My boyfriend said "So I've been reading the Bible.."

[freeplessinseattle]

and I don't know what to say, just tell him that if he finds hope and comfort in there, I'm happy for him. But. I'm not sure where this is going to lead. What if he starts going to church and wants me to go with him? I'm not necessarily against going to church, I just feel I have better things to do with my time. I'm concerned though that he might get all moralistic and see me as an unholy girl if I don't share his interest, but I don't have any interest in the least. I grew up in Salt Lake City and had to attend church when I had a Mormon babysitter (I don't remember if it was on Sundays or what, I seem to recall a lot of functions her children were involved in and I got sent to play with the younger kids in a little room, where we did the Hokey-Pokey over and over. and the babysitter got paid for this). anyway, each to their own, just not my cup of tea, and I've heard horror stories from friends who dated born again Christians that their partner suddenly didn't believe in sex before marriage anymore. (we've talked about getting married, but I don't want to get married just so I could have sex with my lover again)

[tavalon]

1. Hmmm

Did he say more? As an ex-Southern Baptist, a statement like that from one of my partners would definitely send up warning signals. Of course, I'm the sort that I wouldn't let that one hang in the air. We'd be having lots 'o communication around that.

Now, one of my partners, who is Jewish, occasionally pulls out the bible for reading and for research but in his case, it's for his interest only and therefore doesn't raise any flags with me.

[freeplessinseattle]

5. well, he just quoted stuff from there and I automatically

tuned out, out of habit I guess, and tuned back in when he said "you know what I mean?". I just mumbled that "I think so" and gave him a kiss, saying something about being glad that he has found something that gives him hope. the thing is, I'm worried that it won't really give him hope, while watching tv he has already questioned why God would let a natural disaster happen, what is the reason? He may have even said "It's God's will" but seemed distressed, he is struggling to make sense of it. He seems to derive comfort that there is a God that is watching over him and will be there when he dies, which is a nice thought, but may give himself permission to engage in risky behavior he is prone to, after all God will watch over him, and if it's his time to go it's God's Will, and heaven will be a wonderful place anyway, better than on earth. I can see why this would comfort some people, and help people grieving, but he's young (39) and not terminally ill.

ach, I should try to look on the bright side, at least he is finding some inspiration, maybe temporarily, maybe long-term, either way it will be a soul-searching experience for him, I'm sure, I just wish I knew how to ease his distress when he questions Biblical concepts, I don't want to negate the Bible, and crush his hold on inspiration, but don't know how to respond to the "why was it's God's will?" type of questions.

[Shipwack]

8. At the risk of sounding harsh...

"well, he just quoted stuff from there and I automatically tuned out, out of habit I guess, and tuned back in when he said "you know what I mean?". I just mumbled that "I think so" and gave him a kiss, saying something about being glad that he has found something that gives him hope."

And there's the problem. Or at least -a- problem. An important part of any relationship is communication. He tells you something, you shouldn't automatically tune it out, and then mumble a reply. You think he didn't notice that something he thought was important was deemed by you to be unworthy of your attention? If you don't engage in a dialog with him, maybe someone else will... and the path they lead him down might not be to your liking.

[freeplessinseattle]

10. not harsh,.just ignorant

maybe if he was more interested in listening to me talk about politics I'd try to feign an interest in his interests. and your lame crap about him finding someone else, have I found someone else? No, I found DU. If he leaves me bc I don't share his religous interest it's just not meant to be.

Here is my post from below, btw:

he's been going through tough times lately and is needing something to hang hope on, to make sense of the world. I am happy for him, but worried at the same time, and don't know if he will follow the same route as other people have been known to. I'm not saying it's a guarantee he'll go to church and shun me if I don't want to go, I think our love is stronger than that, but on the edge of his consciousness he may be thinking of me as a lesser person. I only say this based on my friends' personal experience, and mine from my time in Utah. Among my classmates there was always a subtle, and sometimes not so subtle, implication that non-Mormons were lesser, less trustworthy, less worthy, what-have-you. So that fear is always there. Yes, these were young kids, but adults often regarded us the same way. Some teachers did, some parents did, my parents relayed stories of being judged, but then again we were minorities there, and the LDS I have met here are different.

