Generic Freeper Encounter Anecdote Template

[asthmaticeog]

DUer: *Minding own business in public setting, usually involving commerce*

Freeper: *Initiates innocent seeming conversation, betrays true nature by dropping RW talking point*

DUer: *Flawlessly refutes talking point on the spot, asks leading question intended to draw further talking points*

Freeper: *takes bait exactly as DUer intended*

DUer: *Mercilessly slams RW talking points, insinuates Freeper is idiot*

Freeper: *Proves idiocy by losing shit, resorting to ad hominem*

DUer: *Utterly and finally bests Freeper with devastasingly witty and on-point remark, posts on DU about it*

[Blue-Jay]

1. Wow. That EXACT situation happened to me yesterday!

[ScreamingMeemie]

2. Amazing, eh?

:hi:

[StopTheMorans]

3. this just happened to me on the way to work today!

i was driving along the freeway, and stopped to pay my toll. the toll collector said "boy, i bet you sure are feeling the squeeze what with these crazy petroleum prices" and i said "oh you bet, my good friend! indeed, i bet that you aren't aware that these prices are due to George W. Bush's poorly-executed policies!" at that, another freeper behind me started beeping his H2 horn and started ramming my car. luckily, my pic of Janeane Garafolo on my back windshield distracted him long enough for me to call the local ANSWER chapter, and when they came with reinforcements, we beat the snot out of those freepers after tearing apart, detail by salacious detail, the failures of their ways of thinking. take that you knuckle-draggers! SNAP!

[terrya]

4. Good for you! And you rushed here and posted about it!

Never, ever, forget to immediately rush to DU to post any freeper encounters.

[StopTheMorans]

7. i won't, Terry! one by one, we'll take down these freepers, and this evil

regime. :patriot:

[terrya]

9. Yes, we will STM....

one "creative encounter" at a time!

[asthmaticeog]

10. !

:rofl:

[Midlodemocrat]

14. You. Are. Nuts.

Not in a mentally unstable way, mind you, in a hide the knives and scissors way.


:rofl:

[StopTheMorans]

25. i reluctantly agree

:cry:

[progmom]

5. sounds about right

[Catholic Sensation]

6. So I was minding my business at this coffee shop

Freeper: I see you're wearing a solidarity trade union shirt, you know Reagan helped fund them

Me: The Pope was more instrumental in helping the Solidarity movement than Reagan. Reagan did nothing.

Freeper: Reagan was more instrumental in defeating communism than any president!

Me: You mean by bringing us closer to nuclear war than any president since Kennedy?

Freeper: Star Wars would have protected us.

Me: just like the Death Star protected Alderran?

Okay this didn't happen, but it's just about as likely as 99% of the "conversations" I see DUers have.

[StopTheMorans]

8. SNAP!

[JimmyJazz]

11. I never have witty freeper encounters.

I am lame. :(

[corkhead]

18. they didn't used to be witty

we are starting to put them on their heels. The perfect storm of arrogance and stupidity is finally starting to clear.

Greetings fellow Clashperson!

[JimmyJazz]

22. Greetings -

you will find there are many of us Clashified individuals at DU, including the OP. :hi:

[XNASA]

12. You forgot about the part where the Freeper says...

"My Goodness! I never thought of it that way. Well, my Liberal friend, now I can see the light. I've been wrong all along. I'll never vote Republican, ever again!"

That happens ALL the time.

[asthmaticeog]

13. Good lord, that is SO unrealistic.

:eyes:

[XNASA]

15. It is?

:cry:

[JimmyJazz]

17. Stop making me laugh. I'm at work.

[asthmaticeog]

20. If you don't want to be made to laugh while at work...

don't keep reading my flawlessly hilarious posts while at work. :shrug:

OK, I gotta get back to work...

[graywarrior]

16. Freeper (after seeing my DU sticker); You one of them bleeding hearts?

Me: Get fucked

[XNASA]

19. Boy. Some bleeding heart you are.

Oh, wait! Now I get it. ;)

[XemaSab]

21. Here's my latest Freeper/fundie encounter:

Me, in fabric shop with shop clerk and daughter of shop owner. Shop clerk mentions that her son is going to seminary. I say that I have a friend in seminary, and she says it's just like Hogwarts in Harry Potter.

Shop clerk says they don't believe in reading Harry Potter because it's "not a good thing to let into your life." Clerk and kid begin a discussion about how there's nothing to be afraid of if you have Jesus in your heart, with rip tides and tall ladders used as examples.

I smile and nod and scurry out of there.

[graywarrior]

23. I like the word "scurry"

[XemaSab]

26. I do too

:)

[sakabatou]

28. So... if he gtes sucked into a riptide

and starts to drown all he has to do is pray and he'll be saved? WTF?

[XemaSab]

29. "Last week we were down in La Jolla

and we were swimming and the beach kept getting further away and we started praying and Jesus sent a wave that took us back into shore."

I shit you not.

[sakabatou]

30. Holy crap

I know a good way to test his faith. Make him jump off bridge w/o bungee cord or paracute. :evilgrin:

[XemaSab]

31. If you will indulge me for a moment

that whole style of religious belief strikes me as so shallow and bogus...

What about all the True Believers who die in stupid, meaningless ways (car accidents, cancer, etc) every day, and what about all the infidels who get miraculously snatched from the jaws of death, like that dude they found out on the raft after the tsunami?

It's where Calvinism comes from, and it's total bunk.

[tinrobot]

24. I live in a very blue state

We don't have many Freepers here. My conversations are more like this:

Me: "Minding own business in public setting, usually involving commerce"

Other Person: "I really really really hate Bush"

Me: "Yeah, me too"

Other Person goes back to minding own business, usually involving commerce.

[Patiod]

27. I get too flustered

Bored trainer at gym, seeing the woman who insists on changing the channel away from Faux News, working out next to next to elderly Right Wing Nut: "So, Mr. RWN, what do you think about the Plame thing?"

Arrogant former New Yorker and Right Wing Nut, who has already pissed off all Phillies fans in gym by loudly dissing our new ball field and ranting on loudly about how perfect fucking Yankee stadium was: "It wasn't officially a crime, she wasn't a spy long enough" (or whatever)

Me, hyperventilating, and lifting more than I normally do out of ad reline-fueled rage: "Isn't that the kind of thing you guys hated when Clinton did? You know, the whole 'I-did-not-have-sex-with-that-woman, define-what-'is'-is?"

Arrogant NY transplant, not used to people arguing with him, turning purple: "You obviously believe everything you hear in the liberal media!!!"

Me, shaking from being upset, and walking away so I don't wring his turkey neck: "What, because I don't watch Faux News?"

Arrogant NY transplant, screaming now: "I don't watch TV!!! I get my information from TALK RADIO!!! You're IGNORANT!!!"

The whole thing ended with my enormous, pumped-up S.O. refusing the guy's argument that he was calling my opinions ignorant, and insisting he apologize for calling me ignorant. The little fellow might have been a RWN, but he valued his life.

These things never go off like DU leads me to expect they will.

[malta blue]

32. happened to me...

and the "besting" of the freeper was at the hands of my 6 year old daughter who pointed out "Hey Mister, no one needs a car that big".

[leftofthedial]

33. man! how did you know?

were you there too?

[Cathyclysmic]

34. Uncanny

That's exactly what happened to me when.....well, you know how it went.

[El Fuego]

35. Then Ignorant Freeper resorts to childish namecalling

Because he cannot formulate intelligent arguments, and lacks the factual info to do so.