First Date Question

[merry_jane]

Hi everyone. :hi:

I've not been in the dating scene for a while and, a few months after coming out of a 6-year relationship, I'm a bit nervous about a first sort of date next week. (I'm a little bit embarassed because you'd figure a 31-year old woman would know how to behave on a first date).

This guy and I were friends at work while I was in the relationship but we both no longer work there anymore. I liked him a lot then, I was very attracted to him, and I've never stopped thinking about him. I got the impression he liked me too back then but neither one of us could do anything about it because we were both seeing someone. He had called me last summer to tell me how he and his girl broke up. My own relationship ended recently for its own reasons.

I called him up on Thursday (at the encouragement of my fellow DU members here) and was expecting to ask to meet him for coffee but instead he asked to meet me for a drink next week.

He's a really awesome intelligent secular socialist guy who's 37 and plays hockey.

I asked one of my guy friends, who's 26, about what to do and he said, "Just jump his bones." WHAT!? Now, although I'm not quite sure what to do, I don't think that's the right answer. I like the guy, I'm attracted to him but, somehow, that just seems sleezy.

Where are the personal boundaries of a 37-year old guy (as opposed to this horny 26-year old's -- who seemingly doesn't have any and wishes women would just "jump his bones" and if they don't, he classifies them as "depressing people to be around")? How do I let him know I like him without crossing the "coming on too strong" threshold? What are the body language signals I should look for to know to back off or if he's interested?

[willie13705]

1. Relax, be your self....

You'll do fine!

[Fovea]

2. What is a date?

You two are already friends. Friends go out with friends all the time.
Go out, have a good time. Talk, spend time, get caught up.

Why decide anything about sex now, just go prepared, and see what kind of evening you have?

Relax, breathe deeply, this is a core human activity.

[Blue-Jay]

3. First date? Just meet him for coffee.

Don't jump his bones until the second one. ;-)

[DuctapeFatwa]

4. Why not just start with having a drink and enjoying his company?

If you haven't spent time with him in a while, both of you have some catching up to do.

Don't worry about romance, if it happens, you will know, and if it doesn't, you will have had a nice time with someone you hadn't seen for a while.

[Beaker]

7. and end with jumping his bones.

nt

[KG]

5. might i suggest just relaxing, having a good time,

just waiting to see how things go? that's my approach to first dates.

but heck, i've been single for 16 years, so it's possible my approach sucks. :)

[TrogL]

6. jump his bones

Unless you specifically think it's going to scare him off or set to sexy a tone to the relationship.

Other than that, don't let him get away.

[drb]

8. Just relax!

Some simple steps....

(a) Laugh at his jokes

(b) Touch him frequently - the arm is fine

(c) Smile a lot

(d) if "it" looks like it's going to happen, act as if you're not that kinda girl at all, but it's only his astonishingly intense animal magnetism that's making you interested.

(e) Remember, if it doesn't happen the first time, that only means it's more likely the next time, and it will be even better when it does happen.

Good luck!