I guess I'm worried that it may eb important to him that I share his interest (although he doesn't share my interest in politics that much. I wish he would, but it's not a dealbreaker. I've got DU

People can't change the world by destroying themselves

[madeline_con]

11. A lot of people read the Bible for information.....

so they better understand where others are coming from during say, an online argument or a face to face one at that.

I know I used to keep my Bible right next to the computer while frequenting another msg board, to refute the resident fundies' interpretation of "scripture".

He may be questioning existence, and reading the Bible's just his first step. You should ask him what he thinks, and listen. Let him voice his feelings about it.

Unless you know he's joining a cult or something, don't automatically tune out. He may have legit concerns about hypocrisy, etc. :)

[LastKnight]

2. one thing that the whole born again philosophy doesn't take into account..

is that sex is a natural (and arguably necessary, according to some psychologists) part of the human condition. I'm not gonna get into all the psychobabble, but anyway... in biblical times it mattered little because kids were married off about the time they hit puberty or shortly thereafter anyway, so it wasn't a big deal. and sex before marriage in those terms is what we lock sickos up for these days. these days a very large majority of those who are legal age can make their own decisions on 'morality'.

anyway. i would explain in more detail, but i have a feeling no one will care or I'm boring people. lol.

maybe thats just my view, maybe im spouting sacrilege, too. i donno.

[everythingsxen]

3. Mountain out of a molehill?

If he's reading the bible, it doesn't necessarily mean he is going to become an uber-christian or anything. I read the Bible at least once a week and I don't go to church, nor do I even consider myself a christian.

Just make sure the bible he isn't reading a king james or living bible; get him a Lamsa version -- it's the best I know of anyway. It's translated straight from aramaic instead of from aramaic to greek to whatever else to english.

[freeplessinseattle]

7. of course not, I just don't know what to expect

he's been going through tough times lately and is needing something to hang hope on, to make sense of the world. I am happy for him, but worried at the same time, and don't know if he will follow the same route as other people have been known to. I'm not saying it's a guarantee he'll go to church and shun me if I don't want to go, I think our love is stronger than that, but on the edge of his consciousness he may be thinking of me as a lesser person. I only say this based on my friends' personal experience, and mine from my time in Utah. Among my classmates there was always a subtle, and sometimes not so subtle, implication that non-Mormons were lesser, less trustworthy, less worthy, what-have-you. So that fear is always there. Yes, these were young kids, but adults often regarded us the same way. Some teachers did, some parents did, my parents relayed stories of being judged, but then again we were minorities there, and the LDS I have met here are different.

I guess I'm worried that it may eb important to him that I share his interest (although he doesn't share my interest in politics that much. I wish he would, but it's not a dealbreaker. I've got DU:)

[Rabrrrrrr]

36. I think you also have a very poor vision of what The Church is

Granted, judging your opening post, you've had some bad experiences with it, so a bad taste is to be expected. Plus, LDS isn't a church anyway - it's just mormonism, a religion all by itself (though loosely based on Christianity, it isn't Christianity).

But what if he does decide to become a churcher type? He might go Unitarian, or United Church of Christ, or some other good denomination that isn't Southern Baptist or Falwell's unfaithful vision.

[REP]

9. King James Is The Best

There are many decent reasons for reading the bible, and the beauty of the language in the King James version is one them. Other translations lack any sense of poetry or even decent prose.

I'm not a follower of any of the Big Three religions, and I've read the bible - sometimes for opposition research, sometimes for information, and other times, just for the pleasure of it. One doesn't need to be a follower or even a believer to get something worthwhile out of it (or any other religion's holy books, for that matter).

[noonwitch]

28. I agree about the KJV, but other translations have their uses

The New Revised Standard Version is a good one for serious study. The New International is good to use to teach children and teens.

I really have no use for The Living Bible. It takes way too many liberties with the language in translating.

I like to use 1 Samuel 24:3 to compare the euphemisms for urination. The KJV uses the discreet "cover his feet". The Living Bible says "go to the bathroom". That's just too crude, and considering the times, not a realistic translation. If you are a Sunday school teacher, the KJV one is better if you are teaching the story of David and Saul, because the kids probably won't ask what Saul was doing in the cave, but will have lots of comments on the other wording.

