what was the most vindictive thing you've ever done to anyone?

[slinkerwink]

I'll come clean here.....I had this really emotional relationship with my ex-girlfriend, Kristi. I had left behind my strap-on which she called "Grape Ape" back at the apartment.

She sent me an e-mail a few days later, saying that she had used the strap-on in a photo shoot with her ex-boyfriend. I got so upset when I read her e-mail and couldn't understand how callous she could be to use "Grape Ape" I'd bought for us with her ex-boyfriend.

After we broke up, she actually had the gall to mail me "Grape Ape" back. She sent it back wrapped in tissue paper and I was so angry---I was livid, and got drunk. I then went out into the hall with "Grape Ape" in my hands, and went upstairs to my friend's room. I asked Caroline if I should throw the dildo into Paradise Pond. She said yes, so we went outside.

I changed my mind and decided to set "Grape Ape" on fire. A bunch of girls surrounded me. I told them about what Kristi had done to me, and they were so upset that one of them gave me the lighter to set "Grape Ape" on fire. It started to smolder and as the fire reached three feet high, the dildo started to melt into a puddle right on top of the pizza cardboard box.

We stood there, most of us drunk, and I felt so vindicated.....and then the campus police came, lights flashing across the campus. We all made a dash for it because we weren't supposed to start fires on campus. I laughed so hard, and I felt so free after having burnt "Grape Ape" to a puddle.

When I e-mailed my ex-girlfriend a day later, I told her that I'd burnt "Grape Ape" and sent her a photo of the purple silicone puddle that it had become. She sent me back an e-mail saying that she'd cried for the loss of her "Grape Ape"----I no longer cared by this point. I was finally free. Burning that darned thing had finally set me free from the relationship.

[GOPisEvil]

1. Ya know, I've never done anything vindictive to an ex.

I want nothing more to do with them after the break-up usually. Plus, living well is the best revenge. :-)

Of course, I *do* have visions of them hooked up with real LOSERS!!!! :P

[slinkerwink]

2. hahaha

moving on and finding someone else better is the best revenge, but I have to say that for now (while I'm single) burning "grape ape" was one of the best things I ever did...

[SOteric]

13. Yeah, that's my way as well.

Actually, all but one of my ex's are still very close friends of mine.

I don't know if it's incredible good luck, or if I really *do* know how to pick 'em, but I've loved and been loved by some really wonderful human beings.

[GOPisEvil]

18. I've remained friends with one ex.

But our break-up was mutual, due to excessive distance and lack of resources to move to be near one another. The others? Bah...I don't wish them real ill, but the ones that broke up with me will kick themselves eventually, at least in my fantasy world. :D

[arcane1]

23. I can relate...

Heck my best friend right now is my last ex, broke up 2 years ago but still get along great, kind of a cross between friends and siblings at this point

I'm blessed

[Zomby Woof]

29. still waiting for your revenge then?

:P

[GOPisEvil]

33. Ha!

Yeah. :evilfrown:

[JohnKleeb]

3. Thats tough one

Grape Ape now I am gonna be crackling on that heh.

[Ramsey]

4. Um....

That is so totally out of the realm of existance that I live in that I can not fathom it.

But to answer your question, the worst thing I ever did to an ex was get him arrested for something he didn't really do, at least not by himself. I eventually set him free, but he squirmed for a few days. :evilgrin:

[slinkerwink]

8. lol, that rocks!

:yourock:

[Mysterio]

well...

2 years ago, my ex-gf broke up with me (long story.) Anyways, I was fine with that, considering she was a bitch and all.

So anyways, we remained "friends". You all know how that goes. I then went out with her best friend. My ex became furious and jealous.(understandably).

So one night, while I was going out with my ex's best friend, my ex happened to show up (go figure.) She started bitching me out and yelling at me in the middle of the club. You know the jealous types.

I was pretty drunk by then. I got pissed at her, so I went outside and took a key and scratched up her brand new Mustang GT.

She never found out I did it, thank God. :) She had her suspicions....

[kcr]

5. Not technically an ex

But a soon to be ex stopped a fight to get changed, asked me if the outfit made her look fat, and I said no - the fat made her look fat.

Things went downhill form there.....

[slinkerwink]

11. ooooh, that's harsh....

