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redwitch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-20-05 08:34 AM
Original message
sending my son off to college in less than 2 weeks
I'm really excited for him but so incredibly sad too. 18 years goes by very fast.
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MichiganVote Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-20-05 08:38 AM
Response to Original message
1. Don't worry, it ain't over yet. Wait till he calls you for money....
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redwitch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-20-05 08:41 AM
Response to Reply #1
3. Yah, I'm sure we'll be hearing from him often!
Boston is tres expensive!
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margaritamama Donating Member (210 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-20-05 08:39 AM
Response to Original message
2. Just blink your eyes
and a decade past
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redwitch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-20-05 08:42 AM
Response to Reply #2
5. No kidding.
And I could cry when I think of the days I couldn't wait for him to grow up. Well, I got what I wished for.
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Deja Q Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-20-05 08:41 AM
Response to Original message
4. For what field?
The only ones I'm good for are going offshore.
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redwitch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-20-05 08:43 AM
Response to Reply #4
7. He is a musician
Of the electric bass variety. Off to Berklee College of Music aka Musician Heaven!
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Arianrhod Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-20-05 09:56 AM
Response to Reply #7
29. Cool!
I was an electric bassist myself in college. (In California in 1975, you couldn't graduate from university if you weren't a member of a rock band.) Wish I still was. Definitely missed my calling. Our group broke up due to personal conflicts, natch. (Also pretty much requisite at the time.) Played a clear wood Fender Precision bass. Exquisite!

I wish all the best for your son. My daughter goes off to art college next year, and I have to say, this is the best year of our relationship, as she moves into high school seniorship.

Punk Goth heavy metal neoChristianity rocks!

:hippie:
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Doctor_J Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-20-05 08:43 AM
Response to Original message
6. Pop the champagne
and then after a month of nightly phone calls realize that he's not gone QUITE yet.
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redwitch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-20-05 08:44 AM
Response to Reply #6
9. I dunno
He is pretty independent.
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GreenPartyVoter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-20-05 08:43 AM
Response to Original message
8. I have 5 and 7 year olds. I shudder to think how fast the next 10 years
Edited on Sat Aug-20-05 08:49 AM by GreenPartyVoter
will fly by.

But for now, they still like to climb in my lap for snuggles and have squeaky little voices. :)

Edited for typo: Bran is really only 5
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redwitch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-20-05 08:45 AM
Response to Reply #8
10. awww.
I remember those days. Baby soft skin, total adoration of mom and dad as centers of universe, bedtime reading aloud... Sigh
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redwitch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-20-05 08:46 AM
Response to Reply #10
11. I also remember the time he drew on our brand new couch with a bic pen
he was feeling very artistic that day!
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GreenPartyVoter Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-20-05 08:49 AM
Response to Reply #11
14. We woke up to wall art just this morning! :^P
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MichiganVote Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-20-05 08:52 AM
Response to Reply #11
16. Or the time both sons drew massive killer whales on their walls
Like from one end of the room to the other. Funniest scene was falling in the fountain at the local mall. And then there was the time one of them cut the side of a new sofa with a pair of scissors. Not to mention the time they were having a rock throwing competition-at our new car. Course the time one of them got stuck on a nail beneath the deck was a little scary but not as serious as the time son #1 learned to ride a bike-into the mailbox-10 stiches. There has been the usual first dent in the car, lost money, a few broken curfews and the girlfriend dramas-BUT- all in all,

I'd do it again. Raising kids, what a ride....
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redwitch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-20-05 08:57 AM
Response to Reply #16
20. My youngest used to pass out often
when he got scared or angry or injured. Strong vaso-vagal response to stimuli. I used to be so afraid he wouldn't start breathing again. Took a few years of my life every time. Oldest son a bit less scary mostly. Though there was the time he hid inside a clothing rack at a department store and I had store employees blocking the exits. Honest to God I thought someone had snatched him. It was awful! But I can't imagine my life without the little troublemakers!
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MichiganVote Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-20-05 09:03 AM
Response to Reply #20
22. Every growth marker is like getting a new job description
I marvel at how much work there is to raising kids. Go see the Penguin movie, it helps!
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khashka Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-20-05 08:48 AM
Response to Original message
12. Yeah I know what you mean
My daughter is at Oxford on a freaking scholarship. I am so proud.... but she'll never be that little girl again.

Watching our children grow up is one of the best things that will ever happen to us. And one of the saddest....

Khash.
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tjwmason Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-20-05 08:55 AM
Response to Reply #12
18. I'm sure you don't need me to tell you
Oxford's one of the best universities on the planet - and I'm not just saying that because it's only a few miles up the road and I have a few friends there doing post-grad stuff either.

You've obviously done something right in raising her.
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gizmo1979 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-20-05 08:48 AM
Response to Original message
13. One week here
only child very very sad.Very very stressful.Dad is very very sad.
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redwitch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-20-05 08:53 AM
Response to Reply #13
17. Going far? For us he'll be only 3 hours away
We plan kamikaze visits! :-) We are fortunate to have one more at home. Empty nest is gonna be tough for me.
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gizmo1979 Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-20-05 09:03 AM
Response to Reply #17
23. only an hour
but I'm a whimp so it seems further.
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MuseRider Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-20-05 08:51 AM
Response to Original message
15. Oh my.
I sent my youngest off just a little over a year ago. It is very sad when it happens. That is exactly how I felt. It is hard but you get used to it pretty quickly.