[everythingsxen]

45. See here is the reason why NOT to use KJV

Some of the highlights of errors in KJV vs Lamsa:

Jeremiah 4:10
(KJV)Then said I, Ah, Lord God! surely thou hast greatly deceived this people and Jerusalem, saying, Ye shall have peace; whereas the sword reacheth unto the soul.

(Lamsa)Then I said, I beseech thee, O Lord God, surely I have greatly decieved this people and Jerusalem; for I have said, You shall have peace; and behold, the sword reaches into the soul.

Notice the difference there? It is a mistranslation of ataeth (I have decieved) for ataith (you have decieved).

----------------------------------------------------

This is even worse, here KJV replaces eweley (babies) for awaley (ungodly):

Job 19:18
(KJV)Yea, young children despised me; I arose, and they spake against me.

(Lamsa)Yea, even the wicked despise me; when I rise they speak against me.

Psalm 144: 7
(KJV)Send thine hand from above; rid me, and deliver me out of great waters, from the hand of strange children;

(Lamsa)Stretch forth thy hand from above; deliver me out of great waters, from the hand of the ungodly,

Psalm 144:11
(KJV)Rid me, and deliver me from the hand of strange children, whose mouth speaketh vanity, and their right hand is a right hand of falsehood:

(Lamsa)Deliver me from the hand of the wicked, whose mouths speak vanity, and their right hand is a right hand of falsehood,

------------------------------------------------------

Last one I am posting, but rest assured there are many, many, many, MANY more errors in the KJV than what I am posting.

Numbers 25:4
(KJV)And the Lord said unto Moses, Take all the heads of the people, and hang them up before the Lord against the sun, that the fierce anger of the Lord may be turned away from Israel.

(Lamsa)And the Lord said to Moses, Take all the chiefs of the people and expose them before the Lord in the daylight that the fierce anger of the Lord may be turned away from Israel.

--------------------------------------------------------

I understand that you and others think that KJV has "poetry and prose" I would tend to think that when you are talking about what is supposed to be the word of God, getting it corrrect would be more important than style.

Another reason to not use KJV is the fact that it is an edited for television version of the Bible. King James took out the parts he didn't like and that was that.

[REP]

48. It's Just Another Book To Me

So I'll take the well written one, thanks.

And no need to teach your grandmother to suck eggs - I know all about the history of the various versions of the bible. Not my god, so it's just history to me.

[CBHagman]

49. The language of the King James Version is beautiful, but...

...a 21st century speaker of English, unless he/she is accustomed to the language of Shakespeare, might have real trouble with it. There are a number of terms which have changed in meaning over the centuries. For example, there are passages in which the term "bowels" is used for "heart," in the emotional sense.

I freaked out as a kid when I read the passage about the judgment of Solomon (i.e., two mothers fighting over who was the true mother of a baby) and it said of one mother that "her bowels were moved upon her child." It merely meant that her heart ached for her baby.

[madeline_con]

12. don't censor the Book, just the version of it????

:wtf:

[Jeff In Milwaukee]

21. Lot of fundies would benefit from reading the Bible...

Apparently they skipped the Sermon on the Mount and went straight to the crucifixion. Regardless of what version he's reading (I just bought a copy of The Jefferson Bible), it's not necessarily a bad thing.

Fact is, I would actually recommend that atheists and agnostics learn at least some specific portions of Christian theology so they can more effective combat the nonsense of the right wing. All this "Rapture" stuff? No basis in scripture. None.

[The Backlash Cometh]

4. Tell him what W.C. Fields use to say.

He reads the bible only to look for loopholes.

[cleofus1]

6. yes

the man was a genius...(did i spell that right)

[Jeff In Milwaukee]

22. Another old chestnut...

One kid asks his sibling why their grandmother is always reading the Bible. The sibling says, "I think she's cramming for the final."

[DIKB]

13. You could hit him up with a couple of links.

http://exchristian.net/

http://www.infidels.org/library/modern/donald_morgan/atrocity.html

http://www.intothepit.de/god/2.html <-- The God Simulator a personal fave of mine.

