how can i behave so freepers will hold me in higher esteem?

[datasuspect]

i guess i need to stop doing copycats.

[Cassandra]

1. You can act like a drooling idiot but...

it's hard to drool for a long time and remain hydrated in the summer.

[Rabrrrrrr]

2. Firmly believe completely contradictory things at the same time

and be able to switch back and forth with no sense of shame for your abject ignorance.

Such as "I am a Christian who loves life, and thinks all life is sacred, and I think it's funny when retarded people and other criminals and Arabs are killed".

or

"The government is too big and powerful and we need to get the government off our backs so they can spend more time monitoring email and our private lives to keep us safe from terrorists and they should be able to hold anyone without reason if they are a suspsected terrorist"

or

"The Constituion is sacred, and it means what it says, and I would defend with my life, and the government should spend more time monitoring email and our private lives to keep us safe from terrorists and they should be able to hold anyone without reason if they are a suspsected terrorist, and there's no reason for a trial for a terrorist."

[CountAllVotes]

3. buy an SUV

and pretend you are a girlie man.

[zanne]

4. Become a Republican.

That's the only thing that will make them think you're right about anything.

[khashka]

5. Wear a suit and a cowboy hat and cut off your dick

You're back in Texas, dude. Get with the program! Beating your kids might earn you extra credit....

Khash.

[asthmaticeog]

6. HALF his dick.

There needs to be *something* left to have pointless anxiety about.

[khashka]

9. You are right, I am wrong

If he cuts the whole thing off he'll have to buy a Porsche. And I don't think he can afford that kinda penis envy....

Khash.

[asthmaticeog]

10. !

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

[datasuspect]

7. but i like my penis

[nickgutierrez]

16. Hey, you've got to fit into those tight jeans somehow. n/t

[FreakinDJ]

8. Just like a BIGOT

should fit right in

[ghostsofgiants]

11. A few Don'ts...

DON'T hate America.
DON'T kill babies.
DON'T let them Ayrabs get away with nothin'.
DON'T be a moran.
DON'T let fags get married.
DON'T not worship God or money. (And we're talking the Christian God here. None of that Allah/Buddah/Ganesha crap.)
DON'T listen to anything but country music. The damn liberals have taken over the rest of the entertainment industry.
DON'T ever pass up a chance to call Michael Moore fat. (Or insult any other Hollywood celebrity for that mater...except Ron Silver.)

That's a start.

[caty]

12. Teach by example---

show compassion and ethical behavior.

[NMMNG]

13. Now why the $%$@ would you want to do that?

:shrug:

[Robeson]

14. Just live vicariously through the wealthiest one percent of Americans...

...like they do, and worship whatever that one percent says, even though that one percent will never - and would never - have a thing to do with you, or give you shit to make your life easier. By living through that one percent, you may be able to brainwash yourself that you are one of them. It seems to work for freepers, so go for it.

[proud2BlibKansan]

15. Don't be

such a good speller.

[shockra]

17. Celibacy.

Or get married and have lots and lots of babies.

Nothing in between.