You've won this round, Windows solitaire...

[short bus president]

but I'll be back, and I SHALL HAVE MY REVENGE!

Now pardon me while I sit here and play windows solitaire over and over and over until I finally win, and rise from my seat with a mighty "IN YOUR FACE, ASSHAT COMPUTER FOE!" to do the happy time solitaire victory fun dance.

[Elidor]

1. Never touch the man in the boat, ROFL

You're taking a few liberties with that quote. I think I like your version better.

Re: the solitaire - get some help, man. See your mental health care professional immediately. I instinctively remove the card games from any computer I use regularly. They're insidious. And they'll give you carpal tunnel eventually, as my mother can attest.