Why do so many people take life so serious?

[johnnie]

I have my days, but for the most part I don't have it bad. I always feel a bit guilty when I see people with somber looks on their faces and are really looking serious about things when I know in my head that nothing should be taken THAT serious.
Sure, I get serious sometimes, but all in all what is there to be so serious about?

[Misunderestimator]

1. All I have to say is...

:D :bounce:


:hi:

[johnnie]

2. LOL

See?...Now that's funny.

[Misunderestimator]

3. :)

:loveya:

[Blue-Jay]

5. Oh, lighten up!

:yoiks:

[Misunderestimator]

7. LOL!

:rofl:

[Wapsie B]

4. I wish I could do that

and just enjoy the ride. I'm a solitary person by nature but sometimes have this feeling of loneliness or emptiness I cannot shake.

[johnnie]

8. I think everyone feels a bit lonely here in there in life

I do sometimes, then I get to thinking about when I had people around and what a pain in the ass they can be; that snaps me out of my "loneliness" quite quick..lol.
I'm not really saying that I never have human emotions. Actually I am a pretty passionate person and I wear my heart on my sleeve, but I seem to laugh off a lot more than most people. Not because I am uncaring or bitter, it's just that if I think about something for a few minutes, I end up realizing that it's not worth the time and effort to stress about it.
I think the ego thing is just a little too powerful among humans.

[Reciprocity]

6. Maybe they look like that b/c they are in pain?

[johnnie]

9. Probably

And I know a lot of people credit that to a chemical unbalance. It's strange to think that with all the unbelievable and complicated things nature has done, it still can't get our minds to work right.

[Reciprocity]

10. Or bodies, like with arthritis and other elements.

[johnnie]

12. True but..

Things like arthritis usually occurs as a result of what we do.

[Misunderestimator]

15. Not sure what you mean by that...

but my sister who is not much older than I am, has rheumatoid arthritis... what do you think she "did" to get it? :shrug:

[johnnie]

17. Well, I did say "usually"

Take Osteoarthritis for instance, that is mainly caused by doing something over and over. Arthritis is a common name for about 100 things. I didn't mean that everything is cause by things we do.

[Misunderestimator]

19. Ok, so those with arthritis "usually" cause it themselves...?

YOU don't see that as blaming the victim? I supposed we'd better not have a discussion about HIV.

[johnnie]

27. I'm not blaming anyone

I just wanted to ask why people are so serious about life all the time. A discussion on diseases is a whole other thread. :)

[Misunderestimator]

28. But disease is one of the many reasons people walk around unhappy...

that's all I'm saying. I get your point... there are some people who are just unhappy all the time for no reason, or grumpy, or just plain mean. I don't try to figure them out though, anymore than I try to figure out people who are happy all the time despite all the troubles in the world.

[johnnie]

31. There's that old story

..about the man who was complaining he had no shoes until he saw the man with no feet.
As I said up there :thumbsup: or down there :thumbsdown: I am human and have the same emotions as everyone else. I get sad, angry, mad, jealous, envious and all the other negative emotions flowing through my system too. I used to be a lot worse off until I started realizing things and putting certain things together.
It was probably started in the wrong way, but it's hard to start this kind of conversation here sometimes because people take things the wrong way. Why does a person suffer after the death of a loved one? Is it because they will miss them? Is it because they see other people suffering? Is it because if they don't show emotion for the loss they might look like they don't care? And after answering that question then the question is... is the "suffering" an ego thing or selfish? Is the suffering caused because the person suffered has lost something that THEY wanted?
I guess I should have gone into the philosophy group or something with this question..lol.

[Misunderestimator]

35. It's not that people take things the wrong way, Johnnie...

I read your OP differently than you meant it. I took it the way I took it... not the "wrong way."

That said.... I think you are talking about the process that happens with age. I have experienced it as well. I take things much less seriously at 43 than I did at 33, than I did at 23.

I think the suffering is different for everyone. Just as everyone's tolerance for pain is different. You can't define it or measure it or ever know for sure if someone is really reacting to it honestly, or with ego.

I can only answer for myself johnnie... my suffering has never been an ego thing... and it is usually expressed in absolute privacy... and, I'm sure there have been times when I have appeared miserable to others, because I was.

