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LOL: "Rumsfeld Makes Surprise Visit to Wife's Vagina"

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truthpusher Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-22-05 09:12 PM
Original message
LOL: "Rumsfeld Makes Surprise Visit to Wife's Vagina"
Edited on Mon Aug-22-05 09:58 PM by truthpusher
Some very good stuff from the Onion....

http://theonion.com/news/index.php?issue=4133

Rumsfeld Makes Surprise Visit to Wife's Vagina



Above: Rumsfeld strides across the Andrews Air Force Base tarmac, toward his intended vagina.

WASHINGTON, DC—Amid rumors of sagging morale on the home front, Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld greeted his wife Joyce Monday with an unanticipated visit to her vagina, according to the Pentagon.

"Today, at about 1600 hours EST, Secretary Rumsfeld landed in the vagina and delivered cordial greetings to Mrs. Rumsfeld," said Pentagon spokesman Lt. Col. William Brock. "The focus of the trip was to thank Mrs. Rumsfeld for her long years of outstanding service and continuing sacrifices, and to afford the defense secretary an opportunity to survey the vagina up close and in person."

The 12-minute visit, described by Brock as "brief but satisfactory," was characterized by sources close to the vagina as an "in and out" mission.

Because of security concerns, Rumsfeld's aides were quiet about the visit, taking extra efforts to conceal the defense secretary's plans from the media and his wife. After delivering a speech to his wife, Rumsfeld performed a brief inspection of her vagina, then engaged in a few minutes of relaxed, informal contact before returning to the Pentagon.

(snip)

A brief question-and-answer period following the visit revealed some difference of opinion between Rumsfeld and the woman whose vagina he is charged with supplying. When she asked the defense secretary if she could expect "more consistent support" from him in the future, Mrs. Rumsfeld received a characteristically salty reply.

"Naturally, I would like to spend more time in the vaginal region," Rumsfeld said. "But we have a difficult mission to complete, both at home and on the front. Everyone in this conflict is making sacrifices. You go to the vagina with the equipment you have."

(snip)

link to the rest of the story: http://theonion.com/news/index.php?issue=4133

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Crazy Guggenheim Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-22-05 09:13 PM
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1. Holy shit!
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SCRUBDASHRUB Donating Member (1000+ posts) Send PM | Profile | Ignore Mon Aug-22-05 09:39 PM
Response to Reply #1
2. LOL!
When asked about future plans for his wife's vagina, Rumsfeld grew somber.

"This vagina has seen a lot of action," Rumsfeld said. "And much of its infrastructure has fallen into disrepair. I do believe, however, that my wife's sustained efforts under my direction will ultimately allow us to re-establish order in this troubled area."

The Pentagon would not confirm a rumor that President Bush is scheduled to drop in on the vagina with a holiday turkey around Christmas.
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