:p

[XNASA]

6. I have a similar story.

I actually stabbed my ex several times with a 10" butcher knife.

After she fully deflated, I rolled her into a ball and bound her with duct tape. Then I doused her in kerosene, set her aflame, and launched the flaming orb from a trebuchet into Lake Michigan.

I can't tell you what a relief it was. Very cathartic.

:crazy:

Your story's pretty good too.

[GOPisEvil]

7. *snarf*

[XNASA]

16. How insentive.

Sure. Have a laugh at my expense.

:evilgrin:

[slinkerwink]

14. poor sex doll....

did she finally develop teeth?

:grin:

[XNASA]

22. "I blew up her body, but she blew my mind."

10 points to the first one who correctly identifies that reference.

[Ellen Forradalom]

32. In every dream home...

a heartache....

[LoZoccolo]

39. I blew up your body...

...but you blew my mind!

I saw the Roxy Music reunion tour in 2001! Best rock concert I've been to!

[XNASA]

61. Correcto! You get 10 points.

"In Every Dream Home, A Heartache" - Roxy Music

A song about people who pursue material wealth and creature comforts and, in the process, obtain a shallow, empty life filled with heartache and loneliness. Based loosely on the life of William Randolph Hearst.

First Rosebud, and now this.

[bif]

58. How about "You broke my heart so I busted your jaw."

What's that from?

[arcane1]

9. I got cheated-on and otherwise dumped by a live-in ex

and when she moved out, she tried to sneak her cats into the new apartment without paying a pet fee.

I (shamefully but angrily) called the rental office pretending to be a neighbour, and told them she was sneaking in the cats without paying, which they gladly said they would handle. Not sure what happened after that.

I have felt terrible about it ever since. Not because she (presumably) had to pay the $200 fee (she left me with a $760 rent bill), but for using the kitties in that spiteful way :evilfrown:

[slinkerwink]

15. I'm glad you feel bad about the kittens

because they're innocent animals.....

[arcane1]

yeah, I felt like divorcing parents using the kids to spite each other

poor kitties... not like they had any clue, but it's the principle, man

of course, in the end I was the nice guy in the whole scene :)

[Skittles]

10. I shot all four of my ex-boyfriend's tires

I had paid for them and I got tired of asking him to pay me back. Plus he was a jerk. So I shot all four of his new tires and told him, THERE, NOW WE'RE EVEN; WE BOTH GOT NOTHING.


I was MUCH wilder then.

[GOPisEvil]

12. Is this the one you threatened to run over before breakfast in Austin?

:7

[Skittles]

20. that WAS the same guy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LOL!!!!!!!!

[slinkerwink]

17. wow!

that really takes the cake so far! :yourock:

[Skittles]

21. he had it coming, slinkerwink

I don't crap from men.

[Blue-Jay]

31. Note to self:

Reconsider asking Skittles for a date.

:)

[short bus president]

19. never been vindictive towards exes

but I did once piss all in an obnoxious Texan's luggage.

[alwynsw]

24. My asshole boss

left a voice mail for a sales rep he was having an affair with. He hit the wrong speed dial and it went to me. I forwarded it on the company wide net (U.S. and 28 foreign countries). He was married to the Chairman's niece.

He went from V.P. to assistant branch manager in bumfuzzle Canada. He had to keep his employment for five years to take advantage of stock options worth several millions, of which his now ex-wife got half. His court ordered maintenance and child support was figured on his earning ability as opposed to actual earnings. That was greater than his new paycheck.

He borrowed heavily against the stock options to pay the maintenance and finally escaped with less that $100,000.00. His squeeze was fired.

If only he'd treated people with a little respect. He made Don Rickles appear kind.

[slinkerwink]

28. that's karma repaid to him...

good job on calling him on his sh*t...

[Darth_Kitten]

54. And what is

bumfuzzle Canada? :shrug:

Working in Canada ain't that bad. :(

[forgethell]

25. I put

roofing tacks under all 4 of their tires. It doesn't make them go flat at once. However, this wasn't an ex-, there's plenty more fish in the sea. This was somebody who had really done me wrong, financially, and goodness, it felt good.

[populistmom]

26. I'm never vindictive

I fully believe that Karma takes care of the assholes of the universe. In fact, generally, they end up messing things up all by themselves.