No, you shouldn't have gone to the philosophy group, johnnie... you should have been more specific in your OP...IMO.

[johnnie]

39. You're right "wrong way" wasn't the right choice of words.

I have trouble understanding what I say and think half the time, so being more specific in my original post is asking a bit much..lol. I'm not saying that in the way that I think I am just "different", it's just that I have always had a hard time expressing what I think in the proper way so other can understand what I am trying to say. Back in my school days they just thought I needed "help" from their doctors, but I didn't go along with it. :)
Anyway, sorry for the confusion. I figured after a bit of time, I would make myself clearer.

[tigereye]

55. no what you said made sense

sometimes how people feel IS a matter of perspective, and they might feel happier if they were able to look at the world differently. If you laugh at the sheer absurdity of the world, it is much harder to get upset, assuming that someone is not dealing with severe depression, terminal health issues, what have you. And even many of those who have had terrible personal experiences have been able to laugh at themselves and maintain a sense of humor, just the same.

[Reciprocity]

71. What I meant was if you are walking around in pain.

You are not going to look happy. So no, this is NOT another thread topic. People can look serious for a number of reasons and not be serious minded per say.

[nini]

22. I wished..

there are different kinds of arthritis.. some injury induced... others genetic and they all hurt :(

[johnnie]

25. Yeah, I'm aware of the pain.

Although not widespread, it does hurt like hell.

[Reciprocity]

72. Lets make that ailments not elements.

[Nikia]

76. Our minds have not evolved to live in modern America

A lot of our evolution as homo sapiens took place when humans lived in small groups of less than 100 people. Those people all knew each other and felt responsibility towards one another. Although it was a more dangerous world, you could count on your group helping you out if you needed it.
In a way, some of the things that we value as modern Americans are also stressors. We value knowledge and not being ignorant. Before mass information though, we would know little about the going ons of anything outside of our group and occaionally our neighbors. We wouldn't worry about wars on the other side of the world or anything like that. As a related effect of mass information, we are constantly exposed to advertising that is designed to make us feel like there is something wrong with us.
We also value freedom, but freedom means that you have to make choices and somethimes those choices are difficult or don't work out right. Also valuing independence and personal responsibility, it means that those bad choices are all our fault.
All those factors, make it more likely that our brains will become imbalanced because thoughts are extremely important to our brain physiology. What happens when our brains become imbalanced and we have problems in modern America. Often, our families and friends, who we might have, abandon us. They tell us that it is our fault, that we made bad decisions. It turns out that sometimes we would have gotten better if they would have done the opposite and given us extra care. That's how we evolved.

[Jamastiene]

58. Sometimes pain sometimes utter despair comes from monetary issues like

where is my next meal going to come from? I've had that look, but it doesn't take much to snap me out of it. Food usually helps. Feed me.

[lukasahero]

11. Some people actually think about things like war and poverty

Some people you pass may well have just been told their father has cancer. Some people may be losing their job, or about to lose their home, their child may be sick, their pet may have just died.

I have recently started really looking at people's faces when I pass them on the street and wonder what their life is really like. Sorry, but some people have things going on that should be taken "that" seriously.

[Misunderestimator]

13. That's very true. And there have been times in my life...

such as the period after my mother died, or after someone has betrayed me in a relationship, or, like you mention, after a loved one is diagnosed with an illness...when I've walked around that way too. Not everything can be cured on the spot with a happy disposition and a smile.

[johnnie]

16. I wasn't clear in my original post

This was actually meant to be a "deeper" question than it turned out to be.
What is it that makes a person sad say, when their pet dies? Is it that they won't have it there anymore? Or is it because the pet won't be able to enjoy their Kibbles and Bits anymore?

[Misunderestimator]

18. Wow, johnnie... don't you have any concept of sadness?

Has no one (or no animal) affected you that way by dying?

[johnnie]

23. Yes, I have the "concept" of sadness

And being human, I have suffered for the loss of people and pets in my life. My question is... where does the sadness come from? Is it sadness for yourself?

[Misunderestimator]

29. Part of it is sadness for oneself... definitely.

I think it's a healthy sadness... the sadness of loss. The sadness of having had someone or some animal in ones life for so long that their loss leaves a hole and an emptiness. The sadness comes from the loss of something dear... not really a sadness for oneself.