Pagan Origins of Christ - http://home.earthlink.net/~pgwhacker/ChristianOrigins/

Things Creationists Hate - http://www.skepticreport.com/creationism/thingscreationistshate.htm

Just a couple from my "Religious Bullshit" Folder.

[tjdee]

14. Your love isn't very strong if you think a)he's going fundie or b)you thin

k he's going to drop you/think of you as a lesser person.

People who read the bible aren't all weirdos. :eyes:

I read most of the thread so I understand you feel slightly concerned based on your experiences, where you live, whatever... but it sounds like, like you say, he's finding some comfort or whatever there.

One thing I *wouldn't* do is to badmouth it, etc. Whenever anyone finds something they enjoy/get pleasure out of, it sucks to have people try to tear them down for it. You don't have to say anything to the "why does God let things happen?" question. I'm sure you're responding honestly from your heart (when you're listening, LOL) and that's all he wants.

[lukasahero]

15. Perhaps *he's* the one you should be talking to if you are interested in

maintaining a relationship with him. If you want an out over this, then just do it. If not, then you have to talk to him about your concerns/questions/fears.

You say you just don't know what to expect but since none of us here knows him or what thoughts are going through his head, then we can't answer your questions but he can. From the little you've said in this thread, it sounds like he's just trying to make sense of things, perhaps questioning the values and beliefs he was raised with, trying to understand the world around him.

If he decides to accept those beliefs, he may decide it's necessary to share his life with someone who also believes them. He may, alternatively, decide to reject them or he may discover that there is a middle ground and your participation in his activities is not required.

Unfortunately, you'll never know until you ask - him. And listen to his answers.

[zbdent]

16. There's a good chance he's not a freeper! 1. He's reading

2. He's reading the Bible

3. He might realize that Jesus was the basis of liberalism . . .

[bleedingheart]

17. I know a gal that stopped sleeping with her boyfriend as a result

basically she and he had been high school sweethearts. They had been sexually active since they were senior in high school. When they were both juniors in college she found jesus and then decided that it was wrong to be sleeping with him but that she still wanted to marry him.

....and then time passed....

He was missing the "action" and she was becoming more prudish. In the end, he found out that one of her bible study partners was actually moving in on his territory, "because they shared in their love of jesus" and thus the relationship ended.

[newportdadde]

18. It may not mean he is going to want to go to church or turn fundie.

I recently for the first time read the book of Matthew, it was the first time I read anything out of the bible. I did it to just learn more and to understand were folks got some view points, were they came from.

The thing I learned was mainly just live by the golden rule also I because much more clear in my viewpoint that you don't need church to learn from the bible you can do so on your own.

[ellie]

19. My DH reads a lot

about religions and history. Specifically American Indian history and recounts every gruesome atrocity that happened to the tribes living on this land before the Europeans stole it. Sometimes it is hard to listen to. Before we met, he knew nothing about history and wasn't even curious about it. He is now trying to educate himself.

Maybe your boyfriend is trying to figure something out for himself, like my DH is.

[Lost4words]

20. Dump his ass, he's a gonner

Next he will talk of the good work we are doing in Iraq and the culture of life.

[Left Is Write]

29. Just because he read the Bible?

[progmom]

34. weird.

that doesn't happen to me when i read the Bible. :shrug:

[Rabrrrrrr]

40. Nor me. But then, I found out yesterday I'm a dumbass for hunting,

so not surprising I'm a dumbass for reading the Bible and finding inspiration therein.

[progmom]

41. oh - i had other reasons for thinking you're a dumbass

:P
































j/k :loveya:

[Nite Owl]

23. Is he reading the Old Testament

or the New Testament? The fundies seem to love the Old and don't bother with the words of the New. Sometimes I think liberals don't go to church like the cons do because we live the words of Jesus everyday. The message is real to us and more than words but action in our daily lives. The cons love to quote stuff but they are far from what Jesus really said. If he is reading it he might just be curious and it might help him to understand why we believe that their should be peace and why we believe that social programs are more important than the Pentagon. He might see that * is no Christian but a phoney.

