Words Women use (True or False)

[BikeWriter]

Please don't flame me for this post. It was sent to me by my one of my Daughters (a woman). I made it true or false so the men could remain safely anonymous if they wished.


WORDS WOMEN USE

FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.


FIVE MINUTES
If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.



NOTHING
This is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you should be on your toes.


Arguments that begin with 'Nothing' usually end in "Fine".



GO AHEAD
This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.



LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing".



SOFT SIGH
Again, not a word, but a non-verbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.



THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.



GO AHEAD
At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.



PLEASE DO
This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay".



THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you're welcome.



THANKS A LOT
This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot." when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing."

[undeterred]

1. female laughing about FIVE MINUTES

I am in the IT profession and every time the network guys say we need to take the network down for 5 MINUTES it really takes between 45 and 75 minutes...!

[BikeWriter]

2. LOL! Uh oh! You could probably write one of these...

about "network guys." :-)

[khashka]

3. When a woman says "Oh well"

You are walking into seriously dangerous territory.

Khash.

[BikeWriter]

4. Oh, yes! "Oh well" means anything but she is shrugging something off!

:scared:

[CaliforniaPeggy]

5. Being an adult female type of woman,

I can tell you that these are all RIGHT ON!

[BikeWriter]

8. ROFL! Thank you for verifyng them, Dear. :-)

[Spinzonner]

6. And you are actually listening to women why ?

:hide:

[BikeWriter]

9. Ooh, I hope you have your asbestos Fruit of the Looms on!

:scared:

[Lydia Leftcoast]

7. I've heard men use some of these with exactly the same meanings

:shrug:

[BikeWriter]

11. I know only my own feelings, but my own responses are milder.

[Nikia]

14. My husband uses many words like that too

It could be because he learned to fight from his mother, while his father said nothing and stormed off to the office when he was really upset. On the otherhand, perhaps a fair deal of men fight like this too.

[BikeWriter]

18. I am prone to the stomping off thing. It's because I know my temper.

[DS1]

10. This sort of shit is on the same level of stupid moronic bullshit

that we as men have to put up with.

Like that "Healthy Serving" or whatever the fuck it's called microwave dinner ad.

"This is the only thing you did right today, daddy". :nuke:

I don't use a leafblower in the house, I don't drop a pound of detergent in the washer.

This is just about all imbecilic bullshit that makes me want to beat my wife!

:hide:

[BikeWriter]

12. Dive! Dive! Dive!

:hide:

[havocmom]

13. Question: Leaf blowers aren't for using in the house?

I find them much faster than the vaccum. And no messy bags to change. Just open the door and aim. Also keeps those pesky door to door religious types away.

[SOteric]

15. Oh so true!

You've never seen the vegetable bin of a refidgerator more sparkling clean than when you've taken the leaf blower to it on 'maximum' setting.

It does traumatise the pets and toddlers, but after a while they get over it and some of them even learn to like it.

[Blue_In_AK]

16. I agree with most of this

except the five-minute thing. I can put myself together in about five seconds.

[BikeWriter]

17. Having been both in the military and a professional firefighter...

I know what you mean. My second wife had an hour long ritual she performed if she were going out "dressed."