[Lizz612]

34. Karma at work

My mother went back to her 25th high school reunion and found that the most popular girl, a real b!tch, was a lunch lady at that very same high school, while my mother is now an attorney!
And a girl who lived down the block from me when I was little and terrorized and insulted me for a few years, barely graduated high school and is still working at the Burger King, while I'm here in college!
Karma can be wonderful thing.
(so can run on sentences)

Ps. love your avatar!

[forgethell]

35. Vengeance is Mine, saith the Lord!

but I like to help him out a little from time to time.

[AWD]

27. I'm very proud of mine

First, let me preface this by saying I work in radio....and anybody who has worked in radio will tell you it's a very cut-throat business.

I didn't know that when I got in. I learned fast.

There was this guy who has kiss-assed his way into the morning show as an intern, and then kiss-assed his way onto the air, part of the paid staff. I was a weekender with a specialty show on Wednesday nights. I can't figure out why he saw me as a threat, unless it was my personality (I'm very outgoing, especially in the DJ booth).

I had spent weeks securing an interview with David Bowie, got it, and had loaded the recorded interview into the computer system. I promoted it all week on the air, and when I arrived on Wednesday night to air the interview, it had been erased. A password search and recovery attempt had shown that he was the person logged in when it was erased.

I had to go on the air and explain that I didn't have the interview ready to go. I looked like an amateur because of this guy. No, he didn't get in trouble, and I have no idea why.

Fast-forward three years...I'm now working for a national company that monitors radio stations for a living (a VERY good living, working from home even). Easiest job I ever had too. ALL new trainees and potential employees are put through a rough set of tests and training, and all employees can have a say in who gets hired (if they want to be a part of it).

I saw this guy's name on the list of new employees, up for approval (he had heard about the job opening through an old mutual co-worker).

On the day he was to be approved, I called my boss, told him the story, and had him blacklisted from being hired. I asked my boss to tell him the name of the person who blacklisted him.

I wanted that asshole to KNOW who had kept him from getting a sweetheart job.

Once, when home for Christmas, I saw him. He was still working for the same station, doing a remote broadcast at a Best Buy. I said "Wow, you're still working for the station?", and kept on walking.

And it felt DAMN GOOD!

[THUNDER HANDS]

30. woah

I've never done anything really vindictive to anyone. But I did feel awful after doing something that was probably not really mean, but not nice, to a girl.

I was dating this girl for about two months and she REALLY dug me. I mean, met her folks, invited to family functions sort of dug.

But after two months I met someone else. Someone whom I'm still friends with to this day.

So I planned on breaking up with girl. Who was not nearly as attractive as the other one (which is the reason I felt bad, it was a looks thing) and I planned on doing it as soon as possible.

So the next time I saw her I told her. Unfortunately that was at her family reunion. So everyone in her family had just gotten to know me, and then an hour later I had to leave and told her I was breaking up with her right there.

I felt awful, but I thought at the time I had to do it.

She was actually crying as I was walking away.

I don't feel as bad anymore because the girl that I left her for is now one of my best friends. But at the time I felt it was a kind of mean, vindictive way to break up with someone.

[slinkerwink]

63. yeah, it does suck to break up with a person at their family's house

but it has to be done sooner or later. If there's a lot of cracks in the relationship, it's better emotionally to get out as soon as possible or else it's a huge ensnarement of high emotions, tears, and drama.

[hlthe2b]

36. I feel guilty just having revenge fantasies....

I could never act on them.... Damn that Judaio-Christian guilt thing!

But, I do belive in Karma, even if I don't always get to see it happen, so be it.

[NightTrain]

37. I've mentioned this before, but we have a lot of new DUers now...

...so I'll tell the story again.

One fine afternoon in the spring of 1990, I left the suburban office building where I worked to go to lunch. Parked in the rear lot was a pick-up truck on whose rear bumper was a sticker that proclaimed, I DON'T BRAKE FOR LIBERALS.

On the way back from lunch, I stopped at a feminist bookstore/coffee house located not too far from my office. I perused the bumper stickers, picked one out, and returned to the office building, hoping the pick-up was still there.

It was.