[GreenPartyVoter]

24. So give him a gift. A copy of "The Heart of Christianity" which would

help understand what he's reading and also give him the liberal point of view of the Good Book.

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0060526769/qid=1076799816/sr=1-3/ref=sr_1_3/104-0188767-1670319?v=glance&s=books

Also, give him a liberal study Bible, like the Access Bible:

http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/0195282175/qid=1089737992/sr=1-6/ref=sr_1_6/104-0188767-1670319?v=glance&s=books

And if he has more questions, just tell him to visit my site (listed in my sig) :)

[Xithras]

25. Don't worry about it, there are plenty of liberal christians

Christian doesn't neccesarily mean Freeper, or Born Again, or even (shudder) Southern Baptist. There are a HUGE number of Christians who actually READ the Bible and understand that Jesus taught peace, pacifism, inclusion, and love...all core tenets of liberalism.

[no name no slogan]

26. I read the Quran and the Torah, but i'm not Muslim or Jewish

reading the Bible does not "make" one a Christian any more so than wearing Air Jordans makes you Michael Jordan.

The Bible is a book like any other that contains a lot of wisdom, some amazing insights, and a few crazy things that nobody has quite figured out yet.

And not all so-called "born again" Christians are conservative fundimentalists. I know of many Christians who are more liberal and socially progressive than my non-believing friends.

If your boyfriend does become more interested in his faith, it doesn't mean that he'll change everything overnight. i would just be supportive of him on his journey. he probably needs you now more than ever.

[Felix Mala]

27. To paraphrase Marge Simpson, "There's more to the Bible

than blood, gore and extreme right wing politics."

A lot of good people get something out of the parts of the Bible that are worthwhile. Here's a hint, if what you're reading did or could make a good Cecil B. DeMille movie, move on to something more spiritually uplifting.

[Chovexani]

30. Haha!

I love that quote, I'm going to have to steal it. 'Cause I love those cheesy old Cecil B. DeMille movies. ;)

[A-Schwarzenegger]

31. Talk to him about your thoughts & feelings & ask him about his.

sheesh.

[SOteric]

32. Where's the fire?

You seem like you're in such a hurry to respond to something that hasn't materialised. He's reading the bible. Maybe he's just curious about what it really says in there as compared to what people have told him is in there.

He hasn't judged you. He hasn't turned into a fundie. He hasn't threatened to leave if you don't hi-tail your backside to a baptismal font for immediate cleansing of the soul.

Cross that bridge when and if you come to it. You'll be fine. You already know your feelings about religion and the bible, all you have to do is sort out his when he knows what they are.

[redqueen]

33. Forget sex before marriage... what about the husband being the boss? n/t

[Rabrrrrrr]

35. Wow, talk about getting the horse ahead of the cart

Not sure if I would want to be with someone who took a newfound interest of mine to the worst-case scenario.

I'd prefer to be with someone a little more open-minded, who was willing to wait to see if the evil she imagined was actually going to materialize, or just go off half-cocked and make her own assumptions about my motivations every time I breathed differently.

I'm not sure I could live with that stress.

[patcox2]

37. Someone less condescending would be nice, too.

I wouldn't really enjoy being in a relationship with someone who talks about my spiriual explorations on a public message board with the tone of someone who is asking "how do I get this puppy to stop pooping on the rug."

[Rabrrrrrr]

38. Totally agree!

Nicely said.

[A-Schwarzenegger]

42. You two sound like a couple of some kind of fundamentalists to me.

[Rabrrrrrr]

43. Huh?

Your sentence makes no sense. Nor does it make any sense in this context.

[A-Schwarzenegger]

44. Kidding.

Not well. I mean, I'm well, but I wasn't kidding well.
I.e., I liked your exchange, and I agree with it. Peace.

[Rabrrrrrr]

47. Ah, gotcha!

I missed the joke.

:hi:

[ghostsofgiants]

39. You stole my Jesus fish, didn't you?

[Merrick]

46. I read a Garfield book once...

and I don't particularly like lasagna more than I used to. I mean I like it, but pretty much the same as before. just sayin'.