My uncle is probably dying, cancer's spread and treatments unsuccessful.

[liberalhistorian]

My uncle was diagnosed with Hodgkins Lymphoma seven years ago; he underwent treatment and was given a clean bill of health a couple of years later, much to our relief.

Unfortunately, the little fuckers came back with a vengeance this past spring and this time it was a grim prognosis. Not only was it a more aggressive, nasty form of lymphoma, it appeared to have spread to some areas where you really don't want any cancer cells at all to take up residence. The damn doctors took their good sweet time making their diagnosis, too, more than three months after he first complained of very tell-tale symptoms and that may have cost him some time as far as starting treatments were concerned.

The damn *&*&$%(*& cancer cells have spread some more, now, and the chemo isn't doing the job it's supposed to be doing. My aunt is trying to keep up a brave, cheerful front, as are we all, but it just doesn't look good and I cannot begin to describe how much the thought of him losing his battle hurts. He's always been the family clown, and family gatherings are always so much more fun with him around. He's only 54, damnit, and this shouldn't be happening to him. And I'm alone right now, which makes it so much harder to deal with as I could sure use a nice, long hug right about now.

Sorry for the depressing rant, but you folks have become like a second family to me so I know you'll understand!

[GOPisEvil]

1. Sorry to hear this.

I wish him and the rest of your family all the best. 54 - cripes, that's young!

[liberalhistorian]

3. Thanks, David,

I appreciate it.

[bif]

2. My sympathies...

Positive vibes being emitted from the Mid-West.

[ewagner]

4. Lib........

so sorry to hear that.

I have lived through this three times in my family (actually two cancers and one alzheimers) and can't tell you with a straight face that it won't hurt...a lot. But I did learn a couple of things I can pass on to you.

First, cherish every moment you can spend with him, for his sake.

Second, cherish every moment you can spend with him, for YOUR sake.

I understand you are alone now but know that there are a lot of us to lean on when things get tough.

best wishes.

[liberalhistorian]

6. Thanks, I really do appreciate it.

So, you've dealt with it three times now? God, how'd you do that, I can barely handle one family member! Oh, and a best friend several years ago, but she's well now, thank God! You must be a strong person.

[commander bunnypants]

5. I am sending you some good Karma my friend

and a big :hug:

DDQM

[liberalhistorian]

7. Thank you!

n/t

[chefgirl]

8. Wow, I'm so sorry to hear that....

I think I may know something of what you're feeling. My mother was diagnosed last week with non small cell carcinoma of the lung. Prognosis is not at all good.
I can totally relate to the anger I can feel in your post toward the &*&$% cancer cells, those little fuckers.
I'm hoping your uncle can beat this every bit as much as I'm hoping my Mom can. It's a horrible fate, and brings such sadness to everyone involved.
Stay positive, hope for the best.
You and your uncle will be in my prayers.

-chef-

[liberalhistorian]

10. OMG, I'm so sorry about your

mom, that's a lot harder to deal with than an uncle's illness. I'll keep both of you in my thoughts, and I really hope she's able to fight the little fuckers and win!

[msanger]

9. my best wishes

to you and your whole family. My wife was diagnosed with colon cancer in 1990, and she died 18 months latter, at the age of 36 (or so, I was never very good with dates.)

It certainly sucks to have to face the loss, but from my experience, two things were helpful.

First - do the things you want to do, and your uncle wants to do. Fighting the disease is important, but from our experience continuing to live life is more important. We spend two weeks in the South West, somehting anne had always wanted to do, but we'd never gotten around to.

Second - it can be really helpful to connect iwth a support group. There are "live iwth cancer" groups, and bereavement groups, and groups associated with hospice. Connected with the folks in these groups not only can provide emotional support, often there are very practical tips they can give you (or your Aunt and Uncle) that make live easier.

Again, my best wishes for you, and ifyou want to email direclty - just send me a message. I actually have ot head off to the hospital where my dad is still recovering from a leg operation. He's physically fine, but needs somebody to watch him so he doesnt' hurt himself at night.

This life as a human being can be tough.

[liberalhistorian]

11. Wow, what an awful thing to have

had to deal with! I hope you've been able to deal with it and move on, it's especially hard when they're as young as your wife was.

Thanks for the suggestion about the cancer and bereavement groups, I'll definitely check into that and have my aunt do so as well.

[Tempest]

12. I know what you're going through, my brother is dying of lung cancer

And he's only 54 years old too.

The doctors only give him another couple of months to live. The cancer has caused brain tumors and he's almost in a vegetative state. What a fucked up holiday season this is going to be.

He's on the east coast and I'm on the west coast. I can't afford the time off work and I can't afford the plane fare. All I can do is wait until he dies and get the time off to go to the funeral. It really sucks.

Hang in there. We're all thinking of you.

[liberalhistorian]

13. God, that's terrible!

That's so sad that you can't see your brother before he dies, isn't there any way at all you can borrow the money from family or friends to go see him? You'll definitely be in my thoughts and prayers, especially with the holidays coming up.

[DancingBear]

14. All our thoughts and hopes are with you, LH

I wish I could say I don't know what you're going through - but I do. Happened in almost the same fashion with my dad - positive cancer prognosis followed 18 months later by immediate hospitalization and rapid decline. I arrived at the hospital for what we knew were his final hours, and the guard would not let us up to his room until he checked in to start his shift. My dad died two minutes before I got to the room. I still think about that.

Stay strong, and by all means think of everything good the two of you have been through. You'll make it - we all do.

[pmbryant]

15. Hoping for the best

Must be a very tough time for your whole family. :-(

:grouphug:

--Peter

[Old and In the Way]

16. Sorry to hear..............keep a positive attitude and

hope/pray for the best. Modern medicine is pretty amazing, new therapies and medicines come on line every week.

Best wishes for your family...

[GoddessOfGuinness]

17. I'm sorry to hear that...

~huggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg~

Make him laugh the rest of the way home.

When my friend Debbie was dying of breast cancer, I kept a file in my email box of funnies to send her. She really appreciated the laugh therapy; though it couldn't stop the cancer from doing its dirty work.

After her death, I didn't have the heart to delete it. I even add stuff to it from time to time. A lot of it is music humor; but it's not all that esoteric. If you'd like, I'll send you some.

Another
~huggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg~

[MaryBear]

18. To all of you

who are dealing with pain and suffering and loss of a loved one,

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{ hugs }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}