I made sure nobody was looking and quickly affixed the sticker I had just bought over the other one on that pick-up. Mr. Reactionary's new message to the human race was, I'M GAY AND I'M PROUD!

Think about it. For such a simple prank, the potential for embarrassment was huge! What if Mr. Reactionary noticed my gift to him as he returned to his pick-up? What was he going to do, go back into the building to ask if anyone had a razor blade he could borrow?

Of course, it's entirely possible that he didn't notice the new sticker and simply went on his way. It's also possible that Mr. Reactionary couldn't figure out why so many angry-looking macho men were giving him the finger and calling him a "fuckin' faggot."

Or perhaps he got home unscathed, ahead of his wife, only to have her come in from the garage a little bit later, looking strangely concerned. And perhaps she approached him cautiously and asked, "Honey, is there something we should, you know, discuss?"

Thanks, Slinkerwink, for bringing back such a satisfying memory!

[VOX]

51. Well done, NightTrain! Beautiful!

Hear, hear.

:toast:

[The Zanti Regent]

38. Getting even with a teacher

When I was in high school, I was abused by a teacher.

I got back at him by placing an ad with his name, address and phone number in a swinger's magazine. Don't ask what I put down as his fantasy...

[Ellen Forradalom]

43. Slight variation on this

Taking out a classified in a poetry magazine that says "New poetry journal seeks submissions. We pay by the word" followed by ex's address. The target will wade through manuscripts to reach his front door every day.

[Interrobang]

40. I guess I'm not a very vindictive person, then...

I think the most vindictive thing I ever did was aimed at a *system,* rather than a person. When I was on Welfare, I won't tell you where, I got a Workfare job doing a newsletter advertising all the Workfare jobs for all the poor schmoes like me. When I went for the orientation, the people running the program swore up and down, over and over, that NONE of the Workfare jobs were "in the private sector," because that was "against the law." Well... I noticed an awful lot of jobs coming in for inclusion into that newsletter o' mine that could ONLY have been private sector jobs. (I won't give you specific examples, but some of them were jobs that you would NOT want anyone other than highly-trained, highly-skilled, highly-PAID professionals doing, stuff like safety-critical maintenance involving pressurized gases, for instance!)

Well, that burned my toast right good and proper...but on the other hand, I didn't want to get kicked off benefits. So what did I do? I circled all the offending ads in the newsletter and sent in anonymously in a plain brown, computer-printed (heh heh, me and my fancy-schmancy technology stuff!) envelope to the local anti-poverty activists, a real bulldog buncha folks who were at the time insanely dedicated to creating honesty in the (already exploitative) Workfare system (at least).

They never found out it was me giving the activists all that inside information! Heh heh heh...

[corarose]

41. Do you guys want to hear a good one DEALS WITH THE COPS

I was engaged to a man that I have known for 6 years and he was on the road with a band and he met this GIRL in the hotel where he was staying at in Arizona.
Well, her Daddy owns a huge Candy Company and asshole asked her to marry him after two weeks of knowing her even though he was engaged to me.

I found out and the band that he worked for was touring Canada. I phoned the Mounties and told them that he had drugs on him and he got busted. I didn't know that he had drugs on him and apparently he had the bands stash on him. Jerk shouldn't have FUCKED with me like that.

Oh, I didn't leave him alone after that because he kept calling my house and wanting to go out with me. He didn't think that I was the one that turned him in either.

He kept lying to me and talking about when we were going to get married and all along he didn't know that I knew that he was living in Arizona and he was Married and his little wife was expecting a baby.
I found out the day that she deliver her baby and I phoned the Hospital and they told me the babies name and it's weight. I sent her a card and signed my name and I didn't put previous girlfriend either.
I also phoned the both of them when the bastard was at the hospital with her so that I could congratulate them both at the same time.

DAVID is back in Scotland and she divorced him. Hahahahahaha!

[slinkerwink]

42. I feel really sorry for the kid though

for having such an asshole father.

[corarose]

46. He wanted a citizenship (I feel sorry for the kid)

I hope that he stays single the rest of his life.

He gained so much weight from eating their candy that he ended up looking like Fat Bastard from the Austin Powers movies and he has a Scottish accent to go along with it.

[corarose]

47. I forgot this part

I told them that he had worn a dress one time when I was with him and I wasn't BS'ing them either.