It would be sadder to imagine a world where death did not cause sadness, a world in which people and animals could be interchanged without emotion.

So... your discussion is meant to be more a philosophical one than what it appeared on the surface, I assume. Which is good.

[lukasahero]

21. I"m not being a smart ass here, but how old are you?

Have you really no concept of loss? Or are you asking about the bio-mechanics of it?

[johnnie]

24. 41

I'm playing a bit of the devil's advocate here. I just want to hear people's opinions. And yes, the bio-mechanics is part of it.

[Misunderestimator]

30. You, playing devil's advocate? Surely you jest?

:rofl:

[johnnie]

32. Lol, kind of

Not just for argument sake... to argue, but to see what people think.

[johnnie]

14. I guess my OP wasn't clear

I didn't mean random people I see walking down the street. I know if I get cut off in traffic, or someone walks into me or other things, I first think that the person might be going through something that I don't know about.
That said, I guess what I want to ask is... what makes things that serious? I'm not saying it is funny if a loved one dies, but what is it that makes it "serious"? What is it that triggers the seriousness?

[tigereye]

56. good question

maybe you are a closet yogi! ;)

[nini]

20. It can be quite serious at times. I've been to hell and back a couple time

Have you ever wondered where your rent money is coming from?

Have you ever wondered how you were going to feed your child?

Have you ever wondered if you'd ever walk again after a car accident?

Do you know what it's like to be in major pain for every day for over 20 years?


Believe me I appreciate what I have but when times were challenging me to my freaking limit I was serious. I had to be or I would have lost my battles to survive.

Things are good now and I don't have to be so 'serious' but I also know I need to stay serious to be prepared for a downturn that may be around the corner.

[johnnie]

26. I'll answer

Have you ever wondered where your rent money is coming from?

Yes, and in fact I am going through that right now. But I do also remember sitting on the floor of my apartment rolling pennies to buy some food.

Have you ever wondered how you were going to feed your child?

Unfortunately, at 41 years old, I haven't had the pleasure of having a child yet. It's starting to look like I never will, but that's the way it is. I always have wanted that.

Have you ever wondered if you'd ever walk again after a car accident?

Not walk again, but at the age of 8 I was preying that my family was all still alive after I woke up in the hospital after our crash.

Do you know what it's like to be in major pain for every day for over 20 years?

No, not major pain.

[nini]

38. Ok.. I'm going to be a bitch here..

I have no idea why this thread has pushed my buttons like it has.

I just don't get playing devil's advocate on stuff like this. There are people in the world going through all kinds of pain, suffering, trials and tribulations and to even attempt to brush off their 'seriousness' is total bullshit.

Maybe I've reached my BS level with all the shit that is going on in the world. I don't give a shit if you want to play a game here.. it's wrong and definitely should not be a source for your attempts at mind games.

my questions were rhetorical and your responses were taken as an attempt to trivialize my points AND my life experiences. Not cool.

[johnnie]

41. Sorry

[JVS]

33. Because life is serious.

[johnnie]

34. This is true

I guess.

[the_spectator]

36. It's "SERIOUSLY" not "serious"!!!!

Why do so many people take life so SERIOUSLY.
Freeze! Grammar Police!

[Misunderestimator]

37. And that is true as well.

:bounce:

[johnnie]

40. LOL

Oops. Oh well.

[Sugar Smack]

42. When my face is in repose, it's not smiling-

I may be feeling pretty good but weaned myself a long time ago of the habit of smiling for no reason at all. It becomes a habit when young girls are told repeadedly to "smile". It sticks with a lot of women through adulthood, the unspoken admonishment to "smile", so they do a lot more than not, even when they don't feel like it. Some people think I'm a bitch with a bad attitude or I'm mad at them, just because I'm not constantly smiling, and that shit gets really old.

Here's one for you, though. :)

[johnnie]

43. I understand

People ask me why I don't smile much, I respond "I am smiling".

