The War According to the ABC Crusade Propaganda Flick

[DuctapeFatwa]

Iraq is a large sparsely populated desert area. The US Army are a bunch of well-meaning bunglers who don't have much sense, but are not too stupid to be scared when they are sent into the desert, having been told that they are there to "liberate" the Iraqis.

There are two kinds of Iraqis. Good Iraqis are clean-shaven, have light skin, wear western clothes and gold chains, speak English and have fashionable haircuts and love Americans.

Bad Iraqis have darker skin, facial hair, and usually scream in Arabic without subtitles. They wear more traditional dress, hate Americans and kill them, and cast dark lustful glares at teenage blond girls who can't walk.

When the bumbling Americans and humble Good Iraqis work together, they are able to free the blond girl from the Bad Iraqis, however the Bad Iraqis do not die, they are still walking around looking for more non-ambulatory blond girls, but the Americans are honorable because they bring back even the bodies of the disposable soldiers they send into hostile situations without armor.

The moral is that America must continue killing Iraqis because they are still at large and lusting after blond girls.

[Tandalayo_Scheisskopf]

1. I guess that the logical extension to this is...

That I am Iraqi, since I am at large and lust after blond girls.

To think that I had no idea why I had a craving for Falafel...