[Booberdawg]

44. Never been vindictive with any of the guys I've dated or them with me, BUT

I had a supervisor about 5 years ago that was VERY vindictive with me. I was transferred to her group with no notice and she was pissed about it. I didn't get any notice either and was not happy about it but that didn't seem to phase her about taking it out on me.

I put up with a lot of snitty, childish bullshit from her and a "friend" of hers that was a long term employee in her group that I out ranked, no less, and one day she wrote me up over an incident and it was just the last straw for me. I left one day when she was not there to avoid a scene with her "friend" that was yelling and carrying on with me at my desk. I just WILL NOT engage in a pissing contest or a shouting match in a professional setting. It is JUST NOT NECESSARY!

So, I packed my shit and left for the day. The broad was NOT my superior, and not related or qualified to the work I was doing, and in fact I out ranked her.

Well the damn supervisor wrote me up for it, (but not her "friend for causing a scene or instigating a hostile environment of course) and threw everything but the kitchen sink into that written warning, most of which had nothing to do with the incident or my leaving.

That was it. I had already gone over her head on the sly and asked for a transfer before that. I wasn't going to suck it up just to keep the peace anymore, even if it was just a temporary assignment. So, I spent a couple nights writing my rebuttal, on my OWN TIME, and spilled my guts. Everything she and her friend were doing that they DIDN'T want the boss to know about, the cheating on time charged to the client (GreenMountain Energy - California tax dollars and deregulation screw job at your service), you name it. Names, dates, details, enough for HER BOSS and HIS BOSS to put 2 and 2 together and verify my story. Also added a few personal work habits and details about them that were unprofessional as hell and would surely embarrass the shit out of them. (yeah, I guess that was vindictive. ;) )

It was about a 10 page type-written letter. I closed it reiterating my request for a transfer.

Heh. My rebuttal/letter got results. :D Boy, did it ever get results. :D Oh, I dropped off about 6 copies of it, to several bosses above her and a couple significant and appropriate spots it human resources to make sure my complaint was considered official and not handled quietly within the department.

My supervisor and her "friend" were called on the carpet. It soon came to my attention that they were both written up. :D In fact "friend" came back in tears after hers. An investigation was made into the details in my letter that took the better part of a week and involved interviews with several other people. Both supervisor and "friend" had to write written responses to questions posed by management. (Although they were not privy to reading my rebuttal/letter). "friend" was in tears again over that. :D

Supervisor had Friday off - I was called into Manager's office and offered the transfer I asked for. To a place I liked. :7 "Now??", I said. "This minute???" He said yes, if you want it. I THOUGHT I DIED AND WENT TO HEAVEN!!!!!! (The other significance of it was that this was being done under the supervisors nose and she would not be told about it till Monday.)

But wait .... LOL! "friend" has one more scene left in her. As I came back to my desk with a cart and started packing my things onto it, she starts having a fit and barking orders at me??? WTF?? She was having a fit because I was moving/transferring without the supervisors knowledge. She couldn't have that! :eyes: She has no fucking authority over me, mind you. :eyes: Then she decided I was NOT taking that PC with me and called the Manager who had just offered me the transfer. Hehe. She got awful quiet during the course of that conversation. :D When she finally hung up the phone she sat there quietly and didn't say another word. :D

Heh - felt good to tell that story again. does that make me vindictive? :D

I left the company about 4 months after that - as soon as I got my 2 years on the resume I beat feet outta there to a different job. I heard shortly after I left that supervisor got demoted. :evilgrin:

Hey - I'd rather keep the peace - but I'll only take being pushed around so far and for so long .....

[whirlygigspin]

45. married her

[Booberdawg]

48. *snarf*

She was divorced 5 years ago when this happened. If you married her since then you have my condolences. :)

[Booberdawg]

50. Forgot one thing

The written warning was gutted. I still had to eat one because I left without contacting a manager, but they ruled the supervisor improperly included a lot of stuff in it that was not appropriate or related to the incident or just plain stupid.

[slinkerwink]

60. That is an...

awesome story! :evilgrin:

[Booberdawg]

64. Isn't it though?

:evilgrin:

I love it when people end up fucking themselves by their own doing. I have a couple sayings that are like a religion with me - What comes around goes around ..... or, they always go too far and it always bites them in the ass.