And thank you for the :)

[Terran]

47. I'm like that too.

People are always telling me to "Smile!", but it's not my natural composure. I need something to make me smile (but it doesn't take much. :) )

[Pithlet]

75. Oh, I hate that.

When I'm deep in thought, I tend to have a serious expression on my face that some people mistake for unhappy, so they'll walk up to me and tell me to smile. It makes me want to show them a big old grin right before I smack 'em.

[billyskank]

44. Well, life has many light moments

but basically it is a serious business, this living lark. That doesn't mean we have to be miserable.

[johnnie]

45. Yes

There seems to be a lot of people who are happier when they are miserable though. Or at least trying to make others miserable.

[billyskank]

48. That's because they are taking shelter of their misery

It's wierd, but people really do that. That's why they get so angry when you try to point out to them that things aren't really so bad as they seem.

[johnnie]

50. And misery also loves company

And yeah, I know many people who make things a lot worse than they are. As I said up there, that story about the man complaining he had no shoes until he saw the man with no feet. I basically live by that. Anything can be bad if you really want it to be, but if you really look around there are many people who have it a lot worse.

[Terran]

46. Well, grieving for a lost person...

that to me is mostly about sadness for oneself--that we won't have that person around to brighten our lives. Grieving for an animal is different to me (I recently realized this difference, having lost two cats in less than a year). Because animals are complete and pure innocents, unlike even the best of humans, it saddens me not only to lose their company but to think about how they may pereceive their own lives' ends. They don't understand death, and in many cases their lives must end in fear and pain. And they never deserve such suffering.

Aside from that, I get pretty serious a lot of the time thinking about how the world appears to be undergoing changes that will probably result in indescribable human suffering during my lifetime. But at the same time, I'm very oriented toward humor and laughter, so the two are battling it out in me lately. I think some people are mentally more oriented toward one pole or another. People who are "serious" are naturally so, and they also have much to be serious about these days.

[johnnie]

49. Good answer

:thumbsup:
I feel bad that people got upset over this. Sometimes I just like to see how people feel about something, but it doesn't always come out as planned.

[Terran]

53. Thanks

And nah, I don't think you upset anybody. I guess the true nature of your question was unclear, maybe. I took it as more like "Why can't people just be happy?" until you discussed it further down. What you actually meant was a question worth asking, so thanks for it. :thumbsup:

[WI_DEM]

51. Oh maybe Iraq, high gas prices, maybe no insurance and their sick

maybe a job that doesn't pay enough. There could be lots of things.

[tjdee]

52. Mostly, it's money.

You have no way of knowing, of course, what's going wrong with someone's life...but lack of money can be a soul crusher.

[johnnie]

54. I have seen more people depressed over relationships

I agree that money causes people to be bummed, but in my observations it has been relationships that seem to cause more problems.

[tigereye]

57. some Buddhists say that life is suffering

and desire is the cause of suffering. That if you wanted less or perhaps not at all, you would be less likely to suffer. But I have always felt that if we didn't care about things, we would be less than human.

Well, I like your philosophical musings. You raise interesting points.
In my work, I spend a lot of time getting people to question their assumptions about how they feel and why, and that you do often have control or the ability to change that. And that many, not all, emotional responses are learned and can be unlearned.

Hence, one of MY favorite sayings is, "I'm allowed to be happy."

[johnnie]

60. I have studied Buddhism quite a lot

And the question for this thread was sort of based on something I was thinking about at the time I wrote it.
The Eastern philosophies have changed my life where it concerns suffering and what it means to suffer. Things that I once thought were worth stressing about I no longer feel the need to stress out. My life is far from perfect, but the amount of time I lose sleep, break out in hives, feel depressed and all other things that result from "bad times" has been drastically reduced. I didn't "see the light" or anything like that, I just read a lot and meditated on a lot of things.
I believe that the ego is the main cause of most of our suffering and to break the ego down helps quite a bit on the amount of suffering we do. I'm not saying that everyone has to believe in the same things I do or even listen to what I have to say, but I sure don't miss the stress once had and I do feel a bit sad at watching people suffer so much.

[tigereye]

70. you are very wise

I think we have much more "control" over how we react to things than we think we do.

I'm married to someone who has a very Taoist approach to things, so I hear about these things a lot.

