Excellent Bush Joke

[callous taoboy]

Three Texas surgeons were debating about which of them was the most highly skilled. The first surgeon said, "I once reattached seven fingers to the hands of a concert pianist who then went on to perform a recital for the queen." The second surgeon said, "Well, I attended a fellow who had severed all of his limbs in a car accident, and a few years later he went on to win two golds and a silver at the Olympics." The third surgeon said, "That's nothing. I worked on a cowboy who was drunk and high on cocaine when he rammed his horse into a Santa Fe freight train going 75 miles per hour. All I had to work with was a ten gallon hat and the horse's ass. Three years ago he became the President of the United States!"

[realFedUp]

1. Welcome to Du and this one's for the Lounge

hold on....

rfu, moderator

[lowfive]

2. heh

that's too funny...

[Sticky]

3. I laughed out loud

Now try this one:

A lobbyist, on his way home from work in Washington, D.C., came to a dead halt in traffic and thought to himself, "Wow, this seems worse than usual.

He noticed a police officer walking between the lines of stopped cars, so he rolled down his window and asked, "Officer, what's the hold- up?"

The officer replied, "The President is depressed, so he stopped his motorcade and is threatening to douse himself in gasoline and set himself on fire."

"He says no one believes his stories about why we went to war in Iraq, or the connection between Saddam and al-Qa'ida, or that his tax cuts will help anyone except his wealthy friends; the press called him on the lie about Iraq trying to buy uranium from Niger, and now Campbell Brown is threatening to sue him for a sexual innuendo he made at a recent press conference. So we're taking up a collection for him."

The lobbyist asks, "How much have you got so far?"

The officer replies, "About 14 gallons, but a lot of folks are still siphoning."

[Rhiannon12866]

4. I just love these! LOL! Here is my personal favorite!

Bush's White House Tour

Before the inauguration, George W. was invited to a 'get acquainted' tour of the White House.

After drinking several glasses of iced tea, he asked President Clinton if he could use his personal bathroom. He was astonished to see that the President had a solid gold urinal!

That afternoon, George W. told his wife, Laura, about the urinal. "Just think," he said, "when I am President, I'll have my own personal gold urinal!"

Later, when Laura had lunch with Hillary at her tour of the White House, she told Hillary how impressed George had been with his discovery of the fact that, in the President's private bathroom, the President had a gold urinal.

That evening, Bill and Hillary were getting ready for bed. Hillary turned to Bill and said, "Well, I found out who peed in your saxophone." :D

[corarose]

6. LOL

You made my day.

[Rhiannon12866]

7. If you liked that one, here is another

It made my poor friend that I sent it to while she was at work laugh out loud!:D

Cheney gets a call from his "boss", W.

I've got a problem," says W. "What's the matter?" asks Cheney. Well, you told me to keep busy in the Oval Office, so, I got a jigsaw puzzle, but it's too hard. None of the pieces fit together and I can't find any edges."

"What's it a picture of?" asks Cheney. "A big rooster," replies W. "All right," sighs Cheney, "I'll come over and have a look." So he leaves his office and heads over to the Oval Office. W points at the jigsaw on his desk. Cheney looks at the desk and then turns to W and says, "For crying out loud, Georgie - put the corn flakes back in the box!"

[BrotherBuzz]

8. Yes! and another Bush* puzzler

Bush Solves a Puzzle

His closest advisors came to visit Dubya at the White House one evening and found him slamming down beers and whooping it up. They were astonished since he had given up drinking years ago. When asked why he was off the wagon, Dubya replied that he was celebrating finishing a jigsaw puzzle. They smiled and told him that wasn't much of an accomplishment. "Ah, but you're wrong. I did it in record time." When asked what that record was, he replied that he had finished it after only 6 months. Again, they told him that wasn't that great. "Oh yeah?" said the commander in chief, "Well the box says 3-5 YEARS!"

[Rhiannon12866]

10. Good one!!!

I'll have to pass that on to my friend at work. Sometimes I get her laughing so hard that she gets odd stares from her coworkers!:7

[CSI Willows]

5. LMAO

hilarious :)

[okoboji]

9. Great one!

Here is my favorite....

One night, George W. Bush is awakened by George Washington's ghost in the White House. Bush asks: "George, what is the best thing I could do to help the country?"

"Set an honest and honorable example, just as I did," Washington advises.

The next night, the ghost of Thomas Jefferson moves through the dark bedroom. "Tom," W asks, "what is the best thing I could do to help the country?"

"Cut taxes and reduce the size of government," Jefferson advises.

Bush isn't sleeping well the next night, and sees another figure moving in the shadows. It's Abraham Lincoln's ghost. "Abe, what is the best thing I could do to help the country?" Bush asks. Abe answers: "Go see a play."

[DivinBreuvage]

11. I'm laughing out loud! Here's another

Appropriately enough, this joke was first told about Hoover during the Depression.

Bush applies to Alan Greenspan for the loan of a quarter so he can go to the pay phone down the street and call a friend. Greenspan reaches into his pocket and says, "Here's two quarters. Go call all your friends."

Françoise

[Rhiannon12866]

12. LOL! Another great one!

:D

[MisterP]

13. * meets with the Queen of England:

after asking, "have you caught that mad cow yet?" he says "how do you know your government-folk are smart?" She asks Blair, who's passing by (taking a break from planting his lips on *'s butt, one would presume), "your parents have a child who is not your brother or your sister; who is it?" Blair says, "me, of course."
Later, * goes home and asks Cheney, Rummy, and Rice; they don't know. Powell responds, "me, of course," George turns red in the face and yells, "you're all idiots, it's Tony Blair!"