She got hers. :evilgrin: I prefer not to run any interference though. Would rather see Karma run it's course without me.

I have another story to tell - it involves a court case. They got dirty and I won that one too in a big way but not sure I want to go through it all just to tell it here.

:hi:

[Fight_n_back]

49. Remeber Barbaa Olsen?

Rabbit toothed harie of the right?

I had her email address (while she was still alive) and signed her up for every "free porn by email" site I could find.

I also signed he up on a dating service with a really racy profile.

None of these things contributed to her death.

[Ellen Forradalom]

57. Oh, the magazine subscription card thing

I've done that. In my case, to a supervisor on a temp job who had no grasp of English grammar. We engaged in comma wars for six weeks.

[VOX]

52. Years back, some *married* asshole was trying to steal my girlfriend...

So, WTF, I got his home # out of the directory and called his wife, and briefed her on her hubbie's behaviors. He was ready to kill me for involving an "innocent bystander" (his words). Hey, dude, you play with matches...

To top it off, this guy was a Republican. After he disappeared, I didn't think he had gotten off easy enough. So I put his address on a bunch of those "send no money now" magazine order-cards -- I subscribed him to some of the weirdest shit in print, and also ordered several limited-edition dolls, praying-hands sculptures and ceramic figurines on his behalf. I was cheered by visions of him just suffocating in junk.

I am normally a kind, sane, gentle soul, but this intrusion was so outrageously infuriating that I was compelled to take action. It was a bold play, but it got this world-class jerk out of my life.

As for the girlfriend -- she's now my wife, and we've been together for ten years. I was *not* going to lose her, and I didn't! :toast:

[Loonman]

53. This old coworker pissed me off

So I had sex with his girlfriend.

Turns out he was terrible in the sack. Ha, ha!

[Amaya]

55. I have never really been vindictive to anyone..

at least not yet... I'm a strong believer in Karma.
What goes around always comes around, eventually. That I know for certain.

[ewagner]

56. Many years ago

I had a lady friend with whom I was occassionally intimate. No attachments or anything, just a really nice relationship. One night I found out that my best buddy had taken her to my apartment also. This pissed me off a little bit so I decided to get even.

I talked to the Lady in question and asked her to play along with me. I knew that my buddy was deathly allergic to penicellen so I faked having to be cured for a STD picked up from the Lady,and told him about it. Within five minutes, beads of sweat were breaking out on his forhead. The poor bastard lost about 10 pounds in two weeks, worring about it. The lady and I finally sprung the joke on him one night. We had a nice laugh.

Oh yeah, he got even by having about a dozen keys to my apartment made and handing them out to losers in a singles bar.

We declared a truce after that.

[bif]

59. We had this awful neighbor next door

We used to refer to her as "The She-bitch of Buchenwald." Horrible person, through and through, and pretty nuts to boot. Every once in a while, she'd rent out a small apartment attached to her house (a converted garage). Well, our neighborhood isn't zoned for rentals and I'd send an anonymous letter to the city and report her. Sure enough, a few weeks later, we'd see the renter packing up his/her truck and moving out. I'm sure she knew it was us.

[bratcatinok]

62. He wasn't an ex

when I did what I did and this didn't cause him to become the ex. We actually laughed about it several days later and still do to this day.

Anyway, he was a natural born flirt and I didn't have a problem with it until one night when it got completely out of control.

We left the bar, went home and he passed out in my son's bed. (My son was staying the weekend with his dad.) I was ticked off about the flirting but I was also ticked about how drunk he had been getting.

There he was, all sprawled out on the bed with no clothes on. I got a pair of scissors and cut off all of his pubic hair. I put his pubic hair in the ashtray he had carried into the bedroom. The next day when he woke up he lit his customary cigarette and used the ashtray to put his cigarette out. Needless to say the smell of burning hair was awful. At first he didn't put two and two together about the burning hair smell. It was hilarious watching him look into the ashtray and then figure out where the hair had come from.

I explained I just wanted to let him know how close I could get and how much damage I could do to him when he was drunk. He got the message!

[Gephard]

65. I put their names on subscription cards for gay magazines

Lots of them.

Then I put down their work addresses for the delivery address.

Was that wrong?