[skygazer]

59. What is there to be so serious about?

Hmmm... I guess that would be a valid question if we could just trust to ... what, god? nature? luck? ... to take care of our needs. Yes, there are things to be serious about, in my opinion. If I don't work, I don't eat and I don't like starving. It's tough to work all the time because my body is falling apart and my health care sucks and is dependent on me working so if I get sick and can't work, I can't take care of my health... etc.

I have three kids and three grandkids and I'd like to see them grow up in a world that's relatively safe and clean, with a shot at seeing some sort of a future but we have a megalomaniac in power who is determined to keep us embroiled in war and destroy the environment at the same time.

None of that should be taken seriously? Maybe I don't understand the question.

[johnnie]

61. No, you understood it

And your answer is a good one.

[LaurenG]

62. there are times when we just don't know

how to take it so we choose serious. :shrug:

[ismnotwasm]

63. Because of the other option

You know--death. kidding, I know what you're saying. My husband lives with MS, and sometimes he ain't so happy. But he loves to make people smile. He messes with everybody. His nickname is Fuck you Phil because he loves to play jokes and make people smile, and the first reaction to some of the crap he pulls (well the ones that use such language) is "Fuck you Phil" It's become a big joke, one that he enjoys. He lives with a lot of pain and fear, and his trickster personality is how he deals with it. And he can get anybody to smile. He's a trip.

[johnnie]

64. Fuck you Phil seems like a great guy to know.. :)

It amazes me when I see people with things like MS and they keep their humor about them. They are the people I look up to.
As I have said throughout this thread, I have my days when I am not that chipper and I go through rough times. I was looking for opinions on what people think it is that makes everyone take everything so serious. Of course things must be taken that way sometimes, but knowing that there is a lot worse things out there, it doesn't hurt to try to find a little humor in situations and make the best of what you have.

[ismnotwasm]

65. You betcha

He's my hero. I don't tell him that enough. He's also friggin' hilarious. We have quite a few biker friends (rather hard core, a few of them) He's been known to sit next to a "new" one and put his hand on the guys leg just to watch him jump. The other guys just laugh. Because they know him.

[OhioChick]

66. I find everyone's responses here

to be quite interesting. I believe that everyone is so serious all the time due to life's stressors. Stop and think of everyone that you know......do you know of anyone that has a "perfectly happy" life right now? I don't. I think that people tend to show their stresses in their looks, body language, etc. I have a chronically ill kid, am always worried about losing my healthcare........not to mention the fact that programming jobs are getting to be a rarity here in the US, etc. Life is tough for most people. But......humor saves me on a daily basis. Granted, some days I slap that fake smile on my face and make it through the day......but I do try my hardest to never let a day pass without making a joke and seeing my kid smile and laugh. He'll remember that forever. :)

Life's just rough, sometimes.

[johnnie]

67. Thanks for the response

I am sorry to hear about your child and I know that must be tough to go through sometimes especially during these times when it seems like every job is hard to keep.
One thing I keep in mind when I feel stress entering my life is... is there anything I can do right now to change this? If there isn't then there is no use in stressing. We have control of our lives, but not all of our life's situations. Sometimes we can cut a lot of stress out of our system if we remember that if there isn't anything that can be done at that exact time, then it's best to not worry about it until you get to that point.

[OhioChick]

68. You're absolutely right........

Why stress over something that you have no control over? I still can't help myself sometimes, though. :crazy:

[Blue_Tires]

69. that's a good question, now that i think about it n/t

[Blue_Tires]

73. ttt one last time

[alarimer]

74. I don't know

But today I have been feeling like the future is really, really bleak. I mean for our country and the world, not necessarily me personally. with gas prices the way they are (and are probably going) I worry about major economic depression. I am sure that I will lose my job in that event. I mean, who needs marine biologists when everyone is starving? Well I do where the fish are and I know how to make gill nets, so I guess I will never starve. Hehe.

I am not sure I want to live to see the future if it is as bleak as I think it is going to be.

[Nikia]

77. Because we alone our responsible for our own destiny

Isn't that what we all believe? The truth is that there are often outside events that we have no control over. There are often people who not only care, but actively try to wreck our lives for their own gain or even just their own amusement.
When things aren't going well, it is rather stressful being responsible for one's own destiny. It is rather stressful knowing that if you fall that no one is there to catch you.