In the beginning God
created man
and to keep him company, created woman
and soon many babies were born.
Some stuff happens after and before too long, God's chosen people, the Jews
were being enslaved
by the Egyptians
who made them build stuff like pyramids.
But one day, a baby was born, baby Moses
traveled down the Nile river and rose up to free the Jews
who were so happy to get out of Egypt that they ate bread that didn't rise
and all was good. Then the Egyptians
started gaining on them and now a fully-grown Moses
went up a mountain, talked to God
and God told him to take down 10 commandments.
So Moses came down the mountain and was like
- "Look, guys, I just talked to
him."
- "Talked to who, Mo?"
And Moses was like,
- "Oy vey, for schnickin's, God you schmuck!"
--
Just then the Egypians
swarmed in for a sneak attack
But Moses, with his Samurai training, got the bestof the Egyptians
and eventually flew the rest of the Jews over the Red Sea
using The Pharaoh's own air force
Then a few years later a chick named Mary
and some dude named Joseph
had a kid and named in Jesus
and Jesus
grew up and found out he was the son of God
and the Jews
didn't want him and the Romans
didn't want him.
So they crusified him
and the Romans and Jews were both like:
- "Whew, glad that's over with."
But Jesus
wouldn't die. ANd he came back to Earth armed with a tank
and kicked the
out of the Romans.
As for the Jews
- they had their own problems a few years later
- "Nya, haha"
But they were saved by America
, who kiced Hitler's ass in a battle of the bands competition
and all lived happily ever after.
.
.
.
The End