errrr....errrrr....errrrrrr.....(sexually embarassing post)

[Khephra]

What should one do for a bruised ....errrr ....member?

I slammed my err....something or another in my zipper....

[La_Serpiente]

1. Geezus

don't touch it. Just don't fuss with it.

I am not a doctor, but that is what I would do.

[radwriter0555]

10. ICE. Submerge the entire member in a pile of ice for at least 3 hours...

and no masturbating, sex or stiffies for 6-8 weeks.

VERY delicate area... take extreme care.

[sujan]

37. dangerous

It can get frostbit.

[Dookus]

2. find

someone to kiss it and make it better?

[Khephra]

5. smartass

;-)

Should I put something on it? I'm feeling like the guy in "something about marry"

[ironflange]

12. My skin still crawls when I think of that image

[TrogL]

30. No, don't put anything on it

it attracts bacteria.

Just keep it exposed (and stay away from windows)

[LincolnMcGrath]

3. How did you get the frank above the beans, son?

sorry, Ice and elevate is what coach always said.

[greatauntoftriplets]

4. Ice?

I have known men who have had vasectomies and used ice for the pain, swelling and bruising. And, Kheph, this is not the most sexually embarrassing post I have seen on DU. Good luck, guy.

[Orangepeel]

39. well, that kind of depends on how he bruised it

All we really know is that there was a zipper involved. It *might* be the most sexually embarrassing post if we knew all the details! ;-)

(sorry, Kheph. I hope you feel better soon!)

[Rabrrrrrr]

6. Ooooh, ouch!

I did that a number of times as a kid, then went a long time without doing it, and did a couple years ago in my early 30s. brought back memories of how much pain I felt as a kid when I did it!

Sorry to hear about your mishap. Not much you can do, really. Bandage if you're bleeding, and some neosporin or equivalent.

[leftofthedial]

7. masturbate (carefully) 15 times a day

it won't help the bruise, but it sounds like a good idea anyway.

[Khephra]

8. I can't touch "it" without going

OWWW...oh fuck...OOOOOOOWWWW! right now

[FDRrocks]

9. Tears and neosporing?

Any skin cuts?

Thats why I like the baggy cords... you can pull the zipper far away from the member before zippin up.

[Khephra]

16. actually a few cuts

Usually I wear sweatpants, but I wore a new set of dress pants tonight and went zipppppppp...

...and then I went FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK THAT HURTS!

[FDRrocks]

18. it wasnt like...

Something About Mary-zipperscene bad thought, right? I would imagine they heal, and neosporin owns cuts.

[Khephra]

20. Nope...nothng so exotic

I was just going to the bathroom in the dark and zipped up my new pants...then I hurt.

[FDRrocks]

22. Well good luck, man....

My gramps has a similar story, except it happened at his school... and he had to have his female teacher help him get it out!

At least its over, right? That is one of my worst self-inflicted-pain nightmares. Does it hurt as much as I imagine?

[Khephra]

24. OH YES

.

[LearnedHand]

11. Well, whatever you do...

...DON'T clean up spilled gasoline with an old towel, then forget and dry off with said towel later.

[Skittles]

13. JESUS KEF

DIDN'T YOU LEARN YOUR LESSON WHEN YOU WERE LIKE - FIVE? And how the f*** would I know what to do with it ? :7

[Paragon]

14. "He was masturbating!" - Warren

[Khephra]

15. It seems like neosporin

is the choice cure.

[lynx rufus]

17. Cayenne pepper

[Khephra]

19. EVIL EVIL!

:-)

[Rabrrrrrr]

23. Yes, rub it in deeply!!

Keep rubbing it in, driving it as far into the wound as possible ... It will sting a little bit, and you will be tempted to stop using the pepper, but it's important that you use as much as you possibly can. That stinging sensation is what we in the medical field call "healing", and it is a sign that everything is okay.

[bratcatinok]

21. Well,

if it hurts badly enough you might want to see the Doctor tomorrow.

I suggest this because my ex-husband has recently been diagnosed with a problem that was caused by a previous injury and my ex doesn't remember any type of injury. From what the Doctor told him, at one time there was some bruising that damaged some of the blood vessels.

Anyway, it now folds back on itself because of the damage to the blood vessels.

I haven't seen this but am reporting it as it was told to me by my ex.

[smallprint]

25. Immediate application of alcohol

taken orally in pint-sized doses...

:beer: :beer: :beer: :beer:

[HEyHEY]

26. Fuck man

That has happened to me before....my deepest sympathies

[Booberdawg]

27. Serious answer -Since you mentioned a couple cuts

soap and water. For gawd's sakes don't let any infection set in. Let's face it - it's a sensitive area. Yes use ice but wrapped in something to insulate the ice so you don't get an ice burn on top of the problem you already have.

I know you are trying to have a sense of humor about this but it's not funny. An injured dick is serious shit. ;-) Put the neosporin on AFTER you do the soap and water - at least 4 times a day.

[qwertyMike]

28. Amputation

Sorry.

But life holds other promises <snicker snicker>

[Khephra]

31. Well...other than the occasional ....

ermmmm...errrmmm ...something or another...

I haven't had much use for it....maybe youre on to something.

;-)

[TrogL]

29. Do you have it untangled yet?

If not, wait for it to relax before you do anything drastic.

[Khephra]

33. I know I'm a post hound here at DU

But do you really think I'd post with it tangled?

;-)

[OneBlueSky]

32. personally, I'd find someone to kiss it and make it better . . . :) n/t

.

[CandyCrim21]

34. Ben Gay?!

LOL, Just Kidding. But if I WAS a guy I would truely try to help you out babe! Good Luck with that;)

[guitar man]

35. I feel your pain.......

This shit ain't funny. About 3 weeks ago at work,I was on the phone and not really paying attention to what I was doing. I was using a staple puller to unstaple traffic log(about 70 pages).I had the log in my lap.phone propped on my shoulder when the staple puller slipped and I wound up clamping it down squarely on junior's head. Needless to say,the party on the other end of the line was temporarily deafened in one ear and thought I was being brutally murdered.


All I can advise is to keep it clean and neosporin is a good idea to ward off infection. I went through some Advil too

[SmileyBoy]

36. Is it cold outside?? Go out to the street and wave it in traffic.

Like the village idiot in that Family Guy episode was supposed to do.;-)

[Nlighten1]

38. Beans and franks!

I just can't help but think of "There's Something About Mary"

[Meshuga]

40. You are killing me!

All I say is try not get excited or it's going to hurt more... :-)

[supernova]

41. Khephra, are you OK this am?

Just wondering if you got your.... er... problem solved. :*

[Lost4words]

42. OUCH......................................................n/t

[av8rdave]

43. ouch!

You may have to take an injury time out. Other than that, just keep the injured area clean. That's about all you can do.

av8rdave