I posted quite a bit here last year when I went through this, everyone was so helpful.

18 years seems like nothing when they leave.
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SheilaT Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-20-05 08:56 AM
Response to Original message
19. Because of different start dates,
my younger son left last week, my older one leaves today.

No calls or emails yet from younger son, and I already know from experience that the older one NEVER writes or calls. I am truly an empty nester.

How I miss those days whey they were babies and toddlers. It is incredible how quickly the time goes by.
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tjwmason Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-20-05 08:59 AM
Response to Original message
21. It seems like only yesterday that my mother said good-bye
in the car-park of my hall of residence.

He's going to change pretty dramatically - but look at him, and realise that you've helped to make him the man he is now.

From my own experience - this is likely to be much harder on you than it is on him.
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redwitch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-20-05 09:06 AM
Response to Reply #21
24. I know you're right.
When he was in fifth grade he won a week's stay at American Computer Experience- A summer camp for kids. Nearest camp for us was the MIT campus. When we got there he gave perfunctory hugs and dashed off to make new friends. Hubby and I were left standing in the doorway with tears in our eyes. We knew this day would come and we would be left standing again for good. He loves his family though, he'll be missing us too, I am sure.
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tjwmason Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-20-05 09:12 AM
Response to Reply #24
25. In many ways they have to go away
so that they can come-back.
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cfield Donating Member (648 posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-20-05 09:44 AM
Response to Reply #25
27. that is SO true
My husband's mom had the biggest fit when he moved an hour away for school. Of course it didn't help that we got married two months after his HS graduation (a month after moving). She had the hardest time dealing with him being gone. We were both going crazy because she called at least every other night and he was getting pretty annoyed. Fortunately, they had a good relationship and even though she irritated me by calling for him so often, we both understood how hard it was on her especially due to some marriage problems she was having at the same time. We were both as patient as we could be, and within a year she had divorced the biggest problem she had-and very soon after found love in an old flame. Once the two of them rekindled, she started calling less and less; actually for the longest time we would call her every week or so because we never heard from her. Now, every time we go back home we beg them to be around so we can hang out with them. I think if she'd continued to be so clingy, hubby would have eventually gotten fed up and she'd be viewed as my parents are: a burden to spend time with. Now, she's one of our best friends (her and the new husband) and we look forward to hearing from her!
So be patient and give him some space, but don't give him too much; you'll be fine and trust me, he won't really be leaving you. Just stepping out a little.

Wish him luck in school, it's tough but it's possible!
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tjwmason Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-20-05 09:51 AM
Response to Reply #27
28. Welcome to D.U.
:hi:
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trof Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-20-05 09:40 AM
Response to Original message
26. When we were empty nesters...
In 1989 we sent our darling baby girl, our only child, off to college.
The three of us have always been very close. Even her teen years brought none of the angst we heard about from friends exasperated with their kids.

She had chosen a university 700 miles away, so no week-end visits. We drove her down to the college at the end of August and helped move her stuff into the dorm. The three of us spent the night in a motel and we said our goodbyes the next morning.

God, it was quiet at home.
Sometimes I'd just go stand in her room and remember.
Many evenings Miz t. would tear up while fixing supper...for two.

We moped around for a couple of weeks, but I had a career to keep my mind on other things, and Miz t. went back to work to help out with the tuition.

Eventually we pulled out of it and began, somewhat guiltily, to enjoy our newfound freedom.

We spent a week-end with her in mid-October, she came home for Thanksgiving, and then again for two weeks at Christmas.

One night, about a week after she'd gone back from Christmas, I got a phone call.
"Dad? I think I made a mistake. This school isn't what I though it would be at all. I'm in the wrong place."
"Unh hunh. I see. And...?"
"And...OK...I'm too far from home and too far from you and mom."
"That's sweet. Anything else? Any problems down there?"
Long sigh..."And I'm too far from Greg."
AHA! Greg was her high school sweetheart. We liked him a lot, and hoped they might marry someday.
"Well, shug, we've already paid the tuition for the year. I'd really hate to blow that."
"I know. I'll finish out the year, but I wanted you to know in plenty of time that I want to transfer to someplace closer to home."
"OK, we'll get to work on it. I love you."
"I love you too, Dad. And Mom!"

Bottom line: She transferred to U. Conn., about 2 hours away.
And 45 minutes away from Greg at Yale.
Everybody's happy.
Perfect.

Epilogue: She and Greg married and we now have a three year old grandson.
:-)





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redwitch Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Sat Aug-20-05 01:11 PM
Response to Reply #26
30. Yay! I do love a happy ending!
My guy is in love and sad to leave his girlfriend. She is a sweetie. That will probably be harder for him than leaving his old mom and dad.
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