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Edited on Sun Nov-09-03 07:53 AM by Kamika
Don't kill me now if you think your candidate looks bad now I just took the ones i laughed at :p
"Did you hear about the controversy surrounding the Joe Lieberman campaign? Turns out years ago he may have experimented with charisma." —Craig Kilborn
"Tonight, Joe Lieberman will be joining us. You may remember him as the man who came this close to losing the vice presidency in 2000. But he won, so now he's not vice president." —Jon Stewart
"Well folks it's started, the presidential race. Democratic Senator John Edwards of North Carolina, who is also a personal injury attorney, has announced he is running for president in 2004. Good slogan too, 'Elect me and there will be one less lawyer.'" —Jay Leno
"On Monday, Senator Joe Lieberman will announce his campaign for the Democratic presidential nomination while speaking at his old high school. To recreate the feel of his old high school days, Senator Lieberman will make the announcement from inside a locker." —Jimmy Fallon, Saturday Night Live's "Weekend Update"
"Joe Lieberman announced yesterday that he's running for president. He made the announcement at his old high school. Out of force of habit, the kids gave him a wedgie and broke his glasses." —Jay Leno
"Are you ready for some exciting news? Dick Gephardt is running for president — all right, settle down. Gephardt ran once before for president in 1988, but he was no match for the irresistible charm and charisma of Michael Dukakis." —David Letterman
"Florida Senator Bob Graham announced that he is running for president despite the fact that he went through a double-bypass earlier this year. Political experts don't give Graham much chance because his campaign slogan is 'I'm a little healthier than Dick Cheney.'" —Conan O'Brien
"Earlier today, Democratic presidential candidate Richard Gephardt referred to President Bush's foreign policy as 'machismo' and 'arrogant unilateralism.' Bush was furious and told Gephardt 'You wouldn't dare say that if I knew what it meant.'" —Conan O'Brien
"Former vice presidential candidate Joe Lieberman said today that if the Democrats nominated Howard Dean, it would be a ticket to nowhere. Lieberman added, 'If there's one thing I know, it's about being on a ticket to nowhere.'" —Conan O'Brien
"Presidential candidate Joe Lieberman took a shot at frontrunner Howard Dean. He said Howard Dean is a ticket to nowhere. So at least Lieberman will have someone to ride with now." —Jay Leno
"Wesley Clark is being coached by former President Clinton. I believe this is the first time a general is being advised by a pot-smoking draft dodger." —David Letterman
"(General Wesley Clark) participated in the debate with the Democrats. He was the new star. And he had to answer the question 'Why is he suddenly a Democrat?' He said he did not fit in with the Republicans because he is pro-choice, pro-affirmative action, and once when he was young and impressionable, he fought in a war." —Bill Maher
"Last night during a Democratic presidential debate, candidates John Kerry, John Edwards and Howard Dean all admitted they had smoked marijuana and Al Sharpton admitted that his barber smokes marijuana." —Conan O'Brien
"In his new book, 'Winning Back America,' Dean talks about his wealthy prep school and how he used to get drunk. Let me get this straight — he had rich parents, drank a lot, went to prep school and avoided Vietnam. He's the alternative to George Bush? I think he is George Bush." —Jay Leno
"In a recent interview, Howard Dean admitted that he used to drink and smoke pot. So, now all he needs to put him over the top is a sex scandal." —David Letterman
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