to about the illness, I will do my best to answer or direct you to the answer.

I wish more people would be forgiving of my mother's episodes, she's an amazing woman, and a great friend. a little loopy and weird and sad when she's in episode, but still very loving and kind. And when she's not in episode, you'd never know she was bipolar.

[hickman1937]

22. You nailed it. Best response on this thread. n/t

[fleabert]

25. thank you. It breaks my heart when my mom tells me about another

'friend' that dropped her after she said something inappropriate during a manic episode. That is the time she needs a friend the most. (and it's not like she doesn't let people know pretty quick that she's manic depressive, she doesn't hide it when she's well)

I readily admit it is hard as hell to be understanding of a full-on manic episode (esp. one with psychosis!), but it is worth it to get to know my mom.

I wish more people could see past the illness and see her true self hidden beneath.

[hickman1937]

35. Most of us have an atavistic response to anyone who doesn't

fit. What defines liberals, I hope, is the need to push beyond these former survival responses, to an understanding that that attitude has expired. Your Mom carries a burden.

[Old_Fart]

40. "prejudism is not only about race"

The liberal party plays a big role in acceptance and that is why I am part of it. As I get older I am beginning to think that our society is becoming a society of non acceptance no matter what party we are in.

[hickman1937]

43. Bingo OF,

We are being herded in that direction every day by the ubiquitous media.

[Old_Fart]

51. "Exactly"

Hate is evil and * is causing most of this hate but its the media that stirs it up. They get more out of hatred then they do out of acts of kindness.

[fleabert]

47. I hope the same, for myself and other liberals as well.

I'm not perfect, even I get very frustrated when I am the one staying with her during an episode, but I try very hard to be forgiving and understanding.

[Not_Giving_Up]

23. I wasn't WTF to her

Just after I closed the door. A couple of people have pointed out that she's likely manic right now. I can dig that. It just threw me off a little, that's all.

[fleabert]

26. I didn't mean to imply that you did anything wrong, just that she probably

knows she behaved oddly, and could feel that it wasn't an appropriate exchange.

my mom has spent many hours explaining to me how it feels, and she has an awareness somewhere in her mind that she's behaving strangely, but yet it seems right. It's hard to explain, and better said by someone first hand, but I meant only that I am sure you are not the first person to be weirded out by her behavior, and she knows that - no matter what you said or didn't say.

I so didn't mean to say that you behaved badly, sorry if it seemed that way.

[Not_Giving_Up]

28. No, it didn't seem that way

Just thought I should clarify in case I was coming across like I was rude to her.

I'd almost swear she just wants my smokes.

[fleabert]

34. I'd bet a thousand dollars (that I don't have) that she's a bit manic

lately and wants a friend, or even just someone to listen to her ramble on for hours more than smokes.

It's exhausting, and the worst time to try and make friends with someone, but if she's on meds and just needs to level out, it may be worth it. My mother is loyal to a fault to those that stick with her thru the bad times.

[Maddy McCall]

42. Lived in a duplex years ago. Exact same problem.

It started out with the neighbor borrowing cigs. Once it started, it progressed to a half-pack a day she was bumming.

Then, after her washing machine broke down, it became her begging me to allow her to wash her clothes at my house. My husband flat-out said NO. Never one to be subtle, he told her that he couldn't afford to support her smoking habit, either.

That pretty much ended her visits to our side of the duplex.

I agree with the poster above. If you engage her, you will likely have a frequent visitor.

[LisaL]

45. My neighbors constantly try to borrow stuff from me as well.

It ended up with me screaming at them that whatever it is they want, I don't have it.
Considering they would just keep the stuff, and not return it, I didn't think it was a good idea to give anything to them.

[Old_Fart]

52. "food?"

If its food and I have it to on hand I would give it to them.

[Old_Fart]

37. "Lots of anger"

I would have shown the lady kindness. Its easier to avoid someone if there isn't hostility being tossed out.

[Old_Fart]

39. "You have the best answer out of the whole message thread"

I believe that people post about being rude to others when they are feeling guilty. They feel guilty and are looking for acceptance so they post on internet sites. No one should be rude to others and people shouldn't look for excuses to be rude. I understand about your mothers condition and I wish that more people could look for the good things in people instead of their faults.

(I am not talking about the OP)

[fleabert]

48. thank you.

It has taken me many years to come to peace with her illness, and my role in her life as an adult.

I often wish that the empathy and tenderness I feel and put into my relationship with my mother was easier to share with strangers that may do or behave similarly to her. I find myself being very impatient with the masses...we all have our lessons to learn. Thanks for the gentle reminder (you didn't even know I needed it!) :-)

[Old_Fart]

50. "your welcome"

My parents always told us kids to treat people the way that you would like to be treated. I wouldn't want anyone slamming a door in my face or chewing me out for trying to talk to them. There are subtle ways of doing things and those are the best ways.